sil9800

[sil9800]

My Swan Song...

To my dear friends, supporters, followers and all my #SPNFamily: Due to recent events over the past

month, both online and off, both positive and negative, it's become painfully clear the time had come when I needed to seriously re-evaluate my online/fandom life. With so much happening, and so many things to consider, it's taken me the better part of that month to come to any definitive conclusion; however, after an obsessive amount of self-reflection, many, many conversations with friends that genuinely care about and love me, and too many prayers and hours of contemplation to count, the time has now come to publicly share my thoughts with you.

As most of you know, I was recently blessed with an amazing, full-time, at-home job with a great company and a generous salary, plus benefits, and a fantastic boss to boot! It's a literal chance of a lifetime that is affording me the opportunity to regroup, re-focus, re-imagine, and rebuild every aspect of my life entirely! As such, it would be insanely irresponsible, ultimately stupid, and after years of prayer for just such an opportunity, I honestly feel it would be downright sacrilegious to do anything but devote myself entirely to the effort it will take to make this endeavor ultimately successful. Unfortunately however, as we've all learned from the show we love so much, success does not come without significant sacrifice. In this case, I'm afraid that means, effective immediately I am officially retiring from covering conventions online.  

Deep breath...

Whew! Ok, moving on... As I mentioned, the reasons for my retirement are both positive and negative, and related to events both online and off. Yes, my new job was indeed the main reason for it and would obviously be an offline and positive event, but it was not the *sole* reason and to leave it at that would be a disservice to the truth. The fact is, in addition to my job and the changes it will bring to my life, there have been negative events online that my decision was also greatly influenced by. Simply put, the level of hostility and toxicity in fandom today has exacerbated my depression and anxiety to the point that lately, I dread coming online and fear what I will see when I do - and I've been feeling this way for a while now. From *my* perspective, the negativity I have witnessed in fandom, though it's always been there to some degree, has grown exponentially this past year. And frankly, it's breaking my heart.

I thought about going into all the horrifying things I have witnessed and experienced this past year, but most of you know what's going on out there already, and those of you that don't have made a conscious decision not to expose yourselves to it, and I wanted to respect that. But part of me also wanted to shine a light on it in hopes of inspiring a change in the behavior of those that participate in it. In the end though, I honestly just came to believe there's just not anything I could say that would make any difference whatsoever anyway. So I will only say that in terms of my retirement, the negativity did indeed play a part in my decision. I *could* have just not covered Fridays and rolled back Sat & Sun coverage enough to maintain a good sleep schedule, but why should I keep exposing myself to all this negativity that keeps upsetting me so much? Then I thought about all the people that *don't* attack. There are so so SO MANY people that *genuinely* appreciate the coverage my team and I provide. THEY are the ones that have motivated me to continue doing this for so long. And I swear, I almost kept doing it just for them. I was thisfreakingclose! It BREAKS MY HEART to disappoint them and that was, without a doubt, the absolute hardest part about this decision. But I found my answer to this quandary while I was reflecting on my journey in this fandom thus far. My journey started the day I started by fighting, even if it was only for my own very existence and through allll the pain I felt every single miserable day of my life. Then eventually, through the acceptance and love coming from the fandom, I came to believe I really was enough; that I was worthy of existing, of friendship, and even all that love that was being offered. Then I was gobsmacked to discover I was actually, finally loving myself enough to accept a great opportunity without self-sabotaging it along the way. And today, I've come to realize that #SPNFamily, the *real* #SPNFamily, will always have my back. So I'm putting myself first for the first time in like, ever, and doing what's best for me, and I know in my heart y'all will understand, because that's just how awesome y'all are, and I can't thank you enough for it!

In closing, let me just clarify, I am not leaving fandom for good, I'm just not covering cons anymore. If you're just following me for con coverage, feel free to unfollow me with no hard feelings at all. But if you enjoy my TL between cons, I hope you'll stay as my TL will likely be more of the same, though admittedly, I probably won't be posting as much. It's not exactly earth-shattering news that Jared & Jensen are my faves, as are Sam & Dean, and I won't apologize for that to anyone, nor should I have to. For some unfathomable reason, some people seem to think that means I don't like other cast and/or characters. So, for the record, I plan to continue doing just what I've always done between cons: celebrate my faves, and anyone/anything else I personally enjoy, with respect to, and without negativity towards other people's faves.

