shsl-magic-boy-blog - Tumblr blog

[shsl-magic-boy-blog]

its too late for us dead kids but please free everyone whos left

FREE THEM 2K14

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here have an arvid after chapter 4

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probably how this murder went down

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just in case anyone is wondering just what happened in the hot spring. this is it. this is exactly it.

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i was talking to eleanor about how michio would feel about being dead and idk it just kind of happened

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Michio didn't seem to be affected by Haru's response, nodding when he announced he had to get something and sitting patiently as he waited for him to come back. Haru began talking before Michio even had a chance to, but that didn't seem to bother him one bit either- nor did the notebook bother him, though he was curious about what it was. The rapid questions were no problem for him to answer, because really, he could talk forever.

"Well, I mean, like I said, it was tragic of course, so it was definitely a sad thing that happened, but...what's the point in being upset? Why be upset when you know it's for the best? I'm just trying to look on the bright sie here! Being upset isn't going to get me anywhere! Oh, I'm not sure what could make me upset...I'd like to believe that there's no situation without some kind of bright side! Well...okay..." His smile wavered for a moment as he recalled his conversation with Hisato earlier. "It's not like I'm immune to all negative emotions or something, but I just try to distract myself from them and not think about them! Negativity never got anyone anywhere, and it isn't going to start now! But to talk about something now that would cause that...well, that would be kind of counterproductive, don't you think? And I guess...the suggestion that it's suppressing emotions, that isn't really accurate! I'm not really suppressing anything, I'm just not feeling anything long enough to express it!"

Shrugging off the last bit of what Haru said, he laughed as well. "Don't worry about it! I love answering questions!"

Michio || Friendship and Unity || Outside > Arcade || ATTN: Haru

  Upon hearing the response, Haru sat for a few moments of complete silence with a totally plain expression, just looking at Michio with his chin resting on his hands. He then quite suddenly stood up, and said in a neutral voice:

"…Do you mind if I run to my room and get something for a moment?"

He left before Michio could respond, and then returned a few moments later and plopped back down in the same spot, now armed with a small notebook and pen. Flipping open to a new page and scribbling Case Study: Michio Shibata, Haru began to rapidly talk with a new fervour.

"So your view is that fate controls our actions, and therefore our friends’ death should not be upsetting? Can you give me an example of a stimulus to which you would respond with a negative emotion - or do you feel that nothing can upset you? Would you say this is a natural process, or perhaps a deliberate suppression of emotional responses on your part? And how does that suggestion make you feel?”

Looking back up at Michio, Haru stopped talking abruptly, touched his hair, and laughed awkwardly, going back to his slow, calm pace.

"…I am so sorry. That was far too many questions at once, Shibata-san, and I did not respond in a conversational manner. My scientific curiosity got the better of me for a moment."

Despite his apology, he did not actually take back any of his questions, peering at the other boy with a keen, interested eye.

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Oh, he was considering saying that. It was certainly something that he believed. But he wouldn't forget that quickly the promise that he had made, so we'll have to save that trainwreck of a conversation for another day. Not talking about fate...Michio thought he could do that. He could try, at least, if it was for a friend. He could definitely watch what he said to make sure it didn't come up as much, if not at all. 

Now having completely recovered from before, and thankfully being able to erase the memory from his mind completely, Michio was back to enjoying the conversation he and Hisato were having. Even if Hisato most likely didn't feel the same. And you're correct, what Hisato said did go completely unnoticed by Michio, though fortunately, he slipped the wand back into his pocket anyways.

"I doubt that I'll regret it, no matter what happens! I know you must be a great person, even if you pretend like you don't care about anything! Now...painkillers...no, I don't have any of those. Do you want to look for some? Oh, we could go on an adventure to find them! Wouldn't that be fun? I promise I'd try veeeeery hard not to be annoying!"

Hisato || Perish Song || RE: Execution, Michio

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So...apparently there wasn't going to be a game played yet. That was fine, Michio was definitely fine with sitting down and talking. Haru seemed like he would certainly be fun to talk to. After glancing quickly at one of the machines again, he took a seat next as prompted.

Oh, so that was what this was all about? Of course, Michio didn't expect Haru to understand- nobody ever really did, not until he explained it. He dismissed Haru's concern with the slight wave of his hand, laughing a bit as he responded.

"Of course I'm doing great! There's nothing to be upset about, after all! So, maybe that execution was just the slightest bit more than what he deserved, and maaaybe he didn't entirely deserve to die- he wasn't a murderer, not really. But it was just what was meant to happen! Just like Sasa Anai was meant to die as she did! It's fate, you see, controlling everything, making sure that the rest of us get the endings we're meant to have! Both of their deaths, they might have been sad at first, but those are just two things that had to happen in order to lead the rest of us closer to our happy ending!" 

...So, Haru. What do you make of that?

Michio || Friendship and Unity || Outside > Arcade || ATTN: Haru

  The smile that now lit up Michio’s face was startling, and Haru hesitated before answering.

"That’s right, my name is Haru Ikezawa. And I do believe the machines are in working order, if you were hoping for a game. That was my intent in coming here, but.."

He searched the blond’s face, before quickly sitting down on the floor with neatly folded knees and patting the spot next to him.

"I ask because I have to wonder what prompted your response to Shunsen-san’s death. I am by no means condemning you - it’s well known that in unbelievable or tragic situations, sometimes laughter bubbles up when it is least appropriate. But… are you really doing ‘great’, Shibata-san? There’s no shame in admitting you’re upset. We all are. Come, sit down and we’ll talk.”

Haru wrapped his fingers around his ponytail absent-mindedly, twisting and untwisting it as he considered Michio. What was hiding here? Why were this boy’s emotional responses so radically different from the expected? Inappropriate emotions were a common warning sign of schizophrenia, but if Michio had the disorder he had hid it well so far. So Michio was keen to make friends - Haru was happy to oblige, and observe. 

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Michio turned immediately at the sound of someone approaching, a smile already on his face (though he very well knew it could have been an attacker, of course). It took him a moment to recognize who it was, trying to place a name to the face so that he could greet them back, but soon enough it came to him.

"Haru! You're Haru, right? That's what I remember from the trial before! Hello, yes, I'd love to play a game!" He looked at one of the machines curiously. "Do you think these work? I haven't tried any of them yet. Oh, I really hope they work! That would be so much fun!"

He froze at the next question he was asked, pausing for a moment in confusion before looking back at Haru. "No, I'm fine! Things might have gotten a liiiittle crazy before, but I'm doing great! Why do you ask?"

Michio || Friendship and Unity || Outside > Arcade || ATTN: Haru

  Haru left Midori and strolled towards the arcade deep in thought, even as the night grew blacker. Her assertion that nobody could be trusted no matter how hard he tried… would that really prove to be true?

In any case, he might try his hand at one of the retro games provided, even though he knew that bright artificial screen lights were not at all conducive to a good night’s rest - justifying it by thinking that at least these simple platform games were good brain exercises. 

Pushing open the door, however, he found the room already occupied. The comparatively small blond in the room looked quite the surreal sight as he turned to meet Haru’s eyes, enveloped in his starry cape, looking pale and ethereal in the darkness.

Haru raised a hand in greeting with a friendly smile to show he meant no harm.

"Hello there, Shibata-san. I hope I didn’t alarm you. Up for a spot of gaming before you sleep as well?" 

He didn’t make mention of the awful thing they had recently witnessed that might be keeping a lot of them up - in part because after having witnessed Michio’s strange bark of laughter when Seigetsu died, Haru had no idea what might happen if he broached the topic. He then frowned, catching a look in the magician’s light eyes.

"…Is anything the matter?"

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By the time Hisato had finished again, Michio had more or less recovered. Though most of the reason for it was forcing himself to think about absolutely anything else, as well as reminding himself that No, it wasn't all bad, it meant something, it definitely meant something, until he managed to stop himself from shaking so much, and he could smile as brightly and genuinely as before. No, his broken spirit wasn't permanent, not yet. And it would take more than just one conversation, a few words, to make it that way.

No matter what Michio said, Hisato didn't seem to change his opinions- and for the first time since they'd met, Michio considered the fact that maybe that was alright. For the moment, at least. Oh, no, he wouldn't stop trying to get him to believe in magic. That much was never going to happen. But agreeing to not talk about fate as much, for the sake of another? He could manage that. He could definitely manage that.

"Agreed! But if I could just say one more thing on the subject and let that be the end of it? When we first spoke, you asked why I decided to spend time talking to you. At the time I said I liked your hair, which was definitely true, but there was another reason.." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a plastic wand, then proceeding to take a step back and point it directly at Hisato's face. "You might not believe it, but something brought us both here. Call it what you will, Hisato- fate, destiny, but something, definitely something."

