savageshadows

[savageshadows]

what subtle way do you show love?

"you're the exception"

your emotional walls have walls. seriously, you've guarded yourself so well, you sometimes forget how to look over your own walls and see the beauty of the world outside the safety of the protection you've set up. you forget how to escape the confines you built for yourself, that is, but some people (some incredibly rare people) somehow know their way through that intricate maze of walls and thorns around you. they're the exception, and terrifying as it might be at first, you'll let them know eventually. you smile at them where you'd scowl at another. you crack a joke where you'd usually stay quiet. you find yourself opening up more than you'd ever imagined. don't tear your fortress down if you don't want to, but maybe try to build your loved ones a little home inside it instead. you don't have to be alone. you deserve better than being alone in there.

[savageshadows]

VERSE ONE ( Main D & D )

This is the main universe for Be'lakor and will be the default unless specified. Be'lakor is roaming the wilds, trying to gather information by killing soldiers and stealing goods on the main road to the kingdom which Rasolan commands in order to infiltrate and kill him. Rasolan has also put out a hit for her chimera pelt, the reward is 300 platinum pieces.

VERSE TWO ( General Fantasy )

Just any fantasy outside of d&d. Be'lakor remains the same in her thirst for blood plot this just changes her looks from black skin, horns and such to human.

VERSE THREE ( Modern Earth )

This is for our earth and our world, please specify this verse in ask.

VERSE FOUR ( Shadow Lich )

This is one of the endings to Be'lakor's plots where she successfully kills Rasolan and takes over his kingdom. She takes her own life to become a lich bloom centered at the throne. Be'lakor now twists the earth, feeding and consuming more and more off of the blood & life essence of people to expand her bloom. Her purpose is too reclaim all the wilds and revert humanity back to its primal state. ( She is beyond help or redemption. )

[savageshadows]

like this to be added to beh's carrd page! (i got it made finally)

[savageshadows]

i think i wanna try to write lich druid be'lakor. i just love the idea that she in the end doesn't just die but she becomes something she hates in order to protect and continue her work as a shadow druid. to reclaim the earth and the wild.

anyone interested in that?

[savageshadows]

friendly reminder that even if i take ages to reply, i still want to roleplay with you

[savageshadows]

˗ˏˋ PEOPLE I WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER !

last song i listened to: fat juicy & wet by burno mars / sexxy red

favorite colour: orange

currently watching: project runway

last movie / tv show i watched: project runway

spicy / savory / sweet: savory!

relationship status: longterm partnership

last thing i googled: how to legally change name

current obsession: horsetok.

stolen from @rotdame.

[savageshadows]

act2 be'lakor takes off her hood. i'm trying to envision which hairstyle would fit for her next. she had long wild unruly hair previously.

[savageshadows]

valentine's day application

Name: Age: Do you like to cuddle?: Can we make-out?: A night in or dinner out?: Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: What makes you a good Valentine?: Would you cook for me?: Would you let me cook for you?:

[savageshadows]

for all her blustering, be'lakor is a princess in bed. she likes to be pampered, touched and served. but also being ordered around, someone who will fight back and put her in place as queen of the pillows.

[savageshadows]

"I carve my path with blood and bone."

volibear, league of legends.

[savageshadows]

UNSEEN  WAR.

A  collection  of  angst  prompts  that  delve  into  the  struggles  of  soldiers  facing  PTSD,  survivor’s  guilt,  and  the  lingering  scars  of  war.  Themes  of  mental  health,  trauma,  substance  abuse,  suicidal  ideation,  hypervigilance,  combat,  loss,  identity,  and  alienation.  Feel  free  to  add  your  own  edits  as  wanted  or  needed.

