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Paolozzi at the Buzzer

Watercolor, gouache, and graphite on paper, 8x10”

2024

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The first time I did salvia (oh the early 2000s when you could buy a hallucinogen at the gas station), I hallucinated that I was the universe. My ribs were the edges of the universe and the contents of the universe were spilling out from between them like the pages of an accordion book. I was desperately trying to press the edges back together, to fold the pages back in (this was probably me trying to breathe normally, as my friend later told me I had been laughing hysterically and stuffing my fingers in my mouth). Something from inside the pages of the universe said “Oh, fuck, we broke his brain.” When I started coming down, I insistently told my friend “Adam, Adam, Adam, you are a universe and I am a universe and we are two universes speaking to one another.”

Anyway, I appear to be one of the few people who enjoyed salvia.

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Found in my parents’ backyard, roughly a year apart.

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GOD I have to finish a bunch of paperwork when I get home, then I have union bargaining tomorrow, and a union social in the middle of the day Saturday. I am SO looking forward to the anesthesiologist knocking me the fuck OUT on Monday.

I’m gonna wake up minus my uterus and right ovary, plus a 4 week medical leave, during which no one at work can ask me to do ANYTHING.

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Can't even boycott the last of us, can't even boycott captain america, SOME OF YOU CAN'T EVEN QUIT HARRY POTTER. And then you refuse to read some classic from a guy who's not even around to do any harm because "all the classics were written by white heterosexual men" WHICH IS NOT EVEN TRUE

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his tuoy

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hey americans there is a recall on testosterone gel because they found benzene in it! please check the lot numbers on your batches, benzene is really not something you want to be rubbing into your skin, also you might be eligible for compensation because this is just insane what the fuck

more on this page:

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in honor of 4chan exploding, I want to remind you all that they used to do “raids” on Tumblr.

they tried to flood the popular tags with gore and porn. this was when Homestuck was at its peak, so they were a target too. (side note: tags barely functioned at all at this point so trying to make them useless was like throwing a molotov into an already burning building but try telling that to 4channers)

but the Homestuck fandom was ready and countered by flooding the tag with weirder, more explicit Homestuck porn and gore.

to the point that the trolls themselves got weirded out, fucked off, and never attempted a “raid” again.

everyone moved on but I stayed there because that is one of the funniest fucking things to happen on this website.

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In a rare double own-goal the Young Nationals (the youth wing of a conservative party) posted this in their own Facebook comment section today

Naturally they have been getting completely roasted for it in the comments, leading the page to clarify they were actually referencing another blunder.

Problem is, it was a blunder by another Nationals MP that had largely gone unnoticed, so they've just dunked on their own brand twice.

The comments on both are, of course full of references to one of the great AusPol comment blunders of all time, making it possibly a rare three-for-one stuff up.

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From Jenny’s Birthday Book, written and illustrated by Esther Averill, 1954.

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You tell your cowgirl gf you want to bring toys into the bedroom and she brings out a handsaw, a vaguely rake-like implement, and two semispheroidal objects with handles

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Clean it up hiro….

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idk why people photoshopped the crying cat meme on this pic when the unedited version is so powerful

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nothing that a haircut and a wardrobe update and a detox and a sex change and a fake ID and getting medicated and selling all my stuff and faking my death and moving country can't fix

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'jerome caja,' 1993 in catherine opie: american photographer - guggenheim museum (2008)

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was measuring out some sugar and i scooped out one spoonful and fucking said "two." i didn't know you could even lose count that fast