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Can someone write me a story about a villan’s sidekick where they’re not an idiot, but genuinly want to be as good as their boss and hate being second best

But then they meet the hero’s sidekick and they meet on Saturday’s and discuss how their bosses are dumb, and fall in love-

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Writing Prompt #434

“And your power is vocal manipulation? What exactly would a skill like that bring to our team?” The interviewer looked me up and down, likely assessing my physical capabilities.

“Well, in addition to being able to crack any voice-recognition software,” I returned in the interviewer’s own voice. “It’s generally wonderful for espionage, a fun party trick, and a great way to get someone else in trouble.”

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Okay, so do vampires drink from arteries or veins or both? Asking for a friend.

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  Icarus x Taehyung

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My Hogwarts Mystery experience

New student at Hogwarts: *coughs*

Snape: “TEN POINTS FROM HUFFLEPUFF!”

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i have this headcanon that george would spend a long time locked up in the shop after the war, not really going out or meeting people. when his family complained that they never saw him, and that they wanted to help, and to make sure he was okay, he would reply “ ‘m just working, its fine, let me be”. one day, after several months, george would be working alone when ginny would storm in. ginny with her mess of red hair and flushed cheeks and determined glint in her eyes. and george would sigh and shake his head a little and tell her that he’s busy and he doesn’t need her help and she would laugh. it would shock george a little, to hear his sister laugh so freely and with such a note of childlike joy. he’d feel a hint of something; guilt? irritation? maybe even anger? but when he looks up at her, he’d instantly soften. brandishing two brooms, she’d shove one at him. “you going to help me train or not? the holyhead harpies are scouting this summer and we all know you were a pretty decent flyer before you became obsessed with cooping yourself up in this shop all alone.” while george winced a little at the brashness of her statement, he appreciated the no-nonsense tone, the first blunt and honest interaction he’d had with anyone since his brother’s passing. in the months that followed, george would spend less time alone at the shop and more time out flying in the cold, crisp air, with ginny and occasionally some others, harry and ron perhaps. george would be grateful for his sister’s brazen attitude which forced him to leave his dark and lonely place, and while he still felt lonely and heartbroken, there was a new sense of belonging. especially when ginny became the newest addition to the holyhead harpies, and george stood in the stands, his face painted gold and green.

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CAN WE TALK ABOUT VIKTOR KRUM

who was the biggest star in the quidditch WORLD

and still went back to school because education is important

and goes to hogwarts and throws his name in to do some crazy fucked up tasks

even though he already HAS fame and fortune but just because he wants to prove he can do it

because he’s probably spent his whole life proving he can do things

because he’s an athlete and he’s quiet and he’s big and people probably just assume he isn’t very smart

but he is probably one of the hardest working people you’ll ever meet

and then he can have literally any girl (and probably some of the guys) that he wants when he gets to hogwarts

and he goes to the library - because as much as he is here for the triwizard tournament he also is not sacrificing the education that he is already sacrificing to get

and he sees this strange girl with large hair buried in a book

so he sits down

and he sits there and studies at her table and watches her study

and he can’t say her name right no matter how hard she tries but that’s okay because he keeps trying

because she’s patient with him and understanding that he is working across language barriers

and probably she helps him out when he finds books that are important but difficult to translate

and knowing hermione she probably starts learning bulgarian in her free time so he can have someone from hogwarts to talk to

and then he asks this strange brilliant bookish girl to the ball

because even though he could have everyone he values intelligence so highly but he also values hard work, and hermione has both coming out of her ears

and she turns up at the ball and shocks everyone with how beautiful she is

but viktor isn’t shocked, because he’s spent weeks in the library bent over books watching her pull her hair and bite her lip and he knows that she is beautiful

even without the dress

and when they realize that they aren’t going to work out as a couple (for a hundred different reasons)

viktor gives her his address and tells her to write

because as much as he has loved getting to date this strange bookish girl

he has loved getting to be her friend even more

and if you don’t think they were pen pals for the rest of their goddamn lives you have another thing coming

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Ravenclaw Headcanon

Ravenclaws love and hate ambient noise. It needs to be a specific kind of noise depending on what they’re doing, and if it varies too far from the ambient noise they wanted, they just find it distracting.

