selinakdemirs

[selinakdemirs]

Time differences were a bitch. 

Although she was fairly certain that she did not make a great mother, regardless of the flock of caretakers she had hired for her son, Selin did try her best to check in with him every day — she only wished the child would learn quickly how to form full sentences with correct syntax and grammar. It was difficult to determine exactly what he wanted from a collection of incoherent babbles and the few words he’d managed to pick up. Apparently she did not possess whatever maternal instinct she was supposed to magically gain when he came into the world. That lack of knowledge alone made the conversation with the nannies — in which she was soon to fly back to Italy and bring Aslan to Providence Peak — grating.

It was with no small amount of relief that she ended the video call, quarter bottle of liquor deep. There was still plenty to be done before Aslan’s arrival and the apartment wasn’t even baby-proofed — she wondered if it would be more expedient to purchase a whole new house. 

‘Selin!’

She knew that voice. Of course she did — she would know it even if she had forgotten her own. 

Selin quietly released a breath she didn’t know she had been holding — a breath she perhaps had been holding ever since her arrival in the town — and opened the door, not bothering to hide the small smile that upturned a corner of her mouth. “Nathan.” 

She had almost forgotten about this Nate — the 3am one; hair slightly disheveled, smelling of cigarettes and whiskey — so unlike the stoic, cleanly kept image he wore in the daytime. She much preferred this version. 

“If I had known you were coming, I would’ve worn something a little,” she paused, as if searching for the word, before deciding upon: “less.” Though she made no move to clear the entryway to let him in, instead tilting her head to gaze at him as she played with the string of her robe. “What’s the secret passcode?”

location: selin’s apartment, downtown

status: closed ( @selinakdemirs​ )

There were bad ideas and then there was this one—it stood alone in the dark recesses of his mind, reeking of desperation and irritation, a temptation not to be touched.

Until now.

He eyed the lock, teenage memories of smothered laughter and a warm breath against his neck as he picked open forbidden entryways swirled about the edges of consciousness. It wouldn’t be difficult to break in, a five minute job tops, though it would be awfully uncivilised and he had yet to sink to that level (or so he would like to believe, though it was three AM and he might just have reached it on account of that fact alone). Besides, there were security cameras. It wasn’t worth it.

I shouldn’t be here. I should leave.

Insomnia had turned to near madness, the usual mechanisms ceasing their helpfulness. He’d circled the lake twice, gone through an entire pack of cigarettes and a flask of whiskey, but the noise didn’t stop. His brain was a cacophony of scattered images, gnawing and burdensome; an unconscious brother passed out from too many lines, Selin’s dark gaze, a mafia man’s face hardened with irritation, Selin’s sharp smile, the company in less than tasteful headlines, bruised and broken skin, the face of suspicion, Selin, Selin...

“Selin!” Fist against wood, Nathan pounded on the door. There was no going back now. “Open up!”

[selinakdemirs]

Unexpectedly, throughout the years, she had found solace in going to the movies alone. Two and a half hours in a dark room with her phone turned off was often exactly what she needed when the rest of her hours were spent glued to screens, answering emails and leading meetings — even if she was repentant to admit that it was something she wanted. Still, it was a surprise to see someone else doing the same thing, and she looked over to the stranger briefly before her gaze returned to the selection of airing titles. “Depends,” Selin drawled, “on whether you’re here to forget your problems for two and a half hours, or to feel something.” 

location: cinematic  starter: @selinakdemirs​​​ 

Checking the different posters with the available movies, Maya shoved her hands into the pockets of her jackets. One of her sisters had suggested that they could watch something this evening before something came up; causing her to cancel. Now, the brunette was left wondering whether she could be that sad girl, watching a movie all alone while stuffing her face with all the buttery popcorn she could get. Given the fact it had been ages since Maya had been in the theater, it could potentially be fun. “Which one do you think it’s worth watching? I don’t want to waste two and a half hours of my life..” 

[selinakdemirs]

It was nice to see a familiar face. 

