shaylafm - Tumblr blog

[shaylafm]

maybe it was a bit much to still be friends with a guy that she slept with and ruined two perfectly good relationships that they had with alara and paris but with their history it was hard to give him up completely. even when they weren't on speaking terms, she still made sure that he was doing okay, she talked to their mutual friends to see how he was doing. she knew if she asked him directly, all her work of keeping her distance would shatter once she heard his voice. which was prove when she met him at the gala and now it was like nothing had passed between them. it felt good to be with tristan and not feel like she was letting her dad down. it was different, she didn't have all these things on the line. she knew that he wouldn't have understood why she put her family before her own happiness, why she listen to her dad and left but now she didn't have to. she was able to be happy with whatever path she choose.

walking into the water, the cold ran throughout her body quickly. it was still too early for the weather to be at that place where it was a good thing the ocean cold because the heat was too much. it was also why she wasn't exactly thrilled about jumping right in. "yeah, but i'm not a child. i don't want to get dragged in by the ankles," she teases him back as she follows him in deeper. looking around to see the cliff he was talking about that wasn't too far from them, "pretty sure we can jump off that one." she turns to look at him again just as he reaches out for her. "tristan, i swear to god if you drag me in i'm gonna kill you and be happy to see your body drift off into the ocean." even though she knows better than to fall into his trip she still let it happen, it wasn't like she actually mind it. she knew she was gonna get wet when she agreed to go to the beach but that didn't mean that she was ready to get all the way in when the water was kind of cold. the shock would be too much. "i feel like you would belly flop off," she laughs.

shayla and tristan didn't let much complicate their friendship despite how 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 things got with the people and things around them or in their lives after what they had done . managing to keep a friendship even with the time they had been distanced from the others life . they still managed to be there for each other even when they weren't really speaking to each other anymore . an unspoken ride or die type mentality the two shared when it came to each other . ⏤ family wasn't really something tristan had ever really respected in any way . always having a 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 and 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 relationship with those that were and weren't around anymore . of course , there was his sister who he shared a bond with but the two had been separated from each other and only saw each other occasionally . that being said , he never really had reservations when it came to what his family thought and having any kind of 𝐋𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐘 to them like shayla seemed to have with hers when they were younger .

with things being a lot different now . it seemed like the perfect time to come back into each others lives . then again , maybe all the complicated intertwined things the two shared would just pop back up , ( forcing them to deal with it all head on . ) maybe being in each others lives meant they couldn't outrun their 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 or the past when it came to what the media thought about them or knew about what was out there and public to the world . but tristan didn't really care . ⏤ shorts already on , tristan pulled off this t - shirt before dropping it on the ground and going down to the water . ❛ isn't the point of getting in the water to get all the way in ? ❜ he teased , walking into the water . immediately laying down in the water , using his hands to move him further into the water . ❛ you think they have any high spots we can jump off of ? ❜ he asked , sitting up and reaching his hands up as if he was trying to ask her to help him up . despite it being the oldest trick in the book to pull someone down into the water . ❛ how much you bet i can jump from up there and backflip into the water ? ❜ tristan continued , eyes glancing over at a high peak he didn't even know for certain was safe to jump from or not .

[shaylafm]

"see, i come up with all the good idea," shayla says as shrugs her shoulders playfully. she was on hiatus from the show so it was perfect timing to ditch new york and go out with gemma. "an hour it is, just know i'm gonna look extra hot for you." she had just gone shopping that week with her sister and they so happen to get bunch of bikinis and this was a perfect way to show off the tan she had been working on.

"me too, girl." she agreed with a laugh. technically it was her parents private jet that she occasionally borrowed. so much more comfortable than flying with any airline. "definitely somewhere out the country. a few days in cabo sounds amazing actually." the more she thought about it, the more she was all for that. "pack your cutest swimsuits and whatever you need, and i'll pick you up in like an hour?"

