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I believe that leadership and mentorship go hand-in-hand with one another. I really enjoy Drew Dudley’s take on leadership and what that means for the average person. 

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Struggling with disappointment

Recently, in one of my mentor-mentee relationships I was let down. Over the past year we have been building a solid foundation of trust and support and it almost came crashing down in the past few weeks. As it turns out my “Little” has been lying to me about a few things that we frequently talk about, one of them being his grades in school. Initially I felt betrayed and crushed. I felt like nothing I had been doing was getting through to him and that he didn’t trust me. These feeling almost made me quit altogether. However, I thought it over, mulling on the thoughts for about a week before I finally had a breakthrough. During my critical self-assessment of why I was feeling that way, I applied something one of my mentors taught me: to put myself in their shoes. 

Last week I sat him down to tell him I know about it bad grades, etc... He looks shocked and sick that I had found out. I told him I understand why he would do this and that I would never be disappointed or angry with his struggles. And I told him that we should start studying together so we both can apply ourselves more. I told him to express his feelings and to do a little self-reflection as to why he did what he did. 

Although it was a speed bump, I actually think we are going to recover. A violation of trust isn’t fun, but with the right knowledge you can continue the relationship.

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I’ve been reading a lot lately on how to get more out of my mentorship relationships and I really liked this article by Chrissy Scivicque. It gives great context to what the relationship should be and how to start one, as well as what to expect. 

Just since starting this blog two months ago my understanding of mentorship has changed almost entirely. I went from believing it was an agreement to knowing that it can be any form of relationship between two people. I also know now that its extremely important to have a mentor in your professional life, for job and career growth, etc... 

I hope you read this article because it sums mentorship up more easily than I could.

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Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.

Alfred Adler

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Another kind of mentorship I have recently encountered is the professional kind.

Professional Mentorship is something that isn’t advertised, nor is it a benefit of a job, nor is it really something that is popular. I just happened to meet a Casper native named “Mac” and he has been a commercial airline pilot for nearly 30 years. When I found out he was a pilot I made the comment, “I wish I could do that” and he asked me “why wasn’t I?” He fought my every excuse and explained to me how to become a pilot and what kind of education I would I need. Answering all my questions, not in the one meeting I had with him but in the several times we have ate lunch or played golf together. Mac has changed my life, he took a once distant dream of mine and made it a reality. He has been mentoring me for a few years now since I first met him, and has given me valuable occupational information that will be useful in my career as a pilot. 

I strongly encourage those out there that are seeking jobs they know little about or have a strong desire to accomplish, to find a professional mentor to help you achieve your dreams.

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Problems

This week Conner (my Little) asked me about the gun control debate and what I thought. Coming from a 14 year old teenager I thought this was a question I should definitely spend time answering. I started by telling him there is no simple answer to any problem we have in society, whether that's gun control, abortion, etc... I asked him to think about every angle possible and to weigh his own values against what the media and others are telling him. I believe it is important to critically think and critique opinions and view points not only so we can develop our own but so we can expand our knowledge of any given subject.

I don’t like giving political opinions online but I will stress this to my readers; that every social problem is a complex issue and therefore must take a complex and well thought out solution to resolve.

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Personal Growth

I would like to be brief with this one. 

In order to have personal growth, one must seek personal growth. You can grow in many ways and my favorite way to grow is by reading. By reading I find that you can live and learn through these written stories. One of my favorite authors to read is the 20th century novelist Ernest Hemingway. Through all his stories I was able to live another life, though short but educational. 

I believe having the ability to learn through fictional and/or non-fictional hardships and triumphs help us achieve personal growth. 

This post is inspired by me re-read The Old Man and the Sea. Pick it up and read it if you haven’t. It’s a Pulitzer Prize winner so it’s worth it.

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My little

This past week I spent more than a few hours with my little. My little is my little brother through Big Brothers Big Sisters. He comes from a pretty rough situation where his family is in pieces and his father is nonexistent and because of this he doesn't get the attention teenage kids need and I try to give him that. I believe that all kids need positive influences in their lives. My positive  influences were the reasons I have made it here and will continue to succeed. 

So, this week my little and I sat down to make some goals. He had never had someone talk to him about goal setting and he is 14 years old already. I started with Stephen Covey’s seven habits of highly successful people, which is as follows: 1. Be Proactive, 2. Begin with the End in Mind, 3. Put First Things First, 4. Think Win/Win, 5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood, 6. Synergize, and 7. Sharpen the Saw. 

We only went over the first two habits and we are working on them. I helped him set a goal and it involves doing steps every day. I stressed with him the need to be proactive, in order to succeed in life you must help yourself by working hard every single day. 

His goal is simple. He wants to be able to do 100 push-ups in one set. This goal is his short term goal that is a step towards his long term goal, which is to be an officer in the U.S. Marine Corps. That leads to the second thing we talked over, Begin with the End in Mind. His end-game is to go to college, obtain a degree, and become an officer in the most selective branch of the military in the United States. 

I told him to think of that end-game every day when he is doing push-ups, every time he feels down, every day when he feels down, because it will help motivate him. So far he is flying through his daily goals and headed at a great pace to achieve his short term goal. 

After the last year with my little I am finally seeing visible changes in his attitude and actions. I urge everyone reading this to be patient if they are a mentor or teacher, because it may take a long time to see results. 

Thaddeus Bullard said the most important thing for a mentor to be is authentic. Be authentic in all your words and actions with those you are teaching and guiding. And that is what I do with my little and the rewards and feeling of satisfaction I am now receiving are abundant and amazing. 

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Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.

- Margaret J. Wheatley

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Introduction

Hello world, 

First things first, this blog is going to be about growing as a person. I always reflect upon myself every new year to see how I've changed and this year I wanted to begin sharing the things I've learned or observed throughout my short 26-year life. I want to give only a few tidbits about myself so I leave some mystery and you can learn about me every post. Also, bear with me this is my first blog ever so I might not be very good at it... 

For my first post I wanted to share how much reading has affected my life. In the most positive way possible literature has allowed me to live several lives and grow through that insight. Most recently I read Beneath A Scarlet Sky by Mark Sullivan, this book is about an 18-year-old Italian boy during World War II. It’s a true story and I urge anyone that likes historical-type books to pick it up! I marveled at the things Pino (the main character) was able to do at such a young age. Extreme courage in the face of extreme adversity is what Pino displays throughout the book.  

I like to think I am a brave and courageous man, but the truth is I don’t know.  

As my Grandpa Jack use to say, "Being brave is good, but being smart is the best". 

Respectfully, 

OGF

Scito te ipsum - Know yourself