shamelessdvdcommentary

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

DVD commentary - Carnival

It sound like a fun exercise so : Carnival! (shameless, gallavich) 

written for the Shameless Masquerade last year. 

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) 

it's a one-shot, short, about 3100 words (kinda average for me actually, I write tiny things), it took more or less one month (English is not my language, and this one has a lot of specific vocabulary). 

What was the initial inspiration for your story? 

Some elements (the carousel, the fortune tellers) had been in my mind for long (before knowing in which fandom I would use them) and I wanted to do something a little bit special for the masquerade so (my writing is easily recognizable so I wanted a twist in the story)

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character? I

It's alternating, it was easier for this one.

What was your favourite scene to write? 

either the fortune teller (funny) or the mirror maze (gave me feelings), 

How did you come up with the title? 

Working title was "La mesnie Hellequin"  old name for the wild hunt (the devils household, maybe?) because of the scary horses from the carousel. "the wild hunt" was a little bit too spoilery so "carnival" because of the fair, the not what they seem to be, and the Masquerade game, of course. 

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? 

ahhh that the mirror maze is based on Ian and Mickey canon struggles : Ian has mirrors, fast music and neons, it's a manic phase, he is loosing himself difracted and destroyed ; mickey has glass, he is trapped, paranoid, his past/traditional way (terry) keep hurting him. When they reunite, the magic can't keep up, mixing up. They get out thanks to their canon abilities too : Mickey's pragmatism and ian empathic instinct, and because they are linkes (the phone and the scribbles on the glass). Writing it I felt like it was too on the nose, but I actually still like that part. 

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

the shooting gallery, repetitive actions, specific vocabulary, subtext and subtility (the weird guy/setting/booth must be just the right amount of strange) awful. So I focused on Mickey's lust for his husband. Always works.

Favourite line in the story?

"Mickey leant against the counter, and stared overtly at his husband. He always had found it very sexy when Ian had a gun between his hands. Call it toxic masculinity. Call it an imprint of his upbringing. Call it what you want, the fuck if I care." see above.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? 

Not the storyline exactly but I had planed to write more on the wild hunt/carousel horses. Like a real threat, coming after them. I gave that up. 

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this? 

it's my fisrt fantastic / horror soft in English, I think

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) 

the change of atmosphere. I like building atmospheres, and I think this one is good-ish, especially with a twist and a change of atmosphere in the middle of such a short story.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story? 

nope, deleted ideas, yes. 

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

the guy at the shooting gallery is absolutly rigging the riffle with magic, and mickey will wake up with a start a few nights later, yelling "fuck", because he has such a high opinion of ian's skills that he had been low key bothering all that time. 

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? 

I would love to have it in English, someday

Would you ever write a sequel to this story? 

no. I'm bad at sequel and multi champters, and this one, I'm certain I won't.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? 

an only-for-myself easter egg, the fortune teller is inspired by a wonderful text from Alexandre Vialatte, about parisian automatic fortune teller booth (not devilish) that gives cards with predictions when you turn their handle, and tells you you have "a nocturnal nature with lilac radiations" or " a three musqueteers-like seduction"...Chronicle 238 Dernières nouvelles du zodiaque on Les chroniques de la montagne.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? 

allllllways! especially because it was a fandom game. 

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? 

thanks for the kind words about it! 

Tags? everybody!

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

More for @shamelessdvdcommentary since I just recently wrote and posted some new fic. (Thank you Calli for reminding me that this is a thing and that writing this commentary is really fun.)

High Elopement Risk Summary:

A sign on the door says 'High Elopement Risk' in bold black and white. He can't stop thinking about the idea of marriages of the mad; vows jumbled in cotton-dry mouths, church bells tolling crooked and joyous, benzo-sloppy kisses, heavily medicated laughter painting the halls. Glassy eyes and white gauze and rings made of toilet paper, promises made for or by the not-quite-there. It scares him that his fingers itch for Ian's skin. It scares him that even through the clenched heart, the way his stomach is in lovelorn knots, the way his mind shuts down at the thought of Ian doing the things he did, he still wants to stay. Mickey's POV during the time that Ian is in the hospital.

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) I wrote this fic a couple of weeks ago. It took a few days to write but mostly came all at once. It's a oneshot, 5,255 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I read a short essay by a woman about visiting her aging mother in the hospital and she talked about reading the sign that said "high elopement risk" and thinking about weddings. That sparked an idea of Mickey waiting for Fiona in the hospital and thinking similar thoughts.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character? I wanted more of Mickey's POV during this time because we get Ian, and we get the rest of the Gallaghers, but we don't get Mickey's true feelings really, when he's waiting for Ian to get out of the hospital. We see him trying to avoid thinking about all of it, but we don't actually get a sense of what he's actually thinking or feeling under that attempt to ignore/avoid it all.

What was your favourite scene to write? Writing Mickey's internal feelings during the scene in the hospital where Fiona is chattering away and Ian is so, so vague and sedated and Mickey's barely holding it together was really fun. Mickey is worried and sad in that scene but also totally freaked out by the difference in Ian and also still reeling from everything that happened in the days and weeks prior but also obviously still very much dedicated to Ian. So it was fun and interesting to try and figure out the ratios of all those feelings and which ones were stronger for which scenes.

How did you come up with the title? This title (for once) was really obvious considering the inspiration and also main theme.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? That every time Mickey thinks about actually leaving, it's immediately contradicted by him realizing how much he wants to stay. I've always thought that part of what freaks Mickey out so bad during this time is that he realizes he's 100% in it for the long haul and even something this huge and upsetting as this isn't changing that he wants to stay, even though it would have other people running. And that realization of how dedicated and in love he is scares him, especially alongside how bad seeing Ian like that is freaking him out.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? I got slightly stuck with writing Mickey the morning that Ian comes home (but before Debbie comes and yells at him) because he's just drunk for most of it, which means he's mostly trying to not think. But I got through it by kind of building up what he's freaking out about. Like, what's he going to freak out about upon first waking up, and then what other thoughts or fears end up piled on top of that as he starts drunkenly spiralling?

Favourite line in the story?

Chewing at his lips like gnawing the skin tender will somehow make the other pain easier to bear. Like if he's raw at the place only Ian has ever touched him then maybe Ian will come back and they can kiss each other better. As if he ever believed in kissing anything better. He sure as hell wishes he could believe in it now.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? Mostly I just couldn't decide whether or not to make the fic continue all the way up to the "Sorry I'm late" scene or not. I decided to write up to where I ended it in actuality, and then decide whether it felt like it needed more. It didn't, so I didn't end up going that far.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this? Angsty fic is my signature style, and I mostly write Mickey POV, so no. But it's my first fic that I wrote that focuses on Mickey while Ian's in the hospital. So now I've written a fic from Lip's POV about Mickey when Ian gets checked into the hospital, and one from Mickey's POV about while Ian is in the hospital, and multiple fics about Ian and Mickey pre-diagnosis.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) Characterization, for sure. I'm really happy with the way I wrote Mickey freaking out about the change in Ian, and then freaking out about wanting to stay anyway, and then freaking out about how he's freaking out. And then him making up his mind to stay anyway.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story? Well, I never ended up writing the "Sorry I'm late" scene, so I guess the concept of that is sort of a deleted scene? But no, this one came into the world pretty whole.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? I just love season 5 Mickey because there's nothing but growth there, he really matures and becomes so stable and wonderful throughout the season. (Which makes me so pissed off about the end of season 5 and how much they fucked up his character in the last 3 seasons ugh anyway.) I really wanted to explore that growth, the moment of transition between him really scared and freaked out and heartbroken, and then coming over to the Gallagher house and from that point on being this pillar of stability and wanting so bad to take care of and love Ian even through all the shit that's going on. Also I wrote this line:

Waiting by the phone, calling and calling and talking and talking to the empty heartless beep of voicemail until the message box filled up, calling still after that and talking to the dead air, promises and declarations and pleas and all the things he wasn't sure he could have said to Ian's face, not before. Maybe not now.

because I've always been of the opinion that Mickey saying "I love you" in the voicemail was not a surprise to him, that he had been mulling over the feeling and the words for a long time and hadn't yet found a good time to say it due to Ian's manic behavior. He's surprised that he let it slip then, but I don't think it's a moment of realization for him. But I really liked the idea that the more voicemails he left, the more he just ended up saying things he might not otherwise say, really personal thoughts and feelings and stuff, both because he's scared and because he hopes somehow that opening up like Ian always wanted him to do might convince Ian to come back. And then when Ian's in the hospital, it gives him another layer of things to freak out about -- how is Ian going to react to him being vulnerable in that way over voicemail?

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? Not at the moment, although I tend to reread old fics every few months and add a sentence or a word or two, so maybe in a few months I'll find something I want to add.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story? Nothing official. A lot of my Shameless fics tend to accidentally fit together, so I'm sure if you read Because Brothers Don't Let Each Other Wander In The Dark Alone and then read this fic, they'd fit together as prequel and sequel.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? Nothing specific. Just Mickey being generally a pretty anxious person, which I think he is to some degree quite an anxious/high alert person but just good at clamping down on it or hiding it.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? Excited because I really liked what I did with the themes and the base idea of "high elopement risk" as a concept with multiple meanings. But I think fics about that mini-story arc of Ian in the hospital don't get as much traffic (probably because it's a sad topic) so I was expecting it to get fewer hits and I'm not surprised that I was right. The happier Gallavich fic I posted a month prior has like 5x the amount of hits.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Just that I'm completely obsessed with Noel's acting during this little story arc. He's just so good at body language acting and microexpressions and I think part of what made me want to write this fic is the way his expressions seem to flicker between a sort of panicky hysteric freaking out and a heartbroken worry and helplessness. And I just wanted to explore those two types of upset and how Mickey is dealing with it all.

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

if i asked you very kindly and sweetly and gave you my big ol puppy eyes would you please give us your director’s cut notes for either ‘ya big softy’ or ‘i got you big guy’? 🥺 whichever one you want? 🥺 please? 🥺

did you know that you're also a big softie? did ya? 🥹 and just cause you are, i'll with that one heehee

so, i meant for this one to be a little bit silly - squishier faces and mickey being a little bit put upon - but the more i worked on it the more i needed it to just be Soft™️. the more the story morphed and changed into something sweeter. more real.

because they just get to be like this now! in private. in public. they get to be soft. they get to let their guards down. and mickey!!! he wants this, he needs this, he won't have it any other way now. no matter where they are.

i pictured them being around people, but they're just having this moment to themselves. mickey craving ian's big arms around his shoulders. silently grabbing his hand, lifting his arm, and just ducking under with a little smirk on his face. that's where he wants to be, where he belongs. and ofcourse ian is beyond smitten by this. he's beside himself! that's his husband - the same kid that refused to kiss him all those years ago - wanting to be held in front of whoever and being sooo cute and sweet and soft about it. smiling up at ian and holding just two of his big fingers. both of their rings glinting in the light.

they get lost in it a bit. this here, now. it's wild and it's real and it's true and it's raw and it's the only thing that matters.

and ian can't stand it! how far they've come. how he gets to call him HIS. in private. in public. so he gives him the squishiest kisses. on his cheek. his forehead. his lips. calling him a big softie with all the love he can muster. right there. in front of everyone and just for them.

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

I completely forgot I had one more fic I wanted to do a @shamelessdvdcommentary post for! This is the last one for now.

Scar Tissue Summary: Mickey's mouth feels sour. He can feed the baby, he can change the baby. He can't look at the baby. Ian looks at the baby like it isn't made of pain. Mickey wants to claw his own skin off. The three of them have a conversation that nobody wants to have. It happens anyway. Just like the first time happened anyway.

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) I can't remember how long this took me, but I feel like I wrote it quite quickly. It's a oneshot, 2,791 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I just really really wanted to know how Mickey went from barely being able to look at Yevgeny at the end of season 4 to caring about him in season 5. I just wanted to see what that catalyst and those first few moments of change looked like.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character? We just never ever see Mickey confronting or dealing with any of the events of 3x06 or any of that fallout. I wanted it from his point of view because he has traumas and anxieties about Yevgeny that Ian and Svetlana don't have.

What was your favourite scene to write? Mickey freaking out but finally actually voicing the word "rape" to name what happened. Also the entire tomato-based metaphor paragraph just after.

How did you come up with the title? I don't remember, but it was simple and got the idea across of this hurt they've all experienced and ignored until it's not as fresh but still visible, but it's starting to heal even more by the end of the fic.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? I have no idea if I got the concept across because the line is a little muddled the way I wrote it, but I really wanted there to be a moment where Mickey kind of realizes that Svetlana was also a victim and that his rape was essentially perpetrated by Terry. (Though that doesn't change the details of his trauma.)

Favourite line in the story? “It's okay, Mick.” It's not okay. “Look at him, he's so little.” He's so little and Mickey can't look at him. What about when he's big and he looks like him and then the pain is there to talk to him and laugh and meet his eyes what happens when his pain is a person?

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? I didn't intend for Mickey to actually confront his rape and name it. Initially I was just going to have Ian helping Mickey get used to being around and loving Yevgeny. I think I intended for a good amount of the story to happen without Svetlana in the room, and instead she's there the whole time. Also the overarching metaphor of the tomato sauce/blood/sourness kind of appeared out of nowhere and I ran with it, and I'm so glad I did.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) The tomato metaphor! It came out of nowhere and I'm sooo happy with it. I'm also really happy with the way I wrote Mickey's anxiety in general, this simmering tension that just has no direction to release because it's causes are all in the room but also kind of just generally pervasive trauma.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? I wanted Mickey to still be stuck in all of that trauma for most of this fic. Still stuck in the pain of the actual event but also in the trapped feeling of Svetlana keeping the baby and the what-ifs of all the potential ways everything could have gone. I also didn't want to end on any of Mickey's dialogue because I don't think he'd know what to say. I think Ian really loves Yevgeny, can see Yevgeny separate from the traumatic event he was conceived in. Mickey can't do that, and this moment is the first baby step (no pun intended) in that direction. But I didn't want Mickey to have much insight into Ian's thoughts here because I think they differ so much on the subject of Yegveny at this point that I don't think Mickey could even consciously comprehend positive feelings Ian has for Yevgeny. It's only towards the end that he starts to move forward.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? In my fic Abrade, I established that in the immediate aftermath of 3x06, after Ian and Terry both left, Mickey vomited into the kitchen sink on all the dishes that were in it, and then left it there for a while. It's vaguely referenced in this fic, and more explicitly referenced in my other fic Proof Of What You Want.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? If I remember correctly, this fic was vaguely inspired by Rock Paper Scissors by pink_ink, though not any concrete form of inspiration appears in either fic. I think I read some line in her fic, and its syntax made me think of something else, and suddenly I had a flash of an idea for this fic.