[shaylafm]

"oh my god, every time her new music comes out, i just can't believe god made that angel," shayla had to be thankful that not only each other but they were friends too. "but if you get details from her, share it with me. i want to know where her mind is going with this video." she didn't think that simone would actually be interested in her work, she wasn't exactly the star and it just didn't seem like the type of thing anyone would want to know about her. "you do? i'm kind of surprise, i'm not like a household name or anything like that so it kind of caught me off guard a little bit."

"ugh, dasom is such a talent. and a sweetheart - i love her." the mention of one of her close friends in the industry made simone smile. "i get it, i get it. i won't try to pry too much, i know when things are supposed to be kept hush hush." that was just how the business was. one couldn't exactly expose all the details of upcoming projects, that could lead to said projects potentially being leaked to the public after all. "why wouldn't i be? i enjoy your work. especially buffy. is it so surprising for me to be interested in what you have coming up next?"

[shaylafm]

"is that so? i'm excited now, i always love what you come up with," it's why she loves to with dasom her ideas coming out onto a video made it so everyone can see her creative mind but it's not the main reason why she likes to work with the other girl. "i'm sure it will look amazing. it always does and you want to start with god is a woman? wow, you want to turn everyone's head, huh? now i really can't wait to be a part of this."

" IT WON'T BE a continuation , it's a completely different vibe and feel . " since shayla had all but agreed to do it , dasom didn't see a reason why she couldn't spill a little bit of information as to what it would be . " i plan on my next single from the album to be god is a woman . it's going to have a lot of symbolism and imagery that makes people think . i haven't done a video like this before , so i'm super excited to get everything worked out . i came up with the ideas myself . "

[shaylafm]

if there was one thing that she could take back from all of her relationships, it would be the day she cheated on alara. no one deserves that and if karma decided to come back in the form of someone doing it to her siblings, then she's not sure she would ever forgive herself. it wasn't right and she knows that she was young but she wasn't stupid, she got caught up in the moment and choose to make a bad decision. she spent months trying to make it up, trying everything she could to fix it and pulling away from tristan was hard but it had to be done if she wanted a future with the other. it's really hard for anyone to understand, she claims that she love alara during that time and then we went and slept with tristan. to her, it wasn't that hard. she messed up, she fucked up a perfectly good relationship where she was happy but it happened and as much as she wished she could take it back, she couldn't. shayla still felt a lot of love for alara, it's why she held on for so long. it's why she let alara let her down over and over again because she loved her too much to try and let go. but there was so much that shayla could take and after a while she couldn't pretend that alara had forgiven her when it was clear she didn't. now, it was just too much. she had too much going on to keep feeling guilty over it. shayla put up with it for years because at least their fighting meant that they were still talking, that they had a reason to talk but it was becoming a distraction at this point. "alara, i'm not saying all this so you can tell me what i want to hear," no matter what their past held, she loved alara at one point and as of right now she cares about her like any friend would. "i don't want us to be strangers but i think that if we started fresh then we could be friends at least. that's better than us yelling at each other every time we happen to be in the same room." shayla wasn't expecting sleepovers or hangouts but now she wouldn't have to worry about hurting the other. she wanted alara to be happy, that was the most important thing for her. "i'm really sorry about all the things i said just to hurt you."

