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I think I'm going to remember this phrase every time I cook for the next five years

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guys please dont kill urselves we're gonna be the funniest weirdest generation of old people it's gonna be so awesome

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i genuinely think ocd is incredibly underdiagnosed bc i will see people posting what are obvious rituals, compulsions, intrusive thoughts, spiralling, hyper morality, etc and its like Have You Considered This Might Be An Issue

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*puts the tip of my sword in your mouth* enough, you will only talk when I tell you t- stop sucking on it

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oh fuck yeah

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a magical girl? all girls are magical, you fool

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My housemate's cat came into my room while my dictation was on...

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⚠️ Warning: Super gay thing ⚠️

You 🫵

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I mean surely we all grew up feeling like there was a wrongness inherently deep inside us that will endure for the rest of our lives

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yeah, sorry i exhibited symptoms of the disorder i told you i have. it will happen again because i have that disorder and will continue having it. hope this helps!! 🫶🫶🫶

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On Friendship.

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They have something like 20 alive greys at area 51 and they have already gotten all they can from from them so they just make the the poor lil fellas fight. Im talking bare knuckle weak little noodle arms slamming into those huge noggins. Really sick and twisted stuff.

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fuck it we ball