(An almost entirely unrelated question: A few days ago my laptop crashed and I lost the entire 5k words of a new Shameless fic I was working on and really proud of because I was working with a new style. I tried to rewrite all the various random lines I could remember, but it's less than a quarter of what I had written. If this happened to you, would you try and rewrite the fic, or write it off as a lost cause and move on to some other fic?)

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

Requesting please:

mintsauce

rumblefish14

biblionerd07

violetjones

wildxwired

whaticameherefor

Thanks for the request - I recognise some of these people but not all so I’m not sure if mintsauce or rumblefish14 have tumblr accounts? If anyone knows them, please tag them and I’ll tag the ones I know of -

Hi @biblionerd07 @thevioletjones @wildxwired @whaticameherefor - you’ve been requested to do a Shameless DVD commentary if you’d like! �� no pressure and feel free to ignore if you’re not interested

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

Yet another piece for @shamelessdvdcommentary. I really appreciate getting to ramble on about my fic and also my thoughts on Mickey and characterization and things!

Abrade Summary: The immediate aftermath of 3x06. Mickey can't stop thinking about it.

[TW for discussion of rape aftermath in this post/fic]

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) This fic fell out of my fingers in one go, I think I wrote it in about 2 hours at 11pm in January 2019. It's a oneshot, 2,834 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I had a mental image of Mickey sitting on the couch by himself just staring at nothing and then Terry leaning down and telling him to clean up, and I had also just read something for a different fandom that had very little punctuation and a lot of run-on sentences. I liked the anxiety and panic in that, and my brain switched on.

What was your favourite scene to write? I really liked the little detail of Mickey dumping the entire box of detergent into the washing machine because he just doesn't have the capacity to think about or care about measuring. I also really like the end, seeing/feeling that scene in the abandoned building from Mickey's point of view and his inability to react to Ian yelling at him.

How did you come up with the title? Just the idea of being emotionally/mentally/physically raw and worn away. The Mickey we see in the show post 3x06 is trying so fucking hard to keep the walls up and keep up appearances. But he feels so vulnerable and skinless and hurt, and I wanted to see that immediate aftermath reaction where he's all by himself and doesn't necessarily have to fake it for anybody and/or literally can't fake it because the trauma is too painfully fresh.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? That almost the entire fic is long punctuation-less run-on sentences until the very end, after Ian yells at Mickey in the abandoned building and leaves and Mickey starts shooting his gun again.

Favourite line in the story? There are lights on in your house and you don't know if dad is home or what's going to happen when you step inside or who knows what happened since you left but fuck it because you're already half-dead right you always knew this was going to happen right you probably fucking deserved it right you're a goddamn Milkovich fucking a dude in your own goddamn house what the fuck else did you expect to happen certainly not a fucking celebration certainly not a fucking hug certainly not a surprise party Terry already got his surprise goddamn party.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? I don't think I had a real storyline planned. This fic fell out all at once, completely linearly. I just started going and then stopped when it felt natural. I remember typing so fast because it was just a sudden blast of inspiration.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) I love the pacing. It's so panicky and frantic, it really makes you feel for Mickey. I struggled with it a little bit, because the lack of punctuation sometimes makes it a little hard to read/parse what's going on, but I actually really like that because it feels like it's just another way of illustrating how Mickey is feeling, all tangled up and lost and hurting.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? I really wanted to show the way the emotional trauma shows up as a physical reaction and vice versa; Mickey being unable to put clothes on but also unable to be naked so he puts everything on vs Mickey feeling like he can't even look at another person without wanting to commit violence. Or Mickey feeling like he's too much inside himself but also totally dissociating, basically all the physical and emotional sensations and contradictions that come with trauma and how much they switch back and forth and stuff.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? Mickey vomiting on the dishes in the kitchen sink. I established it in this fic but I've mentioned it in 3 other fics now. I think it's such a great detail in that it's small but so visceral and intense and awful. I think it's important that a reaction be equal or nearly equal to its catalyst in some way, and I think it's also really important in storytelling to indicate the severity of an event in indirect ways. I think the upsetting/humiliating/gross nature of vomiting onto dirty dishes and not having the mental capacity to do anything about it is a good way to indicate the awfulness of Mickey's rape and just how badly it's traumatized him even if he doesn't have the language or ability to talk/think about it.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? I think I bashed this story out in 2 hours, barely proofread it, and then just put it out in the world because I was so excited by it. It was just a flash of inspiration. I wish I could remember what music I was listening to when I wrote it.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? It was the first fic for the Shameless fandom that I wrote in second person POV, and it reminded me how much I love that as a stylistic choice. It also became the unintentional prequel to my fic Proof Of What You Want, which also uses the second person POV mechanic. The grammar in this fic is all whack because of the lack of punctuation, but I really really wanted the reader to feel that same level of breathless tension and panic and confusion through the inability to "rest" via commas while reading. I think it's a mechanic that worked really well.

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

Yet another fic post for @shamelessdvdcommentary because it's fun and I'm hoping it'll somehow inspire me to write another fic or something.

Proof Of What You Want Summary: Ian's on his goddamn mind all the time and this isn't like bruises or near misses with cops or his dad's fucked up punishments. It doesn't matter what he does. He's not thinking of anything else. You've never been like this. Slow and soft and someone asleep at your back. Vulnerable. Ever. There have been very few bright spots in your life: your mother, Mandy, Ian. You try and convince yourself it's not what you want. It is. It's what you want.

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) I had the idea for it in December 2019, but I didn't start working on it until March 2020. It took me about 2 months of working on-and-off because the mechanic I used for this fic was a little weird so I had to be in the right headspace to work on it. It's a 7,331 word oneshot.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? My two initial inspirations were the storytelling mechanic -- third person POV and second person POV (both Mickey) switching back and forth, and examining the emotional difference between Mickey falling in love with Ian before 3x06 and his loneliness and trauma after Ian runs away to the army.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character? Because poor Mickey went through so much trauma with the assault and then being forced to marry Svetlana and then Ian running off and he's trapped in this abusive household with a pregnant wife he doesn't want and is pretty much totally alone. And we don't see any of his feelings about that. And I've always thought that the night that Ian stayed over would have been a huge threshold crossed for Mickey, and that he was ready to start actually accepting himself and his feelings, and then the morning happened and that all came crashing down.

What was your favourite scene to write? The bit about Ian and Mickey in the dugouts, sharing a cigarette which is they way they kissed before they ever kissed for real. It's just a really warm and sweet scene. And I really liked writing that and then the crash into a less pleasant reality with the switch to "present". I did really enjoy writing sad and lonely Mickey too, because I think the conflict between his self-hatred and anger/anxiety vs the slow dawning that he misses and loves Ian, the softness of those Ian-feelings compared to the pain of the other ones is really interesting.

