secrets-in-disguise

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The npc in every fetch quest :

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good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place ���

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i’ve been informed there’s a point in which german dub dean says the german f slur dear god

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destiel going canon only in spanish and an episode of the animaniacs reboot getting pulled for showing a number to a phone sex hotline within 12 hours of each other is the cherry on top of this batshit fucking month

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me baking: haha fuck yeah!!! yes!!!

me cleaning up: well this fucking sucks. what the fuck

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Friendly reminder that this creepy moment existed. 

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Gandalf, taking a hit from his joint: Did you guys know that mithril is super expensive? Like insanely valuable? That it’s very much a finite resource mostly plundered from the earth and invaluable due to its many uses? And also Sauron has most of it so it’s now lost to its Elven and Dwarvish makers? And to think Bilbo’s precious gift of mithril mail is probably sitting in the local Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum. Just makes you think lol ...

Gimli, a dwarf who has lost most of his people’s cultural artefacts: ... I’m sorry Bilbo was given what and did what with it

Frodo, secretly wearing Bilbo’s mithril mail at that very moment but only after nearly 70 years of it sitting in the Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum gathering dust because Bilbo had no idea his cool shirt was worth approximately the net value of their entire country:

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Political parody became impossible when the british prime minister fucked that pig. Like there's never going to be a scandal that outmatches the time that world leader David Cameron put his dick in a dead pig as a joke. Recourse just flew out the fucking window for meaningful consequences happening for anything when a head of state was implicated in necrozoophilia and then continued to be a head of state for a year afterwards. And this was AFTER black mirror had a fictional pm fuck a pig, intended as satire. They didn't know satire was dead, like the pig, that he fucked, as a prank.

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me waiting for the next hyperfixation to consume me and give me renewed inspiration and purpose in life:

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When the quarantine is over my mattress is gonna look like chell's bed at the beginning of portal 2

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"...hello police? this person drew a stick figure for me online after i threatened to call the police on them for tax evasion. why are you laughing stop it"

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#inconspicuous winking

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a collection of covid tweets, part 5

(the tweet collection series)

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Some of you might remember my bunny, Pan. She’s such a squishy little baby 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 This is her in case you forgot;

Anyway, Pan has a boyfriend. We’ve actually had him longer than her, but I don’t think I’ve posted him here before. Anyway, I thought it was time I introduce you. His name is Merlin and he’s just as squishy;

And he’s so photogenic;

Seriously, he could be a model if he wanted to;

And athletic to boot!

And there’s no one he loves more than Pan

Except... maybe for food.

💚💚💚💚