shesleepsndreams-blog

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

I think of when I had enough to give you all I had. These were great moments. I hope you think of me, when I cry for you. All the years that have gone by so far, are like condensation on the roof of a lid on a jar, that has a papertowel inside. Only really recognizing how damp the space is still on my heart, as the drops saturate the paper towel. 

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

Sometimes it’s hard to let go of the past. For me the time of the past breathes anxieties and feelings for remorse due to the helplessness I felt growing up and being apart of the family I came from. I think of all the things I miss and who I miss the most. I feel that if I could rewrite the stars, I would bring the people back that got removed so intensely and quickly. It truly felt as if this was a series of obstacles to make me stronger. As much as I feel like a failure sometimes, I believe I made the best decisions in the moment for what I knew. That’s the strength I take from these moment that have now gone by. 

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Time to move on when no one gets it. 

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Still haven’t seen this movie. DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM

Black Panther’s Critics’ Choice Movie Awards Nominations

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

I'm trying to meet the right people and get the groundwork done. Feel the energy? Lol P.S. Ms.@itslrae I actually don't mind how pixelated the video cane out. It's kinda cute. (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrZOvCJAuHb/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18zm0xvozbv3z

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Could I climb heights even higher? Trying to catch a dream that requires choirs of support and when there are no cohorts or adversaries left can I continue to conquest less pressed and communion dressed the better , I've felt, BETTER I am getting conciouness breadth from the meanest of greenest of patures and still no rapture to kill or be killed made it past 22 still can't get this feeling inside my stomach should I be running or gunnin CLiCK ClaK CLOPping them in the streets or silent so they don't know I'm coming Is it the best to be my silent and chic queer and effervescent self or twinging with every miscommunicated body language ridden , textless, unjustifed premise but never the less when I rise you'll all grimace consequential unconsequential a spell when I die and you die will we both go to hell? #poetry #newyorkpoet #writing #rhyming #rapping https://www.instagram.com/p/BrVPj--AFQ0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vgoj2c2h01w8

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

Writing writings wrote em

Been writing a lot of music.

Feeling like a sinner

Miss my loveliest creation

but I won’t miss chicken dinner

Looking to collaborate, but who the hell reads this ish anyway

If you wanna work on a project together, reach out

sparks@pehimvmnt.com

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

untitled

I wonder what it could be if it were just you & me.

Both know we’ve seen the shadier side of things

Let this be my peace offering

could I offer up my heart?

& I know I am brave & I know we are beautiful

but is ungrateful to hope for us to be more as my fingertips trace down from your lips to your breasts

God is it not just

loneliness that consumes us in the gloom  & doom

of the waiting room?

I love you but...

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

Wanna produce your own BADASS works of art, but don’t have the equipment? 

Live in a big city? Then you’re in luck! 

Take this 20$ ON ME, to try FAT LLAMA 

I sincerely believe you will be glad you did! 

Let me know what you rented! 

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

#nottoday but I made it my day anyways I wanted to know if I could replicate @wherearetheavocados video "when the party's over" .. I mean.. it burned like hell, but the black did slip out of my nostrils.. so that was kinda sick. I need more art sick expressions and less toxic relationships. Think about it. #artsy #fartsy #billieeilish #fangirl #foreveryoung (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq0GXBJAjnz/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vnv60g248tp5

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

Finished reading this book several weeks ago. it was a short read. #paulocoelho #Thealchemist #motivation (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bps1hbBA934/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=l27kbdvk5kb1

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Up on #depop 10/29/18 #nyc #painting #daddy #japan #assc #vaporwave (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpf-G3vnYzk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1sp771y25m6wy

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#illustration #イラスト

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I got committed to a Hospital, but I think I found love?

