satanicush

[satanicush]

Neglected children will sometimes go ‘okay time to dangerously deteriorate to see if anyone cares about me’ and then if nobody does, they don’t know how to stop deteriorating on their own, they’ll need help to pick themselves back up.

 And if that help doesn’t arrive, they’ll conclude ‘I was right to destroy myself in a world where nobody cares for me anyway, why should I live at all’ and it sets them on a miserable life path where all they see is chances for self destruction and proof of nobody caring, and from the very start it’s not their fault at all.

Because someone should notice when a kid starts losing themselves and step up and help. Children are not meant to know how to take care of themselves in an environment where they’re neglected, ignored and uncared for. Putting them in such an environment then blaming them for deteriorating is absolutely ridiculous. It takes paying attention and realizing when something is wrong and pulling a kid out of the black hole they’re falling into, before they can no longer crawl their way out on their own. 

It’s not acceptable to let children deal with abandonment and neglect all on their own, and expect them to not grow up miserable, resentful, struggling, and doing harm to themselves. It’s the same harm we never stopped them from doing when they were kids, when they needed to know that someone would care if they’re hurt. If we want functional and healthy adults in the society, we have to notice what is going on with the kids and make sure they’re helped in time. 

[satanicush]

at this point, being a functional person is my sexual fantasy

[satanicush]

i cant tell if im actually just going insane or if a normal regular person would be upset in this situation too

[satanicush]

and when all the distractions dont work anymore and its the end of the day, i’m left with just myself and the want for it all to please just fucking stop.

[satanicush]

an insane girl showing you her boobs and spending time with you... it can heal you in many ways

[satanicush]

初音ミク | 幽妃ｰyukiｰ

[satanicush]

Ocean Vuong, from “Eurydice”, Night Sky with Exit Wounds

[satanicush]

fall

[satanicush]

goretober day 12 

throat cut 

[satanicush]

♡♡So silly♡♡

[satanicush]

vodka is easier to swallow

than the thought of you not coming back

[satanicush]

I just want to die. I don't know anymore. I don't want to live in this life, I don't like being me. I hate myself I hate my past I hate my everything.

[satanicush]

Ow, that hurt. its okay though, i forgive you.

Ow, that hurt. i still forgive you.

Ouch, i'm sorry, i forgive you.

I forgive you… I'll always forgive you.

[satanicush]

bpd culture is feeling a little bit unwanted and immediately shutting down and isolating from everyone even though you know all it does is make things even worse

[satanicush]

I feel so ugly and unwanted

Maybe if I was perfect I’d get treated better

[satanicush]

Things I'm good at :

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• ???????

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• ???????

• feeling like a burden and bed rotting

[satanicush]

I think it’s really unfair that I (a person who needs to feel loved all the time) am so incredibly hard to love.