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No i didn't "forget to pack a toothbrush and a phone charger" its called on site procurement. Solid snake does it too

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My brother asked me how I can handle the spicy Korean instant ramen and I was like oh I just don’t use the whole flavor packet and he just could not comprehend the concept

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shoutout to when i worked at an extremely poorly managed farm and my boss texted me only “get pig” and wouldn’t respond to attempts to reach him

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apartment. i’m at my apartment

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"Congratulations on Level 5, [Wizard]! You've officially been upgraded from 'liability' to 'glass cannon'!"

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I think in the same way there's a 90/10 rule with horror and comedy (horror works best when it's 90% horror and 10% comedy and vice versa) there's a 90/10 rule for some relationships in fiction that's like. Wholesome and fucked up. A good friendship is at its most compelling when it's also 10% a bit fucked up. Fucked up relationship is at its most compelling when there's at least 10% of something actually sweet and substantive within. Do you get me

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This blog has been telling you not to trust pelicans for over a decade and this is why

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Whale Law II

It is illegal to hunt whales in Oklahoma. Oklahoma is landlocked...or so the CIA would have us believe.

Wake up comrades, forget flat Earth. Wet Oklahoma with its abundance of secret whales is the true conspiracy theory we must all get behind.

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Whale Law

I could be the Charlie Kelly of Whale Law. Other areas of law, they are hard to understand. For some reason, Whale Law is easy. It makes so much sense on a fundamental level.

If I say I'm born in the wrong generation, it isn't for some stupid reason. It is because whaling is no longer the biggest industry in the world and I cannot make a billion dollars doing whale law.

Now though I can become a poor whale protection lawyer which is still cool but I'd have to probably take cases about things OTHER than whales. Cod just don't hit as hard as whales ya know?

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Average TTRPG Experience

Player: I want **this** things

GM: Ok, here ya go!

Player: *Does the opposite of that thing and doesn't touch it.*

Also Player: Hey GM, we never get **this** thing. Why?

We're all dogs barking at our own reflection thinking there's someone else. There is nobody else. We're that dog.

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Sin vs JFC

Number one predictor for how a player first vibed to the High God of Sin: how Christian was your family?

Very Christian: SIN IS SO EVIL. He is not right in the head. We have to destroy him!

Not Christian: SIN IS SO HOT. He makes me not right in the head. We have to keep him around.

They turned my darling boy into Hades. Just like Hades, the traditional Christian notion of Sin rises up and bitch slaps the guy. In most religions, there isn't this traditional Christian conception of Sin. It's actually kinda weird. But people don't know that's weird and thinks its normal when it is NOT.

Just like how death and the underworld isn't necessarily bad (Hades), to sin (breaking divine law) isn't necessarily bad. It is a chance to learn and grow which is a part of life in many cultures. You are going to make mistakes and transgress which is like...part of the whole process.

Hades wasn't forcing anybody to die and Sin wasn't forcing anybody to transgress. They only manage the process and the results.

Fuck I wish the Church didn't take out the books where Jesus was a bratty kid and an absolute trickster god. Maybe we'd have a better understanding of sin and its role in life.

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Judges Should Play D&D

Two words are keeping the legal system from falling apart: reasonable person. We all keep assuming there's a reasonable person. As an experienced DM, even the most reasonable person will let two or three war crimes slide (WHICH IS TOO MANY).

We gotta sit Chief Justice John Roberts down and have him play Curse of Strahd at a local LGS. We'd have judicial reform so quickly...

Roberts: Get rid of Roe v. Wade? NO! These bitches will fuck anything including a dragon. Privacy rights? A must. We cannot let the D&D planning group chat leak or we're all going to the Hague.