shirlantis

[shirlantis]

Home, Almost Sweet Home

So since the last time I’ve written, I’ve bought my first home - probably my biggest accomplishment since graduating from college. And it still stands true - “home is where the heart is”, and my heart is still in NJ, because my mom and sister are still there. My father is living with me, helping me fix up the house, which is still pretty empty. As much as I love having my dad to come home to, I miss my sister and my mom, and it feels like I’m not complete. 

This change has given me time to reevaluate how sacrifice, teamwork, and family are intertwined. It means so much more now that half of us are here and half of us are there. When it was just me here, I had my life here and my parents had their life in NJ. Now that my father’s here, responsibilities have shifted and my mom and sister have had to step up, while my father has, in a way, stepped to the side to come help me. And to me, that’s beautiful and I am so grateful l that we can adjust so well depending on the needs of the family. To be honest, the night before my father flew to TX with me, I wasn’t sure if this was the right move for my family - separating us, because I felt selfish, knowing that his life and his loves are in NJ. But, as a family we decided that this was a good move for all of us, and that after some time, we would eventually all be together again. 

Technology has made it so easy for us to “see” each other everyday. I call my mom and sister when my dad and I are having dinner, so it kind of feels like we’re all together, and we talk about our day - what happened at work, the latest gossip, our next move. 

I’m not much of a cook, but I’ve picked up a number of recipes from Pinterest, so you can holla at ya gurl Chef Shirls. My father also surprises me with breakfast and a packed lunch when I’m running late for work, and it’s the cutest thing and literally fills my heart with joy! When I come home, he’s usually climbed onto something, fixing something under the car, or somewhere outside of the house fixing something. 

The house is looking great! And I really missed doing things with my dad. We road tripped from NJ to TX in his van (you guys know the famous van - the one that would pick us up from school in 6th grade with the big ass TV in it and we’d watch music videos that I recorded on VHS, the one that took us to Boston for the SHPE regional conference aka SHPEmobile). We managed to magically fill every inch of that car - two beds and their frames, a lawnmower, china cabinet, dining room table and 6 chairs, all the little Colombian houses that my mom had in her living room, lamps, paintings, and a bunch of my dad’s tools.

Pretty much this: 

Just kidding! I forgot my guitar.

This is what it looked like:

So now that I have some furniture, my house is starting to feel a little more like my home. 

It sure has been an adventure with it’s ups and downs, but my family has proven to me time and time again that as long as we have each other, we can accomplish anything!

[shirlantis]

Hay Que Tener Ganas!

Five years ago, in the summer of 2011, I had the opportunity to intern with the NJ Department of State in their Governor’s Hispanic Fellows Program (formerly known as Hispanic Interns in Community Service Program). I was blessed with getting to know some amazing kids who, to this day, I still consider familia. In 2011, we were a group of college kids with dreams of finishing college and changing the world. Five years later, many of us have graduated and have started our careers, some of us are still in school (Masters/PhDs, I see you!), some of us joined the military and are proudly serving our country, and all of us are out there making the world a better place by breaking the stereotype and extending a hand to all who come after us. 

Below is probably the greatest speech I’ve ever written. I was given the honor to be chosen by my class to represent us at our graduation. Familia, I want each and everyone one of you to know that you were the inspiration behind every word, that I am extremely proud of the leaders you are and continue to become, the passion that we shared for change and progress in our underrepresented communities five years ago still runs in your veins and I see it in the work that you do. Standing up there was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done, and just as my nerves were about to get the best of me, I saw you wipe away your tears because you felt my words, and when I was done, you gave me a standing ovation. Familia, I will never forget that feeling of empowerment that you gave me. Keep pushing. Keep learning. Keep helping. Keep loving. Now, especially, we need to be stronger than ever. Five years later and these words still ring truer than ever:

“Good morning to the Office of the Governor … New Jersey Department of State, to distinguished guests, employers, Center for Hispanic Policy, Research and Development staff … to alumni … and to family, friends … and above all to the Class of 2011.