" I  keep  his  picture  in  my  wallet,  like  it’s  gonna  bring  him  back. "

" We  were  all  just  kids  playing  soldier,  and  now  we’re  men  with  scars. "

" They  trained  me  to  fight  wars,  but  no  one  trained  me  to  live  after. "

" I'm  not  a  fuckin'  hero...I'm  just  a  guy  who  got  out  alive. "

" Doc  can  his  fuckin'  PTSD  and  shove  it  up  his  ass.  It’s  just  me  trying  to  remember  how  to  survive  in  this  goddamn  world. "

" We  joked  about  not  making  it,  but  it  was  just  that...a  joke.  Until  it  wasn’t."

" You  ever  wake  up  and  think,  'Fuck,  why  didn’t  that  last  bullet  hit  me  instead?'  'Cause  I  sure  do.  Every  single  night. "

" They  called  it  collateral  damage.  Like  it  wasn’t  somebody’s  damn  family! "

" Every  time  I  close  my  eyes,  I  see  his  face.  I  can’t  keep  doing  this. "

" I  miss  home,  but  y'know  what?  Can’t  even  remember  what  home  feels  like  anymore. "

" The  worst  part  isn’t  what  we  did;  it’s  how  normal  this  shit  is  starting  to  feel. "

" Don’t  fuckin'  tell  me  to  ‘man  up.’  You  weren’t  there!  You  didn't  see  what  I  did! "

" Sometimes  I  wonder  if  it  would’ve  been  better  if  I  hadn’t  made  it  back. "

" They  said  we’re  heroes,  but  I  don’t  feel  like  one.  Heroes  don’t  do  what  we’ve  done. "

" There's  nothing  wrong  with  me.  I'm  fine,  I  don't  need  help. "

" Even  back  in  society,  when  I  look  in  the  mirror,  I  still  see  myself  in  uniform;  covered  in  sweat,  dirt,  blood,  gunpower.  I  don't  think  I  ever  truly  came  back  home. "

" Goddamn  it,  I  told  you  to  keep  your  fuckin'  head  down!  The  hell  were  you  thinkin'!? "

" You  can’t  fix  me,  so  stop  fuckin'  trying  to. "

" If  I  have  to  fold  one  more  goddamn  flag  for  a  funeral,  I’m  gonna  lose  it."

" We  didn’t  join  up  to  be  heroes.  We  just  didn’t  know  what  the  fuck  else  to  do. "

" Fuck.  I  shouldn’t  have  told  him  it  was  clear.  It  wasn’t  clear. "

" They  keep  saying  it  wasn’t  our  fault,  but  it  sure  as  hell  feels  like  it. "

" Sometimes  I  forget  why  we  were  even  there  in  the  first  place. "

" I’m  tired  of  waking  up  every  day  wishing  I  hadn’t. "

" We’re  not  soldiers  anymore.  Now  we’re  just  survivors. "

" I  don’t  pray  anymore.  Not  after  everything  we  saw.  God  can't  save  me  from  that  shit. "

" You  can’t  just  ‘leave  it  behind.’  It  follows  you.  Every  damn  step  of  the  way.  It  just—it  just  never  fuckin'  stops. "

" I  don’t  even  know  what  normal  feels  like  anymore,  man. "

" He  didn’t  even  scream.  Just…  lights  out,  done.  Like  that. "

" No  amount  of  patches  and  medals  will  bring  back  what  I  lost  over  there."

" What  the  fuck  was  it  all  for? "

" I  see  that  goddamned  convoy  goin'  up  in  flames  every  time  I  close  my  eyes. "

" The  meds  don’t  do  shit  except  make  me  feel  like  a  zombie. "

" We  laugh,  we  joke,  but  deep  down  we’re  all  just  broken  toys. "

" Every  time  I  hear  a  car  backfire,  I’m  diving  for  cover  like  a  goddamned  idiot. "

" They  gave  me  a  medal but not  a  reason  to  fucking  live."

