scarfaxia

[scarfaxia]

The Hellcrew, except it's just out of context Class of '09 quotes

Disclaimers:

1: I do not own any of these characters. All of these characters belong to @sanityshorror, @gracilissart, and @scarfaxia. This excludes anyone just labeled as "random," obviously

2: I literally haven't even been here for a full year yet so most of this is just going off of vibes

3, to my mutuals specifically: idk how y'all feel about splatterpunk, but if you really hate it then just block the hellcrew tag

4: some quotes are paraphrased in order to fit the characters better

5: Hellcrew and Co09 typical drugs, suicide, pedophilia, SA, etc. content warnings apply

6: realized too late that there was a bunch of good stuff that I just straight up forgot about so I just went ahead and added them, fuck it

-

Seraphina, dramatically and drunkenly venting to nobody in particular: ...And get this, his suicide note was stuck to the fridge with a Cookie Monster magnet. All he wrote on it; [REDACTED]'s fault...

Seraphina, turning to the group: I was [REDACTED] by the way, hi, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO HIM?!

-

Random: Y'know something? You're feisty. I like that in my female students.

Duvessa: I got a feeling you like something else in your female students too.

-

Julius: If your BMI is under 25 you should just automatically get an A.

Kelly, running past him: Do something bitch!

-

Seamus: I'm pretty sure the photography teacher is a white nationalist

Kelly: ...I said "the tuna's good today" and you just replied with that

-

Julius: You work at an asylum and you're giving me the "age is just a number" talk? Shouldn't you do that on your court date?

Lucien: Sorry, I don't play tennis

-

Duvessa: A house full of depraved porn and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?

Cian: What was that?

Duvessa: Oh- just... I wanted a chat like this for so long!

-

Seraphina, talking to Duvessa: ...It's an art course anyway, like doing your makeup's a huge step down

Killian, coming up to them: What's up you whores

-

Julius: Okay, huffing at least one of these should get me fucked up, right?

-

Kelly, drunk af and pissed at Seamus: Fuck photography! It's for people who like animals!

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Kelly: I have done literally nothing to give you this impression of me

Seraphina: You ever play with a sleeping teammate's ass?

Kelly: ...Not in a gay way

Seraphina: Uh huh.

Kelly: how is that gay?

-

Devlin: He's kinda nice. I wouldn't be surprised if he burned down a convenience store, but yeah he's nice

-

Killian: But whatever, now my mom's addicted to heroin again. How was your spring break?

-

Cian: Think about it. You're some loser with a gun and your wife doesn't want to fuck you, so you go out, shoot a teenager, and get a paid trip to Bermuda

Devlin: That sounds kinda good actually

Cian: You gonna join the academy?

Devlin: Why would I? I'll never be in a situation where my spouse doesn't want to fuck me because I'm a perfect 10 with a high libido

-

Duvessa: You're a really pretty blonde Hitler with a drug problem

Seraphina: See, if guys came up with that I'd actually go out with them

-

Seamus: Kelly? I didn't know you were in AP history

Kelly: Huh? No, I'm not in AP history

Seamus: Then why are you reading Mein Kampf?

Kelly: ... I'm racist now

Seamus: Oh, alright *walks away*

Kelly: Man Seamus's cool about anything

-

Annabella: You brought me here to cook crack!?

Julius: Yeah? What else is baking soda for?

Annabella: I don't know, baking?

-

Killian: But then you gotta ask; would you rather be alone? Or have a hot twisted bitch who demeans you in public but gives AMAZING head? These are the real questions that plague society

-

Lucien: Like gender, age is just another number on your driver's license

Julius: Um... How do you feel about that, Killian? Do you have an "I feel" statement?

Killian: I feel like he wants to fuck children

- (new additions start here)

Killian: Titty and Xanax, what a combo

Julius: Goes together like peanut butter and Percocet

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Seamus: The psychiatrists might disagree but have you considered listening to the voices in your head?

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Octavian: Drake and Josh is on, this better be good

Sullivan: What the fuck, still?

-

Octavian: He has McDonald's! Dev, where'd you get McDonald's?

Devlin: ...McDonald's

Octavian: Bitch give me a fry

Devlin: Is that how you ask?

Octavian: Bitch, please give me a fry

-

Killian: No seriously, your eyeliner's always sharp, your lipgloss matches your lips, you're actually really pretty

Duvessa: ...Thanks?

Killian: That's why I wanna look you in the face when I STAB YOU

-

Kelly: Could I choke you while we make out?

-

Seraphina: We're friends, don't worry about it

Julius: ...Are you trying to have sex with me?

Seraphina: Not really

Julius: Yeah I have no idea how to process this

-

Killian: I have a knife don't even fucking try me

Julius: Oh, what are gonna do with that?

Killian: Stab you and watch the skeet pour out

Julius: Not if I choke you first!

Killian: I'll spit in your face!

Julius: I'll spit in your mouth!

Killian: I'll like it!

Annabella, who happened to be passing by: ...What is happening-

Random, to Annabella: SHHHH

Julius: Will you spit in mine back?

Killian: I'll bite your bottom lip and make you fucking bleed

Julius: Promise to kiss me after- No..No!

Julius: *walking away* Oh Jesus help me! It's not love it's just lust, it's not love it's just lust!