heartbreak  was  a  unique  experience  ,  a  certain  type  of  heartbreak  unforgettable  .  it  was  only  when  she  caught  up  standing  there  in  the  bathroom  ,  her  brain  seeming  to  jolt  into  reality  long  after  her  heart  …  brown  eyes  still  widened  with  all  that  emotion  …  that  she  realised  what  was  happening  .  a  form  of  self  torture  in  a  sense  ,  feeding  off  the  non  stop  rejection  that  seemed  like  it  was  provided  to  her  when  she  tried  to  let  her  feelings  out  in  the  open  .  shayla  didn't  owe  her  more  explanations  or  apologies  because  they  could  never  put  right  what  they  had  gotten  wrong  and  no  amount  of  billed  hours  in  a  therapists  office  seemed  to  be  able  to  earn  forgiveness  from  her  .  she  had  grown  up  in  a  home  where  she  had  experienced  love  and  faithfulness  but  there  was  still  something  so  horrifying  about  being  cheated  on  ,  the  repercussions  of  that  relationship  lasting  throughout  her  life  when  it  came  to  trust  or  care  .  she  felt  like  she  was  crushed  every  time  she  put  her  heart  in  someones  hands  ,  a  replaceable  part  that  no  one  really  cared  for  .  in  the  end  ,  walking  away  had  been  far  easier  than  trying  to  forgive  the  unforgivable  but  that  anger  and  hurt  raged  on  ,  her  distance  from  the  person  only  furthering  her  belief  that  she  had  been  unloved  all  along  .  it  didn't  make  sense  but  feelings  rarely  did  .  her  mouth  shuts  and  expression  turns  more  blank  ,  the  emotional  electric  that  had  been  surging  through  her  moments  earlier  seeming  to  drain  away  as  she  listens  to  shayla  speak  and  reasons  with  herself  about  how  she  should  feel  ,  how  she  should  react  .  there  is  a  very  small  part  of  her  that  still  feels  like  shouting  and  screaming  but  there's  something  more  painful  about  shayla  not  caring  ,  the  absence  of  any  real  emotion  or  response  showing  how  little  she  meant  in  shayla's  new  world  .  it  scared  her  she  could  have  loved  someone  so  much  ,  that  she  could  still  care  so  deeply  and  that  person  could  look  her  dead  in  the  eye  with  an  expression  absent  of  the  same  .  like  two  strangers  who  had  never  known  each  other  yet  they  shared  the  most  intricate  past  ,  the  most  intimate  parts  of  each  other  .  shayla  knew  her  too  well  and  alara  had  never  been  forgiving  ,  she  had  struggled  to  ever  look  past  history  when  it  came  to  almost  anything  in  her  life  ,  remembering  too  well  any  small  ache  or  pain  caused  to  her  by  another  but  now  …  her  mouth  is  dry  and  her  heart  beats  hard  in  her  chest  ,  "  i  …  forgive  you  ,  "  and  her  mouth  shuts  ,  jaw  only  a  little  tight  .  she  means  it  .  at  least  ,  she  wants  to  .  she  wants  to  forgive  her  this  time  because  if  she  forgives  her  then  it  no  longer  matters  that  shayla  doesn't  care  about  her  ,  it  means  she  doesn't  care  either  …  that  she's  not  an  idiot  .

[shaylafm]

@shaylafm

[shaylafm]

"ugh i have enough relaxing days, it's called hanging out at my parent's house in the hamptons. i want to do something that's actually exciting." which was true, she spends more of her time of with her family, especially with her sister, emiri but right now she wanted to do more than sit there and watch charlie read a book. she would rather do something else but that's for another time. still, it doesn't seem like he's too far off of having the same idea when he moves closer. shayla knows better than to get involved in him though, charlie is already have a list bigger than hers and plus, it would ruin all the fun. she licks her lips as she moves in closer, her eyes looking down at his lips before back to his eyes, "just one? i can think of a million, how will i ever choose?"

“you said if i came with you, we were gonna have fun. i could’ve read a book at home. i’m on my day off and you decide to waste it away.” she rolls her eyes as she grabs him book to throw over to the other side of the picnic blanket. “yeah it is but you aren’t even entertaining me.”

[shaylafm]

shayla feels the only way that she can get through to alara was to be just as mean but she found that no matter what she said or how she said it or what she did to try and get alara to get past thing, thing will. along with family therapy she also opened up about all of her mistakes, she found that if alara wasn't ready, she couldn't make her. the guilt took a lot on her, the fact that she let one night ruin alara was something she wished she could take back. it's obvious that what she did hurt more than it should had. it caused years of pain and heartbreak and for shayla, it wasn't good. she felt like she had been a big part of why the other is still doing everything she can to hurt her and for years she let her but she can't keep putting herself through it anymore. it was too painful to watch the one person she used to be in love hurt this way.