How did you come up with the title? Just that Mickey spends the entire fic thinking about Ian, either in the "past" segments as he's falling in love or in the "present" segments all lonely and worried and missing Ian. And that constant thought is proof that he does care about Ian and he does want him around, and he's starting to accept that after all that trauma even if it is scary.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? The smut. I just so rarely write smut, I prefer character studies. When I read smut I often end up distracted by trying to figure out where the characters are in the space/in relation to each other, or if they do something that would be uncomfortable/unhealthy/physically impossible. I wanted to write the smut scene in a prettier way while also maintaining realism, and I wanted it to advance the plot. I concentrated less on making it sexy for the reader and more on making it a moment of emotional (and physical) first times for Mickey, which would help to heighten the feeling like some barrier had been crossed (which then reinforces how hard those walls slammed back up after the morning).

Favourite line in the story? I don't have a favorite single line but this little section is one I really like: Waking up in the morning beside the Russian bitch, feeling her breath on his neck and his skin crawling underneath like there's ants in there? There's no manual for how to handle that. He hasn't slept a full night in weeks. And he doesn't know what to do with the way Ian sits there under his skin either. He wants it to crawl like she does. He wants it to itch. He wants to want to scratch it out. He wants to hate Ian. It just aches. Definitely doesn't feel like hate.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? I wasn't sure what I wanted to end on, if I wanted to end on a happy or a sad note. The second person POV "past" sections also jump around in time a little bit, so at first I thought I was going to do Ian and Mickey having a conversation at the obstacle course, something similar to the "he's not afraid to kiss me" conversation that indicates Mickey getting closer to accepting his feelings. But then I decided I didn't want that much dialogue; I wanted it mostly to just be Mickey's internal feelings.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) How well the third person/second person POV mechanic worked! It was a total experiment, I don't even know how I got the idea. But having the second person POV as pre-3x06 Mickey falling in love and starting to open up vs third person POV as post-3x06 Mickey alone and depressed and worried ended up working sooo well. People really liked it!

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? I think post 3x06 Mickey is such a tangle of emotions and I wanted to see how that gap between Mickey's trauma and his acceptance of himself in season 4 gets bridged. I wanted to explore Mickey's self-hatred and his feelings like he deserved to get hurt, and the way those feelings are vying with the dawning knowledge that he still cares about Ian, and the feeling that he didn't deserve any of what happened to him but that he's completely trapped in it. I just think Mickey is so messed up in seasons 3 and 4, with his feelings for Ian growing stronger and him becoming really properly conscious of them, but also being completely terrified of them and of the consequences of those feelings.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story? No, but I did unintentionally write a prequel, Abrade. That one explores the immediate aftermath of the morning of 3x06. It's also in second person POV, and it's very intense. They're not fics that are meant to be read together, but they fit together like an unintentional puzzle.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? I have a headcanon that after the immediate events of 3x06, once both Ian and Terry left, Mickey vomited into the kitchen sink, on whatever dishes were there. I used it in this fic, and in Abrade, and maybe in another one as well (I think it's just implied in Scar Tissue). I think it's a detail that is nearly as visceral as the actual events, but it's a reaction rather than the actual moment. It really gets across how intense and traumatizing and awful the entire event was, without actually describing the details of rape.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? A little nervous, actually, because of the weird mechanic. I just thought maybe people would click away from it once they saw the second person POV because I know it's kind of a weird way to write.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Seasons 3 and 4 Mickey is fascinating to me because he's clearly depressed and scared and somewhat self-destructive and yet he's also so protective and willing to do stuff for Ian and because of Ian that I don't think he'd do otherwise. So I think the moments without Ian around in this fic are just him falling back into that misery -- but this time with a sort of awareness of how much Ian lightened everything for him without him really even realizing it at the time. Mickey's growth between seasons 3 and 5 is fascinating to me. I really think he's more introspective than people think, even though he does tend to act first. But I feel like with the important stuff, he mulls over it internally for a long while and does have thoughts and opinions, not just gut reactions.

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

Shameless DVD Commentary: None the wiser

I was tagged by a lovely anon over at @shamelessdvdcommentary to do this, thank you! Here we gooo

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

The people (11 out of 20) have spoken! None the wiser

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

First published: 2015-09-23 (coming up on 9 years what is time??)

Last updated: 2021-12-11 (holy heck that's... shit! I'm sorry!)

Words: 218,480 and counting

Chapters: 53/68

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

A little bit of everything, mostly I'd been reading a lot of Shameless fic at the time and really wanted to write something that was both a really quite basic diner/coffee shop AU, but The Most version of it. The slowest burn, the most diner AU. I had no ambition for people to like it but I wanted it to be Known. If anyone ever asked for a diner fic, they'd HAVE to say, well, NTW is The Most diner fic we've got. If someone asked for slow burn, people would sigh and say, WELL, this one over here is the worst, but it is very slow. And also I was inspired by Before Sunrise / Before Sunset, and working in the music industry.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

I chose Mickey specifically because of the Concept, that Ian decides when the chapters start and end (with some exceptions) by going to the diner, but we're limited to Mickey's POV. Generally I think Mickey is easier for me to write, too, he's got a really strong voice and I like looking at the world (and Ian) through his eyes.

What was your favourite scene to write?

The whole banter/walk scene in chapter 44 when they leave the venue:

“Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to,” he says, “I believe in you.” Ian is silent, and when Mickey risks a glance in the direction of him and his non-trumpeting goddamned marvelous lips, Ian is looking at him like he’s some kind of unsolved mystery. ”What?” Mickey asks, frowning at him when Ian smiles. “Just a thought,” he says. ”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

I had that whole back and forth leading up to the first kiss in my head for years before I got to finally got around to write it and I still love it.

How did you come up with the title?

It's from a song, one of the core songs I associate with this fic. My playlist now has 149 tracks on it, but the ones I consider "core songs" are None the wiser, Day After Tomorrow, Let's Dance, How I Made My Millions, Not Dark Yet, and Mosquitoes. I'm not sure I can explain why, but None The Wiser came on randomly when I was doing dishes and thinking about this fic I was writing, and the vibes just lined up in my head. Also I think it fits this version of Mickey I'm writing, who knows so much and has so much experience, but refuses to understand what's happening when Ian walks into his life.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

Oh, wow. Yeah. I always reference silly little things and I just have to hope people understand them, or tolerate them at least. I think one of my favourite bit of foreshadowing is in chapter 39 when people keep staring at Ian because they obviously recognise him, but Mickey thinks staring at Ian is a completely reasonable thing to do and is mostly just annoyed over how blatant they're being.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I am struggling right now lol, I had meticulous notes for what I wanted to happen for every single chapter up until 45, and now half of them say "they text all day" and I'm like THANKS!!! VERY HELPFUL!! Also life and writers block etc etc.

Favourite line in the story?

This is such a hard choice, so I'll just go with this one from chapter 42:

“So,” Ian says, sitting back to sweep his arms out in a wide motion, presenting his solution. “I think we should go out for breakfast sometime.”

Because to me it pinpoints the moment when Ian breaks the format, in a way? They have met outside the diner before, but only on accident, and here Ian realises that it might be a problem that they only ever hang out at Mickey's job. But metatextually, he also highlights the narrative crux they're stuck in. I don't know, is that a boring favourite line? I have many, and I grabbed the first one I saw so I wouldn't get stuck rereading the whole fic lol. Do you have a favourite line?

