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NO KASHMIRI ONLY KASHMIR
Another life has been lost in Kashmir and it would be wrong to say that this is the tragedy of the times. It was always like this, every time and everywhere that there has been a life taking confrontation it has always been judged in light of on which side one chooses to stand.
In the Kashmir of this death neither the grieving village people nor the petulant army personnel would like to term it as another life lost. To each side, this dead body too, has an identity not limited by the age, name and calendar date of its creation. The body is dead for a reason and it is in this that both sides achieve accord. The reason on both sides of the killer bullet is the same - the body is dead because when alive it was Kashmiri.
A retired Infantry General of the Indian Army, on an evening discussion on News TV, said that Infantry soldiers are trained to kill. The General said that soldiers do not shoot at the feet or over their enemies head - they shoot AT the head. He also added that the infantry soldier is not equipped with some 'stupid lathi' but with a gun and he knows how to use it. The General's views were naturally his own and though he had commanded Infantry regiments and divisions in the past he is now safely retired. The man in charge, infantry et all, is General Bipin Rawat UYSM, AVSM, YSM, SM, VSM the 27th Chief of Army Staff of the Indian Army.
In all fairness to the gun that fired the killer bullet and the finger that depressed the offending trigger, the COAS General Rawat had quite some months back thoughtfully issued a warning to every living body in Kashmir about the risk that they ran if they stooped to pick a stone. The Chief had told the restive men of Kashmir that for all they knew they might be stooping to their death.
This warning was issued in February 2017, almost a year ago, so everyone must have had time to mull over the consequences of ignoring General Rawat of the Indian Army. Under the awning of this belligerent warning, the refrain of every patriotic Indian is that the body in question, in Kashmir, deserves to be dead. The enemy population in the valley had been justifiably warned and the killing had to be done by an Army retreating in self defence.
For those who in their mud stained firans gather once again to mourn yet another death there is an acceptance that this body too is dead because this is Kashmir. This is how things are in Kashmir, the land is coveted - the people rejected. The expectation is so ingrained over the naturalness of this sequence that it does not elicit the query of a why.
The Kashmiri in the valley is divided from the rest of India because of their religio-ethnicity and joined by land both consider their own. The Indian sees Kashmir as part of India but not necessarily the Muslim Kashmiri as an Indian. The Muslim Kashmiri feels that they have their inalienable right over Kashmir in absolute rejection of anybody else wanting it to be part of anything collective.
If Kashmir were just land, with nobody on it, there might not be an issue because everyone, it seems, wants the land - not the compromises that come with it. One more day in Kashmir and the reason for the divide keeps mounting, one dead body at a time, when the time is one of peace.
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Nirmala's Big Day
It was a big day for Nirmala. After a long time she was going out of the house ... they were taking her to the new Mall. Nirmala was not well...she had not been keeping well for a long time. Most days she felt lethargic, the Doctor said it was in her mind but in her heart she knew that she had grown old. The cataracts in her eyes made the world distant. Nirmala spoke very little nowadays...today she was silently fussing with the ear rings that she had been almost forced to wear.
It was Maya who broke the silence at the dining table... “Ma, you are looking nice I am telling you, and anyways who do you think is going to notice what ear rings you are wearing...nobody is bothered...nobody has the time... and I think they are a perfect match for your saree...” Nirmala did not hear the undertone...” For heavens sake don’t cry...I can’t stand people wallowing in self-pity’”
The others at the table heard her alright but both knew better than to open their mouth. Gautam cleared his throat and invited an angry glare from Maya. “Umm...I think we should get going” he said lamely.
“So what can I do - am I the one holding everyone up?” That was Maya
“Umm...when did I say that, don’t just jump up and bite people’s heads off. All I said was we are getting late and we should be starting...” He had got into the habit of beginning everything with a Umm.
Before Gautam could complete, Pramod said...” In that case I think I will quickly go to the bathroom...you never know...”
Maya looked at her father and Gautam lowered his hackles because from experience he knew that the moment of confrontation had passed.
“Why?” asked Maya... “Why do you need to go the bathroom? Didn’t you go just 10 minutes ago, and what about those clean big bathrooms at the mall, who are they for? If you have too you can go there...did anyone ever stop you fro...”
“See what I have been living with for the past 45 years” This time it was Nirmala who interrupted.
It was 3:30 PM and the weak winter sun was desperately trying to get in through the twin windows behind Maya. Inside the room it was all gloomy and hazy...to Nirmala Maya was a greyish-black form. Gautam was wearing yellow. Pramod took off his big jacket to go to the bathroom. He had a full sweater, a half sweater and waist coat underneath.
