shadowknight19kay

[shadowknight19kay]

Oohhh nooooo I made another fake cover for a fic!!! One I've barely started!! NOOOO!!!

Thought a lot (but not too much) about symbolism on this one

Castling is a move in chess where the rook moves beside the king, then the king jumps over it to a more defensible position

In the cover, the King is both the dagger and even the hollow part of Solas to be sought after/healed/redeemed/ etc etc

Solas is inside the silhouette of the rook (cos he's in rook's head geddit)

Dawes and Harding are facing away from each other this time but still reach to each other despite the lyrium poisoning!! They have so much to focus on but still only think about each other

Castling Queenside means using the rook on the queen's side of the board!! Cos Harding is the queen hehehoho

Also lemme put em next to each other tumblr crop be kind you fuck

[shadowknight19kay]

[shadowknight19kay]

Somewhere in the Inquisition, after the 6th blight....

Meanwhile in the Fade:

[shadowknight19kay]

Some alternative outfits for Davrin ✨

(Because I only like his canon outfit in game, the rest was…not it)

[shadowknight19kay]

everyone wants to talk about my crash out but what about my return. what about my resurgence. what about my rebirth

[shadowknight19kay]

The Sapphic Sentinel Scholar

[shadowknight19kay]

i love you "situations that necessitate that injured or ill characters push through until they collapse because they have no alternative and people are counting on them"

[shadowknight19kay]

Source

[shadowknight19kay]

“Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving… you will come to a better place.” ― Uncle Iroh

[shadowknight19kay]

various doodles for campaign 3 of rolling with difficulty!

[shadowknight19kay]

Trouble ahead

[shadowknight19kay]

Not only is having intergenerational friendships literally not creepy, imho it's actually essential. You NEED friends who are older to do things like help you when there's a problem with your taxes, and give you job advice, and relationship advice, and especially if you are part of a marginalized group, and especially if you're part of a marginalized group and don't have contact with a ton of other members of it, you need older friends to show you that there IS a future for you, for people like you, and what it looks like, and the way it doesn't even have to involve turning into your parents

[shadowknight19kay]

I see people making a big thing out of the ‘companions are not even asking Rook how they are doing, it’s just Solas when he is being manipulative’ twitter post.

And you know what? I stand by that one. While companions are always concerned about Rook’s well-being, there is something deliciously heavy in the vulnerability and risk attached to the fact that Solas IS the one asking directly and receiving a direct answer back.

The companions show time and again how much they care (they are even ready to pierce the Veil for Rook), but there is a heaviness in avoiding the direct approach throughout most of the game. They show care and concern by sharing with Rook who they are, by making Rook a part of their personal lives, by allowing Rook into what makes them happy: Neve shares her favourite spot in Dock Town, allows Rook to be part of the one habit that clears her mind. Lucanis takes Rook to the one place in Treviso that offers him peace and makes him reconnect with his own life, he takes Rook for a stroll in the Market as an insider, not a passerby, in hopes that what relaxes him can work for Rook too. Emmrich shows Rook the beauty of the Memorial Gardens. Davrin, repeatedly, takes Rook out for a breath of fresh air, much needed when they are drowning in impossible odds. Bellara allows Rook to mess around with the Archive, the one thing that keeps her focused when she’s navigating through her emotions. Harding spends time with Rook outside the Lighthouse. Taash takes Rook out for drinks and into their home. They all offer Rook numerous opportunities to unwind and to open up if they need to. But none ask the question directly because Rook is what keeps them together, so the answer to that question can’t be anything but ‘I am fine, we got this.’ It’s a mix of fear for what the potential answer could be and the realization that Rook won’t ever admit when they are out of their depth.

And then there’s Solas. When he checks in on Rook, it never is out of concern. It’s either because he relies on Rook to understand what is happening in the world or because he needs to make them lower their guard. And Rook can call him out on that on almost every occasion. But it’s also precisely what allows Rook to openly receive and answer that question, if they want to. Solas doesn’t depend on them, Rook doesn’t owe him anything, and that’s liberating. No need to put on a strong face because who cares if Solas is disappointed? And I think that’s such a fantastic aspect of their relationship. The distance between them, much like the rift keeping them apart, is also a source of safety for both. I am devouring that dynamic. There is something so liberating, for both probably, in the fact they HAVE to work with the other, and there aren't any emotional strings to pull or feelings to be careful about. Gloves are off, conversations are direct. Until one of them makes it personal.

They are both each other’s lifeline and ankle weight, not by choice but by circumstance.

[shadowknight19kay]

My boyfriend has really vivid, elaborate dreams. He’ll often wake up and talk about some grand narrative- travel, exploration, politics, performances. I’ve always been a little jealous, he can hold really good plots together for them sometimes.

But anyway, this does have a downside; vivid, elaborate dreams make for vivid, elaborate nightmares. I can usually tell when it’s one of those nights, since he grinds his teeth pretty badly.

I was never quite sure what to do when I knew he was having a bad time of it, though the grinding alone was enough to worry me and push me towards intervening. I used to just shake him gently, hope to rouse him just enough to reset the dream or something, but it wasn’t too effective and anyway waking him up all the time isn’t good for rest.

I’m rather proud of the strategy I eventually settled on: gently, so as not to wake him up, I’d lay one arm across his hands, wrapping his fingers around me so that he was holding on. Nightmares being nightmares, I can usually count on a pretty tight grip when this happens.

It may seem a little odd, but consider that holding on to something with both hands is typically a very agentic frame of mind. We hold on to things that give us power, in one way or another, and possessing objects often makes us feel powerful in some respects. That has consequences, even for a dreaming mind.

I knew it was working when he woke up rather mystified from one such dream, and told me that he’d been running through the caverns of some dungeon or cave system, pursued by monsters, but then all of a sudden he was holding a giant anime sword and fought them off instead. So I got to be a sword for him that night, I was delighted.

I don’t usually get to know exactly what happened, since even for a very vivid dreamer like Ritter, nine tenths of these things get forgotten. But I know I’ve been things like door handles, steering wheels, stuff like that. And even when I don’t know what I am to him, he doesn’t grind his teeth nearly as much- the sleep is deeper and more peaceful, so I get plenty of feedback that it’s working.

It’s such a perfect encapsulation of love in microcosm, isn’t it? No matter how much you mean to them, and how much they mean to you, the gap between two conscious lives is fundamentally separating you. But fundamental does not mean insurmountable. There’s this whole world in him, full of dreams and perspectives that I’ll never truly experience. But I will be a part of those worlds all the same, finding little ways here and there to make sure that the dreams of me make him a better, stronger, and happier person.

Or at least, so one hopes. It’s a difficult challenge, and things often go awry. But usually you get at least a little lucky.

[shadowknight19kay]

[shadowknight19kay]

i've always been dogshit at pottery on a wheel because i have weak noodle arms and can't hold my hands firmly in place to center the clay but i finally realized the root issue was that my legs are SHORT since i have the limb/torso proportions of a dachshund and i couldn't brace my elbows on my legs, so i put bricks under my feet and now i can sort of do it!! i've tried to learn twice in the past from TALL people but had a revelation when i watched a medium size guy throwing.

The moral of the story is: don't give up, maybe you just need bricks