My name is Shirley Hurtado. / I am honored to have been chosen by my fellows to represent them at our graduation. / My mother always told me, / just like I’m sure your mothers have told you, / “dime con quien andas /  y te dire quien eres,” / well, I’ve spent an amazing ten weeks, / okay, more like ten days (7 hours every Wednesday) / with this amazing group of leaders.  / And even though we haven’t known each other for long, / I can’t say that I’m surprised we have become una familia. /  Every moment that I spend con mi familia de lideres, / I feel / enlightened, / inspired, / but overall, / proud to see that today’s Latino youth is taking a stand for what we know is right.

I remember the first session we had at the Department of State. / I went in with the mindset that this was a competition, / as I’m sure most of us did. / We took turns introducing ourselves / – name, college, major, and a fact about ourselves. / My turn came; / I stood up and said / “Shirley Hurtado. Stevens Institute of Technology. Engineering Management. I have a fear of public speaking.” / I smiled, and sat down. / Ironically, look at me now, / conquering my fear, assured that my fellows are right here beside me. / The point is / this program required that I share my opinions, / my ideas, / my feelings / with a bunch of people that I’ve never met before. / And, at every session, / we opened up to each other more and more./  I grew to love these strangers so much / to the point that I consider them a part of my family. / I know that if I ever have a problem, / they will be there in a heartbeat, / and I thank them for that.

Wednesdays were the highlight of my week. / I didn’t mind having to wake up extra early, drive an hour and a half, and having to take a 7 hour class, /  because I knew that I was going to spend time with mi familia.  

There was one Wednesday that we went to the beach after our session. /  We went for a good swim, /  played some volleyball, / took pictures, and just relaxed and enjoyed each other’s company. / Out of nowhere, someone pulls out a guitar, / and someone else pulls out four different instruments, / and we start to make music. / We sing our hearts out as the sun sets. /

It sounds like something out of a movie, / and you know what, / that day was perfect. / We made a circle and danced to the rhythm of the guitar and the maracas. / The beach was pretty empty by then, / but those who were able to witness it were pretty lucky. / That evening we shared a little part of ourselves that we didn’t know we had, / something that comes from our culture, / our souls. / That evening, / I looked at everyone while they danced and sang, / and I saw happiness, / greatness, / but above all, / love. / Our singing and laughter overpowered the sound of the waves crashing, / the same way our love and trust in one another overpowered all the worries we carried with us. / At that moment we were one – / one group of kids having a good time, / one group of leaders with so much potential. / And fellows, / I thank you for sharing that moment with me.

Now, believe me when I tell you / there were times when I thought we were going to kill each other / because we are so opinionated, / and not to mention, / loud. / And, / just like in every Latino family, / when lunch time came, the arguments / se quedaron en la puerta / and we bonded. / We don’t always agree with each other, / but there is one thing that we will always agree on. / There needs to be a change. / It’s not long before Latinos become / the largest ethnic group in the country, / and / according to the Pew Hispanic Center, / right now, / we are the least educated ethnic group. / Studies show that Hispanics will have an important impact on the country’s future because we will account for most of the U.S. population growth in coming years. /

Fellows, / I am the product of two immigrants, / who, at the time, / were undocumented and did not speak English. / I was born, / raised, / and still reside in Paterson. /  According to the statistics, I should not be standing in front of you. / YOU.  / ME.  / WE. / should not have made it this far. / Some of us were raised by single parents, / others do not live in the safest areas; / some of us don’t have a steady income, / and some of us have disabilities.  / The odds are pretty much against us, / right? / No, / we refuse to accept that. / We have / the privilege, / and the responsibility, / to have made it this far, / and we have / the right/ and / the heart / to transform our dreams into reality. / All of the obstacles in front of us / are just that / – obstacles, / not limits. / We don’t expect anything to be handed to us because / we’ve worked very hard to get to where we are.

However, / we can’t take all the credit. / Without the support of our friends, family, educators, role models, and programs geared at Latino empowerment, / our journey would be even more difficult. / For this reason, we have to make sure that programs like the Hispanic Interns in Community Service Program always exist - /  that they are properly funded / and well equipped / to prepare the next group of Latino leaders. / Throughout this internship, we’ve learn a lot about ourselves, / about each other, / and about the issues that affect us, / both directly and indirectly. / We’ve also witnessed the financial struggles to put a program such as this together, / but that did not stop us, / rather, / it just proved we have to work harder to be heard. / I know that, / being a member of the fastest growing ethnic group, / I don’t want to feel like I’m getting the short end of the stick. / We learned that there is power in numbers; / however, if we don’t speak up - / together, / then nothing will change.

