sarcasticpeterparker

[sarcasticpeterparker]

[sarcasticpeterparker]

I'm not great tbh but I dont think anyone is doing great right now

That's alright. It doesn’t minimize your emotions. They’re still valid. Either way, we’ll get through this. 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

What is this? Has he returned??? I missed you!!

Hey, Anon!!!! I’m here!! I missed ya too. How are you?

[sarcasticpeterparker]

[sarcasticpeterparker]

I hear you might be in need of a lawyer after your trip to Europe and Quentin Beck’s crew giving that altered footage to Jonah Jameson. Not sure if you met Bruce Banner yet, but he knows someone who could help you.

I am in need of a lot of things after my trip to Europe. Thanks, though. 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

It like my uncle once said: “with great power, comes great big booty bitches.”

Language... 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

Hey Pete, if given the chance would you go to space again? Like a casual trip, nothing Avengers related.

I, uh.. I got enough of space for a lifetime. Although, the view was pretty epic. 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

Recently my kids took all the legos they could find and built a mini Death Star. I don't even care that it was random colors, I've never been prouder. Also this reminded me of you and Ned.

This is really sweet. We don’t give kids enough credit for their creativity. 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

So you hate me? 🥺

...Double-checking? 

Fine, far as I know. We’re not in real frequent contact these days, which I’d say is a good thing. Doesn’t need me double-checking what he does anymore, nice to see.

[sarcasticpeterparker]

...I wanna hear about the nerdy stuff...

Of course you do. 

Considering half of it is classified, and the other half of it is gibberish, I haven’t got much I’m actually allowed to say. Stark is watching this blog like a hawk. 

Let’s see... I recently snagged a super old vintage Jar-Jar binks action figure from a collectibles store downtown.. That’s pretty dorky. You wanna see it? 

I’m all ears to all the nerdy stuff you guys are up to, though! 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

Do you and MJ ever make any creative uses of the webs in the bedroom?

Yes! I’m glad someone asked! 

We use the web for tons of fun stuff! Watching movies, scrolling Tumblr, shopping... the Internet is a great place. 

You gotta be careful though, there’s always a few weirdos on there... 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

How's quarantine going? Are you staying home for school, or are you still able to protect the city as Spiderman?

I’m still Spiderman! Just keeping myself entertained with books and movies in my down time... what have you guys been up to? 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

Okay, I'm actually really angry that you haven't updated in two months, Peter. You seriously let me down. I'm telling Mr. Stark.

I’m sorry!!!!! I know I let you guys down. I’m a busy dude, and I'll try to be on more... only if you promise to keep asking questions.  

Mr. Stark knows. He's become such an internet hermit, NOTHING goes by him these days, especially not my online activity. 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

You and MJ gone on a date yet?

Too many to count. 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

How's Flash treating ya?

Haven’t seen him in awhile... but before all this, well. He’s been liking all my instagram posts religiously, though. I think that’s a good sign? 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

Who's the hardest enemy you fought?

Mr. Stark’s stern glance. 

[sarcasticpeterparker]

Yo Pete! I'm bored! How are you entertaining yourself while quarantined?

Yo, Rockangel! 

I get it. Been doing a shit ton of puzzles as well as animal crossing, for the most part. Obviously, nerdy stuff too, but you guys don’t wanna hear about all that junk. 

STAY HOME!