say-abra-cadaver

[say-abra-cadaver]

It's calm and peaceful outside tonight.

I hear the crickets chirp in delight

while images and stories dance in my head

I'd rather it be a bullet instead.

[say-abra-cadaver]

How do you admit your faults and accept them? How do you make people see you in the way you see yourself?

You hurt them and then take it out on yourself until they take it out on you. Self destruct. Have a reason to live life the way you want. You'll scream in your head eternally.

[say-abra-cadaver]

Here I am alone again,

inside my head is not my friend.

[say-abra-cadaver]

Have you ever just sat there and had a wave of desolation hit you?

Everything goes grey. Hurt.

Why does life have to be this?

Do I want to die? I ask myself that..

[say-abra-cadaver]

I love and hate my friends.

[say-abra-cadaver]

I'll let you go ya know?

[say-abra-cadaver]

The Final Act: Peace

So I'm actually thinking about suicide. Not planning it out, more sore just daydreaming about ceasing to exist.. I don't wish to die, but I can't cope with the way my head makes me feel when I don't want to agree with it.

[say-abra-cadaver]

What will be of me, 5 years from now? I can't picture it.

I have an anxiety attack when I try to, because the thought of living that long terrifies me.

[say-abra-cadaver]

Masturbate 👏🏻 that 👏🏻 stress 👏🏻 away 👏🏻

[say-abra-cadaver]

Let me ask you, in all seriousness. Who the fuck do you think you are?

Delibitch

[say-abra-cadaver]

[say-abra-cadaver]

[say-abra-cadaver]

Why is being alive so difficult?

Humans are created with an innate instinct to above all survive

So what went wrong with me?

I don't want to be alive

20.11.19

[say-abra-cadaver]

An old friend

I forgave, but won't forget. I live my life with no regrets. I have to tell myself to hold back, to keep my life all on track.

[say-abra-cadaver]

Here I am again.

Shit, fuck, ass, twat.

[say-abra-cadaver]

So much makes sense.

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”

— Steve Maraboli (via goodreadss)

[say-abra-cadaver]

Behold, a time traveling Nazi Penguin Sword Master has been tormenting my kin, I shall do great battle with him.

And this is what happens when you're sober but still a fucking insomniac.