Everything that we’ve learned throughout this internship we will take with us and pass it on. / In a few years you will see some of us in / business, / communication, / law, / government, / science, / engineering, / and we’ll be passing on our knowledge / and opportunities / to the next group of leaders. / We still have a long way to go, / many obstacles to overcome, /but we are not alone, /and neither will the next group of Latino leaders.

This has been one of the best experiences of my life. / I’ve met students who are as passionate as I am, / and professionals like Dr. Santiago, Sonia, Wanda, Aaron, and dear Abraham, who believe in us / and set an example for us. / I’ve met students that, without even knowing it, /have made a difference in my life. / Now imagine if we all go out into the world with the intention of making a change, / seriamos imparables, / we’d be unstoppable. /Right now the world needs leaders like us; / leaders who value hard work and sacrifice, / and who understand that diversity is key / to the advancement of this nation; / leaders who are ready to do whatever to takes / to change the fact / that we are the largest uneducated ethnic group in the nation; / leaders who appreciate familia, /and understand the power of solidarity. /

Fellows, / we’re still very young, / and a lot of us are the first ones in our family to embark on this journey, / so it’s okay if we don’t exactly know what we want to do for the rest of our lives. / But, I can tell you this; / we’re on the right track. / And, each and every one of you / has passion running through your veins. / We will make an impact in our communities / one way or another.

I’ll leave you with this: / Para uno lograr algo, / like Dr. Santiago says, / “hay que tener…” /GANAS! / And, ladies and gentlemen, / I can assure you / that the class of 2011 / tiene ganas – /

ganas de salir adelente, / ganas de cambiar el mundo. /

Thank you.

Gracias, y que Dios los bendiga.”

[shirlantis]

Padres e Hijas

Hoy leí un artículo llamado “25 Cosas Que Raramente Se Les Dice A Los Padres Que Hagan, Pero Que Deberían De Hacer”. Me hizo pensar en mi papá y en la forma en que nos creó a mi hermana y a mí.

 Mi papá es el mayor de 5 - el hermano mayor de 4 hermanas. Cualquiera que me conoce sabe que yo fui criada en una familia muy matriarcal; muy diferente a las familias tradicionales en Latinoamérica. Mi papá nos hizo, a mi hermana y a mí, hacer el “trabajo del hombre” en la casa - trabajar en el jardín, arreglar cosas en la casa, ayudar a arreglar los carros, limpiar toneladas de nieve, mover objetos pesados ​​dentro y fuera de la casa, etc.

 Mi papá siempre ha trabajado 16 horas al día - bueno, en la noche. El tiempo que teníamos para pasar juntos era el tiempo que tenía para descansar y dormir. Mi hermana y yo, sin entender lo que se significaba trabajar un turno de 16 horas en una fábrica, tomábamos ese tiempo que él estaba durmiendo para maquillarlo usando el maquillaje de mi mamá, para que cuando él se despertara y se miraba en el espejo, estaría sorprendido de ver su cara maquillada. En ese momento no sabíamos que, obviamente, él estaba despierto, ya que no podíamos controlar nuestras risas mientras que le pintábamos la cara. Mirando hacia atrás, no conozco muchos padres que dejarían que sus hijas le pintaran la cara – y más cuando esta descansando. Él se levantaba cuando sabía que habíamos terminado y se miraba en el espejo - sorprendido cada vez. Nunca olvidaré esos momentos. Nos buscaba y nos preguntaba, “¿Quién me hizo esto?” Los tres nos reíamos, y después él se lavaba la cara, y se volvía a acostar hasta que llegaba el tiempo de ir al trabajo.