Travelling on the auto-rickshaw, Gautam felt the chilly breeze on his balding head. He had forgotten to bring his cap. Sitting beside the driver with his knees jutting out at an angle, Gautam looked ahead. Maya sat with her parents occupying the back seat of the auto rickshaw. The rear engine ones made a nice purring sound.
“Are you feeling cold? Wrap your muffler properly around your ears and Ma put your hands inside your shawl – I don’t want to hear your sniffles later on”
Gautam smile to himself...he knew his Maya...harsh words that always meant well. She was a dictator no doubt but benevolent...very benevolent. Maya had always been a rebel and to her whatever everybody else thought had to be wrong till she said it wasn’t. That was the attitude she had held all her life and that was why she had Gautam. She picked him and everyone said no, so she knew they were wrong and Gautam stayed. It was all convoluted logic for Gautam but he wasn’t complaining. Many years ago Nirmala used to tell Maya to stop being a confrontationist, her health used to be better then. Like Father like daughter she used to tell Gautam in those early days.
Gautam readjusted on the small auto drivers’ seat...the man smelt of cigarette. Gautam had not had a smoke in a long time. He quit because Maya did not like the smell of stale tobacco. Auto Rickshaws were funny creations...the windshield was glass but on both sides the triangular side shields were plastic.
Maya could see Gautam’s reflection on the side view mirror. He always had this half pout when he was disturbed. This was expected, Gautam always pouted whenever they visited her parents.
“Why don’t you own up...why can’t you say out loud that you don’t like my parents?” Maya had confronted Gautam with this question so many times and all she ever got was the denial. “I have told you long back and I don’t mind telling you everyday...I don’t like your parents” Gautam would give her that hurt puppy look and reply “ But I do... your mother can be irritating sometimes but that doesn’t mean I don’t like her... and your father and I get along so well...you have seen that yourself. So why do you persist in getting me to say – I don’t like them” To which Maya would invariably reply that she persisted because she knew what Gautam did not want to know...that deep in his subconscious he did not want to like them but he had to because if he didn’t that would somehow be a betrayal of the bond that he shared with Maya.
So many times...over so many years; It was almost like a ritual now, early on she would sometimes doubt herself...but as the years went by she began to be more firm in what she believed. Sitting in the auto rickshaw, between her aged parents, Maya spoke her mind to herself – “come on look at his pout and you know that he is upset and why wouldn’t he be. My parents aren’t the easiest people to like.”
Pramod trailed behind the others. He acted as if he was looking around – which he was. But he was looking out for a specific thing. He had to known where the toilets were.
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I Peed In My Pants
The first time I saw a steam locomotive I peed in my pants. But that was like ages ago and I can not be held responsible for my actions. My sisters – both elder still rib me about it – and this happened like a quarter century ago. My sisters are both married and do not live close by. But sms and Facebook and email have ensured that long distance sibling ribbing can continue with no visual or audio contact. For the cheapskates they are it also helps that Facebook is free. From across oceans and continents they infiltrate the world of my friends and friends of friends and make my innocent baby pee the subject of inter-continental mirth.
China had the right idea when they discouraged the concept of siblings. Look how they have prospered. Theoretically billions of Chinese peed in their pants as Steam Locomotives shunted their way across their vast land. And they did not have to spend their life playing down an event that is not even their in memory. The Chinese concentrated on other issues like economics and science and sending Chinese to the moon.
But here generations upon generations of siblings counted the years away devising tricks and strategies on how to embarrass that other who committed the indiscretion of getting in and out of your mother’s womb. Parents with much hope married the girls away...bright and brilliant grooms were found who were expected to take them away. They did but then the digital revolution caught up with us. And to think that all this globalisation and liberalisation and the growing of technology...all of it was conspired to keep alive the stink of my innocent piss that marked the passing of a long dead steam locomotive.
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My Reflection
Many moments ago, I saw my reflection…it was tea that was raising miniscule waves in my cup…pure Darjeeling…no milk…no sugar. Produit de l’Inde... it had said on the box...
How did they know that the line that meanders away into the hills brings back visions of absolute unhindered Freedom?
For one hundred and fifty years Freedom was Tea...settlers came...planters made their fortune and India remained segregated between those who had dreams and those who dared not.....
My childhood
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PINGLU UNDER THE TREE
Sammy the detective pig was walking to the station when he met Hula Hula the monkey and Pinglu the elephant.
Hula Hula was swinging from a tree branch and Pinglu was sitting in the shade wearing sun glasses.
