selfluvr

[selfluvr]

thinking abt how fucking hard it is to be mentally and chronically ill and a full-time student + part-time employee

[selfluvr]

[selfluvr]

i want the world to stop for like 1 year so i can rest

[selfluvr]

That feeling when you’re all alone and want to call someone but realize there’s no one to call.

[selfluvr]

[selfluvr]

I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am. I hate everything I am.I̷͓͇̔̌̎̾̀̇́̀͘ ̴̡̰̙͔͓͎̖̹̭̾̆h̷̛̘̤̋͋͐̈́́́a̶̱̼̰̹͍̽̄͗̍��̢͇̳͖t̴̨̪̪̗̉ẽ̷̺́͆ ̶̛̞̩̫̖̗̙̗̬̆̊͆̍̓̃̀͐e̸̫͓͕̜͇̼̜̰̲̾̿̓̅̅̕ͅv̷̼̄̔ę̷͙͕͕͑͂̒͠r̵̞̂̋̿͐̓͒͑̄̑ẏ̸̛̹̰͎͊̉͗̅́̅͐̈́t̴̪̥̝̆̌̑͐́͐͂͝h̴͕̰̳̣̻̭̫̩̟̒į̷̯̼̙͓̬̬̹͖̈́̏̃̏̆̈́́̌n̸̹̣͉̽̌͗̄̽̈́̈́̐͂g̵̨͖̣̥̥̥̭̘͑̔͛̈́̏͝ ̶̧̤̩͙̝̻͍͖̖̃͒͊͗̆̔̆͜͝I̷̢̛͍͖̗̺͇̭̼̓̀͊͗͛̊̿ ̴̟͔͆͌̋̐̃̎̈́͘ǎ̵̟̍̍͘m̴̡̛̞̺̻̰̯̔ͅ.̶̞͈̿̓̽̉͘ ̴̭̈͐̽I̸̢̞̱̮͓̜̫͙̿͘ͅ ̵̡̤̯̰̦̳̠͚̩̉̔̈̎̊̋͂͠h̷̖̫̹̫͊́́̃̚ą̷͚̞͇̻̤͖̩̦͎̑̈́͌̀̉͋̓̏́͝t̴̢̧̰͚̼̰͙͆̌͊̄̈̋̂͘ẽ̶̛͉̯̏͒͌̆̕̕ ̴̥͎̣̗̗͓͗͆̃͛̽͗́̏ẻ̷̫̥̮͎̠̰͓̽̏̀ṿ̵̽̎̂̓̇̎e̸̡̡̧̛͔̘̥̮͙͍̞̋̑̔̂̂̾̈́̏̕r̵̼̮̙̟͍̙͓̹̔̾̆́͜y̵̨̢͖͘ţ̷̮̘͚̻͔̝̳̰̥͂̌h̶̢̜͎͍̎ǐ̵̛̩͙͔͕̖͈̰̣̍̃̚̚n̶̛͓̦͍͉̩̳̦̻͆̃́̃̓́̚g̴͈̪̺̬̰͇̝̉̆̌̐̿̒̀̚ͅ ̴̖͔͔̒͒͗͌̓̈́̕͝ͅḮ̵͇̻͙̌̀̃̐ ̷̛͚͓͒̌̾͝a̸̧͇̘̬̩͂̾m̷̼͖̀̓̿̐͆͋̊̚.̷̡͚̩̘̝͚͚̮̑͛̈̿̋ ̴͙̮̰͇͕̑̏ͅĮ̴̟͔̙̗̱̱͑͑̓̊̔̾̋͝ ̵̨̟̲̤̫̼͍̤͎͆̈́̈͋̓̇̏͠h̵̺͉͔̙͎̖̳̙̑̈́͝á̵̧̱̯̲͈̈̉͐̐͗̀͝ţ̴̺͈̼͎͚̼́̒̓̈́e̷̩͎̯̚ ̸̨̡͇̻̺̰̑̎̕͝e̶̠͈̫̪̭͗̐̀ͅv̴̢̰̣̦̯͙̪̑̃͘ȅ̶̼͚̎͆̈̀̓͋͊͜ŕ̷̞͕̪̹̼͊̚͜͠ỹ̵̰̭̺̖̦͙̟̜̈́͋̀̃͘͠͝ṱ̵̡̢͙̹͈̻̤̥̀̃̈́̈́̽̓̚̕ḣ̵͈̰̈́͒į̶͍̖̲̬̦̠͗̑̃́̌̄͆̅͝͝ͅṇ̴͔͖̰̫͙̞̙̖͗̀̇͝g̴͙̼̤͕̤̘͒͋͊̅͘ ̴̨̲̺̦̠̫͔̞͍͐̽̂͊͂̑͆Ī̸̡̠͓͇͈͚̗ͅͅ ̷̦͕͈̣̠̩̌͗ͅa̸̡̨̻͙͚͇͇̝͚͗̃̐ḿ̸̡͇̲̥̭̤̝̈́.̶͚͔̗̝̯̪͗̀̐̉͝ ̶͍̹̣̠͋Ị̴̥͚͇͌́̀̊ ̷̛̠̞̯͓̺̱̤̽̆̈́̂͋͗͘̚ḩ̵̤͇͖̳̥̆̅̋̄a̵̝̽͛̈́ţ̶͎̠̯̖̥͖̠̼͙́͒̏̿̚͠e̶̜̒̈̋̀ ̸̡̧̫̥̱̖͔͚͊̑̏ę̷͓͙̥̙͇͖̞̆̀̀ͅv̸̡̨̛̗͕͔͒̈̋̏̑͊̀́ͅé̸̛̗̻̟̩̝̠̮͌̑̏̌͂̚̕r̵̞̗̫̖̫͗́̀̅̂̈́ȳ̵̗̗͗̒̓̈͐ẗ̵̢͙͍̜̦́̂͒̚ȟ̵̢̢̰̯̥͈̳̓͜i̴͈̮̇n̷͈̹̬̮̄̋̕͜g̶̨͇̫̯͕̥̤͛̐͆̊̿ͅͅ ̵͐̆��̧̦̦̠̦̟̭̱̿Ĩ̸̳͇̲̱̏͊̓̚ ̶̨̱͕̰̟͔̂̾͋͂̐̾̒ͅą̴̘̈́m̶̙͚̠̞̱͈̅.̷͔̮̼̟̬̤͋͂̋͑͑͋͒̇̆͊ ̴̨̲̮̣̹̠͚̰̦̎̀̊͐͠͝ ̷̫͕͉͇̮͂͊I̷̡̙̟̼̼͉̗͇̗̝͒́̉ ̷̧̢̛̜̲̹͔̼̠̻͙̇͋́̊̕h̶̡͍̬̘̺͓̃̉̋͒̓á̷͔̺̞̣̺̜ͅt̶̳͈̘̏ͅe̸̢̞͛̃̓̕ ̵̧̝̼͓̥̓͝e̵͚͇̣͔͈̾͋̈́̂̄͐̔̚v̵̫͈̥̲̰̮̯̰͐̕̕͝è̷̼̓̉̂̆̌̓̕ṛ̴͉̳͈͈̂̂̃͜͜͝y̶̯̲̳̙̟̳̩͎̪̲̑̑̄̕̕t̵̨̡̻̺̮̹̫̭͈̥̾͗͆̂̏͑h̵̼͈̜̩̪̹̣͎͕̉̾į̷̳̝̝̮͕̮̀̎̓͑̋̽̑͝ņ̴̨̹͇̠͆͊̍̅̌̽͒̌̈g̶̗̥͉̮̀͂͐̒̆̂̄ ̸̗̻̪̺̈́̎I̵̼̫̞͕͕̱͔͓̬͉̿ ̴̹͗̈́͗͆ȃ̵̞̹̮͂̂̆ͅḿ̷̡̪̲̩̾͐̏̕.̴̢͓̤͚̠̥̪̣̐̀̍͆̋͆̑̉͗̃ ̷̧̩̽̐̋̽̅̃̀Ị̴̺̞͚͚̪̘̣̳͑ ̸̨͓̯̲̤͂̇̃̾̈̇̋̕͠h̴̡̙̬̪̰̱̫͙͍̑̓͑ͅa̶̩̝͔̞̦̤̣͎̯͑̌͗̒͊̍̇t̵͖͕̲̹̿̄̌͋́̿̄̐͐͜e̸͕̱̳̙̓͒̈͛̐͒̓ ̴̧̻̩̥̠̹̳͗̿̊̂̋̀̐̒ͅe̸͍̺̘͉̬̲̰̞̰̝̽͋̈̈́̈́̐̌̕̚͝v̶͎̻͍̏͒é̷̱̥̯̈́̌̓͘r̵͕̭̜̗̅̍̅̀̄͜͜͝y̸̢̮͕͕̜͍͎͍̫͛̈́̈͜͝ẗ̵̝͖͎͎̜̟̜́̆͜͝ḩ̵͚͔̿̓̏̍͝i̸̧̜͚̖͆͛̈́́͛̚n̶͎̟͙̲̗̯̫̱̲̔̊̑́͗̾g̸͉̓͂̐̒ͅͅ ̵̯̠̬̞̤̗̲̠̇̎̇̚Ǐ̵̢͓̻͎͕͕̓̄͒̌ ̶̧̢̲̜͔̝͇̭̇̉̎̊̈́̀̆͆͘͝a̸̹̥̥̞̝̹͐̒̓̊͆͜m̶̢̠̮̙͕͍̳̊̿̈͝ͅ.̷͚̝̻̝͖̬̎̑̕̚͝͝ͅ ̶̌́ͅI̸̢̻̟̲̥̻̠̓̑͑́̄̓͝ ̴̗̣̣̱̻̻̰̠̆̇́́͒̈́̐̚h̵̛̞͋̈́̑̽͋̈́̂͒̕ä̸̧͇̭͕̺́̏̎̾̕̕ẗ̷̡̳͕̠͉̬̖͕̟͚̈́͆e̸̛̛̹͎͖̔́̾̂̀̿̋͂ ̴̡̛͍̬̋̀̐̏̓́͐͛e̴̠̲̺̬̥̫̲͖͋̀͂͌̐̃̈́͊͜ṿ̷̧̼̫̟̈́͑́̔̽ę̵̲͕͇̩̞͐͗̈́̑͒̓̾̅͘r̴͔̖̻̾̄̿̚ÿ̴̫́͂̈ͅt̴̼̘̦͝h̷̦̙͚̜͓͚̱͊͛̇͑͆̐̒͘ͅǐ̴̡̹̆͑̄̌ņ̴͉̳̣̌͐̐̽̓͗͘g̴̛̼̲̰̀̊͑̆̚͘ͅ ̷̧̧̪̟̻͆̀͗̎͗̐̉I̵̠̖̓̄̂ ̶̢̛̳̮̇͗̅͌̾͜a̶̢͈͓̰̒̿̃̈́̀͐̏̓̿͜͝m̴̟̪̘̻̓̈́.̶̛̥͍̘̠̲̹̇͆̏̒̎̒̈̌ ̵̲͔̬̪̝͎̱̳͒̄̆̋̅́̅̔̕͝I̷̮̱͕͂̇̔͊̈͂͒ ̴̥͙̲̩̻̗͙͐̑̊̓̀̆̃̏͛͜ḩ̴̡̱̼̓̆͛̎̔a̴͈͎͍̻̦̜̰̭̥̐̑̒̊̒ͅt̷̖̩͊͐̆̇̅̈e̸̡̟̰̮̔͋̄̈͊̎̃̕͘ ̷̤̻̈́̄̌̐̾̏̀̚̕̕e̷̠̞͉̘͚͐̔̓v̷̨̞̔e̶̳͕͍̐̓͆͑͛͐̚͜r̴͙͚̅̎y̵̧̨̥̪̳̠͑̉̐̑̄͐͋̿̊͜͜t̸̨̧̹́͌̃̑̊͋̿͝ḫ̵̛͍͔̞̣̻̊͒̈́́̿̄̌͝i̷̧̡̢̦̮̟̯͌͋͐̀̌̚͜͝ṋ̷̲͐̐͘g̸̨̡͚̱̻͙͈̽̀̍̏̊̚ ̵̱̭̠̘̘͙̣̼͕̲͗͋̄I̶̧͕̞͔̘̮̦̱̗̟͌̔̀͘ ̶̼͎̕a̶͇̪͉͈̲̻̓̀͗͐̇̎͝m̵̧̧̹̳̖̃.̸̯͔̯͓̮̲̆̃̍͒̈͆̓̉͜ ̵̲͖̝̈͑͋̔͋̍̐͘̕͝I̵̼̮̳̲͎̋̅͂́́̒̌̍̊̀ ̶̲̞͎͙̱̯̥͔̟̠̿̉̏̓͠h̵̢̧̳̮̖̥̩̥̙͈̿̎͆̀́̌͂̍ȧ̸̡͇͙͙͔̟̙̰͒̈́̉̓͘t̶̪̥͎̻̕e̷̗͚̰͎͖͗̆̋͗͊̐̉ͅ ̸̢͙̝͙͔̪͔̩̗̈̈́̐̔̒̂ề̶̢͖̯̣̦̱͚̪̥͍̀̽́v̸̪̌̄̀̒̂́̂̆è̵͔̰͛̀̃͌̀̀̀́ŗ̶̙̱̮̩͇̩͕̭̬͂͌͑̅̍̃̈́̅ý̷̢̡͍̟̝̣̤̰̌̽̓̊͂͘͝͠͝t̴̯͒̂ḫ̶̛̹̣̹͙̼̤͔̽͂̓̇̃͘͠͝͠i̸̡̫̹̝̹̥͖̬͍͂̀ṉ̷̹̞̓̉̎ͅg̷̢̛̭̝͙̰̳͎̲͍̳̽̉̑̂̃̑͆ ̸̡̡̡̧̮̱̯̥̆ͅḮ̷̜͉ ̶̨̥̫͈̟̺̰͚͑a̵̜̟̥͔̥͐͗̉̋̅͆͂̃͊̾͜m̵̛̭̹̱̝̯̮̫͆͆͊̅͋.̷̢̻͈͑͋̃̈́͊̑̎̃͘̚͜ ̷̲͕̲̝͎͒̑̐͌̎͛͊̍̿ ̸̨̛̖͉͙̫̬̓͑̉̇̃̐Ĭ̷̺͍̟͙̜̿̈́͊̐͜͝ͅ ̸̧̢͖̲͎͈̥̄̓̄h̷̥͎͈̉̀͝a̷̡͇͎̽́̑̑͌̔͝t̷̨͓̾̈͊̀͑̿͛̓́ȇ̷̖̈̐͝͝ ̵̙͇̻͎̺̭̉͑̉̽́̋͛̕ȩ̸̬͔̝̱͆̽̇ͅv̶̧͈͈͓̻̟̣͖̬̑́̕̕͜e̶̮̼̻̜̮̫͎̊̑̑̄́͜ͅr̵̝̔̄̓y̴̭̯̅̈́̇͑̄̃͗͜t̷̼̦̫̳̝̫͒̄́͂ͅḩ̴̥͋̃͠î̵̗̘͍̫̜͙̼͇̏̂͋̆̈́͒͘͠n̴̳̫̜̩̠̮͈͝g̷̤͍̮̋͗̏ ̴̛̛̝̯̞̲̳̩͔͍̩̃̉̐͛̋̽̚͜Í̶̝͖̤̳̲͓̄͐̉̏̒̔̏̕͜͝ ̵̳̭͚͎̉̓̽̂̽̏̐̕͝a̸̡̲̪͑̅̊̔̂͂̏̈͠m̷̡̧͖͚̼͎̗̞̅̀̓͜.̷͓͓̞́͐̓͗͆͘͘ ̷̢̛͕̣͉̬̹͍̗̌͌̾̚̚̚I̸̗̩̱͖̩͋̓͝ ̷̫͕̰͇̱̭͚̭̌͛ḧ̸̙̜̥̥̭̖̀̑͐̌̑̇͑ǎ̷̟̥̦̣̈́͋̐͊́̚͝t̵̨̫̮̥̥͑̾͒̊͗̍̋̽͝͠ę̵̟̥͕̤̩̿ ̴̧̨̤̥̤̹̬̰̩̈́̃̾̅̓͊͌͑̀e̴͔͍̖͂v̶̢͍̰̪̥̜̟̜̹͉̑́̈́e̶̦̺͕͎̱̗̜̹͉̒̃ŗ̵͈̞̝͖̄͒̓̽̍͆͠y̶̧̬̙̥̰̼̬̩̌̓̾̄t̷̨̙̲͚̥̱̳̘̓̄̎͒̐͑̉̄̚h̸̢̧͍̦̙̔͑̊͠į̷̱̘̹͍̈́̌̈́ń̵͔̥̾̕g̶͓͓͙͚͔̭̯̰̳͆̆̆̄ ̵̙̰͎̘̑͑̍̈́̒́I̵͓͉̺̦̱͕̻̞̿̋̾̀̇͌ ̷̛̼̺̖̂̆́͊̄̓̍̿̏á̷̢̜̥̳̯̪̦̐̐̓m̸̧̜̠̪͈͚̣̪̮̗͐̏͑̔̋̽̄͒̒̽

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An hour of chaos in my mind before back to nothingness 💖

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They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me They dont care about me

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when someone doesn’t wanna tell me what i did wrong and suddenly i’m 6 years old wondering what i did to make mom mad again..

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i dont wanna just be a weird and off putting girl.

i wanna be YOUR weird and off putting girl 😔🤘🏻

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“what was the most pain you have ever felt”

healing from someone, i once thought i would heal with

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why do people only want you in the beginning

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the urge to push everyone away.