In the past, most of her time had been consumed by work. Friendships were nice, but neither feasible nor convenient — she was an introvert at the core, and her business dealings took up almost all of her social battery. But she was no longer in Turkey; no longer working. It was an unfamiliar feeling — not having work piled up, each minute of her day designated to a specific task. She found herself wandering in the quiet moments, looking for sources of entertainment. 

“Hopefully not looking older,” she replied with a grin, acknowledging the time that had passed since they had seen each other last. She had always appreciated Nazli’s close relationship to Lorelai and the other woman’s business sense — though she’d never indicated such, with her lack of effort in keeping touch. “What has you out and about? I trust growing an empire keeps you quite busy.”

“Well… Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Nazli’s brow quirked up. Admittedly, it’s been a moment since she last saw Selin. Too long of a moment. Ever since Lorelai first introduced the other to her, she’s liked the woman. A factor that, frankly, surprised her at first; There hasn’t been many of Lorelai’s old friends that Nazli particularly liked or tolerated. But Selin Akdemirs was certainly an exception. Walking closer and tilting her head, her eyes scanned her up and down. “You’re looking more beautiful since the last time I saw you.” Then again, when was she not?

CLOSED STARTER: somewhere on main street // @selinakdemirs​

[selinakdemirs]

roni-garcia​:

Roni hadn’t really considered what she would do if she was picked up by a man with bad intent. Her trial of kick boxing had proved that she wasn’t cut out for it when she pulled off her boxing glove and her nails were all broken. Her life seemed a little less important than a seventy dollar manicure. The thought was soon eradicated when a woman’s voice found her ears. Not that she could see her with headlights on. 

“You must be a comedian.” The brunette said as she grabbed her purse from above her truck and began to saunter over. “Let’s hope that you’re hot because I can’t see people paying for tickets with that humor.” When she got closer, she peered into the passenger window and looked her over. “She’s an eight… with her mouth closed.” Or more accurate, without comedy.

☾

She decided immediately that she liked the other woman. 

Selin never had much patience for those that openly felt sorry for themselves and the situation they were in. Even worse — those that felt as though the world was obligated to be kind to them. Town living seemed to be a breeding ground for them. But she instead found herself delightfully entertained as the stranger spoke, sauntering over with all the grace of a queen. There were very few people that would be able to go through the trial of having their car break down on an empty road and still be able to shoot back sass — even covered in mud and grime. 

“Perhaps people have bad taste, because they pay enough for tickets to afford the gas it’ll take for me to drive you to the nearest garage.” She unlocked the passenger door, grabbing some body wipes from the glove compartment and handing it the woman. “Or maybe somewhere to clean off the dirt.” She shrugged, not wanting the other to feel trapped by another’s whims. ( Perhaps it was unfair — how she decided in a split moment whether she liked someone, and changed her attitude off that first impression. But she didn’t care if it was unfair. The world was unfair. ) “I’m new to town and don’t know where anything is so — your call.”

[selinakdemirs]

tysingh​:

“Okay, but like…hit you with my fist, really?” Tyler asked with a blink, having to process the request and reconfirm that this was exactly what was being asked of her. Ty was one to take things pretty literally and if someone said to hit them…well, she probably would. 

Her brows furrowed as she lifted her hands up with a shrug. “I’d literally knock you out if I did, for the record. You would be flat on your ass. Not that I mind, just making sure you’re good with that.” 

To knock Selin flat off her ass — there was certainly a line of people that wanted to do exactly that. “No,” she returned quickly, taking a step away in caution. “I meant that I want you to train me so I can win if someone were to hit me with their fist.” A thoughtful pause before her usual grin pulled the corners of her mouth upwards yet again. “Though I am certainly willing to lose to you.” Not that she would ever stand much of a chance, anyway. 

[selinakdemirs]

dombaccari​:

Dominic did not tend to do things by halves. He was all in, for better or for worse, and that meant that, right now, she had coaxed out every ounce of his mistrust. It would take a hell of a lot more than a pocket watch to sway him. He didn’t doubt the Cranes reach, would never doubt them again, so until proven otherwise, it was just as likely this was all a set up. 