"i've apologized, i have apologized hundreds of times. i asked what i could do for you to forgive me and i did that then you went and left. without even a fucking word and i get that i deserved it for putting you through it, i do. i would've done the same but you haven't let it go. you still continue to poke and hurt me and i let you because i know it's what you needed but i can't take it anymore. i can't keep being the reason you're always so angry at me, you either really forgive me this time or you stop this." she had really loved the other, the whole thing turned out to be a fucking mess and if shayla could, she would never done it. at least not while with alara, not when she was with someone she loved and admired. now, too much have past and she's done feeling stuck in the past. she can't help letting the guilt eat her up. if she did, she wouldn't be where she was, her career would've have made it and if alara keep this up, it would effect it too. so truth was, she needed to cut the other girl off if this is how their conversation will always turn to. she could be mean and say that alara is full of herself that she's pretty laughable for even saying those things out loud but she can't play this game any more, she doesn't have the strength to. so instead of going in circles and wanting to prove to alara that she has changed, she decides to be the bigger person. "i never said you weren't all those things but i'm not going to be defined by a mistake that i made when i was younger and stupid. alara, i know you loved me and i know i fucked it up by doing what i did but you can't say those things to me anymore. not when i'm not doing it to you."

it  was  that  familiar  look  on  the  others  face  that  made  her  blood  boil  hot  within  her  veins  ,  the  sensation  cruel  and  unpleasant  .  how  could  she  stand  there  and  smirk  at  a  time  like  this  ?  her  back  straightens  and  her  composure  is  faltering  ,  there  was  no  right  time  and  place  for  heartbreak  but  alara  felt  like  it  was  a  permanent  state  for  her  .  she  did  move  forwards  ,  she  reinvented  ,  reimagined  but  nobody  ever  seemed  to  understand  or  estimate  the  amount  of  thought  that  she  put  into  futures  that  never  materialised  .  how  many  times  could  you  watch  your  dreams  crash  and  burn  before  you  began  to  wonder  why  ?  "  you  didn't  need  time  to  get  over  it  .  you  seemed  pretty  over  it  when  you  had  someone  else's  dick  inside  of  you  and  let  me  find  out  by  the  whole  world  watching  it  via  twitter  like  an  onlyfans  premiere  ,  "  she  spits  ,  sudden  and  full  of  venom  .  there  was  something  beneath  it  though  ,  eyes  widen  with  hurt  .  it  didn't  matter  how  old  a  wound  was  ,  you  could  still  tear  it  open  .

"  you  stand  there  smirking  …  like  you're  such  a  good  person  because  you're  not  having  a  reaction  …  like  you're  not  still  mean  and  vicious  ,  "  oh  ,  alara  could  be  a  nice  kind  person  ,  an  angel  with  a  halo  in  the  eyes  of  others  or  someone  carefree  and  bursting  with  love  and  joy  .  she  was  born  with  a  nature  that  was  fluid  ,  spoiled  by  her  parents  and  taught  to  see  the  world  a  certain  way  and  yet  she  had  grown  rambunctious  as  she  grew  up  ,  unruly  and  free  spirited  .  she  followed  her  heart  and  it  had  led  her  back  to  shayla  time  and  time  again  but  that  didn't  mean  she  could  forgive  .  to  hurt  the  other  as  she  had  hurt  her  would  never  be  enough  ,  she  would  never  feel  how  alara  did  and  that  meant  they  would  never  be  on  an  even  playing  field  .  this  wasn't  a  game  ,  this  was  life  ,  "  you  broke  my  heart  ,  you  made  me  feel  like  less  …  less  of  everything  …  as  if  there  was  something  about  me  that  made  me  not  enough  for  you  …  "  she's  ranting  ,  eyes  wild  ,  hair  shaking  with  the  motion  of  her  head  ,  reaction  probably  deserved  in  some  ways  although  an  apology  for  her  own  later  actions  might  have  been  due  one  day  .  alara  could  never  move  past  that  initial  betrayal  to  begin  with  .  "  so  fuck  yeah  .  i  think  i'm  a  god  ,  i  think  you  lost  something  special  and  real  ,  "  she's  catching  up  with  herself  ,  the  point  she  is  trying  to  make  flimsy  and  floating  in  the  air  but  her  own  self  confidence  is  so  imbedged  in  her  identity  that  she  needs  to  hold  onto  it  .  she  had  built  a  fortress  around  her  heart  in  her  reinvention  ,  becoming  a  person  that  is  braver  ,  stronger  ,  less  serious  about  the  fantasy  of  a  happily  ever  after  (  with  anyone  )  .  the  art  of  letting  go  not  one  she  has  mastered  and  yet  she  knows  she  has  to  love  herself  because  it  seems  nobody  else  would  ,  "  i  am  special  .  i  am  important  .  and  nobody  will  love  you  as  much  ,  in  the  same  way  as  i  did  .  "

