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Funniest things Armand has done

Include the raccoon in his little projector slides during the trial

Make little dolls of Louis, Claudia and Madeleine for his rehearsal trial, and put a bra on Madeleine’s doll

Make up the story about feeding the sacrifice soup as part of his punishment

Steal Malik’s sunglasses

Imitate Louis by crossing his legs

Tell Daniel about how he’s had sex with half the coven, to his long-time husband’s surprise

Pretend to be a real employee at the penthouse instead of simply inventing an alter ego like a normal person

Reveal his vampirism by hovering menacingly, moments after removing his brown contacts in record time

Take Louis to Lestat in Magnus’ dungeon knowing full well that it could backfire and his cover might be blown

Let a two-time Pulitzer Prize winning investigative journalist into his home to write his husband’s memoir despite having mountains of lies to hide

Leave a two-time Pulitzer Prize winning investigative journalist alone with his husband knowing full well that he’s brainwashed both of them into forgetting an important series of events

Tell that same journalist about how he not only had sex with Lestat, but did so while making eye contact with Lestat’s ex, despite this having no relation or importance to the memoir

Lock himself in a box during the trial and make Sam guard him with a prop scythe while simultaneously sentencing his boyfriend to death

Attempt to impress Louis by demonstrating his friendship with Sartre

Continue to court Louis despite knowing full well that Louis was hallucinating his dead ex-husband, who is also his ex

Interrupt a week-long torture session to muse about how the floor slants north

Believe he’s kept his “I will not harm you” vow to Louis because he’s kept to the letter of the law despite violating the spirit of it repeatedly and enthusiastically

Suggest that lemon wallpaper be installed in the brutalist penthouse with minimalist decor

Break a 500-year-old vow because he was upset about his divorce, despite knowing full well that his marriage was a sham

Play Minecraft on his iPad

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Armand and Daniel both being petty and trying to outcunt each other in every scene they have together like its the cuntolympics they really are the most bitter of exes. what they both dont know is that the greatest cunt of them all have yet to enter the stage: lestat de lioncourt

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he’s just a guy :)

I fuckin love roronoa zoro. hes so stupid. he has no sense of direction. he carries three (3!!) swords. his only three modes are Fight, Train, Sleep. he has no sense of direction. he's an alcoholic. can't tell if I want him or want to be him. he's so devoted and loyal to his boyfriend captain that he lets a bunch of small ass fries beat him up when he could demolish them in half a second, purely because his boyfriend captain told him not to fight back.

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THE GANG AS LPS!!

took 20 minutes but i think its pretty accurate not gonna lie i outdid myself

charlie

dennis

mac

dee

frank

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They are already selling data to midjourney, and it's very likely your work is already being used to train their models because you have to OPT OUT of this, not opt in. Very scummy of them to roll this out unannounced.

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MIZUMIZUMIZUMIZU

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University automated email: I hope this email finds you well!

How this email finds me:

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Low-stakes HC that modern!mizu has a batshit wild diet.

Maybe the audience for this is like two people and my dog but I've been sitting on this and for some reason feel compelled to put it into the world. So anyway

We're talking instant ramen like 4x a week, plain chicken and rice 6x a week, green tea and holistic health immunity shots mixed with monsters, so many candy and protein bars

Also just like bags of plain lettuce (?????)

She only eats at like weird hours, eg. 2:30 pm and 4 am.

One time Taigen found Mizu's candy stash, which takes up the entire space under her bed.

(She threatened to kill him if he ever took her chocolate truffles, but sometimes she lets him steal some anyway.)

It all drives Akemi crazy

Obviously, Akemi meal preps and makes sure she's getting the exactly right proportions of meat-to-veggies-to-carbs. She watches body-positive health and wellness dietitians on YouTube and is a green juice and smoothie drinker

The only time Mizu eats well is right before a big [insert sport] tournament or game

But then she is RELIGIOUS about health in the week leading up to it

Sleeping 8 hrs a night, eating balanced meals during actual mealtimes, drinking a liter of water a day, even cutting out caffeine completely

(Ringo helps her with the balanced meals part)

Every time Akemi thinks this time mizu's going to keep the healthy lifestyle going

And every time, the morning after, Akemi finds six crushed monsters and 14 protein bar wrappers in the trash

And then mizu walks out of her room double fisting a whole bell pepper and a bag of yogurt raisins

It's 6 fucking am

And Akemi gives up

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I’m so ill for mizu rn guys I need to be put down fr

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shane deleted all of his tweets (im most likely very late to this), so heres the lightning bergueenga video.

this is my favourite video in the whole world and im so sad its gone now.