He stiffened at her accusations, at the precision of them, and he clenched his teeth so hard he was certain they’d crack. The baby. The thought brought with it a visceral sort of reaction. He hadn’t processed it— couldn’t process it. Not here, not now. Certainly not in front of this stranger who had bulldozed into his life and shaken the rubble down to its very foundation. 

His walls came up even higher if it were possible, a smile that held nothing of amusement within it tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Try to therapize me, see how far that gets you,” he suggested with a wicked sort of dare dancing between his words. 

The smile fell, however, as she continued speaking and his cool exterior cracked as something icy slithered in. Normally skilled at reading people, he found himself off-kilter as he hunted her eyes for answers too well guarded. “I run a garage, not a hotel. I’ve no interest in getting to know you.” He nodded his chin in the direction of the front. “I trust you can find the door.”

☾

“I’m not trying to therapize you,” she answered serenely — almost innocently, if such a trait was possible to describe Selin Adkdemir, “but to find the answer for myself.” 

It was unexpected — her affinity to his attitude. Certainly, she had spited people for less than the outright hostility that this man directed at her. But his anger drew her in rather than pushed her away. In her world, where honeyed words too often dripped off razor edges and opulent castles were nothing but prisons disguised as homes, Baccari’s rawness felt much like the continuation of a scream she’d long forced back down her throat. It intrigued her, how he wore his open wounds like armor. Though whether it was valiance or foolishness, she could not say. 

She fumbled in her bag for a moment before pulling out a stack of polaroids — a hobby one of her nannies had taken; Aslan, just born, Selin and the baby, sleeping soundly, and a handful of other firsts that managed to be captured on film — gingerly placing them on a nearby counter. An invitation. Tame, when it came to her. She would’ve forced them into his palm, if she were not so sure the man would throw them to the ground in the next moment, when the photographs felt too delicate, too vulnerable. “They have the same eyes.”

How could she explain it to him? That it felt as though she had been running ever since she’d seen the double lines on the pregnancy test. That for the first time in her life, she’d felt lost, unable to trace the steps ahead when there were so many footprints left undefined behind her. 

Yet, standing in an old garage with a stranger that was bent on throwing her out, it felt like all this time, she was meant to run here.

Selin cleared her throat, again donning the half teasing grin. “I can certainly find the door — tomorrow, too. I predict my car will need some serious repairs.”

[selinakdemirs]

📸 hazalfilizkucukkose

[selinakdemirs]

ingridlczano​:

“Well… next time then.” At least the flowers didn’t go to waste, Ingrid thought while smiling over at her. “Good. Dare I ask how they took it or?” Considering Selin was there, looking as normal as ever, she managed to get away with it. Either way, the brunette wasn’t about to start asking questions the other wasn’t willing to answer and wouldn’t mind dropping it. Observing her quietly, the corners of her lips tugged upwards before Ingrid could nod her head, “Right. Exciting wasn’t going to be the word she’d ever use, but there’s no doubt in her mind that’s how outsiders see it. “I could come up with a list, though I doubt you’d be able to find half of the names there.” she exclaimed, as her mom popped into her mind. “How long do you plan on staying?” 

☾

“He didn’t believe me,” Selin replied with a sigh, recalling Dominic’s anger and dismissal. He was the unlucky one there — she was the type to be motivated even more by such a reaction. “Though I suppose — people tend to be skeptical of such big claims. How does one go about proving familial relations these days? How do they do it in the soap operas?” 

Ingrid was still a stranger, but she didn’t mind oversharing. At most, it made for good coffee small talk. She’d always thought that commenting on the weather was overrated.

“I’m not sure how long I will stay. Maybe I’ll leave once things start to get boring.” She grinned. “How long have you resided in this town?”