He paused for a moment, and then, with a small laugh, pretended to tap Hisato on the head with the wand- careful not to actually let it touch him, figuring that he was the sort of person he wouldn't appreciate that. "So I have made the decision to trust you, and to be your friend!"

He pulled the wand back towards him, holding it in front of him with both ends in each of his hands. "So no, there's really no way to ward me off! You're just going to have to put up with it! Don't worry though, I'll try not to annoy you too much, I'll really, really try!"

Hisato || Perish Song || RE: Execution, Michio

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Michio || Friendship and Unity || Outside > Arcade || ATTN: Haru

Well, now that all that was over and done with, Michio figured it was about time he did a bit more exploring. No matter how much he looked around, it would never feel like enough- there was still so much to find out, so many things to see! So once his rather…unpleasant…conversation with Hisato ended, he was off, bounding in no particular direction with two goals in mind- first and most obviously, explore! And second…try to get his mind off of the conversation he’d just had.

Which really didn’t prove to be too difficult at all, once he really tried. The area that he’d ended up in, what was it, the arcade? It was easy to get his mind off of things in there. He spent quite some time just looking around, with no real goal in mind. Just looking around was enough for him. The events of before had been more or less forgotten, for the moment, at least. However, immersed as he was in looking around the arcade, there was no way he would fail to notice someone entering the room. That is, if anyone did…

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Really, it didn't matter what Hisato did in terms of comfort- Michio simply couldn't be helped at this point, no matter what. He wouldn't have responded well to anything Hisato could have done, it was really nothing personal that he continued to remain in exactly the same state. For once, he couldn't seem to be able to say anything- forcing himself explain himself before, that had worn him out, and he knew that if he tried to speak again he would only break down. And he wasn't going to let that happen. So he was silent, completely silent, both while Hisato spoke and for a good few minutes afterwards.

Finally, he was able to respond. "There's nothing to be angry or sad about. It all means something, Hisato, it's all working towards some bigger picture. Every event, every life, every death, it all means something. Not a single person in this world lives or dies without a purpose. So there's not a reason for any negative feelings. Not any reason at all." Sure. That's why you're practically falling to pieces right in front of him.

That small smile of his grew just slightly and he took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself down enough to stop shaking. "You might not want any friends, and I guess that I can't do anything about that, but I want to be your friend. I really do. I wouldn't even talk about fate stuff that much if it annoys you, promise! So even though you might not want a friend now...whenever you do, if it ever happens, I'll be around! And I'm sorry that you've been told you're going to die- even though I still don't believe it's true- but remember that no matter what happens, your life means something in the end!"

Hisato || Perish Song || RE: Execution, Michio

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Congratulations, Hisato. You've successfully managed to break his spirit, at least for this conversation. Tearing down his beliefs wasn't enough for you? You just had to bring up the guns? Thanks Hisato. Thanks. Yes, Michio's joy was gone again, only this time it didn't seem like it was coming back right away like it had before. No, he was past that now. All he was doing anymore was trying to focus on anything but those words, again and again. 

What must Hisato think of him now? Without a doubt, it was something insulting. He must be thinking now more than ever that Michio is crazy, Michio is an idiot, what's Michio doing now? He owed an explanation. And as long as his mind was stuck on this damn event, he was going to give one. Whether Hisato cared or not.

"Before today, had you ever watched someone die, Hisato? Had you ever had someone die right in front of you, so close that it easily could have been you?" More than just his hands were shaking now, his entire body trembling slightly as he forced himself to continue. "Because I have. I have, and it's something part of me still wishes had never happened. But it was fate. That's what it must have been. Why else would it have happened?" All he could do was stare at Hisato as he spoke, no smile coming to him as much as he tried. "We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, that's what people said. Everything that happened, it was just an accident. A stray bullet that happened to be shot just as we passed by- if one thing had happened a second earlier or later, it all could have been avoided. But that wasn't how it was supposed to happen. It was supposed to happen exactly as it did- my mother was shot. And she was killed. And that was that. It was unfair, and I didn't like it at first, but..." He finally managed a small smile. "It was meant to be, right? She didn't die for nothing. It meant something. Her death meant something."

