secretly-ascending-watermel-blog

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

Honestly I’m not gonna survive the apocalypse. Y'all go on gathering berries and drinking cockroach milk (apparently) and forming barter economies and I’m gonna stay in my house until the last of my seltzer runs out and then I’m gonna put on an all cashmere outfit and lay down and die. Have fun fending off the coyotes and doomsday cults and living on expired canned goods in a world with no more Netflix. Pass.

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

did I ever mention that I know someone whose family owned a zombie dog because that’s some real shit that I get to delight with at parties

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

Pharmacology quick reference

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

game of thrones | text posts

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DOGS MASCULINITY

HES A DOG

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

anyway I (begrudgingly) saw suicide squad with some friends last night and it has got to be one of the choppiest movies I’ve ever seen. also at one point harley quinn says “normal is a setting on a dryer” and it was rlly difficult not to laugh

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

Imagine when you died, you woke up sitting in a circle with a bunch of aliens, you’re holding a bong, and one alien excitedly asks, “How was it man?”

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

DIY Watercolors

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

sew-much-to-do: a visual collection of sewing tutorials/patterns, knitting, diy, crafts, recipes, etc.

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

Fireworks in reverse

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

kONMORI Method:Organizing clothes

Proper folding methods. For myself to remember

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

some jackalope: "shark infested waters"

me cupping my hands around my mouth: THEY LIVE THERE

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

Reblog for a smile ❤

[secretly-ascending-watermel-blog]

so i work at target and two kids ran outside shouting at their clearly exasperated mother that there’s a squirtle outside and it took everything in me not to follow them out until my fucking manager went “A SQUIRTLE?!” and ran outside to catch it

and i can’t get over it because that sounds like a clearly fake text post but it happened because EVERYTHING coming from this game sounds fake like if someone told me they caught a dragonite and the whole bus rose in a standing ovation i would fucking believe it because that’s the kind of shit that happens with pokemon go

like clearly 2016 is a fake year but finally we’re getting something unreal that’s actually good