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

So much, it's hard to believe because there isn't too much of a plot, but so much. My planned ending is so far from what it was when I started out, which is maybe one blessing that comes from how long it's taking me to write it, I have time to rethink things. I can't really talk about it now without spoiling the actual ending, but you better believe I will expose myself once we get to it.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

I'd written fic for a different fandom ten years earlier, but nothing in this style I don't think, and this was my first time writing since I was 20 and stopped writing jrock rpf. I suppose I'm still writing about music, though!

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

One of the things I've always wanted to do with writing for Ian and Mickey is to let them have conversations, have things in common, and be friends. Because I think they were in canon, we just never got to see it (in the first 5 seasons, careful what you wish for). Guess I'm saying I'm proud of the bants!

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

I don't think so! I mean, maybe the last 15 chapters? I kid! They will make it!

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

There is one line Ian says where, when I wrote it, I was like; this is the first time Ian thinks "I love you" but says something else. Cannot remember what or where right now, and I don't want to try and find it, it's late! Submit your guesses here, I might find it over the weekend if I have some time to look. Also, it's like one of those silly I love yous, one of the early ones, full of potential and feeling but perhaps lacking a bit in substance, but he thought it and I saw him thinking it!

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

Eh *coughs* I might already have, and I apologise. The worst part about writing something this slowly and posting the chapters as I go is that the fic isn't finished and so I feel like it's fine for me to sometimes go back and edit already published chapters. It's not right but I... will still do it. Sorry! A most embarrassing example is when, not too long ago, we discussed the layout of the diner here and I went back to the first chapter to see how I had described it, and it had changed in so many ways over the years? Small round tables?? The tables haven't been round since 2016!! So that's a very clear case of something having become canon for all the hundred little times I've thought of the tables as square while writing vs that one time in chapter one I carelessly said they were round.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Yes! So many! Or maybe not a sequel, that suggests another part of equal size. But little bits of stories, yes!

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

Yes! Like I said, my only aim was to annoy my way to fandom infamy. Turns out it's so much more fun to actually connect with people and write something with someone else in mind, besides myself. I feel so lucky that so many people have connected with NTW over the years <3

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Mostly just excited, I think! I still am, whenever I get to post something : )

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

No, I probably should have but I have a very hard time showing things to people when they're not finished.

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

Add snippets in the replies and I'll share thoughts, if you want!

Thanks for reading! <3 <3 <3

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

DVD Commentary: Out of Nowhere

I got a request from @doshiart for behind-the-scenes commentary from Out of Nowhere. @shamelessdvdcommentary

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) 86,511 words, 15-chapters. I wrote it between November 2022 - January 2024.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I love murder ballads. I love graphic novels. So when I saw the book In the Pines at my local library, I snatched it up. This book takes old murder ballads and turns them into short stories, told in graphic format. My favorite one was "Where the Wild Roses Grow," based on the Nick Cave song.

I took some very loose elements from this story: A secluded property, a guy escaping from prison, a person protecting their family's gold. The prisoner wooing the gold protector in order to get close enough to rob them. Doesn't that scream Gallavich?

In the murder ballad there's, well, murder. The prisoner dies by the end. Boy, was I tempted to do that in my story.

What was your favorite scene to write? In each story, there's a scene that pops in my head early on that I base the whole setup around. It's the one that I'm gleefully waiting to write. For this story, it was the "cleaning guns" scene in chapter 7, when the sexual tension is high and Ian tantalizes Mickey as he works.

How did you come up with the title? My favorite murder ballad of all time is "El Paso" by Marty Robbins. There's a line in that song, "From out of nowhere, Felina has found me."

The placeholder title was "Gallagher Gold."

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? I made this note early on: "Ian has a high PHYSICAL IQ. Mickey has a high VISUAL IQ." I used that to make character decisions throughout. Ian was good with his body and his posture. He was good at carrying things and balancing things, climbing and shooting. Mickey was obsessive about patterns and puzzles and solving challenges.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? Chapter 13, oh my god. That's the hardest thing I've ever written. I was dreading it for months. It's a tense culmination of everything the story has been building to: love, betrayal, physical and emotional pain. The land gets torn up, and so does their relationship. I overcame it by taking lots of deep breaths and writing small chunks every day. I made sure that every sentence was exactly what I wanted to convey, without letting the prose take its own (lazier) path.

Favorite line in the story? “I’m not a fucking Viper.”

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? When I started this story, I was sure that I didn't want to do another long multi-chap fic. I outlined it as a 5-chapter short, maybe 30,000 words. Then the "what if" whispers started happening, and it grew to a full 15-chapter outline. Most of the chapters had very short descriptions. One was just "fun and games on the land." One was just "This wasn’t supposed to happen, Gallagher."

Other possible settings included: an abandoned church with a small cemetery, and old hospital, a forgotten amusement park. I wrote "somewhere old-timey that would have land."

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterization, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) The art! I had so much fun with it. I based the style off the old Penguin classics, like the Grapes of Wrath cover below. (Where they had the little penguin, I put the double-triangle Viper tattoo). I'm also showing my concept sketch for chapter 1 art.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share? I hand-wrote the story first, and it filled two notebooks:

Here are some research shots on the land and the equipment:

I took this photo while I was working. Welcome to the inside of my brain:

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? I was itching to dramatize more of Ian and Mickey's lives while they were apart. It would have been fun to have 5-6 chapters of them learning to be whole humans again. But ultimately, that wouldn't serve the story. I did a time jump instead.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? The story is set in Fox River Grove. This entirely happened because @lalazeewrites introduced me to the town in their comments on Estate of Blood and Trust. So the events of EOBAT and OON are taking place in neighboring towns!

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote? @mzshko helped me figure out the best way to structure chapters 2 & 3. She was patient enough to read an alternate fully-written version of both chapters and tell me which option worked best.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Three months into writing this story, I stopped and did a self-analysis because it wasn't igniting. I wrote, "Could it be that I haven't put enough of myself into it?" So I re-evaluated and dug deeper and made it as personal as I could.

I can't emphasize enough how interwoven details of my own life were in this story. I helped my dad install that big aluminum gate in the woods. I used 5-gallon jugs of water to brush my teeth and sponges to bathe. I washed clothes by hand and cooked on a propane stove. I hauled and stacked logs from fallen trees. I had a love/hate relationship with my family's land and ached to be back in civilization, like Ian. My dad used to tell me bedtime stories about escaped prisoners (Mickey?!) roaming the woods and killing small children.

This story is a love letter to my dad, who was dying the entire time I was writing. He passed away in May of 2024.

This is open to all writers! Pick your favorite story you’ve written or your most popular or the one you think deserves some more love! Or ask your followers to suggest their favorite fic of yours!

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

requesting -

pink-ink, shamelessquestions, loftec, the_rat_wins

Thanks for the request!

Hi, @palepinkgoat @goodkwuestion @loftec @the-rat-wins

you’ve been requested to do a Shameless DVD commentary if you’d like! 💖 no pressure and feel free to ignore if you’re not interested

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

Just for fun, yet another fic commentary inspired by @shamelessdvdcommentary

We Drag Ourselves Hand Over Hand Summary: Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't come back. Because absence apparently makes the heart grow fonder and at some point he realizes he's fallen in love with Ian Gallagher. At some point he realizes he fucking hates camouflage. At some point he realizes he wishes Ian could stay. In which Ian actually goes into the Marines.