Finally, I want to say thank you to ALL my current, and past team members! Everyone that has ever helped me cover these wonderful and fun Supernatural conventions all over the world!  I could NOT have been near as successful as I have without you!!!!!! I also want to say that I will always be grateful for this fandom and everything it has given me. You have no idea just how much personal growth I've experienced as a direct result of being part of this fandom. I'm looking forward to just being a regular fangirl again so I can reduce the negativity I see and block out the harassment I receive in order to maintain a healthy and uncluttered mind so I can focus on improving my life going forward. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me get here! For the first time in my life, I can finally say, I've got it from here!

All my love, ~sil

[sil9800]

Aww Kylie, you’re too sweet! Thank you so much, and have a GREAT time in Vegas! I’ll be living vicariously through your tweets!! <3 

J2 Orlando Con 2018 Main Panel

 *Watch for panel videos or gifs for context/details :) 

J2 jump onstage. 

Jensen: What are we supposed to do with this flamingo? The boys are playing with the flamingos that were left by Rich in their chairs.

Lots of joking around already :P 

Jared: Are there any Latin teachers here? Jensen: Yeah, I think the Latin teacher section is right over there lol. 

Jared: Happy new year and happy old year. Jensen: That’s not a thing! Jared: It can be our thing *points to audience* it’s the new black! 

Jared is already cracking Jensen up :)

Jared would not kill anybody off an episode he’d write because he knows SPNFamily dearly and knows how pissed off we get. It would be based on Castiel. He would write a script about Cas sitting in the rain. 

Jensen says he would do an episode of an old civil war battle. He would kill off all of the ghosts. “Thanks for the idea, Krip, we’ll take it from here.” 

Jared is telling a story about going to Florida last April for his brother-in-law’s wedding and how he saw an alligator. His kids wanted to see alligators and he was like, there won’t be any but when he was going for a walk, he saw one on the streets lol!

J2 are so giggly and happy <3 

Jensen: “Is south Florida not a part of Florida? Hey, we have parts of Texas we don’t claim.” 

Jensen: There’s certain times when they yell cut where you’re not able to just stop, especially in emotional scenes. 

Jared is sticking his hands in Jensen’s shirt again. “He has pockets in his shirt.” He’s not over it, he loves the shirt pockets lol. 

Jared: My first day at work this year they call action and we say our lines and I couldn’t remember how to act. It was the first time he was able to take a break from Supernatural (over hiatus) and separate show from real life. Jared says things stay for him if he stays in what he calls work mode. 

J2 had five full days of filming this past week. 

Jensen is telling the story about the first day shooting the new season and the crane with the camera swinging around in the car. They did a driving sequence and they have a convo, but while Jensen was driving there’s another vehicle driving around them with the crane. First time doing that. 

Jensen teasing Jared: And genius here can’t remember his lines! 

Prank question: Jared and Jensen actually didn’t do anything to Misha in their last scene they shot together and Misha was so confused lol. “It was one of our better pranks by not doing anything at all.” 

Jensen: “Impromptu is being just us being super idiots.” Jared: Supernatural Jensen: Supernatural super idiots. 

J2 in sync. 

Norton is still messing with Jared by not giving him rimshots for some of his jokes lol. Jared will look at Norton to do it after he makes a joke, Norton doesn’t do it, Jensen repeats what Jared says and then Stephen does it :P

Jensen didn’t always know he was going to become an actor, it came to him naturally. 

Jared always knew he wanted to be an actor. After SPN, though, Jared says on acting: “I’m very, very excited to put this chapter of my life on hold for a while.” 

Would you allow your children to be on the show? Jared: Shep would be evil. A child of mine has been on the show. He won’t give ep info or details, though. 

