Hello~ I'm Sapphy (use any pronouns!), I'm 21, and this is a sideblog I made to post my writing. It's been a long time since I've written anything so it will mostly be shorter pieces to help me get back into it. If you decide to read anything, I hope you enjoy it! ~If you want me to tag something for you let me know! ~Feel free to send me writing prompts, on or off anon! ~*~Please don't repost anything from here without asking me first! Even if you credit me!~*~ Find my main @pastelsapphy
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Daily Word Count: 1,877! And yesterdayâs count was at 2,491!
NaNoWriMoâs off to a pretty good start! Now just hoping I can keep it up.
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Itâs okay for your first draft to suck. Your first draft is supposed to suck. Let it suck. Your first draft is for getting the story, beginning to end, down on paper. Polishing and cleaning is for after. So write your first draft, and let it suck.
#reminders#i'm gonna need this for nano lol#so i'll probably reblog it a lot#nanowrimo#national novel writing month
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Hey I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year and I'm freaking out a little because it's only six days away!!!!!!!! but it's also /only six days away/
#I already have most of my novel planned out#I'm hype#but also nervous bc like#i haven't written anything substantial in years#we'll see what happens i guess#nanowrimo#national novel writing month
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The Woods
You walk through the woods, watching dusk set in. The red and gold of autumn leeching away, slowly gaining a silver tint. The sun has dipped so low that you canât see it beyond the trees, but the light remains.
      The lightâit tricks you. Dusk does not offer the bright light of the daytime, nor does it offer nighttimeâs protective darkness. Dusk slides the dimmer switch of the world just low enough to fool you. Ahead of you, you see a shape in the woods. Something moving. Something alive. Your heart leaps into your throat, and you feel your fight or flight instinct kicking inâbut you blink, and the shape is gone. Only the trees stand there. Nothing that will hurt you. A trick of the light, you tell yourself, and keep walking.
      The darker the woods become, the more you begin to hear. The fallen leaves crunching under your feet sometimes sound farther away than they should. You turn, fast, hoping to catch whatever it is. A shape stands by the trees and you feel your pulse race and tears of fear prick at the corners of your eyes. You are being followed. But you blink, and the shape is gone. The trees continue to watch you. Only miles of trees, disappearing into the darkness.
      You keep walking.
      The darkness does nothing to soothe you. Your pulse beats quickly, and you feel sweat cooling on the back of your neck. Your breath quickens, itâs too loudâwas that you? That has to be you breathing, because thereâs nothing following you. Thereâs nothing else in the woods. Itâs just you. You and your breathing and your footsteps.
      The eyes, boring holes in your back, are not yours.
      Two dots, right by your shoulder blades, burning through your jacket, into your very soul. Following, unmoving, no matter how many twists and turns you make. You tell yourself to stop turning around: the more you do it the more anxious you become. Thereâs nothing there. But you turn anyway, and you still see nothing except a trick of the light. The dusk, looking to trick you. But the eyes are still there. Drilling through layers of clothing and straight through you. Youâre being watched you know youâre being watched. The feeling is suffocating God itâs closing in on you, wrapping tighter and tighter around you, seizing your chest and making it hard to breatheâyou can feel it coming closer and closer. You quicken your pace, and the feeling becomes stronger. The footstepsâyour footsteps?âare getting louder. Breathing faster, louder, walking faster breathing faster heart pumping blood faster and faster and faster and faster and the wind is in your ears and you havenât run like this in ages. The world around you has set into only silver and black and the roar of the wind andâ
      You break from the cover of the woods, nearly tumbling to the ground in your rush. A wide expanse of dying brown grass lies ahead of you, soon turning into asphalt and buildings. The woods are now a safe distance behind youâor so you hope. You turn, just enough to check the dark expanse of trees. Some twisted part of you is hoping you see something. The eyes you felt boring into you. The shapes you thought you saw. The weight behind the footsteps that werenât yours. Something to confirm your suspicions, prove that it wasnât all in your headâbut all you see is miles and miles of trees, backlit by the last purple streaks of sunset. You take a moment to compose yourself, and continue your walk home. The wind whispers in your ears, carrying noises from behind you. And you pretend you hear nothing.