 Yo jugué con barbies, carritos y Legos. Me acuerdo que yo quería que mis padres que me compraran un kit de afeitar de niño para yo pretender afeitarme la cara como mi papá, y mis padres me lo compraron. Nunca oí, “Usted es una niña entonces usted no puede hacer eso.” Es más, yo siempre tuve muchos amigos, y a mi papá nunca le molesto por tener tantos niños en la casa - de hecho, se aseguró de que siempre tuviéramos pelotas de baloncesto para jugar hasta que bajara el sol. Los vecinos se quejaban porque supuestamente una niña no debería de jugar con tantos niños y porque hacíamos mucho ruido, pero mi papá sólo sonreía. Él sabía que era mejor tener a su hija en casa con sus amigos que restringirla del mundo.

 Cuando le dije a mi papá que me encanta jugar billar, me dijo con una sonrisa: “En Colombia, más que todo son los hombres que juegan billar,“ y me animó a aprender a jugar bien. Entonces, no fue sorpresa que cuando le dije a mi padre que quería estudiar ingeniería, el estaba extático.

 El artículo dice,“Anímela a hacer las cosas que le dan miedo, porque siempre estarás ahí con ella.” ¿Estaba nerviosa cuando decidí estudiar ingeniería? Pues, claro que sí, especialmente sabiendo las estadísticas. Soy una latina, una mujer, vengo de una comunidad pobre, plagada por crimen, no tenía una buena fundación en matemáticas ni en ciencias en comparación con los otros estudiantes que estudiaban ingeniería, y era la primera en ir a la universidad. Mi papá nunca tuvo que decirlo, pero yo sabía que el estaba orgulloso de mí y que el creía en mí - y eso era todo lo que realmente necesitaba. Cuando estaba en el kinder y les dije a mis padres que quería ser presidente, mi padre me dijo: “Guri (mi apodo), usted puede ser lo que usted quiera.” Y hasta hoy, mi papá sigue animándome a seguir una carrera en la política.

 Ningún padre es perfecto, pero mi padre ha hecho todo lo posible con lo que tiene, sabe, y cree para criar a mi hermana ya mí a ser mujeres independientes, inteligentes, carismáticas y exitosas. Yo no soy como otras muchachas de 24 años, y eso es porque mi padre entendió que criar a sus hijas en una manera que desafía los roles determinados por nuestra sociedad de como deben de ser las mujeres y los hombres resulta en hijas que están dispuestas y listas para cambiar el mundo.

[shirlantis]

Fathers and Daughters

Today I read an article called, “25 Things Dads Are Hardly Told To Do For Their Daughters, But Should”. It really made me think about my father and the way he raised my sister and me. 

My father was the oldest of 5 - the older brother of 4 sisters. Anyone who knows me knows that I grew up in a very matriarchal family; very different from traditional Latino families. My father made my sister and me do the "man work" in the house - yard work, house fixtures, help him fix the cars, plow tons of snow, move heavy objects in and out of the house, etc. 

Growing up he worked 16 hour nights - taking the night shift and the graveyard shift, so the time we got to spend together was the time he had to rest. My sister and I, not understanding what it meant to work a 16-hour shift at a factory, took this time that he was sleeping to take our mom’s makeup and do my father’s makeup, so that when he woke up and looked in the mirror, he’d be surprised to see eyeshadow, blush and lipstick all over his face. At the time, we didn’t know that, obviously, he was awake, since we couldn’t control our giggling while we painted his face, but looking back, I don’t know many fathers that would let their daughters do this. He’d wake up after we were done, and would look at himself in the mirror - “surprised” every time. I will never forget those moments. He’d come find us and go “Hey, do you know who did this to me?” We’d all laugh, he’d go wash his face, and go back to sleep until he had to wake up for work. 

I played with barbies, cars, and Legos. I remember I wanted my parents to buy me a kid's shaving kit so I could pretend to shave the foam off my face like my daddy did, and my parents bought it for me. Never did I hear, "You're a girl so you can't do that." Growing up, I had so many guy friends, and never did my father keep me from them - in fact, he made sure we always had basketballs and a net so we could play ball in my back yard for hours. While the neighbors complained that a girl shouldn’t have that many guy friends and that we were too loud, my father would just smile, because he knew it was better to have me home with my friends than to restrict me from the world.