" Do  you  remember  his  face?  His  fuckin'  face  when  he  realized  he  wasn’t  gonna  make  it? "

" I  can't  walk  into  a  crowded  room  without  sizin'  up  exits  like  I'm  still  in  enemy  territory. "

" We  all  came  home  in  pieces.  Some  of  us  just  hid  it  better  than  others. "

" Don’t  fuckin'  touch  me.  You  don't  know  what  hands  can  do  when  they’re  scared. "

" The  shit  they  don’t  tell  you  about  surviving  is  how  heavy  the  guilt  feels. "

" It’s  just  a  patch  of  dirt  to  everyone  else,  but  to  me,  it’s  where  I  buried  my  best  friend. "

" Stop  asking  me  to  talk  about  it.  Talking  doesn’t  fix  what’s  broken. "

" One  more  person  says,  'Thank  you  for  your  service,'  I'm gonna lose  it. "

" They  say  it  gets  easier,  but  all  I’ve  done  is  get  better  at  pretending. "

" I  don’t  miss  the  war,  but  I  miss  the  people  I  fought  it  with. "

" I  feel  like  I’m  on  patrol  even  in  the  grocery  store,  scanning  for  threats. "

" You  know  what  the  hardest  part  is?  Knowing  they  died  for  nothing. "

" They  say  ‘thank  you  for  your  service,’  and  I  just  want  to  scream. "

" Sometimes,  I  wish  I’d  stayed  in.  At  least  I  knew  who  I  was  then. "

" You  don't  get  to  tell  me  what  I  saw  out  there,  alright?  You  weren’t  the  one  dragging  what  was  left  of  him  back  to  base! "

" Another  goddamn  name  on  the  memorial  wall,  yeah,  that’s  what  this  mission  fuckin'  accomplished! "

" Don't  give  me  that  'chain  of  command'  bullshit.  You  knew  it  was  a  suicide  run,  and  you  sent  us  anyway! "

" Get  your  hands  off  me!  I  said  I’m  fine,  stop  treating  me  like  I’m  fuckin'  broken! "

" You  wanna  keep  yelling,  or  are  you  finally  gonna  admit  you  fucked  up  back  there? "

" We’re  soldiers,  not  fuckin'  machines.  How  the  hell  do  you  not  understand  that  after  all  these  years? "

" I  can  still  hear  their  screams.  Every  goddamn  night.  Do  you  think  I  sleep  like  this  because  I  want  to? "

" Stop  telling  me  to  'let  it  go!'  You  didn’t  watch  him  bleed  out  while  begging  for  his  mother! "

" I  lost  another  one  today,  and  all  you  can  say  is  ‘it  happens’?  Fuck  you! "

" What  do  you  want  me  to  say?  That  I  don’t  miss  them?  That  I  don’t  hate  myself  for  living? "

" You  keep  saying  ‘it’s  over,’  but  it’s  not  over  when  it’s  in  my  fuckin'  head  24/7! "

" It  wasn’t  heroism,  alright?  I  didn’t  want  to  die.  I  didn’t  want  to  live.  I  just  wanted  it  to  fuckin'  end. "

" You  think  I  signed  up  for  this  shit?  No  one  signs  up  for  nightmares  that  won’t  go  away! "

" I  froze  out  there.  I  just…  froze.  And  now  he’s  gone  because  I  couldn’t  move. "

" You  call  it  a  mission.  I  call  it  a  slaughter.  Tell  me  where  the  hell  the  difference  is. "

" Don’t  you  dare  say  it’s  ‘just  part  of  the  job.’  That  was  someone’s  fuckin'  life! "

" You  really  think  any  of  this  ‘therapy’  bullshit  will  bring  them  back?  'Cause  it  won't,  asshole! "

" You  don’t  come  back  from  war;  you  just  bring  it  home  with  you. "

"If  one  more  person  tells  me  to  ‘move  on,’  I  swear  to  God  I’m  gonna  lose  it. "

" Shut  the  fuck  up,  I  can't  handle  your  sunshine  shit  right  now. "

" You  ever  think  about  how  we’re  all  just  disposable? "

