sarcasmistic
My Favorite Sport Is Sarcastaball
603 posts
I'm trying something new
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
sarcasmistic · 5 months ago
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You can watch this video if you want to know how to do that↓
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sarcasmistic · 7 months ago
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It's been a while since I painted ghost king Danny. I went with the aurora borealis crown this time. Also more animation experimentation with 2d and 3d stuff.
I struggled with the background a bit. Below is an alternative version, I can't decide what looks better.
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sarcasmistic · 10 months ago
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Green Arrow had a new child scientist villain. Who needs glasses?
Danny was already with the many Blob Ghosts working for him (think of them as Minions of Despicable Me). This new place is a super funny vacation place! He should think ghostwriter about it. True, his eyes were hurt by the portal, but that would be gone in a few years. But who cares about it? With just his genius and no powers as a human, he can show he is a genius! That was how Danny, without knowing it, became a wonderful child who was just having chaotic fun in the new world. It's like a game for him; it's not like he would have problems.
Batman has the Joker.
Superman has Lex Luthor.
Wonder Woman has the cheetah.
But Green Arrow! Green Arrow has a child scientist! with a tragic childhood who does musicals to explain his evil plans.
Just for the poor comedy and Oliver trying to hide it from the other heroes out of embarrassment. Of being defeated by a child and not being able to capture him. ++ Danny looked at Oliver Queen without his green Arrow mask. "An ordinary civilian with a goat?" Oliver saw as he put on his hood. Danny:"An ordinary civilian dressed up as a Green Arrow?" Oliver puts on the mask. Danny: "Ah! Green ARROW! " Green Arrow gave a tired sigh. Black Canary:" When we finally are able to capture him, The first thing we will do is send him to an ophthalmologist." Danny:" Since you are here, I wil tell you about my trash-inator!" Oliver:" So It creates trash." Danny:" NO! Man, are you evil? It collects all the trash in the whole city and teleports it away." Black Canary:" That is a pretty good indicator. You could do much goo..." Danny:" Yes, then into the Bat Cave all the trash of the Star city will go. I was paid by Red Hood to do that." Oliver:" NOO!!"
++ So because Oliver covered it up until now, Danny has now become a world-wide problem. Oliver really didn't want to say he lost a child or explain it. Danny with his Shrink Ray:" Tonight we steal the Legion of Doom HQ/The Hall of Justice!" All the Blob Ghost:" YAYY!"
And yes, Danny stole the Legion of Doom HQ/The Hall of Justice as both Heroes and Villian fought each other in a great battle.
That was the moment Oliver had to explain the problem that he had covered up.
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sarcasmistic · 10 months ago
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Dan is Trigon
So! The Teen Titans had been chasing down a Cult lately, and they had finally managed to track down their main bases location.
Unfortunately, they got there just a bit too late and the Summoning Ritual they had been preforming was finished. The Being they had been calling crawled up and out of the Circle drawn in Blood on the floor.
And Raven felt her heart Stop. Because that Being crawling it's way out of the Summoning Circle looked almost exactly like her Father's True Form. But also different.
Where her Father's hair was a White Flame, this one's hair looked like Freshly Fallen Snow. Instead of her Father's Blood Red Skin, this being had Icy Blue Skin. And most strikingly, In place of her Father's Piercing Red Eyes, this being had Lazarus Green Eyes.
But even with all those changes, she could still the similarities in the Bone Structure, the shape of the Jaw, and most importantly the Untold Power radiating off of them.
Before they could react, the Being turned its attention to the Cultists.
"Who Dares Summon, the Ghost King?"
"We do, Out Lord Pariah Dark! We Beseech Thee, take this unclean world and tear it down! Cleanse the World of its Filth!"
"Oh Goddammit, not again." Said the Being, "Look, Pariah hasn't been in Power for Centuries. I, am Phantom. And I don't do the whole 'Destroy all Worlds' thing, you want your own constellation? I'm your guy. Otherwise? Bite it."