[shaylafm]

being around tristan before her career even started was easy, it was easy to just sneak out of her house and not care or worry what other people think. she didn't even care that her dad reminded her over and over he was no good but he was someone she cared about. how was she going to pretend that he wasn't her best friend through thick and thin? but after that video, after she had her dad do damage control and sent her away. she knew if she ever wanted a relationship with her family, things had to change and so she did. she didn't go out as often, she distanced herself from tristan and started to focus on her future. slowly pulling away from tristan had been hard, he was the one person outside of her family that believed in her, that had her back when she needed it. she doesn't think she would've have ever taken herself seriously enough to go to school and graduate and follow a passion she didn't know she wanted. being there for tristan was all she knew too, she showed up at every new york show, she cheered for him and on days when they weren't even talking, she made sure that she showed up for him then too.

now that he was back, she didn't have any reason to let him go. it's not that she's afraid of what her dad would say if he knew but the sex tape was something that they both did in the moment. it was stupid and reckless and something they should've thought about before ruining relationships. she had been sorry about it, if they were decent people at the time, they should've waited but all they thought in that moment was each other. "yeah and i'm mother teresa. i'm glad we have our facts in check," she rolls her eyes as she shook her head at the ridiculousness of his statement. "awe, you do have feelings, deep dark ones but i knew you missed me. i had a feeling i was your favorite person," she smiles cheeky. she pulls the shirt off to reveal her bikini, she missed the sun. the heat and all that came with being at the beach, "i swear i'm going home if you pull my whole body in."

tristan could respect that shayla was trying to do things a bit 𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 these days . the thing was , shayla's job really did take a certain respect . people expected a lot out of celebrities like her . that were in the public eye much more than someone like tristan . he felt as though he had nothing left to lose . a loose cannon , if you will . shayla on the other hand , there was more on the line . her relationship with her father , her career , not to mention he was sure in her eyes he was connected to a part of her life that she was 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐃 of . he knew she let what she did to her ex get to her more than she'd ever like to admit . something he couldn't blame her for . it was a 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓 they both carried . ❛ pfft , ❜ he began , stepping closer to the girl . raising his hand up he narrowed his eyes and pointed in her direction . ❛ i don't know what you're insinuating . i'm always innocent . ❜ it was a lie but he genuinely was glad they were spending time together again . at the end of the day , shayla had always been a part of tristan's life and he couldn't really see her not in his life in some capacity . ❛ maybe i'm just trying to convince you not to go ghost on my ass again and disappear . convince you to hang out with me even if it has to be when no ones watching . ❜ he wasn't saying anything in a way to guilt her about what happened . about them parting ways , her focusing in on her career and appeasing anyone that didn't want them around each other . protecting her image . he understood . shayla was someone he always gave the benefit of the doubt and supported no matter what . but he did miss his best friend . ❛ enough dwelling , let's go in the water ! there's no one here , it's late . c'mon ! ❜

[shaylafm]

"i feel like i heard that one too many times coming from you, it might need to come with a warning," keeping tristan a secret from her father wasn't as easy as she thought it would be. being seen together now, she was afraid pictures of them would come back to her dad. she missed having tristan around but that didn't mean that she was gonna let him pull her back into their old ways. she had to remind herself that she was an actress now, she had a lot on the line and that little video almost made it impossible to take her seriously in the first place. she needs to be treated like the professional she was. "see, that would sound innocent to anyone else but i know you too well."

(     ───      ) 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐇𝐎 + 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐀 𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐀 .

𝐰𝐡𝐨 : shayla , @shaylafm . 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 : beach .

