shit-i-overheard
Funny Quotes
358 posts
I hear people say some weird shit. I keep track of my favorites.
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shit-i-overheard 10 hours ago
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"As a mother I never thought I would find myself encouraging my son to play with acid, but here we are."
- Jana K.
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shit-i-overheard 12 days ago
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"Wherever you go, there you will be."
- On a random whiteboard at work
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shit-i-overheard 14 days ago
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"It's a theatre, nothing is truly straight here."
- Kyler K.
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shit-i-overheard 15 days ago
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*Holds up gallon of vinegar* "I found it!"
- Jana K.
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shit-i-overheard 15 days ago
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"Stop putting your finger in my hole."
- Stranger at a play
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shit-i-overheard 21 days ago
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"But Ryan's too nice to say no. Me, I'm a bitch"
- Belle S.
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shit-i-overheard 21 days ago
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Corey M: "I'll pay you in cookies"聽聽聽聽聽
Belle S: "No, I'm not a Keebler elf"
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shit-i-overheard 29 days ago
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"You're gonna have to go home to your mother and tell her that you got your ass whooped by an 80 year old man."
- Marty R.
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shit-i-overheard 30 days ago
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"If I get taken out by a man named Professor Plum, maybe I deserve to die."
- Jenna M.
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shit-i-overheard 1 month ago
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"Satan roasted the fuck out of me."
- Sophia D.
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shit-i-overheard 1 month ago
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"They鈥檙e really cool and I want to show you but at the same time, they鈥檙e my nudes."
- Lucy S.
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shit-i-overheard 1 month ago
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"We don't card."
- Ashley D.
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shit-i-overheard 1 month ago
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"Okay, but all your costumes have pants and sleeves and mine is this corset which is basically glorified underwear."
- Belle S.
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shit-i-overheard 1 month ago
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"You pants fucker."
- Corey M.
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shit-i-overheard 1 month ago
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"So we've learned that she doesn't have a fight or flight response, she just has a possum response."
- Corey M.
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shit-i-overheard 1 month ago
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"We'll be the fellowship of the bayou."
- Alec L.
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shit-i-overheard 1 month ago
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"Another day another slay."
- Alec L.
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