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i鈥檓 continuing to self sabotage
i鈥檝e ruined myself
i can鈥檛 finish
i feel selfish
i feel used
i鈥檓 stupid it鈥檚 not fair for me to shut down like that
i don鈥檛 think it was the only thought it was also me feeling insecure about how i look
it鈥檚 also about how i鈥檓 worried he doesn鈥檛 like what he鈥檚 seeing
i鈥檓 not comfortable in my skin
i want to feel like it鈥檚 not an option that i have no choice but to help him
it鈥檚 not realistic of me to want that of him
why am i always getting in the way of my own happiness
i hope he forgives me & i hope he understands
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feeling incredibly fucked over
the self sabotage is outstanding
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