Annabella: ...What the fuck just happened?

-

Cian: Bitch why don't you shut the fuck up before I slit your throat and watch the honor roll out?

Duvessa: Are you threatening me?

Cian: No, I'm hitting on you. Flash me a titty, bitch

-

Julius: My fucking piece of shit dad who I wanna kill works for a charity business

Lucien: Is there- okay, we don't need to explore that one

-

Seraphina: It's pretty ass

Killian: It's J-Lo after her second kid ass

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Julius: What's gayer: dating a guy, or wanting a guy to have sex with your dead body?

Emily, just trying to eat dinner: ...dating a guy?

Julius: *sighs* still straight

-

Julius: You know, you remind me of my wife a bit. I WANNA FUCKING KILL MY WIFE!

Random: Oh my god, what-

Julius: SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT ON THE TILED FLOOR!

Random: NO! NO PLEASE DON'T I'M SORRY!

Julius: Now that's more like it! I'll call you girls an ambulance, one sec

-

Killian: Bitches gettin killed. Women dying is cool

-

[scarfaxia]

someone turned my meme into a sticker?? 😭

My friend gave me a Cat Liu sticker

Cutie

[scarfaxia]

executive dysfunction tips! It gets easier to do a task if you dress appropriately first!! It’s much easier to get started once you’re wearing the right clothes for the headspace. For example if you need to clean your room, try putting on a maid dress! If you need to make dinner, try putting on a maid dress! If you need to accept visitors, try putting on a maid dress! If you need to poison the tea that will be served to your mistress’ esteemed guests in an effort to ensure her suitors never take your mistress’ hand from you, try putting on a-

[scarfaxia]

What's the worst thing Lucien has ever said while talking to you? If you could bleed, would your ears regularly just. Pour blood. From the shit that man says? Did he give you PTSD? Do you need a lawyer for justice?

oh...

oh the horrors I've lived through. you wouldn't believe

what have I done to deserve having to spend an eternity with this man.....

[scarfaxia]

Is lucien described as handsome?

yes! Lucien is objectively quite attractive, that's how he managed to get away with everything at the asylum. people were too distracted by his looks (or they were scared and intimidated by him.) to realize what a horrible and disgusting monster he truly was.

Now, as a demon, Lucien has let himself go quite a lot. He still looks just as good as he did when he was a human but, he doesn't smell that great..like...at all

he needs to shower

[scarfaxia]

what does Devlin like to do in his free time??

Devlin spends most if not all of his free time with Cian! usually they're either in their bedroom (winkwink) drinking, doing drugs or being menaces to society. basically, they constantly enable each other's addictions.

when Cian's out doing mob boss stuff he usually hangs out with Killian and they have their "bro time" together. they get up to almost the same stuff as Cian and Dev

Cian and Killian > @sanityshorror

[scarfaxia]

'Louisa Pussy - Cat Sleeps Late (1929) from the' The Fairy Caravan 'by Beatrix Potter.

[scarfaxia]

ya actually those arent typos i just spell words however i want to

[scarfaxia]

"[My name is] Glinda. The "ga" is silent." Ariana Grande-Butera starring as Glinda Upland WICKED (2024) Dir. Jon M. Chu

[scarfaxia]

"how to prevent smile lines" there are a thousand more important things to do with your time than postpone evidence of life's joy on your face

[scarfaxia]

25 december. met with the pale expanse of snow i think of your skin, frigid against the dying heat of my own. your thumb grazing across that fragile artery of mine,  my blood freezing like river water under your tender touch no winter was as cold as i felt then, frozen in your grasp. i miss you. merry christmas, my love.

[scarfaxia]

cold? fear not, seraphina is here. merry christmas everyone

[scarfaxia]

what you see before you die

[scarfaxia]

Hello, i saw you were looking for asks so, i was wondering if you could maybe draw homicidal liu,,, doing like anything, he could even be at like ordering at a mcdonalds or something, i just would enjoy seeing him in your style!

aint no way I got McDonald asks for both the wood brothers

[scarfaxia]

I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS LIU DAY

Liu 😸

[scarfaxia]

I would just like to say something as the Christmas ordering season hits peak:

Fast fashion isn’t just harmful because of its production methods; it also encourages buying clothing in excessive quantities. Low prices and constant sales lower the barrier for “hauls,” leading consumers to purchase items they barely like. A month later, these pieces often get discarded—bought not because someone wanted the garment, but because they enjoyed the thrill of receiving a package.

In many ways, it’s like short-form content you can wear—an endless stream of cheaply made items designed for quick dopamine hits rather than long-term enjoyment. These garments are deliberately manufactured to wear out and keep you coming back for more, feeding a cycle of impulsive consumption.

I’m not saying you should shop at brands like Shein or Temu. In fact, no matter where you shop, it’s essential to buy with intention, purchase sparingly, and maintain your clothes so they last for years.

One final point- many people overlook the fact that some fast fashion items contain harmful substances like lead. This isn’t just a worker health issue—it’s also a concern for the consumer. When we talk about the consequences of fast fashion, we need to consider both environmental impact and personal well-being.

[scarfaxia]

uuuh girl,

ya pfp...are ya ok ?

if not , i hope ya better soon <3

Ted

I am excellent, thank you for asking