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luke: *is the lightening thief*

me, who’s known that for literal years:

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i have a nice list of comfort characters and i thought this would be the funniest paring for this trend lol

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Wanting top surgery so I can sleep face down shirtless in boxers like the lazy teenage boys at the start of 90s films

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lestat is a bachelor. he’s a divorcee. he’s irredeemable. he’s beloved. he’s a cynic and he’s the most gullible man on the planet. he’s a slut. he’s a star. he loves himself. he hates himself. he’s a champion and an idiot. he loves so much and so hard that he squeezes the things he cares for until they die with blood running from their noses. he’s a pretty face. he’s a mutilated corpse. he’s a fly with its wings torn off. he’s the most beautiful girl at the ball. he’s evil, because if he does it on purpose then he doesn’t have to know that if he tried to be good he would fail. he’s evil because there is no other choice. he’s evil and it looks good on him. he’s an actor. he’s a model. he’s a mannequin. he’s a mogul. he’s a dead boy at the bottom of a tower. he’s a dead boy on a funeral pyre. he’s a dead boy who is just beginning to learn how to live.

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Ok so. my friend and i were rewatching the harry potter series. we were talking about how Harry should’ve been in slytherin and we made an entire concept for how we would write harry potter. i felt it was simply too good not to share. it’s literally just a bunch of somewhat connecting bullet points, but i might actually write it down in the future.

this came to be after we watched the second one, (mind you i’m an english major and my roommate is an Art history major) and talked about how we personally don’t like that one, and so much could’ve been improved with the chamber of secrets plot in general if harry had been in slytherin. The bullet points start with the first movie.

HARRY POTTER(AKA SLITHERIPOTTER)

Part 1: Childhood/ Hagrid

- vernon and petunia more neglectful, no room “if you don’t bother us we don’t bother you” deal

- when harry was a baby and would cry the fuses would go out

- at age 8, harry gets left at school, walks dejectedly to bus stop. Gets on bus has no money bus driver angry random stranger(LUPINN) pays for ticket.

- harry sits and looks for man to thank him (lupin was behind) doesn’t know where he went

- aunt and uncle afraid of harry. (aunt worse)

- aunt and uncle treat him better in public to be seen normal

- dudley intentionally getting harry in trouble, mommy complex. notices mom is nicer to him when she gets mad at harry.

-Aunt is an alcoholic, afraid of her nephew. aunt feels melancholy for her sister.

- harry shows symptoms of ADD(Attention deficit disorder) and GAD(Generalized anxiety disorder)

-Dudley’s birthday at zoo still happens. harry still talks to snake there. afterward harry locked in room.

- Dudley first sees harry’s letter, and reveals to parents. Excess of letters happens, Harry locked out of house in retribution.

HAGRID’S ENTRANCE:

- harry walks to park, hears motorcycle, flips tf out bc yknow, it’s flying.

- hagrid finds harry+ introduces him to the wizard world

-Gringotts still happens

-harry and hagrid go to train together. Hagrid and harry wave.

PART2 :THE TRAIN AND SORTING

- ron and harry bump heads, (harry leaving his lil compartment to find bathroom, ron looking for a seat) ron realizes harry’s identity when seeing his scar.

- harry happy to make a one friend, but confused as to how ron knew who he was

- ron explains legend vaguely

-Trolly shenanigans ensue

-Hermione sees trolly shenanigans(both of their faces are chovered in chocolate) and is disgusted , talks how her parents are dentists.

- hermione sees scar freaks out

-harry and ron slightly dislike hermione

- forces herself into it, hermione keeps asking weird questions, harry confused, hermione leaves

- “i’m so excited for sorting i want gryffindor” - ron

- harry confused. sorting mentioned but not much

- harry still doesn’t know his hair is messed up, notices draco looking at him. looks at him then looks away bc mcgonagall is there.

- as they’re going up the stairs, Ron explains houses. Loves Gryffindor, slytherin worst of worst(evil if you go to syntherin.) hufflepuff kind, ravenclaw smart

SORTING:

- Mcgonagall sorting people, draco making his way through the crowd for harry with crabbe and goyle following. Harry sees.

-when harry walks in the great hall, he feels eyes on him. it’s snape.

- Ron gets called, taps harry”I’ll see you later” energy

-Ron in hufflepuff, confused, can’t make eye contact with harry.

- ron looks over to brothers in gryffindor, (all near eachother) they’re disappointed

-harry really confused

-hermione sorted ravenclaw

-harry gets distracted as he tries to figure out the houses from who he’s seen her sorted into them. Draco gets called up, bumps harry, looks back at harry + eye contact.

- harry called, sorted into syntherin, Malfoy smirks and gestures next to him. Harry is panicking bc of what ron told him earlier

————

tis the end for now

tysm for reading this