“Hoy! Sammy where are you going?” asked Hula Hula
“There is a big meeting of all detectives taking place in the city so I am going there.” Replied Sammy
Pinglu put his sunglasses on his forehead and said “Last year I went to the city. It was very crowded but you get lovely apple juice”
Hula Hula asked Sammy “Hoy! Sammy, will you get to drink apple juice at the big meeting?”
”I don’t know, I will tell you when I get back. Now I have to rush or I will miss my train” said Sammy as he rushed towards the station.
“Bye Sammy” said Hula Hula starting to swing again.
“Bye Sammy” said Pinglu putting his sunglasses back over his eyes.
A little later Lipp the tortoise came down the road. He was walking very fast and did not see Hula Hula swinging in the air above.
Jumping down, right in front of Lipp Hula Hula asked. “Hoy Lipp where are you going?”
A startled Lipp quickly withdrew all his feet and head inside his shell.
After a little while Lipp poked his head out to see what was happening. Hula Hula thought it was very funny and started laughing.
Lipp got very angry and coming fully out his shell said “I am very upset you naughty monkey. First you startle me and now you are laughing”
Hula Hula was sad that Lipp was angry. He said” I am sorry Lipp; I did not mean to startle you. But where are you off to in such a hurry”
Lipp, looking all important, picked himself up on his two hind feet and said “My cousin Lopp and his friend Gula are coming on a visit; I was going to the station to meet them”
From under the shade, Pinglu put his sunglasses on his forehead and said” Last summer my friend had come on a visit. We had loads of fun. We had a picnic”
Hula Hula looked at Lipp and asked “Hoy! Lipp, will you have a picnic”
Lipp was already rushing off and he said over his shoulder “Yes, maybe we will have one because I know Lopp loves picnics but I don’t know about Gula.”
“Bye Lipp” said Hula Hula starting to swing again.
“Bye Lipp” said Pinglu putting his sunglasses back over his eyes.
Hula Hula picked a different branch to swing on...and Pinglu began dozing when suddenly Ubuntu came running backwards and bumped hard into the tree.
An old nest fell on Pinglu’s head and stayed there like a crown. Hula Hula fell down from his branch and said “Hoy Ubuntu!”
Ubuntu trying to get back his breath and looking very sorry said “Sorry”
Still sitting on the ground Hula Hula asked “Hoy! Ubuntu why were you running backwards? Couldn’t you see where you were going?”
Ubuntu was still panting and he said” I was playing catch with myself and so was looking back to see if I could see myself”
Pinglu put his sunglasses on his head and said” Playing catch is boring. Last Sunday I played catch with Squick...but he was very quick and I could not catch him”
Hula Hula said” Hoy! Ubuntu why were you playing catch with yourself?”
Ubuntu sat down on his haunches and taking a hand fan from his pocket began fanning himself.
He said” What can I do? Sammy was supposed to play with me but then he had to go to the city”
“Hoy! I can play with you. I love playing catch...so catch me if you can” saying which Hula Hula ran away
“Bye Hula Hula” said Pinglu putting his sunglasses back over his eyes.
“Bye Hula Hula” said Ubuntu starting to feel drowsy.
Ubuntu and Pinglu sat side by using the tree trunk as a back rest and soon fell asleep.
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SAMMY THE DETECTIVE PIG
Sammy the detective pig was dozing in an arm chair in his front garden. He was dreaming of sitting in the park and licking a big ice dolly.
Suddenly his friend Ubuntu the rhino came thumping in through the front gate. He seemed very agitated.
Trying to wake Sammy up Ubuntu pushed him a bit too hard and Sammy fell down from his arm chair.
“Ouch!” said Sammy the Detective
“Sorry Sammy but I need your help NOW’ said Ubuntu
Then Sammy got another chair for Ubuntu but Ubuntu was a big rhino and could not fit into the chair. So he stood under the oak tree and told Sammy the story of the missing grass.
Ubuntu told Sammy that he had gone to his secret favourite field in search of lunch. But when he reached there he saw that some one had stolen all the grass and only 3 eucalyptus trees were left.
Huffing and puffing Ubuntu had run all the way to find Sammy the detective pig.
“Sammy – can you find out who stole my lunch grass?” asked Ubuntu
“Hmmmm! This is very serious...come show me the field” said Sammy
Ubuntu led Sammy to his secret favourite grass field...and on the way Sammy asked him some important questions.