"Bu-But my Lord! We summoned you to-"
"Yeah how about no." Said the unimpressed God, "Here, let me send you guys Home. I'll give you guys some riches or something as compensation, but that's it."
And with that, the God snapped its fingers and the cultists disappeared.
"Now, who are you kids?" He turned to them.
Robin stepped forward, "We are the Teen Titans, and originally we came to stop them from Summoning you. Now, I honestly don't know what to do..."
"Oh, you guys are Heroes! That's interesting, I don't come across worlds with Heroes very often." Said the Ghost King, "The last one was the one with those Revengers or whatever they called themselves. The Spider Totem was fun to talk to, and Thor is always..."
As Phantom mumbled to himself, Raven stepped up. "King Phantom, I have a Question. Why do you resemble the true form or Trigon so closely? As his Daughter, I can recognize your similarities easily, and I was curious."
The King stopped dead.
"...daughter?"
"Oh, yes. Trigon is my father, though obviously I haven't talked to him recently." She explained.
"...that asshole." He said, "How could he not tell me I had a NIECE!?"
Wait what?
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sarcasmistic · 10 months ago
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His son's children
When Alfred looked into the security video of the front gates, he froze for a moment. Taking in the image of the two children there. One was a tall, red haired girl with a teal headband, confident but with a look of wary in her eyes. Behind the girl was a younger boy, black haired and wearing a NASA shirt, appearing to be reluctant like what they were doing was a bad idea. Alfred's stomach dropped just a little when he saw the boy and his familiar features.
A second later worry flitted accross his face, but still, because of protocol, he asked them for their reason for this surprise visit. No one expected any visitors this late, and Alfred knew if he looked over his shoulder, he would find one of the children snooping, trying to find out who their visitor could be.
Yet when he heard the girls request to see him, not Bruce Wayne, but him, Alfred Pennyworth, his stomach dropped even more. Knowing now for sure that he hadn't seen wrong with the boy's features. He buzzed them in, while his mind remembered old cherished memories of two you black haired toddlers playing together, growing up together until that one day. When he chose to stay and his significant other chose to leave. Sometimes, he wondered if Bruce still remembered the one that could have been a brother to him if things had gone different.
He doesn't regret his decision, but when he looked at the two worn-out children, no his own grandchildren, before him he mourned the fact that he had let his own son become astranged from him and Bruce. Having believed it to be the best with what Bruce had started to get up to.
But maybe it wasn't to late to make amends he thought as the young girl, clearly of the same vibes as Richard, like someone who had grown up to fast and taking on responsibilities that shouldn't be theirs, tried to explain that they won't call him grandpa if it made him uncomfortable and that they would only need a place to stay for a couple of days before they could move on.
Alfred's heart broke for them as he listened to the girls, Jasmine's hurried explanation.
During her explanation, he studied them more closely. Marveling at how much the boy, Daniel, looked like him when he had been younger. But also noticing the clear signs of injury he was trying to hide. He suppressed a huff, years of taking care of his reckless charges and other grandchildren, and their wounds had made him an expert in spotting these things. But it also gave him a sickening feeling. The injuries Daniel tried to hide did not appear like your average kind of injuries.
They were going to stay, Alfred would make sure of it and he would also let Bruce know of his findings. There was clearly more to his grandchildren sudden appearance than Jasmin was willing to explain.
Whatever endangered his grandchildren from his own estranged son. He would ensure that nothing would hurt them ever again.
His granddaughter did not need to list reasons to convince him to let them stay for a couple of days. And his grandson did not need to look this cautious and wary of him like someone was going to attack him any second.
Alfred was going to give them a home if his son couldn't. And if Bruce had a problem with it, he could take it up with his children. Clearly, if he looked over his shoulder at the noisy little ones, all of his other grandchildren could see that these two before him needed a home to stay.
Besides from the looks of it, they would fit right in with this family.