[selinakdemirs]

nathanccrane​:

Frustrating, but not unexpected—the Selin he knew never gave anything more than that which she wished to—but the desire to reel her back to his side still existed no matter how hard he tried to extinguish it. They were the same, though he was reluctant to admit it. And if she was already affecting him this much, then indefinitely could be a problem. Especially if she was consorting with men like Baccari. 

Nathan ignored her weather comment, unwilling to get waylaid by false niceties. Looking back to the water, he finished off his cigarette. It was almost laughable. “When did you turn into such an optimist? People don’t change, Selin. They just get worse.”

The burn of salt in old wounds was not the only thing which made him weary of her presence in town. The woman had always held too much power over him, forever able to claw her way beneath his skin in a way that nobody else could, it was old news. No, it was more the possibilities she presented than the memories. Reason went out the window when she was involved—life became awash with distraction. Sweet perfume, tantalising whispers, the draw of a private laugh… jealousy, rage, greed, arguments, all of it wrapped into one neat little package. It hadn’t always been that way, but any purity in their relationship had long since turned to dust. When they were together, everything they touched went up in flames.

“I’d have thought you’d learned that by now.” They held one another back and put themselves at risk of falling beneath the surface. He’d left her behind for a reason. 

Stubbing out the smoke, he rose to his feet and looked her dead in the eye. He told himself it wasn’t protectiveness that spurred his next words, but the words felt treacherously close to it.  “You should be careful not to involve yourself in things that don’t concern you. I know how you love to do that. It wouldn’t be wise, not right now.”

☾

She had wanted to leave. 

And, for the record, she’d had every intention to — Nathan had been the one to leave her all those years ago, and, petty as it was, she’d be damned if she would let him do it again — until his last warning rang in the air. 

Even as she hated herself for it, Selin stilled, halfway through turning away from him. Perhaps he had always been better at the game than she was, with how effortlessly he seemed to draw her back in. Or perhaps it was the daddy issues — the need for some form of affirmation, like a teenager rebelling when their parents ignored them for work, because any attention was better than none. 

She did not call him out for the warning that came so close to solicitude. 

If she did, it would be a silent admittance to her own bruised longing — her paradoxical heart that could only think of him with her teeth clenched, unsure of the difference between love and hunger. 

Silently, she stepped closer, lips pressed together thoughtfully. “Wasted words, my love.” Spoken softly, tips of her fingers tracing the bottom curve of his lips; the arch of his cupid’s bow as if she could find the answers of some riddle there. She wondered if she would ever get tired of this — their closeness that was both intoxicating and sharp all at once; a drunkenness wherein even if she forgot her own name, she would not forget his. 

“Anything that concerns you, concerns me.” Selin’s eyes met his icy gaze, half a dare and half a regret, echoing his own words back at him. “And don’t you know? People don’t change. They just get worse.” A grin. “Though it’s a shame — Baccari is young and handsome, but no one can quite fuck me like you can.”

[selinakdemirs]

freddiefkncrane:

nathanccrane:

Freddie’s car in the driveway had set off alarm bells in Nathan’s mind the moment he pulled in.  They still had not spoken since their fight, communicating only through their employees when it came to necessary contact, both too stubborn and too angry to move past it just yet. He knew well enough that it would not be an apology his brother was here for, which meant it was one of two options: 

1) Trouble of the business kind, not ideal. 

2) Freddie had finally given in to the desire to murder him and was waiting to do just that, even less ideal.

A momentary temptation to turn around and leave again danced in his mind—it had been a long day, he’d just finished dealing with a supplier who’d felt it fit to deliver them faulty triggers and he wasn’t in the mood to have to defend himself—however, cowardice was not in his nature. 

Stalking towards the dining room, he was surprised to hear a second voice alongside Freddie’s. He stopped in his tracks, waiting, listening. Just as his thoughts had begun to wander to the gun upstairs in his desk, they spoke again. A familiar, drawling tone.

Of course.

