sigmaaegoniii
brianna’s ghost
200 posts
18/Ace/Any pronouns gone, PJO, and hotd fan Currently on a Gone reread
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sigmaaegoniii · 25 days ago
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Mikasa OAV analysis
I really enjoyed this OAV and so I’d like to give you my thoughts about it.
First of all this OAV follows a circular structure, which is able to connect it with the canon anime series to develope the narrative arc of Mikasa herself.
This is the OAV premise:
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Mikasa remembers a dream made that day in Trost when she realized the loss of Eren. That day Eren sacrificed himself for Armin. The Trost arc is the one which presents the narrative flaws of almost all the characters.
And then:
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Mikasa is trying to create an alternative reality to avoid Eren’s death, but there’s someone who warns her that there’s no way to stop this cruel destiny. Btw Mikasa has to learn this lesson and this dream will be able to teach her what her real spot in this story has to be.
Despite the reality where Mikasa is totally unable to control the events even if she is so strong here she does. We have many details which point out this fact: whatever she wants she gets, except to stop Eren’s death (which is the only thing she truly wants at the beginning of the series):
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Eren is the one we know well, the child who always searched freedom when freedom has an high prize. This prize is what Mikasa tries to avoid controlling the events in her dream, and she is very selfish in this desire because she doesn’t even care about what Eren’s desires are:
a) she stops the wolf before they attack;
b) when she wishes for seeing Eren one more time her mother takes an infection;
c) after she said she doesn’t want that Eren joins the SC this is what happened:
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In this scan we can see that whatever Mikasa does there’s nothing she can do to stop Eren’s will, because he has a dream and he carries death within his body.
I think this is a little bit sad because it means that even in a dream Mikasa can’t realize her desires, but it’s also a positive message because what Mikasa desires isn’t sane at all. She needs to kill this part of herself to grow up as a person and to have a true relationship with Eren and this is what she does when she kills her reflection in the mirror (the mirror man).
In the entire OAV there’s a number which is often mentioned:
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Eren beats three punches, Mikasa can give the scarf back to Eren in three days and Eren will leave the walls at the third ring of the bell. Moreover we have three walls and the story follows three protagonists. 
Three is the Triad number and the number of the whole as it contains the beginning, a middle and an end. It’s also something circular which divides human as body, soul and spirit. Number three is also associated with communication skills and feelings self-expression.
It has to be a clue for something more. 
Btw, we have to analyze this moment in the OAV:
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Mikasa meets the mirror guy who wants to turn her into a murderer when she is running towards Eren. This guy is preventing her to reach the object of her run, but who is him?
We see that he has no face, but he’s just a Mikasa’s reflection. That’s why is Mikasa herself to be prevented from reaching Eren because of a free choice. She is victim of her violence, which she thinks is made for Eren and is useful to be on his side, but she’s wrong.
The violence is the fact which stops Mikasa to reach the object of her desire. It’s not a concidence that the only pure moment in her relationship with Eren is in the season two when she is not able to fight anymore and then she admits to Eren her true feelings. 
Mikasa becomes a murderer for herself to survive making the philosophy of survival as her flag. Btw no matter how fast or strong she is because Eren will leave her behind, and this makes Mikasa suffer but it’s also important for her growth as a character:
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In this scan the man in the mirror says that Eren carries death within his body, which seems something connected with the Ymir’s curse. This maybe means that from the beginning to these days Mikasa learns this sad truth and that’s why she has to accept it:
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The man in the mirror is she because of this scan, which represents one of the narrative flaws of her character. She thinks the key is the power when the power is the one which doesn’t allow Mikasa to be happy at all, prisoner of this role in such a way. The power is the only answer to the awareness of a cruel world, but she has not to forget that this world is also very beautiful.
Btw even if she tries to create another reality the events are reproposed following an alternative pov, and it means that without them Mikasa would not have come this far and would never have known Eren.
On the other hand in this dream everything seems to start with Eren, when in the reality everything started with a Mikasa trauma that she has to overcome.
Because its circular structure this is the end:
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This end is the same of the reality she tries to change.
And because of that Mikasa learns her lesson:
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She cant’ stop him, but she can be by his side. I think this not means a total overcoming of her narrative flaws, but it’s important for her development.
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sigmaaegoniii · 1 month ago
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huge aot art dump enjoy (creds to fromriches-tosin for the jean bouncing on it in reiners lowest darkest days)
also u can send requests afjdkjfdk
i want aot mutuals on twitter pls @/carrot_andlemon
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sigmaaegoniii · 2 months ago
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Do you think Drake and Sam both reached for the gun??
