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girls only want me for my wingspan and beautiful plumage

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when ur fave tries to act innocent but u know theyre problematic @ heart

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It’s a marvelous thing, the ocean. For some reason when two people sit together looking out at it, they stop caring whether they talk or stay silent. You never get tired of watching it. And no matter how rough the waves get, you’re never bothered by the noise the water makes by the commotion of the surface - it never seems too loud, or too wild.

Banana Yoshimoto, Goodbye Tsugumi (via landscape-photo-graphy)

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me: *has an emotion*

me: 

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Nao could feel tears dripping onto him, but he looked off into nothing. He was vaguely reminded of the times the staff at his old high school in Okinawa had reprimanded him... yelled at him after he had skipped too many classes. He had looked off into the distance and let all their words wash over him like water. However... unlike then, Nao’s reasons now had resulted in failure. As much as he tried to let Mayumi’s sobbing words roll off his back... Nao knew that there was weight to them that he needed to consider... and maybe even a sliver of truth or two contained in there.

He sighed through his nose and his eyes flicked down to where Mayumi held her hand over his. He lifted and twisted his hand just enough to cradle Mayumi’s and gently stroke the skin on the top of her hand with his thumb.

“You have a right... to feel hatred towards me. No, you deserve to feel that way... I can’t tell you how sorry I am that my efforts just ended up hurting you all in the end. I expect... I’ll never be able to make up for it...”

Finally, his eyes drifted upwards to meet Mayumi’s face again. His voice grew even softer.

“But you said you wanted me to... To do what...exactly...?”

Post-Game | Nao | Breakfast Surprise [ATTN: Mayumi]

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And that was the first time Nao Tamashiro had ever been slapped in the face. He gasped and his hand that had been resting on Mayumi’s hand withdrew to cradle his reddening cheek. With arms like that, she sure gave a hell of a slap. His eyes widened in shock and his cheek still stung painfully from the strike. When he slowly brought his face to face upwards again, he saw the tears streaming down Mayumi’s face.

He’d really done it now. But what else could he have done? And... that question. That question was leaving him with a complete blank in his mind. His cheek still stung, and she was crying, and she was demanding an answer... And he had to answer. But how to answer...? He shouldn’t lie... Soon, enough time went by that Nao knew he had to say something, so his lips just started moving, trying to explain himself without thinking out his words beforehand.

“I... I don’t know... People always talk about that, but I... don’t know... if I know what that means... Some things... I know they mean a lot to me... But most of the time they’re bigger than one person. I wanted to help everyone. If I could use our small group to help everyone in the world, I would have done it. That means something to me... That feels important. B-But I failed... none of that matters now. All that you went through... would have been worth it to me if I succeeded, but I didn’t.”

Both of his hands grabbed the wrist that was holding down the chest, but he wasn’t squeezing. He was... holding on. His head lifted off the ground slightly.

“That’s why I’ve been trying to hide from you all. All of this was for nothing. I made all of you suffer... for nothing. I already did so much damage I never wanted to do... the least I can do is have as little of a presence in your lives as possible. If you talk to me, demand things like this, it’ll only hurt you. I... don’t want that. I want to make people feel good. I... wanted to leave this world with less suffering than there was when I entered. But I’ve only brought in more... And now I’m making you cry... I didn’t want this, Hanezuka-san, I didn’t...”

His face strained slightly with emotion and his head fell back against the floor again. Nao closed his eyes and sighed.

“Maybe... that’s not entirely true... what I said about meaning... I spent so much of my life alone, and I was fine with that. I would see people upset because of these attachments they held with other people, and I didn’t understand... I didn’t want to understand... because I didn’t want to feel the pain they were feeling... I knew I had no choice but to feel attached to my mother that way, but I could choose to have everyone else not ‘mean’ much to me. But now... after all this... there are more people I... One person in particular I...... Some cruel irony that I would start feeling these ‘meaningful attachments’ right when everything’s in ruins...”

His hands slowly slipped away from Mayumi’s wrist as if they had gone limp. Nao’s eyes slowly drifted open, but now he looked very tired.

Post-Game | Nao | Breakfast Surprise [ATTN: Mayumi]

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Mayumi... Mayumi looked upset. As she very well deserved to be. Was she going to cry...? Nao began to feel an aching in his chest that wasn’t from any physical force Mayumi had applied. He was doing exactly what he didn’t want to do... He was causing those around him even more pain. This was why he wanted to withdraw from everyone in the first place. His eyebrows scrunched together in sad concern... sympathy? Did he have the right to even pretend to feel such a thing?

“Of course you did.”

His voice was softer.

