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and I will proceed to not say anything because I don't want to distract her :')))

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I just fucking want a little bit of goddamn attention but instead it just fucking feels like I'm being ignored.

Like just

I dunno she seems to be paying more attention to her game and every time I fucking say anything she doesn't hear me

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it really took hey over 5 hours to answer me huh

and I still didn't get the comfort I asked for so I just said I was okay because I'm just too upset and frustrated to do anything else right now

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her: lemme introduce you to my friends!!

Me: is uncomfortable around every friend she's introduced me to except the ones she no longer hangs out around.

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it really feels like cheating

like she talks about doing hypnosis with others and making them cum and just

I'm fine with the hypnosis don't get me wrong

but I'm still her girlfriend? like

I dunno maybe I'm just overthinking it but using it to basically have sex with people feels wrong?

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I feel like I made her upset

I didn't mean to

I'm so bad at emotions

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I'm starting to think she doesn't actually like calling me any more..

I should just go to bed

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I think my partner cheated on me with their coworker.....

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I'm so glad that she got to excitedly ramble but I feel like I didn't even talk to her

I could barely listen and didn't retain most of what she said and I feel bad and I'm about to cry cause I wanted to be able to have an actual conversation and I can't do that cause I couldn't focus on her rambling

and I know nothing about what she's learning and so I got kinda really upset cause that wasn't what I was expecting and it was such a short time and hhhhh I feel bad for being upset over it because she was obviously so so happy and excited and I just can't get into it

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I know she probably wasn't actually yelling at me but hhh I feel really bad now

I wasn't trying to nag at her I was just worried

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I think she's starting to love them more than me and they aren't even dating...

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self harming for the soul

relapsing on May the 4th is a great idea I think

May the 4th be with you and may the terrible mental health be with me <3

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I want to ✨die✨ and so I'm avoiding people so that won't know I'm not dead!! Is this healthy? absolutely not but hey it's fine I'm fine I don't want to exist~

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Having to listen to your crush talk about their crush is both nice because they trust you enough to do so and painful because like unrequited love

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hnnnnn I can't be huffy dominant but I don't wanna tell her that cause then she's gonna feel bad and then I'm gonna feel bad for making her feel bad and no one is going to have a good time

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I really need some comfort but she was so fucking tired and she had a terrible day and she really needed rest but I feel like shit and now I'm going to just act okay with everyone around me the rest of the night because I don't want to be a burden and I hope she sleeps well but I really need her

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maybe her mom is right

maybe I am a bad influence on her mental health