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i have classes for 12 hours straight so you guys can have this instead 💔💔💔

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you could go back but there is nothing and no one waiting for you there. LOL

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me: *trying to take my socks off but they keep getting stuck on my heel* oh fuck. goddamnit.

the extractor fan in a bathroom in Norway that has an intrinsic link to my spirit: *momentarily whirs louder*

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Do not go gentle into that good knight. He likes to be fucked much harder than that.

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Did you guys ever see the car that got into an accident with a truck carrying hagfish

Can you even imagine being this person. Imagine you call your insurance and tell them you got in an accident. They ask what happened and you have to tell them your car got fucking hagfished

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me: [typing post that says "i just remembered i never beat off"]

me, internal: watch out! you say "beat off" here to mean masturbation. However, the phrase "beat off" could also refer to completing a playthrough of "off", the 2008 rpg video game by mortis ghost! without context, it would appear you were talking about bideo games!

me: whoa….id better be more careful!

gigantic centipede above me: [grows a foot longer]

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Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

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lol i tricked you i actually have no soul or interiority. my actions are merely a hollow imitation of a complete being. and you totally fell for it too

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French royalist newspaper progressively freaking out as Napoleon gets closer to Paris

So I don't know if it is a true story but it is hilarious. In his Impressions de Voyage, Alexandre Dumas (who also wrote The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo) recolls reading a few years ago the royalist (and so) anti-Napoleon newspaper Le Moniteur. Every day, he notes the changing tone of headlines as Napoleon, who fled from the island of Elba, approaches Paris :

The cannibal left his lair

The Corsican Ogre has just reached Golfe-Juan

The tiger has arrived at Gap

The monster spent the night in Grenoble

The tyrant has crossed Lyon

The usurper was seen sixty leagues from the capital

Bonaparte is advancing at great strides but will never enter Paris

Napoleon will be under our ramparts tomorrow

The Emperor arrived at Fontainebleau

His Imperial and Royal Majesty arrived yesterday in his Tuileries castle among his loyal subjects

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i should be kissing girls……………..

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twinning

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will e-pistulae happen again? no pressure ofc i just really enjoyed getting my emails from cicero

it will! letters from 58 bce will start in march and cover the period of + immediately after cicero’s exile. and i am considering repeating the 44-43 bce letters again in the future too :D

the thing is. i originally picked 45-43 bce because it has the highest concentration of letters and so would be consistently interesting. i’m not sure i would repeat 45 bce because i wasn’t translating those letters myself yet, and i am doing that now, and i don’t want to do it for 45 because They Are Long. i’m now doing 58-57 because it has a good narrative arc and there are only like 40 letters over that period. and once ive done that, i can never get the two sequences to join up because a) it would take 15 years in real time, b) i don’t have time to translate 15 years worth of letters???, and c) 46 bce was 445 days long and cannot be mapped onto the length of a modern year

anyway. yes e-pistulae will return, soon, and clodius will be there ‼️

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in my map reading final exam back in like 2015 we had to do an indoor portion where we figured out the location of our professor on a topographical map and then we had to go out into the national forest with the map & compass and actually locate him to pass. like he was just standing out in the forest and it was pass-or-fail, find him or don’t.

we went in pairs so i was hiking through the woods with this guy who’d been in my class all semester but we didn’t talk much but now ofc we got to chatting, being in the woods and all.

and he told me he’d just moved from a city on the other side of the state and i was like “oh that’s funny i just moved from there too!” we talked a little more and within two minutes determined we didn’t just move from the same city, but had in fact been working at the same petsmart for over a year, at the same time, but he worked in the dog hotel and i worked in the grooming salon so we never met. months, 40 yards from each other, separated by two walls, and we never had a conversation.

and now we were in a national forest together following a map looking for a guy named Ron. what the hell.

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has anyone online ever played a video game. i'm considering getting into them