“I thought vampires couldn’t cross the threshold without an invite,” he greeted them, leaning in the doorway with folded arms, pushing back on the anger threatening to boil up. Neither Selin nor Freddie were a welcome sight today, especially not with her arms wrapped around him in that manner. “Or have you done something to my housekeeper?” 

// @freddiefkncrane

Freddie eyed Nathan’s beautiful ex as she indulged with her glass, curious as to what she was scheming. He didn’t like being on the outs of the surprise, but he could be swayed if he got just a small hint before Nathan came onto the scene. The eldest Crane sibling waited impatiently as Selin draped her arms around his shoulders. He wanted another taste of his bourbon, but he wanted answers more. When she whispered against his ear, Freddie didn’t know whether to smile or to frown. “Selin–” Freddie groaned softly, understanding in that instant that Nathan had no clue that this dinner was planned. 

Caught in a rather intimate-looking embrace, Freddie didn’t bother to draw away from Selin. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Truly. For once.   Nathan’s remark pulled Freddie’s attention to the doorway and the corner of his mouth twitched upward. “I can’t believe I’m saying this.. but I’m innocent.” It seemed like the right time for a sip from his glass. 

// @selinakdemirs &  @nathanccrane

As far as she knew, the only relationship in her ex’s life that came close to as tumultuous as theirs was the one he shared with his older brother, so it was difficult to tell if Nathan’s animosity sat with both their presences in his home, or purely her own. ( Or perhaps the trespassing — though really, if he was surprised at such an occurrence, then it was no one’s fault but his own for not knowing better. )

Selin did nothing to hide the grin tugging at the corners of her mouth, taking her sweet time to untangle herself from Freddie before she turned to Nathan. 

“Both of you mentioned to me separately that we should all get together,” she drawled, head tilted slightly to the side as if in thought. “So I thought to make it happen — you know, to satisfy your mutual pining.” She batted her lashes innocently from one brother to the next, as if to say: I’m the innocent one. “Is there a problem?” // @nathanccrane​ @freddiefkncrane​

[selinakdemirs]

lorelai-tseng​:

She was a little unsure of what Selin meant, and then she clarified and Lorelai was stunned. “Maternal?” Quickly moving to sit at the same table, unsure what it was with the people she was closest with breaking news of having children, but it seemed like a theme now. “Are we….happy about this?” She couldn’t tell from the woman’s demeanor if this was something she was glad about or if this felt more like an inconvenience to the life she had planned. There were various questions to ask; like who was the father? Were they together? Why did her having a child bring her here of all places? None of which she was going to beg for answers about if Selin was not looking to speak about them. Which she seemed more interested in the complain she’d made about Nathan. Sitting up a bit, she smiled at her friend’s suggestion. “Now why do you believe that he would choose the former rather than latter? It seems like he at least can tolerate you.” She used the word tolerate loosely, since mostly it seemed like the two really only seemed to argue because it was their foreplay.

☾

Are we happy about this? She honestly couldn’t say. From the moment she’d found out about the pregnancy, Selin had been busy — working around the subject; hiring help and evading her family’s questions and schemes — instead of directly facing it. Even thinking about Aslan in his given name was difficult, as if it meant he was actually real. 

“I don’t know,” she finally replied, having to force herself to relax. Despite her absolute trust in Lorelai, it was still difficult to show vulnerability. Her entire life had been spent putting a front up against the world, acting as if everything was going to plan even when they weren’t. It had always been what she considered her strength, and she wasn’t quite sure what she was without it. “Would you be happy? If you had a baby, I mean. Would you feel prepared?” They were similar in age, after all. Even if they had never personally expressed the desire, their families certainly had expected it of them long ago.

[selinakdemirs]

nathanccrane​:

It was the echo of a game they’d played many times before. Push a button here, pull at a thread there, watch the other unravel as the world around them burned. As Selin’s face twitched with almost imperceptible annoyance, Nathan found himself visited by the strange urge to smile. His eyes never left her as she looked away, but he leaned back slightly and returned his focus to the cigarette, slipping it back between his lips.

He did not allow himself to think of how easy it felt to slip into old habits.

