save-the-horse-ride-a-cowboy

[save-the-horse-ride-a-cowboy]

how it felt watching the wolverine/deadpool honda odyssey “fight” scene

[save-the-horse-ride-a-cowboy]

attention all weird autistic boys !!

There's a boy out there for you :) There's a boy who will sit there and listen to you ramble for hours, yes even when you stutter and the words won't come out of your brain right. There's a boy who will hold you through the meltdowns and shutdowns, or give you space if you need it. There's a boy who will see you acting "cringe" or "childish" and just unapologetically autistic and he'll hold your hand and ask "man, how did you get so adorable?" As a treat this boy could even be autistic too <3

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I LOVE YOU:

trans boys

cis boys

disabled boys

chubby boys

skinny boys

demiboys

catboys

puppy boys

fem boys

masc boys

bi boys

gay boys

pan boys

et cetera et cetera I LOVE YOU ALL

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I. WANT. A. BOYFRIEND. SO. BADLY.

I want a boyfriend to play with my hair and run their hands through it. I want a boyfriend to gush about my interests to. I want a boyfriend to go on adventures with. I want a boyfriend to get boba with. I want a boyfriend to study with. I want a boyfriend who will affirm my gender by calling me 'handsome', 'manly', etc. I want a boyfriend who I can hug and cuddle with when I'm upset. I want a boyfriend who will binge watch shows with me. I want a boyfriend who will respect my boundaries and won't pressure me into things I'm not ready for. I want a boyfriend that shares my interests and will geek out about them with me. I want a boyfriend that will ask what I'm reading and listen to me explain the plot. I want a boyfriend who I can be vulnerable and honest with about anything and everything. I want a boyfriend who will take me out for a 3 am car ride where we listen to our favorite songs and sing along loudly.

Basically, I just really want a boyfriend.

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Oh my god, I am so done and tired with everything... I just wanna have cuddles with a boy who sees and likes me as a boy while we listen to romantic songs...

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About being a freak, queer, trans etc.

In all the years I've spent going back and forth with my gender, being sure one day and unsure the next about how I wanted to present, if I wanted to be more fem or masc, if I wanted to be neither of them, there's one thing that I never wished: I never wished to be born cis.

There's something so magical in being trans. To me it's like a never ending childlike wonder of myself and others. I see my body as a white canvas I can do anything with and as a playground for me to explore and find secrets at every turn. It's shedding so many times that I had hundreds of silhouettes and I'm not even 30. It's seeing the most deepest and honest smiles when you hang out with your peers, and they're fully themselves and you are fully yourself even if it's just for one moment.

Being trans is being more naked than ever. My understanding of my own flesh at its core like I'm dissecting it once a year is so whole and complete. Noticing the patterns, the intricate map of my skin, how it grows and stretch with every change even well before HRT as I was practicing new poses and expressions and clothes.

I don't see myself as a flower, I see myself as a whole garden, with bees and critters everywhere, bursting with life in the warmth of the sun under a sky as blue as the cleanest seas.

Regarding the way others see me, mind you, I always was, and I mean ALWAYS, all my life, seen as a freak.

Try to picture this, even tnough you maybe can because this is the story of a whole bunch of us: growing up as a goth, queer and undiagnosed autistic girl, in a little shitty town, the last child of a family of disabled and neurodivergent folks that everyone saw as a family of, well, freaks. The teachers at school knew your brother who was bullied, and your sister who always caused troubles. They don’t know which of these paths you’re going to take but they sure as hell don’t like you. And the only other queer kids you know are a couple of girls who’d chugg down vodka before class in middle school because they were not accepted at home and bullied during recess.

My first queer relationship, also in middle school, was the typical “I loved her to the moon and back but she only wanted to experiment” and it tore down my soul. It took me years to recover from this. I think that, apart from my longest relationship to date, I never put that much of myself into someone I loved. But she was just goofing around and I mean, fair, we were kids, but man did it hurt. I resented her for years after. Now I just hope she’s happy and doing the job she always dreamed of doing.

Anyways, all that to say that I was used to being seen as an outcast. I hated that for years and tried and tried again and again to fit in. It doesn’t work. Because this in not the answer. Remember when I said that my family members were always all disabled ? My father espacially was physically disabled (and probably also autistic but undiagnosed), and he’s still to this day one of the most ableist person I’ve ever met. He knew his kids weren’t “normal”. He fought tooth and nails for us to fit in. Because that’s how he survived. But despite it all, it never worked. Because you can’t force your way into society’s standards.

I never felt more free than when I just gave up trying to. If I was going to be seen as weird anyways, might as well go all the way. Dress as I please, date who I wanted (another story for another time but it didn’t go as planned), enjoy the shit I enjoyed, unapologetically. And guess what ? It stopped the bullying. Because I gained confidence in myself and most of all, pride. I grew proud of being an outcast, so much so that people just started to be like “well, they’re like that anyways” and left me the fuck alone.

I’m rambling lmao but I think it’s important to be aware that nobody will live your life for you. Being your weird self, it’s so hard, butn so rewarding. More rewarding than anything. You’ll start making new relationships based on you TRUE self, you’ll go all the way for your passions, and trust me, you’ll be more free than anyone who bent themselves to fit in the mold and still need to painfully stretch their limbs everyday to keep the act on.

I know that sometimes it’s something you have to do to survive, and that’s perfectly okay. But don’t forget to keep your true self close and to let them out from time to time, okay ? Water down your inner garden. That’s the only way you will truly live.

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I want a boyfriend. Someone who's devoted to me and actually enjoys my company and doesn't just pretend to like everyone else. Someone to do that little thumb thing while we hold hands. Someone to share hoodies with. Someone who remembers little things about me. Someone who picks me flowers. Someone i can share my music with.

But i can't get that, can i?

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struck by the urge to be a gentleman for him. i yearn to take his hand and kiss the back of it, bring him bouquets of flowers just because, open doors for him while i bow and say "after you, sir" and giggle a little afterwards.

i need to be his good old-fashioned lover boyyy

[save-the-horse-ride-a-cowboy]

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A boyfriend to go on little dates with

A boyfriend to hang out with

A boyfriend to play videogames with

Please? Please?

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God I want a man to share little moments with me. Like waking up and getting ready, I want someone to make those mundane moments feel special

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I want to draw constellations on someone’s skin with my finger tips, and kiss every stretch mark, freckle, spot that beautifully litters their skin. To be able to tell someone they are my sun, my moon, and my stars. �� and the only thing I am is lucky, lucky to exist in the same universe and time as them.

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Going to a farrmer's market with a guy, getting some food and sitting under the shade of a tree while listening to the music being played around us.

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Can the boys on here stop yearning and start kissing eachother already!! Geez!

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Oh nooo I’m a sleepy tboy in a big shirt and boxers, but with no boy to hold me and kiss me and run his hands all over my body :( what a tragedy

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Need to get kissed by a boy and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and

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