Progress photos under the cut
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sigmaaegoniii · 2 months ago
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So sigma
hug
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sigmaaegoniii · 2 months ago
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I’m so extremely sigma
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sigmaaegoniii · 2 months ago
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The E in LGBT stands for Eren
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sigmaaegoniii · 2 months ago
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I’m not feeling great
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sigmaaegoniii · 3 months ago
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new cass solo and it DOESN'T seem to be a six issue mini like so many of these things have been recently? oh, we're so back
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sigmaaegoniii · 3 months ago
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Caine: Personally, I blame you
Sam: How could this possibly be my fault?
Caine: Because otherwise it would be my fault, and that can't be right
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sigmaaegoniii · 5 months ago
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flash games actually raised me more than my parents did and im genuinely gonna miss them
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sigmaaegoniii · 6 months ago
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i hate rating things bc i find it somewhat shallow ? and most people i see doing that just put up a number and end it like that. i think stories deserve discussions and i love that your blog has brought up so many interesting points while reading aot. my favorite characters ended up being mikasa, gabi, ymir (freckled one) and levi! never been a fan of eren post-timeskip (i really loved 15yo eren lol) but i think his development and his journey has been one of the best things from this series.
Thank you for the kind words!
Yeah, I feel like number ratings kind of say nothing, too.
Especially with longer stuff, too. It was all critical discussion consisted of back in the early 2000s.
I remember I used to rank all of the One Piece arcs all the time when I first discovered online discussion.
But as times have gone on, the video essay format has become more popular and I think with good reason.
Stories just have so much more to them and writing a small paragraph often just encompasses a very small picture of the entire story.
There are often many things to talk about with even the worst stories.
Number ratings are an even more minimal version of that.
At least a good short review still tells you the good and bad parts. A number or rating is much more obtuse and sort of mechanical.
I love this new trend of just talking about stuff.
Just to give my two cents on those characters!
I think Mikasa and freckled Ymir at least make my top 10, but again, I'm not that big on really ranking stuff, either. It's just stuff I love or like or hate or find okay.
I think Mikasa is among the top half of characters, but what's holding back her character for me is that in the end the main thing about her character is her relationship with Eren.
She does have other relationships and character development elements, but a really overwhelming part of her character is about her relationship with Eren.
It's a interesting and complex relationship and I love that the masculine elements of her character remain in place up till the end.
She's sort of like a genderbend of the seasoned warrior archetype who ends up losing their loved one by the end.
If you made Mikasa a guy, this would be a fairly typical end for a story like this and this is the end some people actually wanted for Eren, even. The warrior who lost everything in their strife-driven life and now wanders in solitude, never really being able to move on from their traumas.
But it pulls a twist here, too because Mikasa is not alone. She can grieve and she can move forward.
In fact, I think the story pulled this on a smaller scale for Levi and Petra and his squad.
It's pretty interesting to think about.
Freckled Ymir is super great during the time she's there. I love her. But I'm bummed we basically got nothing on Historia's side by the end. Historia's character became a mess the moment her pregnancy happened, but I think the story could've still addressed the relationship in some way by the end. Even like a hint of her letter still being there in her drawer or something. We basically got nothing after Historia first read the letter and I think that ending pushes her a little bit down on my list. I'm fine with her giving her life for Historia in a naive way (in the end her decision mirrors how all of the Marley warriors try to please the corrupt system to get a positive result when it actually makes things worse), but I wanted just a little bit more closure for her.
I ended up finding Levi okay, myself. I think he's Mikasa except less interesting because his relationships with any of the other vets isn't nearly as complex and nothing all that interesting is done with his backstory/archetype I haven't really seen before. It's executed just fine, but I think there just isn't as much spice to him as many other characters.
Speaking of spice, I think Eren is the definition of spice. Everything he does contributes to making situations and struggles more complicated and to never keep the story in a status quo.
I can see not liking or just being sad or angry about where Eren's character went, but I too find his character journey endlessly fascinating. In the end he ends up being selfish in a selfless way where he would give anything for his friends to live.
He doesn't do this only for himself or to feel better about himself or anything like that. He truly wants everyone he cares about to be safe, but he's also single-minded and only has limited knowledge to go off of; he is willing to destroy literally everyone else just for everyone he loves to be okay and get their long lives.
He is being selfless to the point of being self-destructive, but on a pretty limited scale.
I've seen the read around that in the end he is just being selfish all around and is confused on what he actually wants, but I think his love and concern are honest.
I think him being purely selfish would remove all of the complexity from this situation just as much as him being purely selfless.
I think a lot of people are mindscrewed by the idea that someone would do something so horrible for selfless reasons, which is why all of those simple reads exist and I think this will forever be the best aspect of post-ts Eren to me.
People can do horrible things for very honest and selfless reasons. They don't have to lie to themselves. They don't have to have some kind of complex webbing of delusions.
Eren just wanted to save Paradis from being razed to the ground because that's where he grew up and where his friends live, too.
