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why did no one tell me quantum computers looked like that

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Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event 

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y'all HAVE to watch this...interview??? with the inmates of the prison where luigi mangione is being held.

the reporter is standing outside the prison walls, while the inmates are inside watching newsmax, and collectively screaming out one-word answers to questions loud enough to be heard by the reporter.

I've never seen anything like it

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“But it was not your fault but mine / And it was your heart on the line” 🗡️

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and what if I told you nine was less afraid of love than ten. what then.

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"who is that beautiful man in the fanart on my dash": a guide

he looks terrible and he's wearing long flowing robes: that's jesus of nazareth

he looks terrible and he's wearing a green shirt: that's jonathan "jon" sims the archivist

he looks amazing and he's wearing a green shirt: that's armand de vorced

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If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

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One of those goofy maid animes, except the viewpoint character isn't the hapless master or mistress of the house, but a regular-ass janitor who ended up on this crew due to a paperwork mixup at the temp agency and can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with her co-workers.

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"stress" by yoan capote - made of bronze and concrete

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History wants so badly for Cleopatra to be beautiful. Like they can’t conceive of Rome being intimidated by anything less

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people will say "why cant the eldritch gods just be nice to humans :((" and then kill a bug for existing near them

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Awkward

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Discussing baby’s future

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MISPLACED ORGANS & VARIOUS SAINTS is officially out today!! get it here or ask for it at your local independent bookstore 🖤⚰️

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an incomplete taxonomy of christmas music

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