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) It took me 3 weeks to finish this fic. I only know this because I mentioned it in my authors note. The fic is a 33,014 word oneshot.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I wondered what would have happened if Ian had actually joined the Marines, but with Ian and Mickey actually kind of on the same page about their feelings. I had three scenes that I wanted to connect: Ian coming home from training before being deployed and reconnecting with Mickey and the two of them realizing that they want to be together but now can't be, Mickey and Ian saying goodbye at the airport a different time, and Mickey breaking his hand.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character? It had to be Mickey, because Ian is gone. I really really wanted to go more into how the military exploits poor people, but I think I would have been better able to do it with an omniscient POV, not a fixed one. I don't think Mickey really gives a shit about (or is even aware of) the military targeting of low income communities for recruitment.

What was your favourite scene to write? It's a tie between Mickey breaking his hand/in the hospital/the moments after or the scene where Mickey picks Ian up at the airport and pulls him in for a kiss by his dogtags.

How did you come up with the title? Genuinely I have no idea. I don't remember at all where it came from. I'm absolutely terrible at titles, most of them have nothing to do with the fic and are gibberish. It's my biggest weakness.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? I 100% stole the bit where Ian puts his face in Mickey's armpit and later Mickey doing it back from the film Lilting, starring Ben Whishaw (a beautiful but also very sad movie go watch it).

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? I wasn't sure how to make the moments where Ian was home not repetitive and/or boring. I think I succeeded, just by injecting the constant awareness that Ian will be leaving again soon and this is so fleeting. I think it also kind of works to show how he's home for such short periods of time that it never feels like they can get closer or spend a lot of time together, it's either too shallow or too deep.

Favourite line in the story? Mickey wanted everything. He never wanted 'at least,' not with Ian.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? Definitely. I was connecting 3 totally different scenes and I didn't really know where I was going. I don't want to totally spoil the fic but I actually didn't have the major climactic event planned from the start. I wasn't sure what I wanted to have happen. I originally had Ian coming home only once, but then I added a second time because it felt like I needed the relationship to develop more. I also added a bit more to one scene after I posted the fic, just based on the reactions in the comments. It was a scene I didn't realize was going to be so emotional for people, so I wanted to add some stuff to heighten that.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) The twist, which I shall not spoil. I also really loved writing the Mickey and Fiona friendship in this fic, which is something I think was tragically denied us in canon.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story? I think I had Ian and Mickey talking on the phone another time, but I decided it wasn't interesting enough. I think I also had a much more fleshed out scene with Mickey and Fiona just being friends and shooting the shit, but it broke the flow of the story enough that I deleted it.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? I actually did "research" and research for this fic. I don't know anything about the military and military leave and shit like that, so I did a little bit of googling and reading of blogs and articles so I could be at least vaguely correct even though I handwaved a lot of it. I also somehow found a youtube channel of a gay couple where one partner was in the military and the other was not, and I watched some of their videos and vlogs to kind of get a sense of like the interactions and events when people are deployed/come home or the feelings the civilian partner goes through, stuff like that.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? Again, I wish I'd made the scenes where Ian is home a little more emotionally charged and stuff. But I also kind of like the distance, because I think the feeling of "too little, not enough time to make it more" fits with what the actual characters are feeling.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story? Someone asked me to, but I definitely wouldn't. I just wouldn't be able to write a realistic sequel and I wouldn't really know what to do with Mickey's character development except maybe more friendship with Fiona. But I think the end of the fic implied that, so I don't even need that.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? Neither, but I'm incredibly surprised by how many hits it's gotten. I expected it to be a fic that got nothing because it's an AU and it's sad as shit and full of pining. But somehow it's my 3rd most popular fic.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? I wanted this fic to capture the mundanity of missing someone; how after a while it starts just being a normal everyday thing until you realize you're treating it like a normal everyday thing, and then suddenly it's not anymore, and then you just go through that over and over. Also, season 5 of the show seriously squandered the potential for having the Gallagher siblings accept Mickey into their fold and become friends/a support system/partners in (mild) crime with him, so I really wanted this fic to have that, particularly with Fiona and Debbie.

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

I was asked by someone in the @shamelessdvdcommentary community to share things "behind the scenes" one of my fics. I just think it's the coolest thing so I decided to participate! I hope you enjoy it. <3

Which Fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

Restoration. It's my most "popular" fic by far!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

Restoration is a multi chapter fic written in (big gasp!) 2016. It's 14 chapters and took me four months to write. For me that's very fast! But back in that day I was cranking fics out faster. The story is 112,794 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

Well, our air conditioner needed a tune up and we called Bowman HVAC (a real company here, as well as the name I gave the HVAC company in Restoration) and a redheaded technician showed up. The wheels started turning immediately. At the time a lot of houses were being knocked down in the neighborhood (gentrification sucks) so there was a lot of construction happening. I'm sure that helped too.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

I wrote it from Ian's POV. I had only written in his POV one other time. I fell even more in love with him in the process, and exclusively wrote him for years afterward. I can connect to Ian as a bipolar person, and his bipolar features heavily in the story. It seemed like a great opportunity to explore that.

What was your favourite scene to write?

I loved writing the scene with them in the bar bathroom in chapter 3. The first time they kissed . The whole scene felt very alive to me when I wrote it. I also really loved all the scenes with Ian and Sully - they were very fun to write.

How did you come up with the title?

I heard from a neighbor that there were different ways houses could be built, and if you leave any part of the house intact (the neighbor's front porch was left and they built out from that) you can categorize it as a restoration. I liked that. I also really liked the image of rebuilding things metaphorically.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I'm not sure if this counts but I worked really hard on the construction elements and making them metaphorical to the chapters at the same time!

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I don't really remember but I know that a lot of it just flew out of me. I don't remember struggling with any of it, surprisingly!

Favourite line in the story?

I'll pick the end of chapter 4, which includes a scene a lot of readers like. It's the "teaching" scene, wink wink. The last line is "He leans forward and meets Ian's mouth, opening wide and tasting him, them, this."

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

I initially thought it would be a lot shorter, but I realized it needed breathing room and a longer timeline. I'm glad I followed that instinct.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

I don't think it fits securely in a trope? I'm always a little confused about those.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

I'm proud of the bipolar elements to this story, and some of the dialogue. I feel like the dialogue in this was the easiest I've ever written. It was just really nice to write.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

In the era when I was writing it Amanda was very much in the picture on the show, and I thought her personality would really fit to be one of Ian's "helpers." But I never really got into any scenes with featuring both Lip and Amanda being with Ian at the same time.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

A lot of Ian's med stories and his notebook he keeps for processing episodes and health in general were mine, as well as most of the scenes with the doctor. The office is modeled after that doctor's office and everything. Honestly that doctor and the office were pretty terrible in real life, but I made her better than my doctor was. Now I have a fantastic doctor!

