shedreamerwings

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first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

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I know they're named after him but for reasons I can't fully articulate it's hilarious that the guy who invented zeppelins was named Ferdinand von Zeppelin

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middle aged lady on my bus just called someone's partner "your whimsical idiot boyfriend" over the phone . with sincere frustration might I add

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scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

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i'm 28 years old now and i feel similarly. every day is a new horrible discovery of the ways we've mucked about taking away people's freedom and liberty and even lives and I just...hate it so much. I'm so emotionally tired and motivation to keep going just..isn't really there. all I can do is endure and try to endure with some sort of proof I've endured well...

I don’t know how to explain this well…but I’m 30 years old and I feel like I’ve had to ‘sacrifice’ my entire adult life to unprecedented times, the pandemic and daily anxiety over hateful politicians and whatever rights they want to take away on any given day and I’m just so fucking tired

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Absolutely losing it over Vetinari sounding like this as he shoves Moist into a new job title 😂

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Okay so this is a big deal

To me, and to a significant subset of Sir Terry's fans (including most of you who've found this by the tags), his writing is serious commentary on the human condition - politics, prejudice, self-control, revenge vs. justice, religion, idealism, faith in people vs. cynicism, and more - dressed up with fantasy settings and a hefty leavening of humor to make it fun to read. And it is WILDLY fun to read, actual laugh-out-loud or at least a snicker averaging about every page.

But there's this common idea among the "important literature" people that fun and funny books are not also worthwhile or important in the same way.

This is a Discworld book being released WITH ACADEMIC COMMENTARY and AS A PENGUIN CLASSIC. That's a HUGE amount of recognition.

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...I am starting to understand Terry Pratchett's vision for Luggage all the more vividly...

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someone tag the Sprouse twins. It's definitely not a "creepy thinking/finishing each other's sentences" twin plot, but it IS an entertaining premise.

Johnny Eck was a performer from the 1930s who was born without any legs:

He's primarily known for appearing in the 1932 cult classic Freaks directed by Tod Browning.

However what I'm mostly obsessed with is this account of a magic trick he did with his non-disabled twin brother (text under the cut)

Like this is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Can you imagine

Wikipedia screenshot:

"In 1937, Eck and Robert were recruited by the illusionist and hypnotist Rajah Raboid, for his "Miracles of 1937" show. In it they performed a magic feat that amazed audiences. Raboid performed the traditional sawing-a-man-in-half illusion, except with an unexpected twist. At first Robert would pretend to be a member of the audience and heckle the illusionist during his routine, resulting in Robert being called on stage to be sawed in half himself. During the illusion, Robert would then be switched with his twin brother Eck, who played the top half of his body, and a dwarf who played the bottom half, concealed in specially-built pant legs. After seeming to have been sawn off, the legs would suddenly get up and start running away, prompting Eck to jump off the table and start chasing them around the stage, screaming, "Come back!" "I want my legs back!" Sometimes he even chased the legs into the audience. The subsequent reaction was amazing – people would scream and sometimes even flee the theater in terror. As Eck described it, "The men were more frightened than the women – the women couldn't move because the men were walking across their laps, headed for the exit." The act provided the perfect jolt by frightening people at first but then caused just as much laughter and applause. The illusion would end with stage hands plucking up Eck and setting him atop "his" legs and then twirling him off-stage to be replaced by his twin Robert, who would then loudly threaten to sue Raboid and storm out of the theater. Their act was so popular that they played to packed audiences up and down the East Coast."

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A girlfriend is a type of improv partner who's twice as annoying as the normal ones

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I need updates on this, specifically on what happened to the hikers...

i like perusing fragrantica (perfume information website) as a pastime, but the number of people??? who wear perfume??? to bed?? wild

also have seen MULTIPLE variations of "good hiking perfume"/"good going to the gym perfume"?????

WHAT are other people's discretionary funds for fragrance looking like??? that you would have a "hiking" perfume?????

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don't weave your way in,

creeping soft like a whisper;

i'll bare my claws,

and leave scratches where you tried.

i don't know how

to be delicate,

despite the grace i display,

a careful, coiled tension.

yes, i crave attention,

yet the only way i know to seek it

is with feral claws, to reach out

and pull you close

and then watch you bleed.

i don't know how to love --

not the way they write about it,

at least,

with bouquets and whispered promises.

i'm better at pushing people away,

watching their hands fall empty,

knowing i did that,

knowing i'll do that again.

"between softness and savagery."

d.b.a

"i was on the smaller side of things, very quiet and out of the way."

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This literally feels like a Black Mirror episode

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Had to go pick up my parents at the airport and let me tell you, seeing a ROAD WORK AHEAD sign while being tailgated at 80mph in the most silent hill ass London pea soup fog I've ever seen and reflexively replying "I sure hope it does" while staring into the void less than 100ft ahead really hits different.