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sarcasmistic · 10 months ago
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There’s a child wandering the streets of Crime Alley. Unfortunately, this is nothing new for the area, riddled with crime and homelessness as it is. However, Red Hood and Nightwing are vigilantes and helping lost looking children is firmly in their job description. Plus, Crime Alley is Red Hood’s. He protects what’s his. With a single shared look, the brothers swung down to the child clad in just a white dress and some thin flats completely unsuitable for Gotham’s worsening weather. Hell it’s be unsuitable for the general poor weather.
“Hey, kiddo.”
The girl’s head swung to lock gazes with the duo, eyes blinking blue- and green? Red Hood allowed his brother- he worked so hard to beat down the pit madness in order for Nightwing to even remain near- to take the lead.
“Oh. There you are.” She said, turning to face them fully. The kid’s face filled with relief.
Nightwing blinked.
“You were looking for us?” His soft voice saved for children firmed into something more serious, more concerned.
“Mmhm. I was looking for Red Hood, but you’re a good bonus.”
“And why were you looking for me, kid?” Red Hood interjects. He knows Dickolas is clocking the same things he is: the kid’s white whispy hair, pale face, and… Lazarus green eyes? It’s more solid now, that she’s looking at Jason.
Dick straightened, eyes going heavy as he looks at this wisp of a girl. He’s fiercely protective of Jason and they’re both equally wary of the League of Assassins. Still, the two of them couldn’t help but let their guard down a bit because this was still a child they’re talking to.
“Because… um. Did you know you’ve died?”
Hood stiffened, hand going towards his guns. Granted, they’re rubber bullets, but the kid clocks that immediately. She threw her hands up in the universal gesture of “I’m unarmed and mean no harm.”
“I- well, to put it frankly, you kind of… stink?”
“What.”
“Ugh, I’m totally messing this up!”
“Why don’t you start again?” Dick said, shifting into a subtler fighting stance. He kept his voice light, but Jason saw the way his hands inched towards the scrims sticks. Distantly, Jason thought it was hilarious that this tiny kid could evoke that kind of response. Looking into Lazarus green eyes though, he couldn’t find the humor anywhere. The worst thing, though, is that the pit quieted. The rage the bubbled incessantly underneath his skin calmed. Jason did not like feeling bereft of the rage, not when he didn’t know why it was gone. He had just gained control of it, minimally, and to have that control be unnecessary left the vigilantes off kilter.
“Right, okay, sorry. Um, did you, uh, die and wake up surrounded by glowing green stuff?”
Before Jason could reply ‘yes, and why the hell do you know that?’, the kid continued with, “Because me too!”
She did jazz hands as Jason’s and Dick’s brains short circuited. Jason thought he even heard a little “yay!”
“What.” Jason sputtered out. His stomach and heart clenched as he thought about how young the kid looked. Fuck.
“Yeah. So, anyways-”
“Don’t speed past that like you didn’t say what you just said!” Dick interrupted, hand tugging at his hair in distress. His body language slipped from battle ready to extremely distressed. “You died?”
“You were- you were dipped in the Lazarus pits?!” Jason felt the need to address that specific point.
“I mean, it’s not that important? The important thing is- wait, what’s a Lazarus pit?”
Jason froze again. She didn’t know what they were?
“It’s… the glowing green stuff.” Dick answered her.
“Oh. Is that what you were dipped in?” She tilted her head at Jason. He nodded, wariness climbing. “Oh. Well, I mean, that’s not we call it. But the stuff you were dipped in, it’s rank. Contaminated.”
Jason thinks back to the burning, drowning green. The agony he felt as it slipped into his mouth and nose and his very being.
“It was bubbling.” He said. The girl grimaced. Jason had no idea why he was being so honest with this kid.
“Gross. Anyways, I can, like, help you with that?”
“With what?” Dick asked, eyes darting from the girl to Jason.
