I'm not a writer, but I write a lot. just to keep my sanity and to hide it all from those that don't need to know how crazy I have it.
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March 3, 2019 @927
Wow, so tumblr we haven't spoken in more than a year. and you already know when we're here it’s because something either went wrong or right, and today it’s both. Updates, I went back to school, to study Early Childhood Development in hopes of becoming a pre-school or 2nd grade teacher... teacher in general. Well we tried again and it was going really well in the beginning of that semester, but then I got busy and neglected the most important assignments that really cost me my passing grade... so we’re on a break again. school isn't my thing, but then again it would open more opportunities...idk, I lost my grant because of that semester and now if I want to go back I really pay the full price.. darn you higher education. I got married. Remember AJ, I've stuck with him since, and now we’re about 5 months.. married. lol no kids right now, I have mixed feelings about it. So far AJ has been so patient with me.. yeah he’s still with me even if I screamed and kick and said things I regret, he’s still here for me even when I've hurt him tumblr... How could I be selfish to this man, he’s given me love and kindness.. First year of marriage is said to be the hardest, it’s very true. I’ve already felt upset with the in-laws, I’ve gotten separation anxiety, I’ve felt restricted, I felt feelings of depression and sometimes I don't want to exist. I know it’s not fair but my feelings get out of hand and I just owe it to AJ for getting me up every morning despite all the negativity I give myself. I love you babe. <3 I managed to land myself an office job, writing this I’m at it the office right now because there is really nothing to do here for now, and then when I don't come in the most important events I manage to get the lawyers I work for to miss. I honestly don't get it though, I work for a company that is mostly in my home island, I’m at the island that more city like and they branched out here. In there office they share it with two other lawyers and because my original bosses aren't on island I work for the lawyers that are. He’s great sometimes, his name is Chuck, but sometimes I can’t tell how he feels about things, This rant is about him, he is very disorganized! I calendar his meetings and hearings and I don't know what he does with his time but I know as a secretary I work to remind him of dates, but just yesterday he missed a Scheduling Conference, I know if you read his reply to me you’d think that no he’s not getting mad at you he’s just telling you why did he miss his meeting, But yeah I blame him because I put it on his calendar but apparently I have to hold his hand to make sure he goes. Geez, my job is baby sitting.... ugh but I have to be grateful and respectful no matter what because I want to stick as long as I can in this job.. Oh well.. mistakes come and go and I can’t change them.. don't you just hate that... There’s your update Tumblr... til next time I’m bored again, this has been an episode of Sheena Rants ..
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July 25, 2017
Hey! Totally need a major update here! For more than the past two weeks I’ve been greatly busy! Busy with life and busy with social life and emotionally I'm doing great hahaha who am I?
So school has ended, but I'm still at the same coffee shop that I usually go to. The Infusion with the second floor, I don't really get the same thing here, so I am I regular, but what I get isn't regular so to say.
Okay so like school has been done for like 10 days now. BUT okay tumblr you’re the only one who will know this.... okay here is goes... I failed my first class in college.. ask me what class I was taking..! KEY-FREAKING-BOARDING-&-DOCUMENT PROCESSING... It’s like a 4th grade typing class... I failed!!!!! I needed 5 more lessons.. but I was soo busy being out that week that I didn’t think it’ll make a difference in my overall grade because I went to most class days.... UGH SHEENA! you barely passed with a 63%.... F! failed.
Did I tell you I got baptized???? well I am!!!!! Great news for that!, but I did notice some things that Satan has already thrown at me.. Is my heart that weak? HUGE UPDATE, I'm dating AJ! so we made it public! I talked to my parents about it and then they were really skeptic about it but at the same time I know that they know that I'm old enough to be dating. So It’s getting around that we’re dating and it’s a really awesome thing that for the first time that I've ever dated someone that I don't have to hide anything!!! Super awesome thing, if your could meet him tumblr you’d love him as much as I do, I think I can love him more than more can be.
MAJOR UPDATE ON THAT!
but well he’s here now and so I have to talk to him because well I love talking to him!
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June 21, 2017 @1030
SOOOOO BIG NEWS TO ME AND EVERYONE I HOLD DEARLY! IM QUALIFIED FOR BAPTISM!!! This is only the beginning I know, but I’m already so excited for it! I called Ryan first as promised, but he didn’t pick up. I called Cesiah, but she didn’t pick up the first time either! Ya’ll here I am with exciting news and for the first time you aren’t online lol. So I called Ateh Men Men, for sure she helped me become more active with the love she has shown me, to take me into her wing before Baby Emma. All those years and struggles and laughs with her can never be replaced! She said she was proud of me and to keep it up, and really that's all I need to hear! And lastly I called AJ, because he wasn’t feeling well that meeting night and I just want him to be a part of this all! Not that I like crazy love him and need him to know everything I do and what makes me happy, but I just I just well I wanted to make him, well okay yeah, when I get excited now a days I want him to know about it too.. and that's real feelings right there. lol
Also in the events of last night I had my first stage appearance! wasn't my talk but someone elses and since they couldn't make it then well it became a voluntary talk, and it was the 6m one! BROOOO. if you heard me reading those scriptures man were they long and breath taking LOL. so pats on your back sheena, keep it up, may your love for Jehovah grow ever stronger babe :*
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June 14, 2017 @1101
OKAY THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED, HELLO WORLD. I TOLD HIM THAT I LIKED HIM AND HE SAYS THAT HE LIKES ME BACK TOO. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION???? MAYBE FALL HARDER IDK.