I’ve been caught in a debacle as of late. I met this amazing lad on Bumble & from the first date we had hit it off. I felt like he could make me actually let go of my fears again, to pursue a long term relationship. I had just left my amazing job at a National park to move to a new city & take care of my darling great grandmother. It honestly was a jump, but it helped that I got cast in a paid musical,, and so that made it easier to leave. We dated for a few weeks. I was so excited to be by his side and to have someone who wanted to be as carefree as I did. As a long time sufferer of ptsd, due to mental and emotional abuse, I am still adjusting to healthier family and friend dynamics. I’d come home , walking on air after chatting up a storm and aimlessly driving around in circles with him through the city . Meanwhile, returning to my domicile, I battled with chronic wounds from the past. My family had been living on this street, ever since I was little. My great, my grandma, uncles, cousins, and extended family too! So it pained me when I realized that more than anything, I needed to be here to support my great grandmother, because the family that loved her most lived far away and the ones that lived on the same street as her; seemed like they wanted her to hurry up and go away It drug me to places in myself I had to contain So our friendship felt like it was tighter than glue, but I wish my family ties had been just as tight. I struggled with confronting thieves, stealing from my Great grandmother, that were people who lived on her street, but couldn’t make efforts to actually help care for her. That got me into a whole pot of shitty gumbo. Not only was I beginning to get attacked for this, but I was repeatedly tested and tried and one of these thieves tried to start a fight with me and called the police. Luckily, God protected me. The police felt like she frivolously called them. Apparently she is known for that in her neighborhood. I was stressing because it felt like my genuine duty to see to my GG having a good few last years. When I arrived, she was always cooped up in the house, but it felt so wrong. She was a gardener in her hay day, she even taught me how to do this and many other things. I got scolded for walking her outside and sitting with her in HER garden. I think it finally made sense that they didn’t care for her quality of wellbeing when one of the thieves came over and told me NOT to give her a fruit cocktail (but then proceeded to give her a diet soda) . I was shattered . Even though they did not put her in a home, she was trapped inside of hers and what kind of life was that? I had another instance with this their , where they decided to call the police on me, and when her claims didn’t vibe with those police, they let me be. However, she went out of her way, to have me committed for several days. Different police came and got me and told me I didn’t have a say. I guess I was wondering why I was getting taken away. It dragged my insides to feel so confused and gaslighted. Was this a ruse? It wasn’t. I spent ten hours in a room, with no contact with the people who cared about me. I was only able to get a quick text out to my new friend. In this situation, when I couldn’t separate the real from the fake,he showed me how real he was. He immediately started by blowing up the phone at the hospital. They wouldn’t let him talk to me. It wasn’t until hour ten, when they were transferring me to another hospital, that I found out he’d been ringing for me all along. When I got to this new place, he had already made waves and the spirit of his echo rang through the place. I had never been so enamored with the effort. No one had fought like this for me before. He called me everyday and reassured me it would all be okay. In less than 72 hours, I was cleared of all the false charges the thief had said against me, but it still drained my energy to fight, for my GG. I knew I couldn’t go back to that place to lay my head. My friend had helped me make a way instead. I guess to sum it up; He gave his all for me, and lost some things in the process It caused us to have a rough spot I wonder if I’m actually into him Or if it’s a hero thing, I don’t feel like he has “saved” me , just been a true friend. I really did say some off key things to him recently, out of being stressed, and it made him upset to the point that he stopped talking to me for a day or two. I want to accomplish understanding myself more and him and maybe build an actual foundation now, because I am so grateful and I do have love for him, but it’s just not super romantic... okay that’s all!

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

I think this is us ~ 

Vanilla and Coffee~

The clothing is designed by potatoccalon! 

I need a series where Izuku and co. eats a lot so this shall be the beginning,

[shesleepsndreams-blog]

I Want to- Be An Influence -r

In a world where vanity and lip service prices are high

we swell up into distorted versions of ourselves

To sell cause false press sells

We push ourselves up a  hill

hoping for relief

never fully grasping

the hills and valleys

of the range

I want to be an influence

on those seeking hope

knowing that the ropes the pull

will unleash the sails on their boat

and even in the heaviest of storms

having them rest in the comfort

that their faith will keep them

afloat