" My  hands  won’t  stop  shaking. "

" I  don’t  need  your  pity,  I  need  another  goddamn  drink. "

" It’s  not  PTSD.  It's  just  me.  I’m  fucked  up,  plain  and  simple. "

" Fuckin'  civvies  don’t  understand  a  goddamn  thing  we’ve  been  through. "

" They  want  me  to  talk  about  it,  but  how  do  you  put  hell  into  words? "

" I  hate  myself  for  making  it  back  alive. "

" Don’t  give  me  that  'brotherhood'  bullshit!  Where  was  that  when  you  let  them  ambush  us? "

" Put  the  gun  down,  man.  Please.  We’ve  lost  enough  already. "

" You’re  right;  I’m  angry.  I’m  angry  because  I’ve  had  to  bury  too  many  good  men  because  of  your  decisions. "

" Don't  act  like  you  care  now. "

" The  blood  never  washes  off,  does  it?  It  just  spreads  around  until  you’re  drowning  in  it. "

" You  call  me  weak,  but  at  least  I’m  not  afraid  to  feel  something! "

" I  told  you  not  to  bring  that  up,  so  why  the  hell  are  you  making  me  relive  it  now? "

" Stop  saying  it's  going  to  be  okay!  It's  not,  and  it  never  fuckin'  will  be. "

" I  don't  need  therapy,  I  need  a  fuckin'  drink. "

" You  see  a  fun  fireworks  display,  I  see  flares  'n  mortars  tearing  us  apart. "

" I  can't  even  look  at  my  kids  without  wondering  if  they'd  be  better  off  without  me. "

" I  used  to  takin'  long  drives  at  night,  but  now  I  can't  even  get  behind  the  wheel  without  feeling  like  we're  about  to  hit  an  IED. "

" Every  time  I  close  my  eyes,  I  see  him...my  best  friend,  blown  to  pieces. "

" Yeah,  I  take  the  pills  and  wash  'em  down  with  vodka,  what  of  it? "

" I  didn't  sign  up  for  this  life;  I  signed  up  for  a  job,  and  now  I  can't  get  out. "

" You  want  me  to  talk  about  it?  Alright,  fine.  Let's  talk  about  how  I  watched  my  buddies  burn  alive. "

" The  VA?  Yeah,  they've  got  a  line  for  everything.  Too  bad  it  never  leads  to  real  help. "

" Do  you  have  any  idea  what  it's  like  to  be  terrified  of  your  own  goddamn  mind? "

[savageshadows]

be'lakor, scars. edits 5/--.

[savageshadows]

crimsonthirst asked: ❝ i want to complain, but i don’t have the energy. ❞

the druid's frown deepened at the woman's non-complaining complaint. there was a bit of a whine at the edge of her words which pressed on the raw spots in her head. after being hammer bashed while wild shaped, be'lakor's skull throbbed with pressure and pain even now in her average form. a fiery glare from beneath a dark hood,

"i want to rip out your tongue." she responded icily, "i think i can find the energy if you keep blathering. instead, make yourself useful for camp tonight and actually start the fire." a hand gesture towards the pile of twigs and sticks,

"unless your super cool, super normal magical powers are all gone now. entirely convenient for that to happen again."

[savageshadows]

“Act ladylike” how about I kill you what then

[savageshadows]

i love this little guy. i just wish i could still get him without killing his mother. it feels.... weird?

be'lakor would probably befriended both of them and enjoyed them in camp as buddies.

[savageshadows]

what kind of physical touch do you need?

kisses

but not like on the mouth. like if you got kissed on the wrist or the hand or the forehead or the nose or the palm or the cheek or the top of the head or anywhere that isn't the mouth you'd fucking explode. this is unfortunate but you'd die happy.

[savageshadows]

Does anyone know when patch 8 drops for bg3? I keep seeing things and it makes me worry about my 85 mods I have running 😭