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//I think this just triggered another existential crisis 🙃//

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okay but imagine suburban dad sirius 

DAD JOKES BECAUSE SIRIUS PUNS WEREN’T ENOUGH ALREADY

at the same time he would be so torn in between “i’m dad” or “i’m always sirius” 

eventually he settles for a combination 

“are you serious” “I’M DAD SIRIUS!! GET IT? DAD SIRIUS” “you set yourself up for that one harry” 

he would exchange cooking tips and recipes with the suburban moms. and declare the slow cooker is the holy grail. anyone who says otherwise can fight him. 

his brownies would be the bomb. he dominates the bake sales every single time. remus and harry would try to filch a few before the sale but he glares at them and tells them to put it back very sternly 

he would also make harry eat his vegetables and scold remus for sneaking him chocolate 

the embarrassingly proud parent at soccer games 

seriously he would stand up and cheer and scream and clap the longest whenever he sees harry out there 

the game wouldn’t have even started yet 

MINIVAN DRIVING SIRIUS WHICH ACTUALLY HE LOVES.

he still has his motorbike which is his other baby but remus refuses to let him take harry on it 

he wouldn’t let harry sleep in his own room until he was 5 because his favourite thing was waking up in the morning to see little harry curled into remus’ arm and both of them sleeping with similar open mouths

basically a modern wolfstar au where they raise harry in a suburban muggle neighbourhood and they were worried about sirius standing out too much but he just happens to fit right in 

sirius didn’t ever dare to dream that he would ever be this happy. but he is, with his quiet life and little family. and he hopes james and lily can rest peacefully knowing their son is safe and loved. 

i never write headcanon posts, but this has been sitting in my drafts forever and i finally finished it! thank you to @merrymaraudering for helping me on this (all those months ago if you still remember) 

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Au idea I can’t shake?

Draco and Harry lived on a street with identical houses (neighborhood rule or some shit… but the school system was the best so people for some reason put up with it)

Like so identical that when they started kindergarten and walked back home, they sometimes couldn’t remember which house was who’s

So, not having met yet, Harry walks back one day and instead of going to his house, accedentally walks straight into the Malfoy kitchen and only once he sits down and looks up from his newest comic and sees narcissa’s stunned face does he realize he is in the wrong house

Narcissa asks if he’s dracos friend and he’s all like who? That one kid with the blonde hair? He seems nice

She chuckles but tells him his family might be worried and she needs to check to see where Draco might have gone

First, because Harry had been eyeing the freashly made batch of cookies (and his own mom had promised to make him some anyways that morning), she gives him a glass of milk and a cookie

She likes this kid, he is polite and animated and she can’t help but think what if he became best friends with her son

She takes his hand and walks him over next door, only to be interrupted mid-knock by Lilly opening the door with Draco right behind her

They both stare at their boys and then at each other and begin to laugh

They become best friends

As for Draco and Harry, it’s a little rocky. Neither boy likes that their mom likes the other so much; they should be the favorites

But eventually

They are forced to hangout so much as the families get to know each other that they will play together if around each other

Then one day on the bus to school

Harry Sees Draco sitting alone with no friends.

He decides to sit beside him, and then decides that he would do everything all over again just to see the look of tentative happiness on the other boys face again

They become best friends pretty quickly after that, finally hanging out after school

After school, sometimes they get lost on the way to their houses again

They still mix it up, but it’s ok because whichever house they choose to wonder into, they are welcomed with hugs and cookies for the both of them

Expect for that one time they accidentally walked into a house that looked only sort of identical owned by a man named Filch Norris. It didn’t help that they happened to be discussing at the time the rumors of his wife getting turned into a cat he now kept as a pet

Once Lilly got a glass wind chime she hung on the portch so the boys could tell which house was which, but after a wild game of catch the orange, it was broken on purpose and quickly hidden away

