sexymotherparker

[sexymotherparker]

Captain America: I throw shield

Maria Hill: I work for SHIELD

Coulson: I'm an agent of SHIELD

Tony: I hacked SHIELD

Nick Fury: I command SHIELD

*Meanwhile Loki*

Loki: I GOT HIT BY A SHIELD!!!!!

[sexymotherparker]

Friday: Boss, Peter is here with someone.

Tony: *talking with natasha and thor* Probably his friend or classmate...Let him in.

Friday: Yes boss.

Peter: *walks in with Thanos* Mr. Stark, do you have a jumbo-sized sweater?

Tony: *spits his coffee* Peter! What are you doing?! Get over here now!

Natasha: Where is my neclace suit!? Bucky!

Bucky: I thought you were wearing it all the time!?

Rhodey: I thought there's no more danger?!

Peter: It's cold outside! I just wanna give him some warm clothes and hot chocolate!

Bruce: What in the love of my FREAKING Phd are you talking about?!?!??

[sexymotherparker]

Tony: *presenting his new robot dummy* TADa!

Steve: Didn't your dad promised us a flying car?

Bucky: Yeah! Show us the flying car!

Peter: *on the other room shouting* THERE'S A FLYING CAR?!??!

Tony: Wha- No Peter! No!

[sexymotherparker]

Peter: If Michelle's daughter is my daughter's mother, what am i to Michelle?

Tony: HE'S BACK?!!?

Steve: I picked him up from school.

Peter: If you could know the absolute and total truth to a question, what question will you ask?

Tony: GODDAMNIT!!

Harley: I'm really adopted.

Tony: I said, NO ONE IS ADOPTED HARLEY!!

[sexymotherparker]

Peter: Hey Mr stark! Wanna play 2 truths and i lie?

Tony: Sure....

Peter: I'll start first.

Peter: I have brown hair, i am a student and i accidently fall down into a 21 story building.

Tony: My tu- Wait what?!???

[sexymotherparker]

Peter: If we have Watermelon, do we also have Firemelon? Earthmelon? Airmelon?

Tony: Pete for god's sake let me eat this sandwich first!

Peter: If a pregnant woman goes swimming, does it make her human submarine?

Harley: Am i adopted?

Tony: ......

Tony: ......No one is adopted.