Hisato || Perish Song || RE: Execution, Michio

[shsl-magic-boy-blog]

nah

please free michio shibata 

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For once, Michio thought it was best to stay silent until Hisato had completely finished speaking. Nothing that he was saying made any sense at all, and most of it only came closer and closer to crushing Michio's spirit completely. So, he figured that if he waited until the other was done, he would be able to really think over how he should respond in a way that would result in the least amount of hostility coming back at him. He listended carefully, not taking his focus off of Hisato's words for even a moment, and finally-

Wait.

...What did he just say?

"...Huh? Anyone could..."

Anyone could...what...?

Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Wasn't that what he always told himself? Don't think about it. Don't ever think about it again. He fought to ignore that slight wave of dizziness that came over him as he tried to process exactly what those words had been, what those words had meant, what they meant to him. Again, his hands were shaking, and his smile didn't even stand a chance of remaining in place no matter how hard he tried. Why was it that even now, just the idea, just the words, affected him like they did?

"Yes," he said, trying his best to keep his voice cheerful even though his face clearly said otherwise. "Yes, of course. Whatever happens happens. If I die, if I get shot in the head-" His voice nearly broke has he tried to get the words out himself, but he managed to keep it more or less together. "Then I won't fight it. I won't have a choice. Because fate stops for no one. It didn't stop for my mother and it certainly won't stop for me. It doesn't matter who I trust. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen." After a short pause, his smile returned, though it seemed to be just slightly forced. "I just try to make the best of it all."

Hisato || Perish Song || RE: Execution, Michio

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since im not on skype today, im bored out of my mind with pretty much nothing to do, so i decided to put a playlist on michio's blog. half of these songs are jokes. enjoy.

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Michio had never really been mad at anyone before. Partly because he would never let himself, and also because he simply never saw reason to be very mad about anything- looking on the bright side all the time, he always managed to find a reason not to be mad. And even now, he wasn't mad at Hisato. However, he was finding it increasingly difficult to find a bright side, and truth be told, he was bordering on being ever so slightly annoyed.

"Then what exactly are you trying to say? If you aren't going to argue, then why act as if anything is wrong with what I said? If you know it's true as well, why act like you don't?" He shook his head slightly, still not looking at Hisato. "It's almost like you're trying to start an argument- if that's the case, you must like talking to me, huh?" A short, quiet laugh followed those words, though it was silenced almost immediately.

Hisato's anger truly didn't make any sense to Michio- he was only trying to help, so why did their conversation remain so...hostile? That was never his intention. It was never supposed to come to this. And now, here he was, having everything he believed in ripped to pieces right in front of him. Being called crazy, being called an idiot, even though he'd said those words just then himself, having it confirmed by someone who didn't even have the right to do so, who didn't deserve to say anything that he had said without knowing the reason why, it was enough to just...

But Michio wouldn't let himself get angry. There was no reason to. Hisato wasn't at fault for his ignorance. He didn't know, that was all. He didn't know. He wasn't expected to. And as much as Michio wanted to be able to tell him, he had to take his own advice- don't dwell on the past. Don't think about upsetting things. Don't ever, ever think about it.

Again, he realized that his hands were shaking, this time even more than before. He clasped them together in front of him to try to stop them, which didn't help entirely, but it did something, and he stared right back at Hisato afterwards with the smile somehow still in place. "I'm sorry that you think that way about me. I'm sorry that the fact that I have something to believe in upsets you. I'm sorry that fate has been so unfair to you, and I'm sorry that because of that, you can't continue living in a way that makes your life worthwhile."

For a moment, he froze. The smile slid off his face completely, he said nothing else, he didn't move at all. Even the shaking of his hands stopped suddenly. And for that single moment, he just stood there like that. 

And then, he smiled again. Even wider and definitely much more genuine than before, finally seeming to focus back on Hisato and looking pretty much just the same as he did before the conversation even happened. It was like a switch had flicked inside of him, he'd suddenly gone from whatever was going on before right back to this.

Hisato just got more and more confusing every time he opened his mouth. Did he not want a friend? What kind of person didn't want a friend? That didn't make any sense at all. "I consider you a friend because I consider everyone my friend. You don't need to give any sort of indication. We've talked once before, so how can we not be friends? I won't try to force you to enjoy anything, and I definitely won't tell anyone about anything you said! I promise!"

Hisato || Perish Song || RE: Execution, Michio