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Text: Sometimes in the dead of night on the way to the kitchen for a glass of water, I see an extra door in the hallway, black and imposing. 

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i feel entitled to financial compensation from the heart attacks alone

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This cartoon is supposed to be anti-Bernie but it’s actually extremely good

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What a great audience

(via)

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i feel like fascists storming the fucking capitol because they don’t want the majority vote to prevail should tell you exactly what trump supporters believe in. anyone who makes excuses for this behavior or continues to stand behind trump is supporting faciscm. point blank. 

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It’s harder to steal baby formula at Wal-Mart than it is to break into the US capitol building. 

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When medication says "do not operate heavy machinery" they're probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to forklift.

To this day I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t automatically think ‘forklift’ and not ‘car’

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ironfam & f.o.s + enneagram types ↳ type one: the reformer  →  james ‘rhodey’ rhodes → lyric insp

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It always baffles me what people claim as “historically accurate” for ye olde fantasy fiction while completely ignoring all the cool shit that actually did exist and negates their misconception that everyone was Gross™ and unkempt because Reasons.

Like all y'all realize we’ve had soap for a while, right, and perfumed oils?

I mean fuck me, we have evidence of the Egyptians as far back as Cleopatra (and likely before) styling their nails (rich and poor!) bright vibrant RED hues using tinted oils and henna.

We’ve got evidence of unisex nail tints and adornments from the Ming Dynasty including but not limited to kohl, vegetable dyes and literal actual gold dust gelled together with egg whites and bees wax. Not to mention actual mother fucking tooth brushes dating from the late 1400s and the well known “chew brushes” from before then.

But sure. Rough mannered white dude takes a piss behind a tree and makes a comment about wining and whoring as he does up his ‘britches’, and all your women just expect to be brutalized 24/7 while lamenting the stench because nobody bathes.

Yep, sure sounds like mediocre white dude fantasy to me.

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We need more images like these i think

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a vampire giving themselves a pep talk to a mirror that has a crudely drawn picture of themselves that they drew taped to it

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ok so

everyone knows about this meme, right?

but does anyone else know the woman who made the food? no? time to educate!

This is “Mother Mary”, the owner of Blackberry’s mother.

She made all the cakes for the restaurant while it was open. Chef Gordon Ramsay tried her red velvet cake, and spoke this meme-able line:

He then called Mary over, complimented her food, and gave her a peck on the cheek.

Look how happy she was to hear that!!!

anyways, I hope she has been able to continue her love for baking since the restaurant closed down.

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They may be on to something...