seed-of-lives

[seed-of-lives]

I believe it's so important to not let outside hate get to you. There is so much bad in this world, do not become one of the perpetrators.

The prettiest people are those who smile, who forgive, who think positively. It'll make you feel better.

Mean people on the bus, people who judge, criticise, people who think others are always doing their worst. Ignore them, look at the good, everyone has a story and no one knows it.

If you let all the negativity get to you, it'll hurt. Don't be bitter, leave hatred for others. You are only love. Only kindness. Smiles. Happiness.

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February 14th

I think I have self-sabotaging tendencies. Why would I go to bed so late, waste time doing useless stuff that I don't even like, care so much about bad people's words and opinions, not eat when I'm hungry, ect., otherwise?

And I'm not even particularly inclined towards fixing this stuff, because it feels like such an integral part of myself.

Anyway. Today I caught up on a bit of sleep. It is now 1:30 am and I'm going to sleep though, so I don't think it really worked.

[seed-of-lives]

February 12th

Hey hey hey!!! I'm double back.

Today was soo packed: school, lunch, cleaning, meeting friends, studying, reading, homework and finally now sleep. Although it is 2:30 am so I should hurry.

I'm proud that I've been reading this much these past two days.

[seed-of-lives]

I'M BACK!! MOSTLY HEALTHY!!

I decided, this February I want to be less caring, about school, others, everything.

I'll try to exercise in not caring about school the way I usually do, no more going over, but spending all the extra time which I never know what to do with. I want to watch more movies and tv, for example. Then eventually also start reading more books. Like, no more going over, no more worrying, bring all the bad grades, all the disappointment and the comments.

None of them know me, and what's good for me as I do. And I know this is very important for me, though they could probably never understand. I'll do my part, I'll forgive and still do my work but that's it. I'll just read and trust myself, and if I don't get it, if I fail, who cares? I'll go again.

I don't know if 'uncaring february' works as a name, but I'll make it. Just focus on the important things, family, friends and growth. I will not ontain that from books right now. They do their part but they're not the only part. And also they'll be there even when I'm 40, while my present will not.

[seed-of-lives]

🧸28th-31st January 🩰

Ok I'm sorry I disappeared,

The test on Tuesday went ok, I think.

On Wednesday I got a bit overwhelmed with all the work to do.

Yesterday I got sick and stayed home... I have a fever :')

I also have a test so I dunno, if I feel better should I go? It depends on how I feel later today.

[seed-of-lives]

🧸27th January 🩰

Monday.

I got a great mark! And I found my notes! And I studied for like 2/3 hours which is a great result for me.

I also stayed awake until 2:30 doom scrolling, generally wasting time, and finally studying/revising for my test tomorrow. I did almost everything and honestly I don't care that much about this test.

Overall, there have been worse days. I'd also taken a nap this afternoon, it'll be fine.

[seed-of-lives]

🧸24th, 25th, 26th January🩰

I missed a few days because I was so busy I got home late everyday, but I was still productive.

On Friday I was out all day for school and an event and I got home very late. Also, I made a new friend!! It seems crazy but I guess stuff like this can actually happen. I'm pretty sure we have the same taste in a lot of things. There are so many people I want to get closer to.

Saturday was not a bad day at all, actually it was nice. I saw someone nice on my way to school, everything went well and I even had fun with my family and my cousin who I hadn't seen in a month in the afternoon. That was nice. However, I also got a mark I feel I didn't deserve on a test. I made so many very stupid errors, I should have gotten almost perfect, but I got a barely passing grade. And usually I'm very good at this subject, actually one of the few who is, one of the few who does the homework. I literally passed it to half of the class once. So that upset me. And I also lost a couple of things I really needed and one of my books which I desperately need because it has all my notes. But I'm sure I'll find it tomorrow and I'll feel really stupid.

Today I had a great breakfast, I washed my hair before lunch and I was quick and efficient. The food was good. Then I had tea and sweets (so good), a nap, I read a little, and finally I got started on homework and studying. Tomorrow I have a test, and the day after as well. I have to study a lot tomorrow because I haven't started yet but with the thought of the book I couldn't concentrate.

If I don't find it I'll print some pages for now and then ask someone for their notes. But that won't be necessary because I'll find it.

It's kind of early and I'm going to sleep. I washed my face, my teeth, I have my pyjama on (I lost the bottom though and I'm using shorts which is such a bad idea) and I have done all my homework and studying and I'm growing.

[seed-of-lives]

how I felt going to college by choice on a Sunday cuz I can’t study at home💪🏽

[seed-of-lives]

15 Days Productivity Challenge 🐧

DAY 10 26/01/2025

WHAT I DID TODAY

♡ Helped mom with laundry and other household chores.

♡ Read unit 1 (Crystal Structure)

Screentime Studytime

(suffered from horrible cramps, so couldn't study much)

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slow rhythm of January stream forward

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I think the "view previous reblog button" is the path to a magical travel, going through time and people, letting you see what way a post has come.

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I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.

[seed-of-lives]

Today is a nice shower and washing my hair but it's short (usually it takes me 1 or 2 hours, today it was only 30 minutes!!).

A good story.

And a cup of tea with sweets before starting homework.

I have so much to do but I'm also happy. I don't care if I fail, these are the actual important things.

[seed-of-lives]

[seed-of-lives]

🧸23rd January 🩰

Thursday.

I slept 8 hours but still at school I wasn't able to focus that much...

After lunch and some reading (still ffs, I have yet to begin reading books) I started studying but I wasn't really motivated and I got through like a page that was fairly simple and then I read another two that were really hard to understand (two out of three).

Finally, I downloaded one of those study apps and put on the chronometer along with some light no-lyrics music and I finally read everything, went back to some stuff we had skipped though it was important to be able to understand the next part, which meant that I was able to more or less understand those three hard pages. And even though I felt like giving up at half, though I wanted to stop and do something else for a bit, I continued studying until I finished.

I'm so happy about that!! I hope it'll make tracking study time easier. I swear I have no idea where it goes.

I must admit though that I took a kind of break in the middle to finish writing a thing, which was good for me, but it really was neither related to school, not that important.

I truly believe that timer will save my life because it really makes me aware of such things.

For tomorrow, I have a way too long day ahead... It's 23:15, one hour later than yesterday.

[seed-of-lives]

[seed-of-lives]

🧸22nd January🩰

I'm starting to think that the month should go first. Mhhhhh.

Anyway, today. School. Then Mum. Then a little bit of homework. Actually I basically didn't do anything.

I think I should download one of those cute apps to time studying so I know how much time I'm spending and value it. And actually use it. For the rest, today I read a lot of ffs, but I barely used socials so that's good. I prefer ffs to socials. The next step is reading books instead of ffs. So for tomorrow I'll try to read the book I have for school for February as much as I can.

My main problem is that I don't really know where my time goes, even when I do sit down and start studying. Also, I'm really slow. I hope to fix these problems through the timer because I found that for hair washing it kind of worked. Maybe it didn't actually reduce my time but I believe that it helped in cutting uselessly long parts, which is what I hope to do.

After all, spending five minutes on a minor detail is harer when you see the time passing in front of you.

(For some people it might be anxiousness inducing, but I barely feel anxious for anything really, so that's great. If you want tips I can give them, though I don't promise anything)

Also I'm going to bed "early" (22:15)!!!