Crossing the bridge over little stream Sammy asked “When did you last see the field full of grass”
“Uhhh! Yesterday afternoon” said Ubuntu scratching his head
Walking by big wall Sammy asked “Did you tell anyone about the secret field full of grass”
“Uhhh! No...but last evening after football I did mention I had a secret favourite grass field” answered Ubuntu
Passing blue pond by the yellow tree Sammy the detective pig asked “Hmmmmm! Who all were there when you said this?
“There was Pinglu the Elephant, Hula Hula the monkey, Squick the fat goat and Lipp the tortoise” said Ubuntu
Passing the mud patch Sammy the detective pig bent down and looked at the tracks in the mud. He took out a magnifying glass from his pocket and looked closely.
Then he made Ubuntu lift his hoof and looked at it with his magnifying glass.
“Ah Ha!” Said Sammy
“What? What?” Asked Ubuntu
But Sammy was already rushing down the path, eye on his magnifying glass and face close to the ground. Slipping and sliding in the mud Ubuntu went after Sammy
Turning a corner which was hidden by a big bush Ubuntu bumped hard into Sammy.
“Ouch” Said Sammy as he skidded to a side
“Sorry Sammy I couldn’t see you” Said Ubuntu who was sitting in the mud
“I know who stole your grass” Said Sammy the detective pig, getting up and dusting himself.
“Tell me...tell me” said Ubuntu jumping up and down in excitement
“I will show you who the thief is” Said Sammy and he took his magnifying glass and walking up the path he went to a clear patch.
Ubuntu followed
“See there – there are only two sets of paw prints going up the road....that is your paw print...and this is the paw print of the thief”
Ubuntu looked from one paw print to the other...then he looked at his own hoofs to check
Through the magnifying glass he saw his big rhino paw print and then on the side he saw paw marks that were much smaller.
“But whose are they?” asked Ubuntu
“Wait - Let me check in my Diary of Paw prints’ said Sammy as he took out the book from his coat pocket.
Ubuntu stood behind Sammy the detective pig and looked as Sammy checked the paw prints given in the book with the one on the road
“Here – this is yours – it says RHINOCEROS...and this is the one we are looking for” Said Sammy as he turned a page
“Let me see...let me see” said Ubuntu and in his excitement bumped into Sammy
“Ouch!” said Sammy giving Ubuntu a very cross look
“Sorry Sammy” Said Ubuntu looking down at the ground
“OK – look at this...this is an exact match and the caption says GOAT” Sammy put the Diary of Paw prints down on the road beside the small paw prints there.
Ubuntu looked at the Diary and looked at the paw print and scratched his head...and said “They do not look the same to me...one is pointing this way and the other is pointing that way”
“Uf Ho silly” said Sammy and turned the diary so that the paw picture pointed in the same direction as the print.
“Yes...yes...they are the same” said Ubuntu jumping up and down in excitement again.
Sammy quickly jumped aside before Ubuntu could bump him again.
“But which goat is it? How will we find out who?” asked Ubuntu
“I think I know which goat it is” said Sammy as put the diary in his left pocket the magnifying glass in his right pocket
“Follow me” said Sammy as he rushed down the path.
Ubuntu followed
Sammy and Ubuntu reached a hut in front of which there was a sign board which said
MR SQUICK
GOAT
As they reached they saw Dr. Harry Hare with his stethoscope around his neck coming out of the hut.
“What’s up Dr. Hare everything all right?” asked Sammy
“Tsk! Tsk! A very bad dose of indigestion I must say...you know Mr. Squick somehow has eaten so much grass that he is in much discomfort.” Said Dr. Hare shaking his head
As they were talking they saw Squick peeping out of the window.
“So will he be alright soon?” Asked Ubuntu
“I have told him he can’t eat anything for at least 7 days and I have given him a very bitter medicine that will clean up his stomach” said Dr. Hare as he went away
“I think Squick has got his punishment for stealing your grass” said Sammy stopping Ubuntu from going into Squick’s house. A very scared looking Squick was still peeping from behind the window curtain.
“Come Ubuntu, lets go home and have a lemonade I am feeling very thirsty...” said Sammy pulling Ubuntu away
Sipping lemonade in Sammy’s house Ubuntu asked “Uh! Sammy how did you know it was Squick”
“Simple” said Sammy “You told me there were four animals who had heard you talk about the secret grass field and when I saw the goat paw prints I knew it must have been Squick the fat goat who went and ate all your grass”
“You are the best detective pig” said a very pleased Ubuntu
“Thank you...thank you” said Sammy as he took up his glass to take a sip of his lemonade
Ubuntu chose just that moment to pat Sammy on the back in praise. All the lemonade spilled on Sammy’s pants
“Ouch!” said Sammy
“Sorry” said Ubuntu
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