so I talked to Kim, and then I talked to Damali.. This whole thing going on with AJ, I already felt the denial I had when they asked if there was anything going on between us, who knew that talking about it to them made me realize that I'm in a deeper rut than I thought. That I'm in too deep. that idk I don’t feel like I want anything to ruin all of this. SO I gently brought it out on our late night McDonalds run, how if anyone has been asking him about me, and then I told him that ive already had quite a few wondering. SO ARE WE DATING AJ OR NOT, yes we are. SO HERES WHERE MY HEART JUST EXPLODES, so I didn't expect him to act the way he did. I thought hed be as confused as i am, but no! dude he was so composed, or well to me he was!! to be sooooo understanding and apologetic about people questioning me and what not, and he was very calm about it. HE WAS EVEN FEELING BAD FOR ME. what the heck are you, amazing?? YEAH? making me fall harder because of the great personality you have? YEAHH??! why am I so fortunate to come upon such a beautiful being.?????? so weve decided that well we got this and if were going to do this were going to do this the right way. the way Jehovah wants us to, no secrets. we need to control ourselves even more. I already went through my second baptism interview, and I'm stoked, but ofcourse its up to Jehovah and those taking the lead to know where my stand point is in the congregation.IM SCARED AND EXCITED BUT I CANT SAY MUCH ABOUT IT UNTIL I GET A CONFIRMATION YOU KNOW. So AJ, were really doing this huh? we got this right? we got this Guam. PS to self, I know you cant help but smile whenever you see him, but I hope you don't look crazy and weird in a real life. you think you look okay but darn do your eyes and feelings light up when he smiles back.! first day without communication. hu hu, its for our own good.
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June 13, 2017 @112
Guess who’s watching too much The Office. It’s a wedding episode and I'm upset that Jim is still with Karen, and he didn't dance with Pam. Also, I'm too tired to do any more typing homework, it's like Mavis Beacon and its annoying how it's not what in thought college was going to be so I guess if you want to know how it's like to college. Here’s one thing. You pay $600 some for a 4th grade class. aw poo, my phone died.
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June 12, 2017 @1049
So I talked to Kim about you. I told her that I guess that ive fallen deeper than ive expected to. More than I wanted to right now.
It's just every time I'm with you, I get so relaxed. I find it so easy to talk to you, you’re a listener and not only that you’ve experienced so many things that I've experienced too and when we share our stories they’re so honest and funny. Tell me how can I not love you harder. Love? already? lol oh sheena. but really that's all I want from you, your kindness and sweetness. MY HEART JUST GOES SO IN AW WHEN YOU LOOK DOWN AND DENY THE FUNNY THINGS YOU DID. YOURE SO CUTE. I WANT YOU TO STOP IT BUT IT’S JUST SO ADORABLE. WHY AJ. but I'm gonna be honest, I need to work on myself.. before I could continue to see you in my future. will you work on yourself too? what damali told me, and helped me to understand, that right now, we’re both single, that means Jehovah is our head. We go to him straight when making decisions. The perfect Jehovah, The Sovereign ruler is my head as I am single. as youre single AJ.. So the question is, am I ready to have an imperfect man as my head? I do feel crazy about all of this. it’s so ugh.. brb praying.
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June 04, 2017 @104
Just documenting this that at 00:49 he spelled my name right on WhatsApp. LOL Shenna-Sheena. G-double O-D J-O-B good job good job. ha you’re so cute. k nighterz...
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June 03, 2017 @1011
You know that feeling when the person you notice finally notices you back? It’s nice isn't it? They want to suddenly talk to you a lot, and you’re pretty skeptical about it so you don't respond within seconds just to make sure that they aren’t playing interest with you. BUT soon enough you’re feeling okay. You’re comfortable and you start to reply to them within seconds of their response. How do you feel? You keep thinking that the conversations are endless! Right? Well, people are imperfect and they do become busy. They start to reply less. and with that you don't even get a “Good Morning” text anymore. When you do talk, it doesn't end with “Good Night” because you just both fall asleep. How do you feel now? Stupid and Hurt. Well baby girl you got to keep that chin up, give them time. Because you’re probably just overreacting. peace out.
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