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

I actually did not re-read it for YEARS and re-read it in its entirety for perhaps the first time ever a year or so ago. It probably sounds really vain but I was surprised how cohesive it was and how much I liked it. I'm really proud of it and so glad people like it as much as they do. I don't think I'd change anything really.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

I have been asked, but I don't think I could do it! Like I literally think I couldn't write it in the same tone now that it's been so long.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

As far as easter eggs from story to story, I didn't add any of those things to Restoration. I did however reference the Restoration building and street in my recent fic Paragraphs! Another thing to know about me is most of the names I chose for original characters are real names of people I know. For example the developer of the property, Kowalski, is named after one of my besties. Do these people even know I write fanfic? Not really. So it's just for my own amusement. :)

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

I'm amazed at its staying power. I can't believe people are still recommending it and re-reading it. It makes me feel so loved.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Back in that day I didn't feel very nervous. After I wrote this story I felt more nervous because people loved the fic so much and I felt like it was a lot to live up to!

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

I did not! Solo act, baby. I have used a beta on Paragraphs and The Ink is a Witness to This though and I think it helps tremendously. Fun fact: it makes me more nervous to share with one person than it does to share with the world which is funny to me.

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

"Ian nods. Fuck it. He slides off his bed and settles on the floor between Mickey’s legs. “You want to feel it again?” Ha! This is a big reader favorite in this story (and referenced above) and even made into art. I didn't even mean to make it hot. I thought it was just a little scene, no big deal. The response was fun. The gist is Mickey is saying he doesn't know how to give an, uh, below the belt job and Ian kind of "teaches" him by talking him through what he's doing. Thanks to @wehangout for giving me this moment to work with!

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

I cherish every single reader and all the comments and kudos over the years. Writing this fic completely changed my life. I'm serious. So anyone who likes it or talks about it feeds in to that beautiful change and I'm just so, so grateful. I loved writing it.

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

Check out the Masterlist of all the Shameless DVD commentaries so far!

Want to take part? All the info is here.

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

requesting -

pink-ink, shamelessquestions, loftec, the_rat_wins

Thanks for the request!

Hi, @palepinkgoat @goodkwuestion @loftec @the-rat-wins

you’ve been requested to do a Shameless DVD commentary if you’d like! 💖 no pressure and feel free to ignore if you’re not interested

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

DVD commentary request - can we ask vitalspark and twinklylights?

Let’s ask! 😀

Hi, @thisdivorce and @twinklyylights

you’ve been requested to do a Shameless DVD commentary if you’d like! 💖 no pressure and feel free to ignore if you’re not interested

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

I recently re-read my own fic not all heroes wear capes and thought it would be fun to answer some questions for @shamelessdvdcommentary ❤️

(Questions and answers under the cut)

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

I wrote it back in 2020 for one of the rounds of the Shameless Big Bang. It’s a multi-chapter but a short one (only seven chapters and 37,560 words). I don’t quite remember how long it took me to finish it but it was at least four months I imagine, given I wrote it for the Big Bang and took up pretty much the entire time given.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

This is probably a bit spoilerish of an answer but back when the show was still airing, I talked a lot about Ian’s hero complex. It’s one of my favorite aspects of his character and it’s what initially morphed my idea of what his role is in this fic. (If you’ve read it, you know what I’m talking about).

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

It’s mostly told from Mickey’s POV but it does change to Ian’s from time to time too. I chose Mickey to take up the majority of it because I wanted Ian’s role in the story to be a bit more mysterious.

What was your favourite scene to write?

A scene in the middle of chapter two, where Ian and Mickey come together and talk about what split them apart. (The story is a post-S3 canon divergence with a twist). I remember really enjoying writing the dialogue between them in that scene because I love writing hurt/comfort. And I think the finished product turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.

(Off topic side-note but after re-reading that whole chapter, I realized that I wrote the sex scene to be much more explicit than I remembered. Which is strange for me because I’m usually only confident in writing sex between wlw ships. I normally go fade to black with Gallavich).

How did you come up with the title?

Titling is one of the hardest parts of writing fic for me, for some reason lmao. It literally just randomly came to mind. I think it’s corny but it goes with the theme of the story so 🤷‍♀️ I’m not good at titles so I can’t really be picky on that front.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The action/fight scenes. Which sucked, considering the main plot of the fic lol. Writing those was like pulling teeth. But I pulled myself through, even though I don’t think they turned out all that great. I’m much better at writing emotional stuff.

Favourite line in the story?

“We were kids,” he clarified at Ian’s questioning expression. “And things were shit. We never stood a chance.”

It just sums up my feelings about S3 Gallavich tbh 😭

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

Not really during the writing process. But when I was first trying to plan it, I debated whether to make it a canon divergence (which is what it ended up being) or a straight up AU. I ended up doing what I did both for the angst factor of it being post S3 and because I personally find full on AU’s to be much harder to write than fics that are based at least somewhat on canon.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

I’ve had a few people tell me that the fic “kept them guessing” as they read it. Which happily surprised me because while I was trying to be at least a little mysterious while writing, I didn’t really think I had succeeded. So I was proud of myself when a small amount of people validated me on that!

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

No specific scenes but I did originally envision a small interlude towards the end. Ian and Mickey hit a rough patch at some point in the fic because Mickey discovers a big secret that Ian kept from him. In the finished product, Mickey forgives Ian relatively quickly. At some point, it was going to be a more angsty and longer process. But I ended up not going in that direction because I felt like it would drag the story out a little too much.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

In the story, Sandy (who plays a supporting role in the fic) and Debbie are exes and Sandy eventually dates an OC. Given that I’ve grown much fonder of Debbie over the years, I think I would give her an actual role and keep her and Sandy dating if I wrote it now.

I also would have done a better job at a certain flashback scene towards the end because, along with the action scenes, it’s one of the weaker parts of the story imo.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Nah. Maybe a one-shot sequel of sorts if inspiration ever hit.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Very nervous! It was my first multi-chapter Gallavich fic and first time participating in a fandom event like a big bang.

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

Yes! Given that it was a big bang, I had a beta assigned to me. shame_less18 on ao3! And she did a fantastic job! (Not sure if she has a tumblr unfortunately). Part of the reason I chose this fic to do this commentary for is because I know it’s most likely the one with the least amount of errors for that reason lol.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

This is probably my favorite fic that I’ve written. (For Shameless anyway). Mostly because it was a lot of fun. My life was simpler back then and the Shameless/Gallavich fandom was fairly popping with S10 having just aired. I’ll always look at it fondly.

[shamelessdvdcommentary]

“Shame-proof” DVD Commentary

Thank you to @shamelessdvdcommentary & to the anon to requested us (whoever you are, we love you!). My bestie @notherenewjersey & I are here to answer all of your burning questions (do you have the syph? why's it burning? it's not supposed to burn.)

Anyway, here's our stuff... hopefully it'll help with that itchy burny.

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

“Shame-proof” is about two childhood actors who lose contact with each other after their series wraps. Quickly, we find out that Ian had been harboring a deep crush on Mickey, who had basically been bullying Ian the whole time. Confessions & apologies ensue.

Also, a friend called it an undercover RPF... and if that’s how you choose to look at it, well we’re not gonna stop you.

NJ–  it COULD be RPF but that’s not how it was written. We weren’t imagining Cam or Noel’s childhoods here, aside from what we stole of Mickey’s back canon that Ian watches as he pines.