J2 talking about if their kids wanted to act and that it would have to be something they would want to do and that the industry is difficult. Jensen says if they’re passionate about it, he’d support it. 

Jared about the series finale: I think at least one brother would have to die. 

Jensen says Dean’s heaven would be doing donuts in the Impala in the Hooters parking lot.  

Jared: If Sam and Dean have a heaven it would be helping people. 

Jensen is making funny faces at Jared. Jared: I can see you on the screen lol. 

Do they believe in the supernatural? Jared: I already believed in the supernatural before spn and I’ve had some strange experiences. Tells the haunted hotel in Austin story. 

Jensen: Did it ever occur to you that your wife enjoys watching Dean on TV? Jared: Yes, she’s been a fan of Gilmore Girls *crowd cheers*

Norton finally gave Jared a rimshot and Jared flipped his chair in excitement. The whole room cheered. 

In the last episode, running back to get the last piece of lizard wasn’t in the script. Jensen was like: Dean wouldn’t leave food. 

They attached chicken to a real taxidermy lizard so it looked realistic. 

Fan: I was wondering if Jesus was ever going to be on the show? Jensen points to Jared: Savior of mankind right here. Jared *flips hair* 

JJ wants Jensen to have a princess party and that he should be Ariel “merman” 

Jared’s Disney princess would be Rapunzel. 

Jensen just called Jared a princess. 

Jared is on the floor. 

Jensen to Jared: I think it would be “a whole new world” if you were Jasmine. Jared: I’d say Elsa but my microphone was “Frozen.” 

Favorite pie? Jared whispers to Jensen, they giggle. Fan: An appropriate pie. Norton gives the fan a rimshot lol. 

Jensen’s favorite pie is coconut cream pie. 

Jared: My fav pi is the circumference divided by the radius, which is 3.1415…

Jensen leaned back on Jared and acted like he was going to sleep. 

Jensen says Aurora all sexy. Jared collapses. 

Have Dean and Sam forgiven themselves for the things they’ve done? Jared: They still harbor some sadness for some people they couldn’t save, Charlie for example. But they’re doing good for the world, so they’ve forgiven each other and a major degree of themselves. 

Jensen: I think Dean’s forgiven himself for the things he’s done but it’s hard for him to forgive himself for the things he didn’t do. Not being able to save the people he loved. 

Jensen called Jared Jasmine again :P

Jensen talking about Amara’s gift to Dean, Jared got teary eyed. Jensen to Jared: You okay there big guy? 

Jensen says Dean needed to get the weight of those feelings out during that scene with Mary when he said he hated and loved her. 

Last question!

Jared: Half the funny stuff is scripted, other half is off script (improv). 

They sang happy birthday to Clif. 

J2 fist bump, back tapping, and that’s the end of the panel! 

(Side note: The next convention is VegasCon on Feb 22-25, and I’m attending! :D Unfortunately, that does mean I won’t be able to do my panel summaries like normal. Follow Sil on Twitter here, on Tumblr here, and on YouTube here; she and her team do a great job of providing content from the cons, including panel summaries on Storify and panel videos! Thanks guys :)) 

Info via: Fangasm, Mel, NerdsandBeyond, Tina, Sil’s livetweet list

[sil9800]

Admin Needed!

First I’d like to thank Bhavya Gupta for all she has done for what was once just a little blog showcasing conventions! She worked hard to collect ALL the stories and ALL the gifs and grown this little blog to over 2000 followers now!! She demonstrated the highest standard of unbiased professionalism and I miss her greatly! She has now moved on in her life and is currently focused on her education and things of the “adulting” variety, and somehow my pride has grown even more! We at Sil’s Con Squad wish her ALL the best in her future endeavors and we are so grateful she continues to keep in touch with us often. She will ALWAYS be part of the team! Best wishes to you always Bhavya!! 

Ok then, with that being said, WE NEED HELP!!! LOL. I’m looking for an admin that’s willing to pick up where Bhavya left off. Hopefully y’all still remember what we do around here, but we collect *original* convention-related blog posts, and re-blog them. These include Photo Op and Auto Stories, general reports, and gifs made from videos. We find them by searching the various con tags for each con, and each reblog is tagged according to our tagging system so they can be easily found after the con, and to provide a historical record, or database if you will.

