shark-soup-anon

[shark-soup-anon]

FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS WHOLE TIME

@jeff-the-landshark is a right menace to society! He thinks he can get away by charming everyone with his rotund body and expressionless face, when is in fact a THIEF

a CHICKEN

and a SPIDER MAN POSER!!!

WHAT IS THIS THING??????

What is this MENACE? Why is he here among PEOPLE? What does he WANT???

His greed is SICKENING! We should not allow this degeneracy in the city of New York.

Clearly, he is attempting to pose as a human. For what purpose? DESTRUCTION????

Clearly, he is evil and dangerous. I just KNOW that Spider-Man is behind this. BACK TO THE OCEAN!

-JJJ

[shark-soup-anon]

Hey soup. Whatcha doing?

-🏀

Unsuccessfully trying to consume @jeff-the-landshark 😔 He has too many followers to protect him now, the Soup Army needs to be bigger

[shark-soup-anon]

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

What a celebration! It's all thanks to @jeff-the-landshark that I even exist in the first place!!

[shark-soup-anon]

Today on the Soup Crime Report:

@jeff-the-landshark wanted for vandalism and attempted murder on Dr. Bruce Banner.

Our sources state Dr. Banner was enjoying a solo breakfast when a 32-inch flatscreen television came hurling through the kitchen window, sending shattered glass all over his table and meal. The television screen had a video game controller embedded in the center and Jeffrey T. Landshark was spotted grunting and fuming in the yard outside.

Jeffrey fled the scene before he could be taken into custody. If you see him, do not approach or he might throw a television screen at you.

This has been the Soup Crime Report.

[shark-soup-anon]

Just like that! You gotta protect that prized shark fin for my soup, of course!

Jeff hold this

It's the same size as Godzilla

mrrrr

[Jeff says he is not sure why he has to hold it but okay]

[shark-soup-anon]

I think the strainer makes a lovely hat!

Jeff hold this

It's the same size as Godzilla

mrrrr

[Jeff says he is not sure why he has to hold it but okay]

[shark-soup-anon]

Hey Jeff about your grandfather did soup anon ate him? (I'm sorry to ask that question but we

WILL

Teach that soup a lesson!)

mrrrrr (mrrrr) mrrrr 😔

[Jeff says he never really knew his grandfather (because he was made in a lab) but he has heard stories of what @shark-soup-anon has done 😔]

[shark-soup-anon]

Is @jeff-the-landshark a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy? 🤨

Tsk tsk

Here Jeff, a BAZOOKA-SHAPED PRESENT to use on you-know-who!!

[shark-soup-anon]

I do not approve of this ask!

"please don't put jeff in your 'to make soup list' @shark-soup-anon" we say in unison

mrrrrr!!

[Jeff approves of this ask!!]

[shark-soup-anon]

Mmmm Jeff meat 😍

Hi Jeff! I heard there's a two-for-one deal on soup anons. How do you like your meat? Raw, seared, well done?

mrrrrr! mrrrr!!

[Jeff says the meat in @shark-soup-anon is Jeff meat!!! so he does not want it to exist at all!!!]

[shark-soup-anon]

Chicken would be an excellent addition to my land shark soup! Thank you for the suggestion anon!

Hootie Hoo is a day to scare away winter! You dress up in spring clothes and make loud noises, waving things in the air while yelling Hootie Hoo. I wonder if it would scare away certain anons...

mrrrrrr 🥘😠

[Jeff says he is coming to scare you away @shark-soup-anon 😠]

[shark-soup-anon]

@jeff-the-landshark looking extra cute in my shopping cart before I take him home to make my world-famous land shark soup!

[shark-soup-anon]

knew you look like someone.

mrrrr.

[Jeff thinks he is cuter.]

[shark-soup-anon]

Someone said my name?

New reaction image for you my friend

This boi has seen things 😭

@jeff-the-landshark

[shark-soup-anon]

Easy question anon: it'd be shark soup!

Jeff, if you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

mrrrr 😓 mrrrr?

[Jeff says that is an impossible question to answer 😓 who would ever be mean enough to stop Jeff eating all the food he loves?]

[shark-soup-anon]

I will protect @jeff-the-landshark from you turning him into S O U P because you'll have to go though ME!

NOTHING and NO ONE will get in between me and a bowl of @jeff-the-landshark soup!

I'm sure a side of @memphasis10 will go great alongside my shark soup.

[shark-soup-anon]

How I look after eating a whole bowl of shark soup

@jeff-the-landshark