Lorelai. A noise of derision slipped free before he could stop it. He’d never had much patience for their old schoolmates, couldn’t fathom the desire to surround oneself with the privileged brats of the past without it being a result of unavoidable necessity. Selin’s approach had always been a little different.

“Please, your world has never revolved around anybody but yourself.” He had no doubt that her presence in town had more than one motive—she was good like that. “Schoolyard reunions then, is it? I thought you didn’t like to leave your work behind unless you had no other choice.”

☾

“Perhaps,” she allowed. “But are we not one and the same?” Throughout the years, despite their various squabbles and heated banter, Selin had found that, at the very heart of things, they agreed far more often than disagreed — though the process of dissenting was much more fun than affirming outright. Whether sparring in words or lips or teeth — she’d known, even then, that she would never find a more worthy opponent and partner. 

Because if Nathan was like the ocean — steady, vast, and indecipherable; then Selin was a tempest — all too much, all at once. But did even the most violent of waves not return to the horizon, night after night?

“Besides, Lorelai isn’t what you remember of her. People can change.” And then, as if to demonstrate just that: “I’m on leave from work. Perhaps indefinitely. The weather at Providence Peak is most agreeable, don’t you think?” Spoken softly, though not without a brush of irony. 

Perhaps if she’d made the same decision a decade ago, things would’ve been different. If she had let go of her stubbornness and pride, perhaps Nate wouldn’t have left. Perhaps they could’ve been happy. It would always be the hardest thing to know, and she found herself abruptly standing up, no longer finding refuge in the dark waters before them. 

“No more answers,” Selin sighed, gathering her belongings. Though it wasn’t as if she’d given him many to begin with — despite their history, getting information out of each other was much like pulling teeth — everything they knew was learned through subtleties, patched together by time’s quiet inevitability. And she would not risk further time in the quiet of lake, where she knew he would be able to read her even without daylight. She was content to be his villain. Regret had no place in that role. 

[selinakdemirs]

hazal filiz küçükköse on instagram.

[selinakdemirs]

lorelai-tseng​:

As much as she adored her friend, it felt far too out of character for Selin to acknowledge having a life outside of business business. “Personal business? I’m sorry who are you and what have you done with the woman I have been calling my friend for far too many years to count and not feel old.” Lorelai teased as she was extremely eager to know what exactly it was that would take the other woman away from work to come here. 

it was true, there were plenty of people here that she would not have expected to also reside here. The Cranes being a perfect example as well as a few other acquaintances and friends. “Yes, I believe Nazli knew of the location first because of her association with the Jade Palace. Who knew that we would find a small little town full of not so many strangers.” She gave a little shrug finding it nothing more than mere coincidence. But at the mention of Nathan she gave an eyeroll. “Ugh the nerve of that man. He refuses to take any of my calls and so I have reached out to his brother instead. The fuddy-duddy still seems to think of me in terms of what I was like in secondary school. So I can’t say that I’ve had much contact with him. Certainly not as much as you have had.” Lorelai teased as she gave a little playful smirk, proud of her friend for her sexual discretions. 

☾

Lorelai was, of course, completely right. 

How long had it been since she’d taken a vacation from work? Even vacation stemmed from business — luxury trips under the thin veneer of friendship often presented themselves to be the deciding factor in a closer. “It’s a leave of absence,” she explained breezily, sitting atop the nearest chair as if it were her personal throne, “an extended maternal leave, of sorts.” 

Perhaps there were better ways to break the news to her longtime friend. Ways that included preludes such as, You may want a drink for this. But Selin had always been one for dramatics, enjoying the candid reactions of those who were otherwise controlled. 

“Anyway, now that I have arrived, consider your Nathan problem solved,” she continued casually, acting as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb upon the other woman. “I’ll give him a choice — go see you, or get bothered by me. Should be enough to make him run straight to your doorstep.”