❛ what people don't know , won't hurt them . ❜ tristan spoke , as he walked on the beach with shayla . he had 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐃 her to come out with him . after seeing her at the gala and being reminded of how much fun they had with each other . ( being reminded that they were friends before everything else . ) although , that didn't change the fact that her father didn't really like her around him and they had a very public tape around the internet . if their names were searched together because someone photographed them in public , there was a chance said tape would come back to the 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 . ❛ no harm in two old . . . buddies hanging out , right ? ❜ he asked , a smile on his face .

[shaylafm]

"the only person? what, do you think you're a god or something and i lost something so good and real? babe, trust me, i'm not regretting what i did right now." she did before all this mess though, she had felt the guilt eat her up and the only thing she could do was take it. it was one thing to have alara hate her, it was another to say she forgave shayla only to stab her in the back. still, she moved on. it was a lesson to be learned and she knew that she would never do something like that again. "you know, those words really would've hurt me coming from you years ago. might even put me in a state of being mean and vicious but you're nothing to me too. i've been over it, i moved on. i'm living my life while you're sadly still stuck in the past and obviously haven't been over me." she smirked, it was actually entertaining at this point.

hurt  people  hurt  people  .  alara  never  understood  what  she  had  done  wrong  to  deserve  to  be  cheated  on  by  shayla  .  she  had  no  choice  but  to  take  all  that  pain  and  hurt  and  turn  it  into  a  dagger  to  drive  back  through  the  others  heart  eventually  by  disappearing  without  a  trace  …  except  a  social  media  boom  .  her  jaw  tenses  almost  indiscernibly  ,  a  response  to  old  wounds  being  salted  by  the  comment  …  she  had  still  never  seen  that  tape  nor  cared  for  who  was  featured  ,  blocking  it  all  out  and  focusing  on  the  betrayal  .  "  i  hope  it  was  .  it  almost  makes  it  worth  losing  the  only  person  who  could  ever  love  you  ,  "  it  was  a  reach  but  sometimes  it  felt  true  ,  sometimes  she  wanted  it  to  be  the  case  that  nobody  would  love  her  ex  the  way  she  had  and  so  she  would  live  in  perpetual  regret  over  what  she  had  done  .  "  i  can't  believe  i  ever  wasted  my  time  on  you  .  you're  nothing  ,  "  maybe  she  didn't  believe  it  but  it  was  meant  to  cause  an  emotional  stir  ,  all  that  love  cremated  into  ashes  at  their  feet  .

[shaylafm]

shayla knows that what she did with tristan was no excuse, whatever she did, that was on her and with the way she and alara ended things she expected it. when she asked alara for another chance to be forgiven because she was stupid and it honestly hadn't meant anything to her, she was stupid to believe that everything was under the bridge. alara ended up breaking her heart, leaving her without even a call or text. shayla understands that she deserved it because a posted sex tape was way worse than getting ghosted but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. shayla let out a scoff before finishing her drink and setting it on the table, "well, if she did. she's probably having the best sex of her life."

the  thing  was  ,  as  much  as  al  found  it  impossible  to  forgive  shayla  ,  she  had  wanted  to  .  god  ,  she  had  told  herself  she  could  but  when  it  came  down  to  it  ,  she  wasn't  so  evolved  and  when  she  wanted  to  make  her  career  work  ,  her  own  resentment  had  bubbled  beneath  the  surface  .  she  hadn't  wanted  to  hurt  shayla  how  she  had  but  she  hadn't  wanted  to  not  hurt  her  ,  either  .  still  to  this  day  ,  a  part  of  her  wanted  shayla  to  feel  as  betrayed  as  she  had  that  first  time  they  broke  up  and  that  was  why  she  couldn't  leave  it  well  enough  alone  .  with  liquor  flowing  through  her  veins  and  self  confidence  ,  she  puts  the  brush  down  ,  "  you  were  ?  what  happened  ?  "  she  asks  as  if  genuinely  curious  ,  her  own  acting  abilities  coming  in  handy  as  she  stood  totally  upright  .  "  did  you  just  find  out  that  your  girlfriend  fucked  some  basic  emo  white  guy  behind  your  back  and  made  a  sex  tape  that  the  whole  world  except  for  you  has  seen  ?  "

[shaylafm]

"dason just asked me to be in her next video but i won't say anything more that, especially since she's a close friend. i don't want it ruin our friendship with details of it since no one even knows about it." she says, if it was about buffy or an upcoming movie, she definitely spilled a lot more. "why are you so interested in what i'm doing?"