The girl groaned. “Okay, so I guess you guys are kind of new. Uh, the contaminated green stuff,” she points at Jason’s chest. “That’s making you angry, right? Leaving you in the backseat of your head as your body breaks whatever got you angry to begin with and you have no control over it?”
“…The pit madness.” Jason mumbled, feeling numb. “Yeah.”
“…Right. I can help you clear that out,” she pauses, fidgeting. “If… If you help me talk to Batman? It’s kind of… urgent.”
“Batman?”
“Why?”
“Uh. There’s kind of… a whole mad scientist thing going on and like… experimentation and dissections… you know?” The kid waved her arms around, distressed.
Dick and Jason unfortunately did know.
“Cave?” Jason grumbled.
“Cave.”
“Okay, we’ll bring you to the cave. Then you tell us everything.”
“Really?”
She looked up at them hopefully, and Jason could see the moment Dickolas melted. Not that Jason could say anything, since he was already taking off his jacket and bundling the kid in it.
“Um.”
“Who the hell let you walk around Gotham like that?” He scowled down at her, not that she could see it with the red helmet in the way. Dick looked at him carefully, eyes roving over the oddly relaxed state his little wing was in.
The kid shrugged. Jason sighs.
“What’s your name?” Dick asked. Scooping her up, the blue and black clad raised his free arm to grapple away. Jason follows him, heading towards the motorcycles they’ve got parked nearby.
“Dani. With an I.”
“Nice to meet you, Dani. I’m Nightwing. This is my… this is Red Hood.”
“Okay. Cool.”
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sarcasmistic · 10 months ago
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Lucifer DP crossover where Lucifer just unofficiallh adopts Danny after finding out about the Fentons unsafe work environment
Lucifer will proceed to unofficially adopt Jazz later after she storms Lux looking for Danny. She ends up being sidetracked by Maze, trying to pick apart Maze's brain and Maze is very amused (she's totally not letting this random kid ask her a million questions because it reminds her of Trixie and she actually enjoys talking to kids with sharp eyes)
Lucifer finds her 20 minutes into it and is like "why is there another sassy child in my club?? I don't remember there being two??"
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sarcasmistic · 11 months ago
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Saw this drawing by @enmitypark and fell in love with the jacket. So I decided to draw Danny with a letterman jacket
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sarcasmistic · 1 year ago
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sarcasmistic · 1 year ago
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Danny moves to Gotham and the batfam picks up on the weird guy who sometimes glows green. So they all try to interrogate him but instead of taking it seriously he just treats it like a casual conversation and responds to the invasive questions with the oddest shit possible.
Batman *standing in the dark corner like a demented Halloween decoration*: are you a meta?
Danny: nope
Batman: so I'm supposed to believe the green energy beams are normal human abilities?
Danny *half his body in the fridge fighting something*: yeah my hometown wasn't super strict on zoning laws
Dick *opening up Danny's Starbucks tumbler*: so,,, green ooze‽
Danny: it's better warm, let it thaw a little.
Jason: what do you know about the Lazarus Pits?
Danny *with a gun to his head*: sorry man, armpits don't really do it for me.
Jason *trying not to laugh and ruin the creep factor*: no, in Nanda Parbattm
Danny: where's that, Arizona?
Stephanie: so you're not gonna like, drag Gotham into hell are you?
Danny: been there done that 0/10 would not reccomend
Stephanie: good enough for me.
Damian *with a katana trying to look scary*: what is your association with the league of assassins?
Danny *on three hours of sleep*: ass, ass, ins.
Damian: what?
Danny: that's how you spell it.
Tim: so, friends with any questionably immortal creepy old men?
Danny: friends is a strong word, but yeah.
Tim: tell me about it.
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sarcasmistic · 1 year ago
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Dr. Fenton, Lex Luthor's Evil Assistant
Danny was looking for work on the East Coast, and because he's not fucking crazy, he centered his search on Not Gotham. Excluding that, most of the good job opportunities were in Metropolis under the nose of Superman. Danny wasn't mad that he had to be in Superman's city, in fact he was quite happy he didn't have to take charge when his residence was threatened, he just didn't like the fact that he was living under the perview of a government super.