In fact, I think everyone does this. In an emergency people are not going to be concerned with people they care about less. They will generally go looking and helping those they care about the most: family or friends or even just ourselves. Stuff like the story with Kaya's mom does happen.
I think this aspect of human nature is just blown up to a massive scale for the purposes of this narrative with Eren and other moments in the story (like Reiner running when Marcel dies, too, for example). Eren did a pretty great thing for his friends by giving them their life back. I think anyone would be grateful. This is why we have the second half of the chapter highlighting the bad parts of what he did and sort of bringing things back to Earth.
Thank you for the ask!
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sigmaaegoniii · 8 months ago
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See You Later, Eren
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With all the time travel shenanigans lately we still have not got an explanation for the first scene in the manga, despite these chapters having already been connected to the present day (to you, 2000 years from now, from you, 2000 years ago). Due to the structure of the final arc paralelling the first arc, I believe that the meaning of Mikasa’s words will be revealed in either the final chapter, or the penultimate chapters leading up to the final. In other words these are Mikasa’s first words to Eren in the manga, and they will also be her last. Because these are the words she’ll say to him right after she kills him. 
EXPLANATION UNDER THE CUT.
Keep reading
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sigmaaegoniii · 8 months ago
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It is really sad how Eren treats his friends. They are very supportive and see him through the tough situations yet he is cold and manipulative towards them.
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How Eren treats his friends is one of the most interesting aspects of his character. He always makes it clear how much he loves his friends, but at the same time very confused by the idea that they might love him. He wants to love others, but he doesn’t want to be loved. 
It reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite books, Zaregoto Volume 2: Strangulation Romanticist. 
Hers was an all-embracing love. Unwavering, undiluted affection. If I killed a person directly, she would probably forgive me even then. She would love me all the same. To me, that love was just a little too heavy.  I could feel it crushing me. That wide open devotion. It wasn’t that I couldn’t feel affection towards others. It was that I couldn’t receive affection from others. No matter how much adoration Mikoko-chan showed towards me, all I could respond with was disdain for a murderer. No matter how much her feelings for me had inspired her actions, all I could see was another homicide. 
And thus I was damaged goods. And thus I was a human failure. 
Basically, the protagonist of the story is unable to accept other people’s love for him because he’s unable to see himself as a person fundamentally worthy for love, so whatever their feelings are towards him he rejects them all. Eren feels things for other people, but he rejects other’s feelings towards him and that’s why a lot of his relationships break down. I’ll elaborate more under the cut. 
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So, it starts with the mother (as it often does). “Because I was Born into this World” is a phrase Eren’s entire character revolves around. It’s a statement of unconditional love. A parent should love a child because they were born as their child, that’s enough, that love doesn’t have to be earned. It’s a simple and warm statement. 
Unconditional love is something that Eren wants, but also he can’t really comprehend or even accept because he doesn’t feel like he’s earned it. Eren fixates on his mother, and more specifically the trauma of losing his mother. 
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His mother loves him unconditionally, however, Eren wasn’t able to do anything for his mother. He wasn’t able to protect her and watched helplessly as she tied. Eren had unconditional love for most of his formative years yes, but it was also taken away from him suddenly when he was a child in a situation he had no control over. Ever since that, every single relationship Eren ahs formed with toher people has been an insecure attachment. 
In basic terms, insecure attachment is a relationship style where the bond is contaminated by fear. This is expressed mainly as reluctance in the relationship and other mixed emotions, such as dependence and rejection. Most psychologists believe that insecure attachment is formed in early childhood.
In developmental psychology the basic theory is that the way children first form connections with their parents will inform them on how all other relationships after that point are made. Those who have a secure attachment know how to make healthy connections with other, while those who are insecure will continue to show unhealthy behaviors later on in life. 
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Eren had a secure attachment, and he lost it in a situation outside of his control. That stunted his growth, and ability to form all other relationships past that point. Yes, Eren still had some ungrateful behavior towards Armin and Mikasa when he was younger and his mother was still alive, but those behaviors are things he could have grown past if he was raised in a healthy environment. Instead, he lost his home, all security, and was raised as a child soldier instead. 
This has been a paradox in Eren’s character for a long time. Unlike people like Reiner, unlike Zeke, or even Historia, Eren has unconditinoal love surrounding him coming from Armin and Mikasa. He has two people who would trust him. He still had a home even after losing his initial home. 
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Zeke can’t comprehend why Eren who has all of these things, all fo the things Zeke has wanted his entire life, in both childhood and his adolescence is unable to accept any of them. Why he would choose to throw them all away and fight instead? Once again, it comes to Eren’s image of himself. 
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Eren doesn’t see himself as a good person. He doesn’t see himself as worthy of love. That’s why even though he wants to share a family with Mikasa, and share a dream with Armin he ends up rejecting both of them because he sees himself as too inferior to accept any of their feelings. He’s too insecure about himself to form any kind of attachment. 