(   ❝ 𝓼.   //   starter for @shaylafm  )

"so i'm just dying to know," simone started, her hand reaching out to rest on shayla's. "when's your next acting project coming out?" simone had become a little interested in the prospect of acting, but had never actually pursued it. the most acting she had ever done had been for her music videos; unless one counted the school musicals she had been in, which she didn't. "any insider tea on that?"

[shaylafm]

"you said if i came with you, we were gonna have fun. i could've read a book at home. i'm on my day off and you decide to waste it away." she rolls her eyes as she grabs him book to throw over to the other side of the picnic blanket. "yeah it is but you aren't even entertaining me."

status : closed / ( @shaylafm​​ ) location : a lovely little park !

     “ you stare at me any harder you’re going to burn holes directly through my skull. ” charlie made sure to finish his newest favorite line in the isabel allende book in front of him before lifting his head to look in shayla’s direction. “ am i boring you ? i thought nature was kinda your thing. ”

[shaylafm]

being on set for a movie or a tv show verses being on a music video was completely different. first being that it was faster and second, it was just way more fun but that could be because of dasom. she was always so pretty on set and it was a nice change to see someone else take the lead. "for you? i can find some time, i'm sure my manager would love it too. is it gonna be a continuation of your last one?"

EVEN THOUGH SHE already knew what shayla's answer would be , dasom was still a little bit nervous to ask . the other woman had been apart of productions for her music videos many times before in the past , she didn't see why she'd turn down this one . " i wanted to ask if you have a few days of free time available in the second week of june ? i'm filming the video for my next single and i'd love for you to be apart of it . " / @shaylafm

[shaylafm]

"god, i love that you have a jet. if that's the case we should go somewhere like cabo where the beaches are actually nice to look at," that would be better than florida which she was not about to suggest at these times.

"you and me both, babe." gemma chuckled, glad that they were both on the same wavelength. "of course! that sounds perfect and i can have a jet ready for us." she agreed. "a much needed break for real. and that's always more fun with a friend."

[shaylafm]

it was a good thing that shayla was an actress, she was able to save face when seeing alara make her way towards her. the thing was, no matter how she felt about the other, it was all a game to her and shayla has lived and learned that she's not the one to change alara's ways. so there's no point in having any kind of relationship with someone who didn't even bother to care for her own feelings. she been burned by the girl one too many times, one would say it's karma and maybe it is but shayla has changed since being that old version of herself. she wants to believe that she's a different person, a better person so she gathered herself up on the inside for what's about to come. "well, i was." she didn't even bother returning the question because wanted to end conversation as soon as possible.

( closed for : @shaylafm )

as  the  event  continued  on  ,  alara  had  spent  a  lot  of  time  with  different  people  ,  chel  seeming  to  disappear  into  the  crowd  and  the  interactions  she'd  been  part  of  fizzling  out  .  she  could  put  on  a  smile  for  cameras  ,  bounce  around  the  room  and  let  her  energy  out  into  the  universe  but  she  often  grew  bored  and  needed  to  move  on  .  she  was  unable  to  stay  static  for  too  long  these  days  ,  breaking  off  connections  and  pretending  to  be  unfazed  as  she  danced  through  the  life  she  was  building  as  a  musician  .  even  seeing  her  ex  -  girlfriend  seemed  to  do  little  to  cause  her  to  falter  in  her  plan  to  be  the  new  and  improved  big  al  ,  her  gaze  fixed  on  the  mirror  as  she  brushed  her  powder  carefully  into  her  cheek  in  reapplication  .  "  hey  .  are  you  having  a  good  time  ?  "