#short stories#short fiction#I had to write a thing for class and this is the full version of it#we had to create a specific mood 3 guesses what it is
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AN:Â Hey guys! First piece Iâm posting. Saw a prompt about Harley shooting the Joker in Suicide Squad instead of running off with him, and this came out out it. Basically itâs her shooting him and dealing with her life afterwards.
Word Count: 4,010
(TW for abuse, mentions of abuse, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, and death).
(Note Iâve seen SS like, twice, and only bc someone else was watching it. Most of my knowledge of these characters is going off comics and wiki info. Enjoy!)
  âKill him! Now!â
Itâs not the first time sheâs held a gun in her hand, not by a long shot. Not the first man sheâs thought to kill. Not even the first one she doesnât really want to kill. But this is different. This is wrong.
Everything went according to plan. Except for this. It wasnât supposed to happen like this. He deactivated all the kill switches, everything was down. There were no limits. NOW, was the green bubble on her phone. Her signal, her cue. The curtain rose.
It was their time.
Deadshot saw her, hiding behind the rubble together, out of the line of fire. He saw her smile, the look in her eye. She was far too happy to notice he was sad, the slight shake of his head.
She jumped up without a second thought.
âPuddinâ! Puddinâ!â she saw him in the door of the rescue helicopter, a machine gun in his hands. Heâd gone on a killing spree for her. He rained fear and terror down on Gotham just so someone would send her back to him to make him stop. Her Puddinâ.
âAh, my prize has been returned.â She could hear him from where she was, even over the noise of the helicopter. She broke into a run, making a clean leap from the edge of the building into his arms. Her Puddinâ was back, they were together again.
âI knew youâd come for me,â sheâd told him.
âMy most valuable prize,â heâd said, not even seeming to be speaking to her. He held her like some kind of glass object, like some eight-generation old crystal vase. Precious. Valuable. For a moment, she wished he held her like this more often.
They should have taken off then, away in the helicopter. Away from Suicide Squad. Away from Amanda Waller. Away from the prison sheâd been locked in for so long. Back home to Mistah J. But of course it wouldnât be that simple. Nothing ever was.
Deadshot was standing on the roof of the building, in the spot where sheâd started running. She felt a pang of sadness. Between Puddinâ keeping her to himself, and being locked away for so long, she hadnât had a real friend in ages. She and Deadshot clicked. It wasnât like what she and Puddinâ had, but it wasnât bad either. She was gonna miss him.
It was her hesitation that killed all their plans.
Mistah J saw her, she didnât have to see him to know. She wasnât a thousand-year-old crystalline vase anymore, he wasnât afraid of breaking her. His hand tightened into a fist around her arm, and she bit he tongue to keep from crying out. The mood in the helicopter jolted from happiness to anger and fear in that split second. She saw Mistah J glare out at Deadshot, and raise his gun.
âWait, donâtââ She shouldnât have tried to stop him, she knew this, but she didnât think. She just saw a gun pointed at her friend and reacted. Heâd done this before, killed people he thought werenât good for her, but Deadshot was her only friend since prison, helping her out while she was trying to get back to Puddinâ.
Time seemed to stop, in that instant. Deadshot on the roof of the building, in some midway point between Amanda Wallerâs forces and Mistah Jâs henchmen. Mistah J, with his gun aimed right at him and his hand around her arm like a vice. Harley herself, frozen, no idea if he was going to lower the gun and leave or fill him with bullets first. Or even turn it on her.
Slowly, he lowered the gun. She thought that would be thatâshe hoped that would be thatâheâd leave Deadshot alive, and theyâd go home. Theyâd go home and things would be like the used to. Before prison, before the police were on their tail and setting him off and making him angry. Back when she would listen to him go on about his shitty dad and how awful his life was until she came into it. About what a treasure she was to him. Before he was too busy with his work to pay attention to her. Back to when they were happy.