Requirements: *Must have a computer! Unfortunately, this cannot be done on a phone or tablet *Must have somewhat advanced Tumblr experience as in, must know how to get around Tumblr, run searches, find *original* postings, reblog, tag, etc. *Must have, or be willing to create, a twitter account for easier communication with the rest of the team. *Must be willing to use TweetDeck as your twitter app - we’ll walk you thru this one. It’s easy, but needed in case you ever have to delete something that’s been cross-posted to the Con Squad twitter acct. *Must be willing to commit to updating the blog twice per day on Sat, Sun, and Mon of every con wkd, then once per day after that until postings slow to a crawl. **update** Each update shouldn’t take any more than an hour of your time (usually less). **end update** Please keep in mind, updates *cannot* be done *during* panel times because they cross post to twitter and we’re obviously busy with live-tweets at that time. *Occasionally* having to miss a con due to actually attending the con is perfectly fine. *OVERSEAS ADMINS WELCOME!!! In fact, they’re almost preferable! Bhavya was in India and her overnight updates, in the US timezone, seemed to work out well.  *Lastly, but most importantly, you MUST be able to put aside personal preferences and collect posts in an UNBIASED manner. You’re welcome to *have* your favorites, obviously, we all do! But by doing this, you agree to put aside your preferences and conduct yourself professionally. We do not post anything “too shippy” or controversial, so you’ll need to be able to discern what’s appropriate and what is not, with little supervision after being trained (though I’m always available to ask if something seems questionable).

I think that’s about it. If you’re interested in joining the team, please send me a message here, or tweet me on twitter! I’ll get back to you as soon as possible! Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you soon! 

[sil9800]

Admin Needed!

First I’d like to thank Bhavya Gupta for all she has done for what was once just a little blog showcasing conventions! She worked hard to collect ALL the stories and ALL the gifs and grown this little blog to over 2000 followers now!! She demonstrated the highest standard of unbiased professionalism and I miss her greatly! She has now moved on in her life and is currently focused on her education and things of the “adulting” variety, and somehow my pride has grown even more! We at Sil’s Con Squad wish her ALL the best in her future endeavors and we are so grateful she continues to keep in touch with us often. She will ALWAYS be part of the team! Best wishes to you always Bhavya!! 

Ok then, with that being said, WE NEED HELP!!! LOL. I’m looking for an admin that’s willing to pick up where Bhavya left off. Hopefully y’all still remember what we do around here, but we collect *original* convention-related blog posts, and re-blog them. These include Photo Op and Auto Stories, general reports, and gifs made from videos. We find them by searching the various con tags for each con, and each reblog is tagged according to our tagging system so they can be easily found after the con, and to provide a historical record, or database if you will.

Requirements: *Must have a computer! Unfortunately, this cannot be done on a phone or tablet *Must have somewhat advanced Tumblr experience as in, must know how to get around Tumblr, run searches, find *original* postings, reblog, tag, etc. *Must have, or be willing to create, a twitter account for easier communication with the rest of the team. *Must be willing to use TweetDeck as your twitter app - we’ll walk you thru this one. It’s easy, but needed in case you ever have to delete something that’s been cross-posted to the Con Squad twitter acct. *Must be willing to commit to updating the blog twice per day on Sat, Sun, and Mon of every con wkd, then once per day after that until postings slow to a crawl. But please keep in mind, updates *cannot* be done *during* panel times because they cross post to twitter and we’re obviously busy with live-tweets at that time. *Occasionally* having to miss a con due to actually attending the con is perfectly fine. *OVERSEAS ADMINS WELCOME!!! In fact, they’re almost preferable! Bhavya was in India and her overnight updates, in the US timezone, seemed to work out well.  *Lastly, but most importantly, you MUST be able to put aside personal preferences and collect posts in an UNBIASED manner. You’re welcome to *have* your favorites, obviously, we all do! But by doing this, you agree to put aside your preferences and conduct yourself professionally. We do not post anything “too shippy” or controversial, so you’ll need to be able to discern what’s appropriate and what is not, with little supervision after being trained (though I’m always available to ask if something seems questionable).