[selinakdemirs]

Vladimir Nabokov, Letters to Véra

[selinakdemirs]

freddiefkncrane​:

Freddie entered Nathan’s foyer somewhat suspiciously. The Crane brothers hadn’t spoken directly to one another since their fight, but Selin had insisted that Nathan was content to host dinner for them this evening. So here Freddie was, presuming a truce would be called, but wearing a suit he didn’t care much for in case a brawl were to break out instead. Expect the worst, prepare for .. worse than that. Or something of that nature. While he was often game for a fight, Freddie wasn’t so keen on having his nose reset.. again. He carried a bottle of expensive bourbon and strode into the kitchen with it, to crack it open, finding Selin waiting. 

“Selin..” he greeted the woman with a kiss on her cheek, his eyes scanning the room afterward. No sign of Nathan. “Where is my dear brother?” He proceeded to open the bourbon and pour himself a glass, glancing back over his shoulder. “You didn’t do something naughty, did you?” He poured a glass for her as well, handing it off before gesturing for her to follow him to the dining room. It would be a shame to waste a dinner invite.   @nathanccrane @selinakdemirs​

☾

Admittedly, she was impressed — Freddie always seemed to hit it on right on the nose, especially when it came to her more mischievous endeavors. 

Still, she followed him obediently to the dining room, sipping on the bourbon. She’d always appreciated the Crane brothers’ taste in alcohol. “While I wouldn’t go as far as to call it naughty,” she moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she heard the sound of the front door unlocking, “I think you’d laugh if I ever tried to call myself nice.” A grin. Selin leaned in, her lips a breath away from his ear. “Besides, we both know how much Nathan enjoys a surprise.” Which was to say — he very much did not enjoy a surprise. // @nathanccrane​

[selinakdemirs]

nathanccrane​:

A sigh of exasperation left his lips, but not before a wave of cold fury unfurled in his chest and he was forced to take a second to clamp down on it like a vice. If she thought it would be that easy to make him break, then she was sorely mistaken. Decades of experience had taught Nathan that Selin liked a reaction. Pushing buttons was a gift of hers and she knew all of his. She was a devil sent to taunt him and had they still been in their twenties such provocation would’ve had the edges of his vision turning a dangerous red. Even now, with years of carefully carved self-control under his belt, the mental image of another man’s hands on her made him want to clench his fists. 

Very well, if it was a game she wanted then a game she would most certainly get.

He supposed he should thank her. It was a harsh reminder that he had a job to do. Perhaps he’d been too focused on the Milanos of late. With Freddie not talking to him, the reports on the situation with Baccari had deceased greatly. The mechanic was long overdue a check-up from Nathan himself.

“You know,” he murmured, leaning closer to Selin and lifting two fingers to trace them along the edge of her jaw before tilting her chin up so their eyes met. Cold eyes bore into deep brown. The words hung suspended between them. “You’re losing your edge, darling, if you think I care who you fuck.”

☾

She couldn’t help the slight tightening of her jaw; the moment when the grin slipped from her features and barely concealed anger flared. 

Perhaps it was masochistic of her — because for all the provocation she gave him, he tormented her much the same. Throughout the years, Nathan had been the only one able to keep her on her toes; match her fire with his ice. As if he could keep her from turning to ash altogether and she could keep him from going entirely numb. The pain was collateral; the pain only reminded them it was real. 

So she leaned in to his touch when he traced her jaw, eyes closing momentarily. Whether to savor the graze of his fingers or to hide the malice brewing beneath — there wasn’t much difference. “But don’t you know?” she murmured when she opened them again, meeting his gaze with a steely one of her own. He won this one, but she couldn’t help in having the last word. “I do love it when you call me darling.” 

Selin shrugged then, moving away from him and turning back to face the lake. “Though my visit to Providence Peak has nothing to do with you.” A concession. “It’s for personal business. It’s only fate that you and Lorelai reside in this town.” She took another puff from his cigarette before extending it back to him; a dismissal and white flag of sorts — though they’d often found that white was so easily stained by blood. “My world stopped revolving around you quite a while ago.”