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It returns to his mother because that was the starting point of his trauma. It’s not that he’s been the same ever since he was born. He’s just never been able to grow and cope properly with the loss of his mother. Ever since losing her, his every other relationship has been characterized by fear of this loss. He’s so paralyzed by fear of losing people he can’t allow himself to get close to people, and that’s where the insecurity comes from. This doublethink statement. Eren wants a mother’s love, but Eren sees himself as a bad person unworthy of a mother’s love. 
This is a paradox that informs every one of his actions. Eren loves his friends. Eren doesn’t want to be loved back. There is also an element to control about this. Eren can control his own feelings, but can’t control other people’s feelings. 
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Eren can understand himself. He can understand his own love. He can understand that he would die for Mikasa, and he knows his own feelings towards Armin as well. However, he doesn’t really get why either of them would ever like him. 
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Eren is told right to his face that Mikasa loves him, and his response is to brush it off. It doesn’t matter because Eren can’t experience that love. Not only can he not accept it, but he also is going to die regardless. He doesn’t really understand other people’s feelings, and when he is confronted with those feelings he finds himself unworthy of them. He’s always seen himself as inferior to both Mikasa and Armin. He genuinely doesn’t understand why Mikasa would follow him around.
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He’s always seen Armin as someone different and better than him, because Armin can care about things besides violence. He’s driven by more than just hatred. 
Which is why Eren eventually cuts off both relationships to him. One he was never able to accept their feelings for him in the first place. Two, it’s about control. If Eren is the one to break the relationships then he is still in control. He’s not abandoned, because he is the one who chose to terminate the relationships. Everything Eren does is out of his fear of losing people, but also of losing people in uncontrolled circumstances. 
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If Eren is the one who is cutting them off, if Eren is the one who breaks the connection then that’s different somehow. That’s different to Eren at least. Once again it goes back to the idea of insecure attachment. There’s a reason that Eren’s description of freedom just sounds like being alone. Eren can’t accept other people’s feelings for him. Which is why he’ll often choose to do these things entirely on his own, because trying to deal with other people is too difficult for him. It’s easier for him to be alone. He doesn’t feel security from a single one of his attachments. 
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It is once again a child’s idea of forming relationships. He wants everyone to agree with him, and when they don’t he wants them to leave him alone. He can’t handle conflict and either pushes them away or goes off to sulk on his own. He wants the bad things, and the conflicts to just disappear by closing his eyes and coveing his ears. His own feelings for other people matter, but he doesn’t really comprehend other peopel’s feelings for him. Eren views his relationships in a very immature and stunted way, and doesn’t really want to grow past that. A fully developed person is capable of having secure relationships where they can accept other people’s feelings even if they lead to conflict. 
Utlimately, the disconnect between Eren and his friends post-timeskip comes from the fact that all of Eren’s other friends are struggling in their own ways to grow up, and grow past who they once were. Whereas, Eren wants to remain the same ever since he was a child. He wants to cling to his and Armin’s childish dream that the world is completely empty and open for them to explore. 
Which is why unless Eren makes a major change fast in the way he connects to other people he’s going to be alone. If Eren’s mother told him he deserves to “live in this world” simply by being born, then dying alone would be the opposite of what his mother wanted for him. But it’s a road he’s quickly speeding down. 
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sigmaaegoniii · 8 months ago
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sad how eren and historia were characters both shown to defy how their genders are 'supposed' to act by eren being outright emotional and historia not being a helpless little girl, only for them to act the opposite, though it's not much as apparent in eren, it is with historia as she is how most women are in the past by getting pregnant and barely even showing or saying something throughout
but really if you think about it eren and historia parallel each other in ways; they are both used by their father, they're told to play a part; be a man (eren) and being ladylike (historia), and in the castes au they're literally emotionless and indifferent most of the time, contemplating their lives and not to mention people don't like them in their canon ships (that could be excluded but yeah), and their talk in chapter 54 or sum, eren trying to give historia a purpose to keep going and telling her that he knows what it feels like, because he really knows what it feels like to feel purposeless and not give a flying fuck, till armin brought up the ocean and shit
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sigmaaegoniii · 8 months ago
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I will defend them with my life
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sigmaaegoniii · 8 months ago
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The rumbling started because Reiner said "no" : (
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sigmaaegoniii · 8 months ago
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I’ve been screaming on Twitter all day because Hajime Ysayama FINALLY revealed the canon timeskip looks for Ymir and Bertholdt! And I’m blown away by their hairstyles! Ymir’s is unusual but it looks so good on her and Betholdt has a mullet?!🥹💜
I love her looks so much AAAH💜 lol I am kinda proud🙈
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