“You were our Class Representative... from the very beginning, you were getting to know everyone, and you were trying to make sure we all did our best. Of course you had friends. There was always... a certain level of stress and nervousness since the situation out there in the world was so precarious... but within the school’s walls, many of us still spent our school days in peace. I think many people found their own kind of happiness, including you. And when we were working together on the dome... You all felt less danger. There was a bright hope to look forward to because of the future the hunter and the bard promised... and we did not have to worry about school, either. It was then, I think, everyone grew the closest to each other. And you... you worked harder than almost anyone else I can think of... to help build this place.”

His hand gently covered her own that was pressed against his chest. He gave a soft chuckle.

“You worked so hard to ‘set me straight’... I never had the chance to say... I’m sorry I was so contrary... You wanted me to attend class and bring up my grades... You would force me into these study sessions... And you were so sure you were making progress with me. I would just humor you and nod along... I started attending more classes, but to make up for that I would schedule my massage appointments during the time you wanted me to use for homework instead... I still gave up my schoolwork for massage appointments, and you were none the wiser... But you tried so hard, I know... I’m sorry...”

Post-Game | Nao | Breakfast Surprise [ATTN: Mayumi]

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huner wasn’t able to send in an ask so here’s a star for kezao!

★ = -2/5

“It’s a little hard to explain since we never had the chance to discuss it--or even the desire to, I fear--but Tsujii-kun concerns me.”

Things weren't so bad at first. Kezao gave everybody muffins and they were delicious. Nao had some reason to be worried about Kezao since he was one of the only people who was aware of his pistol... but then things started to fall apart during the last two chapters.

Obviously, Nao and Kezao kind of mentally butted heads over the problem of Airi after Shuu died. Nao was concerned that Kezao was in control of the situation concerning the dungeon keys, since he was the one who was in charge of them. It was clear from his behavior that he was close to Shuu, and so he felt like an extremely biased party to have anything to do with Airi’s fate, since it was basically Airi’s fault that Shuu died. Furthermore, Nao thought he saw signs that Kezao was being spiteful about the situation, but of course Airi took matters in her own hands and escaped before he could explore any more of that.

In the next trial, Kezao’s vote thrown right in Chitose’s direction convinced Nao that he actually was a spiteful person, and this made him dislike Kezao, and even consider him dangerous. (I know, dangerous? What a hypocrite.) This is because Nao sees things like spite to willfully spread suffering in the world, instead of trying to overcome it or stop it. 

So, after seeing Kezao as such, he had absolutely no qualms in attempting to push the mastermind blame on him when he saw the opportunity. He knew he was going to get voted anyway, but still.

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Nao grunted when Mayumi slammed a hand into his shoulder, and then his eyes widened slightly when he looked back up at her. That look in his eyes... that wasn’t fear. Maybe he was more... surprised? Shocked? But why would he be? What, he thought everyone would just accept their situations or something?

“I...”

His voice shook slightly, so he swallowed and took a deep breath before trying again.

“I don’t know... When you started attending Hope’s Peak, your family was fine. I know the shop they ran had looters and suffered some damage, but your family was fine... And as far as I knew they were still pulling through when the riots intensified... you did agree to escape with us to Tohoku, after all. But now... No. I have no idea... How could I...? I was asleep for seven years with the rest of you... I have no idea what’s going on outside right now. Didn’t I make that... abundantly clear...?”

Right, who could forget that time when Nao shot a man in the fucking head.

Post-Game | Nao | Breakfast Surprise [ATTN: Mayumi]

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She... wanted to know about that? Nao blinked up at her expressionlessly. Honestly, he didn’t know what else to tell her. But at least, after all that had happened, he no longer had any reason to lie.

“I did not personally take your memories away. I’m simply a masseur. But I do know what sort of memories were supposed to be erased, and judging from all of your behavior it seems as though those scientists did a thorough job.”

Nao’s gaze drifted up to the ceiling. Maybe he was just trying to recall specifics.

“You do not remember your time in Hope’s Peak Academy, but you probably do remember traveling there... and perhaps even heading through its gates before your memories stop. That was to put you all on the same page, more or less. That had practically already become procedure for the Collective for these games, and I had no objections. By extension, you don’t remember any friendships or experiences you had at the school. You don’t remember how Matsushita-san and Nonaka-kun convinced us all to leave or how we all ran from the school or our long trip north to the site where the dome was to be built. We split off into these two groups to help build the castle and lodge sides, but there was no wall back then, so we could visit each other when we wished. Quite a few months passed... we were at the dome site longer than we were all together at school. Then we were put to sleep. You were all kept unconscious when your memories were removed.”

His eyes flicked back down to meet Mayumi’s again.