I think that’s about it. If you’re interested in joining the team, please send me a message here, or tweet me on twitter! I’ll get back to you as soon as possible! Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you soon! 

[sil9800]

Admin Needed!

First I’d like to thank Bhavya Gupta for all she has done for what was once just a little blog showcasing conventions! She worked hard to collect ALL the stories and ALL the gifs and grown this little blog to over 2000 followers now!! She demonstrated the highest standard of unbiased professionalism and I miss her greatly! She has now moved on in her life and is currently focused on her education and things of the “adulting” variety, and somehow my pride has grown even more! We at Sil’s Con Squad wish her ALL the best in her future endeavors and we are so grateful she continues to keep in touch with us often. She will ALWAYS be part of the team! Best wishes to you always Bhavya!! 

Ok then, with that being said, WE NEED HELP!!! LOL. I’m looking for an admin that’s willing to pick up where Bhavya left off. Hopefully y’all still remember what we do around here, but we collect *original* convention-related blog posts, and re-blog them. These include Photo Op and Auto Stories, general reports, and gifs made from videos. We find them by searching the various con tags for each con, and each reblog is tagged according to our tagging system so they can be easily found after the con, and to provide a historical record, or database if you will.

Requirements: *Must have a computer! Unfortunately, this cannot be done on a phone or tablet *Must have somewhat advanced Tumblr experience as in, must know how to get around Tumblr, run searches, find *original* postings, reblog, tag, etc. *Must have, or be willing to create, a twitter account for easier communication with the rest of the team. *Must be willing to use TweetDeck as your twitter app - we’ll walk you thru this one. It’s easy, but needed in case you ever have to delete something that’s been cross-posted to the Con Squad twitter acct. *Must be willing to commit to updating the blog twice per day on Sat, Sun, and Mon of every con wkd, then once per day after that until postings slow to a crawl. **update** Each update shouldn’t take any more than an hour of your time (usually less). **end update** Please keep in mind, updates *cannot* be done *during* panel times because they cross post to twitter and we’re obviously busy with live-tweets at that time. *Occasionally* having to miss a con due to actually attending the con is perfectly fine. *OVERSEAS ADMINS WELCOME!!! In fact, they’re almost preferable! Bhavya was in India and her overnight updates, in the US timezone, seemed to work out well.  *Lastly, but most importantly, you MUST be able to put aside personal preferences and collect posts in an UNBIASED manner. You’re welcome to *have* your favorites, obviously, we all do! But by doing this, you agree to put aside your preferences and conduct yourself professionally. We do not post anything “too shippy” or controversial, so you’ll need to be able to discern what’s appropriate and what is not, with little supervision after being trained (though I’m always available to ask if something seems questionable).

I think that’s about it. If you’re interested in joining the team, please send me a message here, or tweet me on twitter! I’ll get back to you as soon as possible! Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you soon! 

[sil9800]

Fight Like A Girl

In a short five-week period, 16-year-old Kira (niece of Jim Beaver) went from a normal and healthy teenager to a kid fighting a serious brain tumor.

The cost of therapy and drugs could cost around $300,000 a year.

We want to do our part to help her family raise as much as possible.

For every $5 that you donate, you will be earn one entry into a raffle to win an autographed Ladies of Supernatural calender (signed by Kim Rhodes, Briana Buckmaster, Sam Smith, Rachel Miner, Ruth Connell, and Emily Swallow).

Donate here: https://www.gofundme.com/helpkirafight

After you donate, send us a screenshot that shows your name and the amount that you donated. Use #FightLikeAGirl .

You can send us your screenshot on Twitter (tweet or DM to @CarryOn_SPN) or on Facebook (DM at www.facebook.com/carryonspn).

Deadline: Friday, December 29th.

[sil9800]

Alright so this has been the most bizarre experience of MY LIFE.

