secret-santner
Secret Santner
20 posts
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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Moomba
Glenn has a balloon tied around his wrist and a beer in his hand. It’s not often they’re home in March, so it’s strange for them to to be able to enjoy the sunshine without having to slather zinc across their noses. Across the river there is a constant stream of people attempting to fly, some dressed as ducks and other with elaborately engineered wing sets all of them failing. Aaron is reaching between them to grab a cold beer from the esky, his eyes bright like his smile as the man dressed as a duck falls a mere metre from the platform.
Aaron let their bottles clink together with a grin.
“Cheers.”
Day drinking, Melbourne, Balloons & A Duck (Pairing of my choice)
For @albiegeorge​
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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Hello everyone
Your Mod is trash and has the time management skills of a toddler.
Secret Santer will officially run until Feb 3rd. That will be the day for final reveals and after that a list of everything will be complied.
If you haven’t already please check out the fics that have already been posted and leave some love to our lovely authors.
Cheers, H
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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Hi everyone!
There is another Secret Santner fic that was revealed today! Go and share some love!
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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On the first day of Secret Santner my true love gave to me...
4 fics for your reading enjoyment.
Look me in the eye by @albiegeorge
The Skype Date by @albiegeorge
It's a Long, Lonely Night, When You Ain't by My Side by @somesunnyda-y
Selfies by @freddi11
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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hiiii I was just wondering what the deadline is for secret santner is?
Hi hi hi!
The final day for reveals was meant to be the 13th of Jan, but I might open it up until the end of January because I haven’t written anything yet :/
Also! Hello to those who have posted fics already, I haven’t revealed because I’m a terrible person and my computer is having a moment. But hopefully this weekend I can do the reveals!
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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“Do you, really, need to make that incident report?”
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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This sounds like an AU
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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Another 1,667 needs to be written
Your prompts
“You stole my dog.”
“I can’t afford this or you anymore.”
“Can���t you just wish it true?”
“I have a lot of concerns about this.”
“We were never that close.”
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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one cannot have enough of cute and random aus so here have some more
“You’re the cute and quiet customer that frequents the coffee shop where I’m a barista and also where my rival barista works and we’re both fighting for your attention in increasingly creative and inconspicuous ways (making foam art, writing cheesy pick-up lines on your napkin etc. etc.)” AU.
“You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU.
“You’re an Art student and I’m an English major and you keep stealing the papers for my assignment to doodle and I would kill you but you’re really cute and hey that’s actually a really nice sketch” AU.
“You’re the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished” AU.
“The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???” AU.
“I ditch prom to attend a local poetry slam and you’re also there and I never really noticed what a cute smile you have and hey do you maybe want to bond over our mutual love for ‘Howl’???” AU.
“You’re new in town and you seem very intimidating but as it turns out you have an awful sense of direction even with a map and you’re actually adorkable so here let me help you” AU.
“It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious and I think I love you???” AU.
“It’s gym class and we’re playing volleyball and you spike really well and you manage to hit the ball square in my face and I think I’m bleeding and you’re apologizing profusely and it’s okay but you’re really cute so I guess I’ll take you up on that offer for coffee” AU.
“You’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee” AU.
“Our mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t know either of you” AU.
“Our mutual friend invites us for Thanksgiving dinner with their other friends and now there’s a full-fledged food fight going on with potatoes and turkey flying everywhere and we’re both seeking refuge under the table whilst sharing a bag of chips that you brought (just in case)” AU.
“You and I are both baristas at a coffee shop and one day I step out of the café to take a break and walk in on you gleefully drawing phallic pictures on the chalkboard outside that no one pays attention to so what are you doing?” AU.
“You and I go out to a sushi bar and the sushi chef yells at you for being allergic to a particular kind of fish and now you’re crying and I’m trying to comfort you” AU.
“You and I are at a sushi restaurant and you’re continuously snagging sushi off the belt that I have to pay for and you don’t seem to be going to stop anytime soon but you look so cute when you’re eating with that smile on your face what the hell man” AU.
“The mailman constantly mixes up your home address and mine together and keeps on sending me your letters and packages and I’m sorry I look through them but your life seems very interesting as well as those books on black magic in one of your packages so wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?” AU.
“We’re both strangers sitting in the same booth at an eatery because all the other booths are full and you’re drawing smiley faces on your plate with ketchup and wow your concentrated frown is cute” AU.
“It’s our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re the only ones at the ceremony who are single” AU.
“You’re my roommate and it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how Charles Dickens inspired prison reform and how the moon must feel insignificant because it borrows light from the sun and this is all very interesting but will you please shut up and go to sleep” AU.
“You’re actually a really friendly and chill vampire and at night you float around outside of my bedroom window to talk with me about the universe and stuff” AU.
“You’re going through my sketchbook and giving questioning looks and I swear to God I’m just a deranged artist and not a serial killer” AU.
“We live next door to each other and I can see you through the window while you’re dancing to your iPod in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and God you’re a dork” AU.
“I’ve been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what to make of you” AU.
“I’m sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad” AU.