“What I understand was more difficult was erasing any trace of Doctrina Artifice’s television broadcast and the riots that followed. If those memories did remain, you would be too suspicious about your situation. You would assume already that you were being held by Doctrina Artifice or the Collective. You could unite against an enemy under a name you already knew, and already knowing what ‘crimes’ they had already committed. There would be less confusion, and that would probably affect the data poorly, since you all would be less vulnerable as well. So, each of your memory excisions were personalized. Each of you were affected by the broadcast and riots differently, whether it was severely or not at all. You, for example... You lived in Tokyo, did you not? Right near the Academy, at that? When the riots began, that’s where it was the worst. Though things had calmed down by the time we entered the school, you would have lived through the chaos at the beginning. It’s probable that false memories of normalcy were created for you to replace the large gaps left behind from several months of riots before we started classes.”

Really, he wasn’t telling her anything new from what he had said before. He was just going into more detail.

Post-Game | Nao | Breakfast Surprise [ATTN: Mayumi]

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a really old Doodle or Die drawing that i forgot to share with everyone

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★ bruh

★ = 2/5

“I think that trampoline was intended to be for you. Thank you, anyway, it was enjoyable.”

mousse i think we could TALK A LOT MORE ABOUT THIS… But they probably hung out predespair, right? They’re both chill dudes! And maybe Setsuga did have the opportunity to take Nao snowboarding (though Nao’s cold tolerance suck rest in pieces fucker). Nao would’ve definitely offered him massages, too, since that can be super beneficial to athletes.

No matter how much fun they had before Setsuga got his memory wiped, Setsuga probably sticks out in Nao’s mind right now because Setsuga was Keita’s best friend. Keita volunteered to have his memories related to Setsuga erased while all the other kids were getting their minds wiped, and so Nao was probably pretty surprised about that at the time. But postgame, Nao realizes how close he feels to Keita, so he’s probably curious about what kind of friendship Keita and Setsuga had that prompted that mind wipe. And he’s probably curious if they’ll reunite somehow… THOUGH HE’S… PROBABLY NOT GOING TO ACTUALLY TELL THEM THAT THEY USED TO KNOW EACH OTHER WTF NAO. 

As for in the game, Setsuga died really early and Nao was kinda disappointed they didn’t get to bro more. B^[ Not too torn up, of course. People are supposed to die in this game he set up.

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★ B)c

★ = 1/5

“Hmm… I’m glad everyone who stayed survived the explosion. Yano wouldn’t remember me, but that’s probably for the best. I shouldn’t have undue influence on any of them anymore.”

So I think we worked out at some point that Iori and Nao probably had casual sex while they were in school. Like, a lot of it. They weren’t in school for terribly long, though, and they were probably separated most of the time they were working on the dome before they lost their memories. On the other hand, during that time, Nao and Iori were probably sleeping together right under Keita’s nose while Nao was pretending to date him. Whoops!!!!

Despite being very different people, Nao and Iori probably agreed about certain stuff on a fundamental level… But on the other hand, Nao’s probably terrible for Iori like he’s terrible for everyone else, so maybe it’s a good thing that Iori doesn’t remember him. And Nao’s okay with that. There might have times that they felt good together, but Nao doesn’t think back on that kind of stuff much at all, since he’s usually living either in the moment or the future. Nao doesn’t feel any attachment to Iori, but he does feel happy for them in that they survived that explosion, and they appear to have found people that make them happy.

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★ B^]

★ = 0/5 (note, this is a neutral score)

“…Hmm….”

Surprise! Nao’s opinion on Chisato iiiiis… not feeling strongly one way or the other!

I have no idea what their relationship might’ve been like predespair, but Nao probably felt a little more nervous/wary around Chisato than the other students because, as you can see on his app, Nao was guilty of trading sexual favors on a corporate level before he even got invited to Hope’s Peak and that’s pretty white collar crime-y. But he wouldn’t have been too weird about it. In fact, he probably acted more nicely and generously to Chisato than usual.

But, ah yes, the first person Nao talked to when this all began. Nao faked helping her out figure out the technology stuff in the castle and made her a homecooked Okinawa dinner. They didn’t talk much after the very beginning, though… :’( 

And, no, Nao doesn’t feel negatively about Chisato for her actions during the last chapter, either! …The story’s different for Noboru and Kezao, but his opinion of Chisato was brought down to a more neutral level. He doesn’t feel very strongly about her either way. If anything, he found her anger towards him kind of amusing. (IMAGINE IF CHISAT ACTUALLY TRIED TO SHANK HIM THO OMG THIS WOULD BE DIFFERENT PROBABLY…) 

But yeah. If you wanted a big reaction out of him during your victory, Chisat… it’s not gonna happen… rip… He knew he was going to be voted Mastermind that week anyway. He was just putting up a fight to spread more negativity where he could instead of letting everyone unite in a strong triumphant campaign of confidence.