So my dad works for Jimmy Kimmel and when I heard Jared was going to be on the show, I asked my dad to see if I could potentially meet him. After talk with producers and such, they gave us the okay for meeting with him.

So I’m SHAKING and they lead me to the dressing room and there’s a bunch of people in there and Jared is sitting on the couch, but when he sees me he gets up and he is SO TALL. Like, extremely, y’all.

I introduce myself and I’m not really sure what I want to do with my hands, like, do I shake his hand or something? Instead of dealing with that awkward mess, he immediately opened his arms and said “We hug here.” Literally, I was SHAKING and hugged him and was super star struck. There were a bunch of people leading me deeper into the room and next thing I know, someone is saying “Gen is here, too.” AND SHE IS.

So I get a hug from Gen and Jared asks how I’m doing and everything is super chill and awesome. He signs my sweatshirt and Gen does, too, and I’m expecting that to be it because usually during the show, they’re trying to get things done as fast as possible.

It doesn’t end. Next thing I know, they’re asking me about my name. Is that my real name? Yes. Where did I get it from? Police woman. At one point, Gen even says that she wished she had named one of her kids Pepper because “it’s such a beautiful name.” Of course to this Jared responds “We’re not having anymore kids.” He does, however, consider naming a dog Pepper.

So, someone asks me how many years I’ve watched the show for (three). Jared tells me he likes my AKF shirt. I’m shook as hell. Then I tell him that Supernatural really opened my eyes to the realm of fandom which has really been my safety blanket for the last three years. In return, he shares that when he was young he was in the mutant ninja turtles fandom. He also shares that Jensen is jealous because he has to work while Jared gets to chill in hollywood. Evil laughter ensues. Delightful.

So, I don’t want to hold them up, but I DO want to take a picture with them. Gen wants to take my photo first. So Gen takes a photo of me and Jared together. I’m so surprised because usually the fan takes a picture of the star, not vice versa! Then, she situates herself next to me, switching places with Jared several times, trying to get nice light. I got so many hugs.

Imagine my surprise when she asks for my instagram handle (@dudewhatswiththeshorts). She wants me on her story. I am SO SHOOK.

As I leave, I get more hugs, and Gen says she loves my fashion sense. Next thing I know my phone is blowing up with instagram notifications from her post.

Shocking. Absolutely, wonderfully surreal. I can die happy now.

(y’all can repost, just give me credit first)

[sil9800]

Jensen Ackles for Entertainment Weekly’s Special Halloween Issue. [x]

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Jared Padalecki for Entertainment Weekly’s Special Halloween Issue. [x]

[sil9800]

Entertainment Weekly Halloween

[sil9800]

I only had two photo ops this weekend but I’m so so happy with how they turned out. The whole con was just absolutely amazing, and I cannot wait until I can go back haha!!

(Also, Jared’s hugs are literal heaven and I’ve never been happier. He and Jensen were more than willing to squish me in a big brother sandwich hug, which totally didn’t fulfill every single Winchester!sister dream I’ve ever had ever! But I’ll give the full story for that op tomorrow ;))

[sil9800]

Who says competition is a bad thing?

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FangasmSPN. (2017, Sep 23). Double Collins! #spnnj @mishacollins (x)

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(с)@urrrkaj  Awww my friend met Jensen.

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Shoshannah Stern Panel NJCON 9/22/2017 Published on Sep 23, 2017 by Nicole M

“Shoshannah Stern’s first ever con and panel at Supernatural njcon/spnnj 2017! I apologize in advance for my terrible videotaping skills!!”

[sil9800]

It sounds like they now know exactly how and when they would like the show to end.

(MinnCon, NJCon)

[sil9800]

HQ UNPLUGGED VERSION OF “BROTHER”  BY JENSEN ACKLES FT JASON MANNS WITH LOUDEN SWAIN AT SNS CONCERT WOW JUST WOW WHAT A VOICE! 

THIS IS MIND BLOWING PEOPLE! JUST WATCH!!!! 

Via:  Superonceupona Wholock