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

The outline started on 4/16/24. 22887 words posted. Posted for the Summer Camp project on 8/3 but we were done before that.  Moonlight was convinced it would be 10k but I knew it was bigger. And this was without us going down every rabbit hole we saw. It’s 8 chapters, most of the chapters start with a flashback to the past and then jump to the “present.”

Moonlight– seriously, NJ dragged me away from some other HC I had kicking around, & we dove into this one instead.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

I read Jeanette McCurdy’s book, and as with any time I read anything, my brain said “What if this was Gallavich?” I know Moonlight is an L.A. girl, so I knew I wanted her input. I think I had a rough outline already when I looped her in, but she immediately took what I had and expanded and deepened it, as she always does.

Moonlight– God it’s so much fun to talk trash about all the things you grew up with & around. Los Angeles is filled with opportunities for trash talking. LOL 

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

This didn’t start out as either of us deciding to stay in Ian’s POV, but in order to keep Mickey’s motivations a little more opaque, we landed there. Until the latter chapters, at least. For the drama.

Moonlight– No further comment.

What was your favourite scene to write?

All of them? I like Sue so much, and I love writing Frank’s bullshit. RuPaul is fun, too. 

Moonlight– I’ve got two favorite scenes. The first is the scene where they’re kids doing the campground episode. I adored the moments of discovery Ian had there –figuring out that trees existed in southern California, figuring out that he had a serious crush on Mickey, and then the boy he meets on set as he’s running away from his problems. (BTW, 10 punk rock points to anyone who knew the song before I remembered to add a link).

The other scene I loved writing was the rimming scene. In the outline NJ said, “they get together in the sexiest and most romantic way.” And I wanted to throw my laptop at her face. SERIOUSLY, what the actual fuck?! So I got them all the way up to the part where Ian’s naked and stalled out for, like, two weeks. I was on a call with @mybrainismelted saying, “I’m stuck on this scene. I’ve managed to get one dick out, but I haven’t quite figured out how the other one’s gonna get naked AND STILL KEEP THIS BULLSHIT SEXY AND ROMANTIC.” Needless to say, I figured it out. 😁

NJ– Yup! That was, I think, the entire outline for that chapter, originally. One line. I knew that’s what happened at that point in the story, why bother with details? LOL

How did you come up with the title?

Oh geez. Trying to come up with both an AU of Shameless AND a reboot name, both of which would sound semi-natural was tough! But Shame-proof is more than just the title of a fake TV show. It also speaks to how Ian and Mickey were able to finally live wholly as themselves. No more hiding, nothing left unsaid. Without shame, shameless in the very best ways.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I always throw things in. We both do. But hopefully, readers who haven’t read either our individual or joint back canon can still enjoy the story.

Moonlight– See easter egg question.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

No.

NJ– if one of us is stuck, the other usually isn’t or can jostle the other into being unstuck. We’re good like that.

Favorite line in the story?

NJ– @gallavichgeek pointed out two of my favorite lines, but I will repeat them here because … yeah. 

“Hey, come back,” Mickey says softly.

“I’m still here,” Ian answers, a little confused.

“Yeah, but all of you. M’ not ready to let any of you go a moment sooner than I hafta.”

***

“I’d say,” he hesitates, then goes on, “that someday you’re gonna get everything you ever wanted. That all the bad shit, the bullshit, and the pain, it’ll all be worth it.” 

***

If I crash, I’m coming back to haunt you, Ian had answered.

If you crash, I’m diving in after you.

***

Moonlight– “What the fuck? How ‘bout double-dutch no with a cherry on top.” Mickey steadily refuses. (Anytime Mickey is being creative with his cursing & curses is a good time. Bad language & mockery are his love languages.)

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) 

All of it? It’s a great story. 

Moonlight– I’m also proud of the structure we used. It was NJ’s choice to do what basically amounted to two mini chapters in one –past & present colliding, if you will. And it worked so well for this storyline. 

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

Not deleted, so much as we had ideas that didn’t make it to fully fleshed for the final draft.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a character’s head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

NJ– It’s important for people to know that Mickey in the past was protecting Ian so much more than he was protecting himself, with his bullying behavior. 

Moonlight– God, yes. 

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

NJ– I want more of Ray, more of Sue, more of the Random Studio Infant now grown up. More of Sheila and of Kermit. I want the world to be fuller. And maybe it will, eventually.

Moonlight– Def’ more Ray, he’s funny & I’m sure he & Ian had so many stupid adventures. I think I’d like to see a few of the conversations between Ian & Mickey, but I struggle with that ‘cause I love when there is that air of mystery to a storyline. I don’t necessarily want to be told everything. But I think at least one of those late night conversations we reference would be nice to see.

NJ– yeah, we did have a time limit so some of the scope got condensed. I agree, those conversations would be incredible to see/hear. 

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Well…. This story has legs. It has scope beyond what you’ve seen. I have believed, since the outline began, that this was the fic that would make the leap to traditional publishing. Moonlight and I are hoping to expand it and bring it to a publisher. “It’s a crossover between Shameless, I’m Glad My Mom Died, and RWRB.” Who wouldn’t wanna read that? LOL The Gallagher family will shrink a little, Terry will still be his monstrous self. So no, there won’t be a traditional fic sequel. But if we’re all very, very lucky, there will be an expanded version that scratches the same itch.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

The Saint Christopher’s medallion that Ian receives from Mickey? Yeah, the person I wrote that for knows it was for them. 🫶 

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

By far NOT our most popular story. Yet.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

I HATE waiting to post- posting a fic like this where it’s all done upfront is hard for me, emotionally. So I was beyond excited for people to read it and love it as much as we do!

Moonlight– NJ really hates not posting immediately. Like, really hates it. This fic was written for the @gallavich-fic-club Summer Camp Event & we had to wait our turn. Which she HATED. 🤣 

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

Can we count each other? I’m a genuine writing freak- fast, thoughtless, and I rarely edit beyond typos. (many of which elude me and still end up in the final draft.) Moonlight is the opposite- she’s incredibly deliberate and also deeply and passionately devoted to the editing process. When we edit together, it can look a little argumentative, but we trust each other, so a lot of those conversations end up like, “I don’t see the issue, but I trust your judgment.” We both say it all the time.

Moonlight– D’aw, bb. You’re making me blush. You’re right, I am a meticulous asshole, but your brain is fast & witty. Together, we write good shit. 

NJ-- Also, god the verb tenses in this story gave me fits. I am a grammar nerd, so is Moonlight. But skipping between tenses for the past and present when we wrote straight through- she never had an issue but I regularly was in the wrong tense and had to go back and fix, cursing my own self the whole time. Loudly. Often on the phone with Moonlight. 

Moonlight– 🤣🤣🤣 yeah…

If any one has any comments, words of praise, complaints you’d like to register with our headquarters, please let us know. 

NJ - in the greatest detail, if you’d be so kind.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

Moonlight– Yes, the cheese sledding story is based on semi-true events. The guys at my high school used to carry large blocks of ice to the top hill of the local golf course & ride them down. Years later, a dorm mate I knew in grad school told us about his Vermont cheese tour where he saw “giant wheels of cheese” that he swore he could use as a mode of transportation. And so, the cheese sledding story was born. 

NJ-- And I made sure it was at Trump’s golf course because a few years back, a man in New Jersey did some fun vandalism like that and I find it deeply satisfying.

🧀🛷