schlapschlap

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sometimes normal conversations have penis in the background

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the first rule of being on the internet is you should have other stuff going on, besides being on the internet

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this new tumblr ad kinda crazy

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guess i'll put this here too, even though its past the day in my timezone lol

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Me reading the posts on my dashboard

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It really sucks that 4chan is some cesspool hellhole of a site because honestly, as someone with adhd and autism their posting system is second to none. You're telling me every post is just a bullet point list of the most important points of a post? Every story is condensed into only the parts that matter? Its fucking golden but unfortunately its in use on the totally anonymous say awful things with no consequences site

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Menswear guy’s ability to own is so powerful he even owns himself.

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born a girl, grew up in the great swag boom of 2012, now i'm a boy. that's the power of #swag

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so much of what people attribute to like inherent biological differences between age groups is a lot more just the result of having different amounts of life experience. is that teenager functionally brain damaged because their brain is "underdeveloped" or have they only been alive for 14 years and thus do not have the same amount of practical experience + wisdom to draw on when dealing with difficult situations.

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I'm not gonna lie this is like the most inspiring tattoo I've ever seen I keep coming back to it and admiring it everything about it

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it’s crazy how a double bacon cheeseburger is probably the single healthiest thing a human can eat

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Why is the man bald in every pegging video uploaded to earth?

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have y'all heard about the reproductive biology of honey bees. no, not the thing about the queen and everything. I mean how the males (drones) only exist to fly out and congregate at mysteriously determined locations in the sky in huge numbers, where they meet up with queens on their mating flights. And a drone can only have sex once, because when he mates with a queen, he essentially pops such a massive boner that it drains all the blood from his body, paralyzing him as the act rips his dick off killing him instantly.

The queen mates with a dozen or two drones on her mating flight (which is the only one she will ever take- she keeps the sperm from the drones alive in her body for the rest of her life, which can be several years). The next drone has to pull his fallen brother's severed dick out of the queen before he too can mate with her, meeting the same grisly fate and the cycle repeats.

Showing up to the gang bang and everybody is just dying like flies around you

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Back when i worked i spent 8 hours packaging chicken skewers and the first day i was so exhausted that i couldn't stop shaking and whenever i closed my eyes to sleep i kept seeing chicken skewers and i couldn't get the smell out of my clothes so i did my best to picture images of The Beatles instesd but they kept fading & turned into chicken skewers like in some horrible nightmare and i was miserable