Text
well im so stupid
#great now he sees me as a manyak#which yeah i am but is#is that really all im being boiled down to now?#what about our late night discussions? our topics and analysis of movies and stuff?#werent we friends first?#what the fuck ever#im sorry im also kinda sad that he views me that when#yeah i like reading and knowing those things because i dont have any experience on those things#i always worried that i wont enjoy myself because i never learned my preferences#and that makes me a manyak when he was literally so many of my firsts?#fuck alright then#i shouldve waited#made me learn i went too fast and didnt uphold the boundaries i wanted to set for myself#and gave so much to a guy who was emotionally unavailable and would never have picked me
0 notes
Text
x
#im weak#im so freaking weak#but so is he#we cant keep our resolve to stay platonic#and yknow what thats shit#im just delaying the inevitable#and prolonging the hurt i feel#when will i start to respect myself
0 notes
Text
x
#you think youre the main character in a romantic drama#and you remember that youre in real life#and that the first time you have deep feelings for someone#doesnt mean its a happy ending
0 notes
Text
i really am a stupid motherfucker
#MOVE ON#he doesnt even ask you about your life anymore#which is shit since i thought he was my friend but whatever#WHATEVER#you shouldn’t have expected anything#and yknow what#fuck him#honestly fuck him#im going to make plans and make new friends#and be able to love myself again#if he doesnt want to be with me and be in my life even as a friend#alright whatever#it is what it fucking is
0 notes
Text
x
#has our dynamic changed#or has it always been that way#and that we were just sexting and pretending to be more than what we were to each other#that now that its gone#you stopped talking to me#no i cant#i cant have imagined it#you were one of my closest friends#i trusted you#and you told me the same thing#was that all a lie#do i not mean anything to you anymore except an obligation#not even a friend
0 notes
Text
x
#well what a way to give me mixed signals#i feel like he just lusts over me sadly#maybe thats something i should tell myself to get over him#but since he’s a close friend imma talk to him first#try and set boundaries that since we talked about ending whatever it is we have#that we cant continue doing hugs and cuddles because my heart cant take it#its giving me false hope#but ironically when i decided to talk to him i feel a bit more free#and secure with my decision#because i deserve better than whatever we’re doing
0 notes
Text
x
#im so jealous it hurts#i only told my best friend this but#everyone around me is pairing up#and getting happy endings#and im just#im just still fucking pining over him
0 notes
Text
how it feels to have thoughts and feelings and problems you lowkey can't talk to anyone about
#when youre still broken up about the situationship but no one except the other party knows#and you cant talk to him about it either
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
you know whats so shitty about this situation
#is the fact that we both like each other#and we both know it#but because of the complicated situation we cant#he basically told me if the situation was different#he’d try and pursue me#fuck fuck FUCK#that just made my heart hurt more#we just admitted how we missed hugging and cuddling together#and thinking about how we’d have themed date night watches#and fuck it hurts
0 notes
Text
IM GOING TO SCREAM
#i lived years without wanting cuddles and hugs#and now im freaking craving it#i was standing next to him and i just wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and put my head on his shoulder#god damn it
0 notes
Text
x
#im so confused#i thought he’d be talking to me less#but it seems like he’s reaching out to me even more than when we were sexting#like what the hell#but it is nice#the dynamic feels like how it was before all the sexting and stuff#like i have the banter with my close friend again
0 notes
Text
Joy Sullivan, from “At the Airport”, Instructions for Traveling West
22K notes
·
View notes
Text
x
0 notes
Text
x
#i mean i expected that outcome#we did go way too far last tuesday#and he’s forbidden for a reason#im both relieved and sad#but at least i get to keep him as a friend#but ill be carrying this burden#and ill just need to learn how to grow from it
0 notes
Text
x
0 notes