To this day neither boy will admit to knowing who was at fault, and honestly they both wanted it gone so much they don’t remember who had delt it its final blow (Lilly does, as she had been watching from the window. it had been her own son, probably wanting no excuse for Draco to not follow him wherever he went)

Later, in middle school, they have their first real fight

Harry had been out with friends and Draco had been tagging along, with Harry as always

One of his friends dared Harry to kiss someone in the circle

Draco was scared out of his wits because he didn’t want Harry to kiss anyone else but he knew Harry would never back down from a challenge and there was no way that this could end well

So he lied and told the whole group that Harry had cooties and the last girl who had kissed Harry gagged so hard she never kissed anyone ever again, and was subsequently so embarrassed and horrified to have done that, shut down and ran away

Harry was pissed. He mainly was angry on how Draco had lied to the group and hurt Harry through this, ruining his reputation and acting callous and mean towards him. But he was also pretty bummed because the person he had been considering kissing had been Draco

The fight continued for months. They didn’t talk. They didn’t sit together. They didn’t walk home together. They didn’t go to each others houses anymore.

Lilly and narcissa were devastated. They hated seeing their boys so sad, and hated seeing them without the other

At the end of the year, Harry was having a bad day. He hadn’t slept that night, finishing his essay on changing ocean tides, and he was really missing Draco. His other friends were being little shits at the moment, and he was feeling incredibly lonely. His headphones were on, and his hood was up, and he shuffled his feet into his house without paying attention straight into the kitchen and into a chair, head falling down into his arms.

Until he realized that this chair was much too stiff to be his chair. He jerked up, startled, and looked around frantically only to come to face with narcissas beaming smile and dracos shocked face, mouth open, eyes wide, and a cup of tea spilling from his hand onto the floor

Harry jumped up with a “sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry” as he scrambled backwards, tripping over his feet and flying out the door to run back to his real house, up the stairs and into his room.

He was a disaster

The next day, Draco follows him to his house after school, saying nothing

Harry lets him

Lilly stares frozen in shock as the two of them slump past her with quiet hellos as they go up to Harry’s room

Harry doesn’t say anything either. He still hates what Draco did, but he would forgive Draco at the slightest hint of apology if it meant he got his friend back again.

They sit next to eachother on Harry’s bed, trainers toed off at the doorway and backpacks thrown by the desk

Draco can barely get out an I’m sorry before Harry is hugging him tightly

They would never admit it out loud but both shared more than a few tears in that embrace

Once again the two of them are inseparable

And Lilly and narcissa plan wedding invitations for when the time comes (because mothers apparently always know)

Their first kiss is in high school, after Harry snapped at a girl asking Draco out, under the tree they had tried to burry the broken wind chime

Their first I love yours were screamed at eachother in pure joy and fear as they ran away from mr norris’ house, having been caught snogging behind his ash tree in the front yard, almost falling moaning on top of his cat

Their vows were exchanged in the backyard of Harry, while the reception was held in draco’s backyard (or had it been the other way around?)

They bought a house a little bit aways from their old neighborhood, and with college/university and jobs they didn’t get a chance to come back much

One day, after a particularly long time away, they both head back to their parents. They look at their two houses side by side, heads tilted and noses scrunched in puzzlement

“Draco, have our houses always been different colors?”

“You know what, Harry, I think they might have been.”

And they lived happily ever after

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Namjoon: You have to make peace with your demons.

Me: *going into the cemetery at 2am*

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Me: oh thats cute

*checks price tag*

Me: no its not

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slides in with roombas strapped to both my feet: sup heteros

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Bob’s Burgers would also be an appropriate title for SpongeBob SquarePants

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“Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber, BTS, The Weeknd, Rihanna, Harry Styles, Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry and Kendrick Lamar are among the artists who have unfollowed Kanye West on Twitter after his open support of Donald Trump.”

━ PopCrave

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Jimin: I’m losing confidence

Me: