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squeezing my pussy and concentrating all the microplastics in my body to print a perfect tiny figurine of a fruit bat

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Ok so I'm taking a genetics class right now and in lab we've been given fruit flies with different mutations that we need to breed over the course of the semester.

Now, first thing I learned: fruit flies don't eat fruit. They eat yeast. They eat the yeast on fermenting fruit. They can not actually eat fruit. Their name is a lie.

Secondly, one of the two mutant lines I was given to cross are flies with the apterous mutation, aka they're wingless. I feel so bad for them, they can't do the one thing they're named for, they cant fly.

And then I realized. My fruit flies are in truth insects that eat yeast and can't fly.

Anyways, I've been calling them my yeast crawls and I am their god now.

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cloth gown gridlock

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Well it's a bit late, but here are the 2024 Tumblr memes as per usual

We have to kill this guy

Ever since I was a little girl

Tumblr Live's beautiful death

Car hammer explosion

Walrus or Fairy

Oobh I got Planty off time

Tumblr Brackets again (hot vintage poll, 60s/70s/90s/2000s music tourney)

Boop war

Friendpilled Visitmaxxer

I don't know/I'm bald

King Charles Portrait

The White Pharoah

Hey Girl, I mean They

Dashconiversary

Trump got shot

Cloudstrike

I guess we're making factory

Mikus of the world

Moo Deng

Making my bf as a cookie

Za/um break up

Boop War 2

The Healthcare CEO Assassination

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These posts are cousins to me.

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The cigarette pool toy

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Cnetizens comment on the dumpling-maker, the fillings and the finished jiaozi (dumplings)

Examples of Chinese jiaozi (Dumplings)

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Desperately needed to have this on my blog

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i don't even know what to say. Apparently my brother has been sending doja cat (singer) recipe links as instagram dms for literal YEARS now because he doesn't know an easy way to bookmark them in the app. Which led to an attempt to save recipes by just linking them to celebrities who he assumes aren't checking their dms anyways. this lifehack got him blocked by mac demarco and lorde however. Doja never blocked or responded so he just continued to use her inbox to save insta repices. FOR YEARS.

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why would you lie like that Google ai???

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Luigi Mangione's lawyer is SO good

like, she didn't miss a beat in the arraignment, calling out the police, the perp walk, the mayor...

I hope this trial is televised tbh. i will not miss a second of it if it is

ETA: ANNNNDDD calling out the mayor for not using the word "alleged".. YES!

I get SOO annoyed whenever people complain about the media using the word "alleged", especially when there is video footage of the crime happening... people complain that it's some sort of media bias, and not like... straight up a VIOLATION OF A CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT if they don't say "alleged"

The presumption of innocence is a right. Luigi's rights have been violated repeatedly in this regard.

And possibly also his right to a fair trial, since they are creating SO MUCH bias against him

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i don’t want characters with healthy coping mechanisms, actually. i want them to yearn and weep and suffer and have their brutal worldviews informed and/ or altered exclusively by their unyielding love for like. one other person. sorry

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have you heard of it!! it's called safe following distance on freeway. yeah it's the new trend that all the. cool&fuckable people are doing. or so ive heard. anyways probably worth trying

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The secret to a long lasting relationship is finding someone who hates leaving their comfort zone and then wiggle your way in there. You wiggle your way right inside their comfort zone and then you're there. By the time they notice you're there, they'll just sigh like "oh great, now there's a creature in here", but they don't want to move out of their comfort zone, and tossing you out of there would now alter the air pressure and constitution of the comfort zone too abruptly and it would pop like a bubble.

That's how you keep a relationship. You weasel your way inside someone's comfort zone and make yourself an essential component of it, so now they, too, will have to make sure that your dumb ass stays in there. Their comfort zone now has a fucking creature in it, and it's not going to be the same comfort zone if the creature isn't there.

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Your boyfriend starts mumbling in Latin in his sleep and it scares the hell out of you but upon translation he’s introducing himself, inquiring on the price of grain, attempting to sell dormice, brainstorming silly Saturnalia gift ideas. In his sleep he somehow becomes a 1st century BC plebeian, of modest means but with a pleasant outlook on mundane life.

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I love adding "Reddit" to the end of all my google searches I will never stop.

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workshopping an issue nobody is having (making gradient maps look nicer)