So when he heard back from his application as a personal assistant at Lexcorp, the company headed by the one man Superman hated more than evil, he took it with glee.
~~
When Lex Luthor saw the name Fenton cross his desk he had to stop and do a double take.
The Fenton patents were revolutionary, the technology they represented was game changing, but the rights to it was held in a deathgrip by their son, who, after their deaths, had refused any offers and redacted most information on the subject. To have Dr. Fenton in his building under his employ would be the perfect opportunity to get his hands on the patents that could change the world as they knew it.
~~
Superman landing dramatically on Luthor's balcony: Lex, this is-
Danny, rolling by in an swivel chair: do you have an appointment?
Superman: this isn't a business meeting, I'm here to-
Danny: sorry Mr. Luthor doesn't take walk-ins.
~~
Luthor: Dr. Fenton, have you given any thought to selling the rights to your parents' patents? That kind of technology could change the world.
Danny: I know. I don't think you know.
Luthor, eyes dilating like a cat seeing a bird: How are you so certain?
Danny: NDA's.
~~
Red Robin sneaking into the LexCorp building at midnight: ...
Danny, raking in that sweet overtime:...
Danny: Do you have a warrant?
Red Robin: ... Yes?
Danny, shrugging and walking away: okay.
~~
Luthor, in a video call with The Light: That door was Locked
Danny, with a printed schedule: and this hour was reserved for a different meeting.
Creepy Blank White Screen: has there been an interruption?
Danny: yes, this meeting has gone past it's allowed time.
Creepy Blank White Screen: Mere schedules are of no consequ-
Danny, exiting the Zoom call: blah blah blah
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sarcasmistic · 1 year ago
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Over Tea
A sudden chill sweeps through Gotham, almost like Mr. Freeze had just attacked only thing was the man was currently locked away in Arkham, and was felt by all. And talked by all via word of mouth and on social media as well.
The clouds and smog that covered their dark city shifted and swirled, a rumble beginning deep inside them as the weather turned from smoggy to rain and thunder with no real warning. The strangest thing was the green glow that could be seen when thunder rumbled inside the gray clouds.
Then like a candle being blown out, the rumbling stopped, the rain ended, and the clouds parted all over Gotham.
For the first time in a while Gotham had a clear sky and it felt... it felt like something heavy had been lifted off the city.
It was this sudden shift and the all felt chill that had set off alerts for Batman and his family. Since early morning since the first change and shift happened he was in front of the Batcomputer trying to narrow down where it started.
After hours of searching with the help of Red Robin, Oracle and strangely enough Red Hood, they managed to narrow down where the odd power had been coming from.
Was still coming from, only very low.
The old and abandoned observatory tower.
-x-x-
"More ecto-tea Lady Gotham?" Danny asked, his hand waving towards the steaming pot nearby.
The woman smiled lightly, her dark painted lips curling up to show her sharp fangs for a moment before saying "No but thank you Young Kingling though I would like more cookies if you don't mind. Now where were we?"
Danny nodded towards her and signaled towards a maid skeleton ghost who walked forward with a tray of cookies. The maid swiftly placed a few more cookies on the spirit embodiment of Gotham plate before bowing and stepping away.
"We were just about to discuss the sentience of the Court of Owls." Danny said as he lightly tapped the large almost mountain of paperwork on the table they were sitting at, floating high above the floor as shooting stars and planets drifted around them. Many ghosts floated around as well, servants that had sworn their loyalty to the Young King, and were preparing things like snacks and drinks for two powerful beings in the room as they discussed business. Nearby doors and windows though were ghostly knights that stood tall and alert, making sure no interlopers interrupted the meeting taking place and ready to defend not only Lady Gotham but their King.
"Ah yes them." Lady Gotham grimaced as she took a drink of her ecto-tea. "That will take some time for us to discuss, they've been running around unchecked for to long and even with my limited abilities to hinder them has been less than ideal."
"You, Lady G, were deeply cursed for many, many years and I just broke most of it." Danny cut in quickly, he was not about to let this wonderful and powerful city spirit blame herself for something out of her hands "Due to said curse you couldn't do much so please don't go blaming yourself. Its mostly broken now, so you can freely start healing yourself and your city self now that jerk demon that cursed you is in Walker's prison for his crimes."
Lady Gotham grew silent for a moment, her dark eyes staring deeply at the young King but then warmly smiled, well as warm as she could seeing how she was Gotham itself. "You reminded me of my Knight, Young King, treating me like this. Not afraid to point out the truth and facts."
Danny gave a light laugh as he took a hold of one of the cookies on his plate and gave a bite "I'll take that as a compliment Lady Gotham. Now about those Court of Owls...."
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sarcasmistic · 1 year ago
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Jazz says fuck the Joker
“To conclude, your honour, the defendant shows clear understanding of their crimes and the consequences of them as well as, no remorse coupled with a severe lack of empathy. Overall, I would conclude that the complex nature of the crimes committed along with behaviors displays suggest that the defendant is not psychotic and thus, capable of standing trial and facing the verdict.”
The red head delivered her analysis with devastating confidence, the glint in her eyes unwavering - a woman who knows she’s right and by god, you will know it too.
When was the last time anyone actually attempted to legally charge the Joker with his crimes? Honestly, most had forgotten it was even a possibility. The grandiose schemes and fights with the bats had elevated him beyond a mere criminal, more than a man and yet, that’s all he was - a man. A man who had been forcibly dragged back to reality by a determined Jasmine Fenton - budding psychologist and one of the newest idols for young Gothamites (the other being her brother who had been videod absolutely bodying the Joker on the street just a week prior - Joker was still nursing his wounds)
The deliberation of the court was unsurprisingly short - Miss Fenton had been clear with the facts and people were more than happy to utilize and opportunity to FINALLY punish the Joker. Joker’s lawyers couldn’t do much to stop the inevitable after all that the clown had done.
“The defendant is hereby found… guilty of all accused crimes & as such, sentenced to execution by the state.”
Gotham was free.
———
Based off of the idea that the Joker is only escaping proper legal punishment by being declared not guilty by reason of insanity. Jazz would not stand for that.
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sarcasmistic · 1 year ago
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Danny has gotten a high paying job! And he gets to work with a celebrity!
Danny gets a job as the Wayne's PA, and while working with Bruce, he notices something.
The dude's a ditz, for sure, but also.
Also...
He isn't.
Danny realizes it's an act, and that actual ditzyness from the professionals around him drive his new boss up a wall.
But Bruce can't actually point it out, or he reveals that he isn't as ditzy as they say.
Danny decides to have fun; with his powers, he can play an even bigger himbo than Bruce Wayne. (Intangibility will be sure to outplay the Prince of Gotham's clumsiness).
Every time he does his job well, he makes sure to do it in an oblivious fashion that seems like it's going to fail, but then works beautifully.
It's a lot of work, but...the subtle eye twitch of internalized rage? The forced exhale of a quiet, agonized scream of frustration? The sometimes subconscious clenching of the man's fist?
Fucking worth it.
Basically, Danny realizes he can antagonize the richest man in America and still not get fired; the fic.
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sarcasmistic · 1 year ago
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Happy Halloween!!! 👻🎃
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sarcasmistic · 1 year ago
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Headcanon. When flying, Danny can leave behind his own kind of ecto trail which looks like a lot like the northern lights!!!! Space boy!!!
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What do u think? I’d love to know💖
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sarcasmistic · 1 year ago
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"Introductions? Fine. Name's Phantom and think twice before picking somebody my size. You'll regret it."
Concept art of Phantom's human host.
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