“There’s a scrawny black cat in our neighborhood that hates everyone and everything but follows you around for some reason and I see you pet it and feed it fish fries are you a witch” AU
“I’m a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile” AU.
“You’re the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and everybody’s scared of you and one day I catch you watching cat videos and doodling in the middle of a lecture and wow you’re a dork” AU.
“I work part-time as a cashier at the local corner store and you come here regularly to shop and bond with me over the microwavable chicken bites so how about I take you out on a proper date instead?” AU.
“I’m the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad” AU.
“You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU.
“You’re a tea-lover yet you come to the coffee shop where I work at just to see my foam art and you give me hefty tips regularly so I’ve taken it upon myself to master the art of tea-making just for you” AU.
“I’m a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared” AU.
“You work at a fast food restaurant and as you hand me my food you lecture me for ruining my health what is this hypocrisy” AU.
“I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?” AU.
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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AU prompts: masterlist of lists
Okay so if you’re anything like me you see those lists of au ideas floating around and you like them but when it comes time to write something and you need an idea you have no idea what you tagged them as or if they’re buried somewhere in your likes so….have a list of some of the ones I’ve come across! This is updated with new lists and fixed links fairly frequently so check back here if you’d like more! 
also: there are a few lists that people have requested that i have not been able to find so if you know of one/write one, please send it to me. my messages/ask/submit are all open. WANTED: expectant parents/parents with newborns aus, historical aus
 (updated on november 6th, 2016) 
(current count: ~163 lists + 39 individual prompts)
themed:
super long list of college aus
more college aus
even more college aus
autumn aus
it’s really cold outside aus
meet-ugly
art school aus
femslash aus
they know each other but don’t know that they know each other aus
awkward first meeting aus
MORE college aus
airport related aus
fake married/dating trope
pub aus (here for halloween season)
royal aus
assassin aus
opposites attract
lots more under the cut, the post was getting unwieldy
Keep reading
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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You need to write those 1,667 words now.
Here are some prompts
“That doesn’t explain all the sprinkles.”
“Just sell me your pants.”
“No officer, I don’t know how that planet got in here.”
“Your going to die in here.”
“I need my swords for this.”
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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Prompt #412
“One kiss before we die?”
“You can get the kiss when we survive, so move!”
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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BITTER SOULMATE PROMPTS
( because the world needs more salt && complications. feel free to change up the context or pronouns! )
❛❛ No. No, no, no — you really don’t want me as a soulmate. ❜❜ ❛❛ So, you’re the unfortunate soul stuck with me. ❜❜ ❛❛ Can we just - forget about this? ❜❜ ❛❛ We’re not meant for each other. Trust me. ❜❜ ❛❛ You’re my soulmate? Wow - talk about a let-down. ❜❜ ❛❛ We were only supposed to be friends. ❜❜ ❛❛ Something’s wrong with this shit system. We are not soulmates! ❜❜ ❛❛ How is that I love them more, when you’re my soulmate? ❜❜ ❛❛ I know how you look at him - even though you’re not his. ❜❜ ❛❛ Please, believe me. You are not my soulmate. You can’t be. ❜❜ ❛❛ I don’t want a soulmate. ❜❜ ❛❛ Find someone else - I don’t need this in my life. ❜❜ ❛❛ No way - I can’t have TWO soulmates. ❜❜ ❛❛ I’m not very good with commitment, or soulmates, or love. ❜❜ ❛❛ Oh - this. This is a joke. Very funny. You can call April Fools now. ❜❜ ❛❛ I’m not good enough for you. This is wrong. ❜❜ ❛❛ Life is cruel, huh? Pairing us together like this. ❜❜ ❛❛ To think we were fated to grow old together makes my stomach turn. ❜❜ ❛❛ Why is fate such a bitch? Why are you a bitch? ❜❜ ❛❛ This wasn’t supposed to be real. It was a joke. ❜❜ ❛❛ I don’t know what’s worse. The fact you love them, or the fact I love you. ❜❜ ❛❛ I’m not suddenly trusting you with my heart! Or anything! ❜❜ ❛❛ I wish I could clean this mark off with some fate-Windex or something. ❜❜ ❛❛ Scary, right? Tied to a person you might not even know. ❜❜ ❛❛ I can’t trust you to love me. Not fully. ❜❜ ❛❛ We weren’t supposed to fall in love like this. ❜❜ ❛❛ I’m going to be frank, && say I have zero attraction to you. So this is a mistake. ❜❜ ❛❛ We’re rivals. Not soulmates. We’re supposed to be at each other’s throats. ❜❜ ❛❛ Things were better before this stupid mark, & stupid fate. ❜❜ ❛❛ I’ve tried. You can’t cut the string. I’ve tried, trust me, I’ve tried. ❜❜ ❛❛ This mark. It appeared this morning. I don’t want it - I. Don’t. Want. It. ❜❜    
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments" 
1)     Coffee shop AU
i)       Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order
ii)      I’m worried about your coffee dependency
iii)     you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E
iv)     you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino
2)      Flower shop AU
i)       You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m concerned as to why
ii)      I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that
iii)     (this is also a good way to incorporate flower meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)
3)      Library AU
i)       You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down
ii)      I work in the library and I’m a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying
iii)     The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere
4)      Awful first time meeting
i)       I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something
ii)      I thought you were my friend who’s just done something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole
iii)     You get the gist to this one
iv)     Oooh when you told me your name I thought you were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)
5)      Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general
i)       We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together
ii)      “okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going to die aren’t I?”