When I told him I love to play pool, he said with a smirk, "In Colombia, pool is usually only played by men," which meant that he was in full acceptance of it and encouraged me to learn how to play well. So, it's not a surprise that when I told my father I wanted to pursue engineering, he was ecstatic! The article says, “Encourage her to do the things that scare her, because you'll always have her back.” Was I nervous to pursue engineering? Yes. Especially knowing the statistics - I’m a Latina, a woman, from a poor urban community, who struggled in math and science as compared to people who pursue engineering, and the first to go to college. My father never had to say it, but I knew he was proud and that he believed that I could do it - and that’s all I really needed. When I was in kindergarten and I told my parents I wanted to be president, my father told me, “Guri (my nickname), you can be whatever you want to be.” And to this day, he continues to push me to continue in politics. 

No father is perfect, but my father has done his best with what he has, knows, and believes to raise my sister and me as independent, intelligent, charismatic, successful women. I am not your typical 24 year old, and that is because my father understood raising daughters to defy gender roles creates women who are ready to take on the world.

[shirlantis]

#TXliving

So, I finally have a personal laptop, so now I can (try to) keep my tumblr updated! Most of my pictures have the hashtag "#TXliving" so now you can not only see my life in Texas, now you can read about it!

Texas is awesome. When I moved here I thought it was going to be cowboys, cattle and tumbleweeds everywhere, but I was wrong. I mean, country music is very popular, and (I will admit) a bit catchy, haha. Life as compared to Jersey is different. Texas has a more relaxed feel, even though the weather is bipolar.

I had to learn how to pump my own gas. The first time, I sat in my car waiting for someone to come pump it for me... andddd no one came. It wasn't until I saw someone step out of their car and pump their own gas that I realized I had to do it myself. Took me like 20 mins, but I did it and didn't blow up. (I'm kind of a pro now, *brushes shoulders*)

The people I've met here are awesome - so welcoming. They also have cute Texan accents (and apparently I have an accent too, but an east coast accent). Texans are very proud to be Texans and I love it. There are also many people here that aren't originally from here. Dallas is booming - there are jobs everywhere, so much construction, everything is pretty new. It's attracting people from all over the country - lots of young professionals moving here career opportunities. I will say that finding another Colombian has been a struggle; it's mostly Mexicans (obviously), Salvadorians, and Puerto Ricans. So sometimes I do wake up craving Peruvian, Colombian, Dominican food, but it's so hard to find. I will say, however, the food here is amazing! Texans eat a lot of meat - brisket (mmm), steak, ribs, etc and there's always like 10 different bbq-type of sauces you can choose from anddd it's worth every penny because they give you so much food! 

People ask me which one I like better - Texas or Jersey. My answer is always "I will always be a Jersey girl, but Texas is definitely a place I can see being my new home." I have my family and friends in Jersey, but my new life is here in Texas and I'm looking forward to my future here for however long I stay.

Although, I've vowed to never say "y'all", there are things about Texan culture that I've embraced, and I can honestly say that I'm happy here :)

[shirlantis]

Makeup lasted all night! I did I pretty good job, if I do say so myself 💀👹🎃

[shirlantis]

Sunday funday. #TXliving #DeepEllum

[shirlantis]

#Dallas #TheEye #Construction #Destruction

[shirlantis]

Being a tourist today. #DeepEllum #Dallas #TXliving

[shirlantis]

Forever bringing a piece of Colombia with me. #Dallas #ColombianInDallas

[shirlantis]

Time won't make you forget, it'll make you grow and understand things. #TXliving #growing

[shirlantis]

[shirlantis]

Stay single until someone actually compliments your life in a way that makes it better not to be single. If not, it’s not worth it.

(via nyu-tah)

[shirlantis]

"You are so used to your features, you don't know how beautiful you look to a stranger."

[shirlantis]

Yup 😏

[shirlantis]

So proud of my baby sister! You're going to love college! I'll be in TX, but I'll be a FaceTime away, hahaha! #MHCA #alumnistatus #offtocollege

[shirlantis]

I finally found a perfect picture! Happy Birthday to my best friend, my motivation, my number 1 fan, my ride or die, my inspiration, the reason that I am who I am. Thank you for always supporting me every step of the way and for pushing me to do things I never thought I could do! Thank you for showing me what unconditional love for others, but more importantly, for oneself is. Te amo, mami!