scratchticket - Tumblr blog

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Cool instagram story of your golden retriever dog, bro . I’m imagining the worst shit in the world happening to you for no reason

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bonehilda breakin’ it down. 

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jack of no trades. master of fuck all

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they want you to make fried rice

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MOTHER: now eat your vegetables honey so you can grow up big and strong

WOKE SON: i dont WANT to grow up big and strong. i want to be a Twink

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toxic boyfriend who says "manip-ya later!!!" as hes leaving the house to go cheat on you

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Its fine to enjoy standup comedy as long as you remember they are purely evil beings whose physical vessels need be destroyed

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redownloaded instagram and got sucked into reels and it’s truly like an alternate reality happening over there. video of a girl being like “looking back on my cringe 2021 taste….” and it’s a pic of her wearing like. jeans and a top. the top has a checkerboard pattern. she’s like screaming in agony. the comments are all like “omg not the microtrend 😭 i can’t believe i ever wore that” like woah. i think you guys are crazy

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why is club penguin shaped like the toilet from art ?

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In a world full of white guys punching drywall dare to be the white guy who punches the mirror after staring into it broodingly

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me, unsure of how to add an additional piece of context to my sentence:

the humble parentheses:

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i like to make myself super sad and then walk into a crowded area and watch all the empaths fall to the floor and start writhing in pain

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can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like pooping farts