iii)     A personal favourite of mine – first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night
iv)     We keep accidentally running into each other I’m not a stalker I swear
v)      You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable
vi)     “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”
6)      Friends to romance – pining and all that wonderful shit
i)       You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you
ii)      I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex
iii)     You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?
iv)     Somewhere along the way of getting into bar fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING
v)      Friends with benefits oh wait I like you
7)      FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS
i)       It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me
ii)      My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?
iii)     There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?
iv)     I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP
8)      Soulmate aus
i)       The first words your true love(s) will say to you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like  the opening lines of uptown funk or a high school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you saw me asshole?
ii)      You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my mind of a fucking unicorn
iii)     The more ridiculous the better actually
iv)     Something like whenever your soulmate sings a duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band but I can’t sing for shit
v)      Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)
9)      Alternate universes for real
i)       Mermaids
ii)      Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but what the fuck is happening
iii)     Hogwarts
iv)     We live in a world where the greek gods are real and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to sort this shit out why do I love you again?
v)      Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)
vi)     Literally any movie or book universe you like tbh just go for it
10)   Other aus that I like
i)       I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck
ii)      We work in the same office and you have a goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ANNOYS ME
iii)     Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this
iv)     It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war
v)      It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in love with them actually that works for established relationship too)
vi)     Current partner got a new job in America (or other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)
vii)   You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses
viii)  Carrying on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???
ix)     You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??
x)      You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute
xi)     I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh
xii)   I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water
xiii)  Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”
xiv)  You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no
Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of auing already I have too many ideas christ
send me some to @theskyis-forever with a pairing for me to write :)
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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Types Of Kisses 2
1. Whispering “I love you” between kisses 
2. That little moan during the kiss when you bite their lip 
3. Both pulling each other into the kiss 
4. Kisses on the forehead to make the person feel better 
5. Soft kisses on the neck that make you giggle and Person A kisses you more on the neck just to hear you laugh 
6. The super long kiss that wasn’t intended
7. A kiss on the hand before asking them to dance
8. Kisses that travel from the person’s face down to their neck (height difference)
9. Quick kisses that you steal from each other at parties 
10. Not being able to speak properly after the kiss ends 
Bonus: Tracing the other’s lip after kissing them because those are the softest lips you know and you kissed those lips 
I’m trying to get better at my writing……lemme know what I need to work on please, to make my work better!
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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dialogue prompts that really butter my eggroll
”Wait, when did I take off my clothes?” 
“I am fully convinced you never graduated kindergarden.” 
“Was there a scuffle?” 
“I’m not here, actually, this is a projection from… Mars… I moved there recently.” 
“This is going to sound controversial, but I think that went well.”
“You have no idea how to make a toast?!”
 “I haven’t showered in four days.” 
“Tell them how you screwed up.”
“Until the day you learn how to start a normal conversation, I will have to be there to fix the messes you make.” 
“You’re more zombie than human.” 
“I don’t know what the question was but without a doubt my answer is ‘I don’t know’.” 
“We settle this the old fashion way, like real men: dance off.” 
“Try not to gasp.”
“Well this just scrambles my eggs.”
“Look, I’m not the brightest tool in the… toolbox.”
“Am I doing it right?“
“I am the backbone of this household.”
”With all due respect, I’m going to ignore everything you just said.”
“You killed my box!”
“You have the audacity to wake me up but not actually die.”
“This is pretty funny, though.”
“That’s because of my complete and utter failure of being a well-mannered, functioning member of society.”
“No forts without me!”
“You got me detective… looks like I’m going to liars jail.”
“I have one speed: none.”
“You did this! You’re still doing it!”
“Don’t make it weird!”
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secret-santner · 6 years ago
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top 10 hallmark christmas movie formulas, ranked:
two strangers pretend to be engaged to appease the wrath of an angry, blonde mother who will comment on the woman’s loneliness throughout christmas dinner 
ordinary new york city girl falls in love with the prince of a small and entirely white european country 
corporate shill learns how to love from a small town business owner running a bookshop/dog park/inn/christmas tree farm
two strangers get stuck in an enchanted vacation home that tricks them into falling in love
an unhappy extremely rich widower hires a woman to be a governess/tutor/party planner for his children in the style of sound of music
two strangers get trapped in a magic elevator and are forced (??) to be unfaithful to their current partners
two corporate shills compete over a promotion and eventually realize they want to fuck on the desk
two traveling strangers get stuck in a snow storm and fall in love in a small, conveniently placed, overly christmasy inn
business woman returns to her hometown for work and reunites with her overly masculine ex boyfriend
person A (talented) enlists help from person B (just hot) to win a floral/ice carving/baking/parade competition
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