He spoke slowly, threateningly. Harley Quinn wasnât afraid of anything, but goddamn if Mistah J didnât have some kind of effect on people. âDo you care about him? Does that man mean anything to you?â
She couldnât lie to him. If she told him Deadshot was nothing, heâd fill him with lead. But she was afraid of what yes would cause, what heâd do to both of them. âHeâs a friend,â she told him. âHe helped me get back to ya.â Let him live please let him live.
It almost seemed to work. Almost. He lowered his gun, he took a step closer to her, she felt the blood flow return to her hand. But then his face changedâpure rage. Harley thought her heart stopped for a moment.
He yelled and shoved her hard, and she dropped down to the roof of the building, all the air leaving her body on impact. He jumped down behind her, shoving a hand in her hair and yanking her to her feet while she was still trying to get a lungful of air. Mistah J threw her forward again, and she stumbled into Deadshot. He held her up until she caught her breath, and when she turned back to her Puddinâ she was met with the barrel of his gun.
   âKill him, now.â
   She couldnât speak for a moment. âIâwha? Puddinâââ
   âKill him now, Harley. You are mine and mine alone and if you know that you will shoot him dead right now.â
   âI know I know, Puddinâ pleaseââ she tried to take a step towards him, but he didnât waver. The barrel stayed where it was, against her forehead, a twitch of a finger from ending her permanently.
   âKill him, now.â
   âPuddinâ I love you please he didnât do anything he doesnât need tâ dieââ
   âHarley if you really do love me you will shoot him dead right now.â
   She couldnât move. She couldnât do it. She couldnât stand Puddinâ being upset, she didnât want to think of what heâd do if she refused, but she couldnât shoot Deadshot either. She couldnât do it. âPuddinâ please, he helped me get back tâ ya. He kept me from going off and dyinâ before you could come ân get me. Ya donât have to kill him pleaseââ On some level, she knew bargaining was futile. Mistah J never changed his mind on something like this. But shoot Deadshot? Her friend? He couldnât make her do that, she couldnât do it.
   âEither kill him now or I will do it myself, then I will put a bullet in your brain too and throw you off the top of this building,â he shouted, pressing the barrel of the gun further forward, forcing her back a step.
   Threats. It was always threats with him. But only because he cared, right? She wouldnât make the choice so he was trying to make it for her. Push her to make the right choice. She took a breath, turned, and pulled out her gun. The cold metal familiar in her hand, as familiar as Mistah Jâs hand on her arm was. She felt the barrel of his gun at the back of her head, but couldnât seem to make herself raise her own.
   âHarley,â Deadshot got her attention. âListen, Iâm not too keen on going back to prison when this is over. But what else are a bunch of cops gonna do with a hitman, you know? Itâs okay but just...â he pauses and swallows, mustering up some part of himself to say whatever it is he has to say. âJust take care of her for me, okay? Get out of here and take care of her.â
   Take care of her for me. He talked about her so often, Harley felt like she knew her. Deadshotâs daughter, who was living with her not-so-great mother, since her dad was in jail. When this was over, he wanted to walk free and raise her himself. He wanted to get her free rides to the best schoolsâ in the country, so she could have the best education and achieve anything she wanted to. He wanted to take care of her like he had before heâd been locked away. And now that he couldnât, he trusted Harley with her.
   âOkay?â He asked again. Her first friend in years. Her partner in crime while Puddinâ was gone. The friend who, in the end, just wanted the same thing she didâa happily ever after, with a family and kids.
   âKill him! Now!â Mistah J roared behind her.
   And now here she is. Stuck with a man she canât kill and a man she canât betray. She felt her curtain fall, their time was over. This isnât how this is supposed to go. This isnât how itâs supposed to end.
   âHarley, promise me.â Deadshot meets her gaze. There is no fear in his eyes, just a sad acceptance.
   âHarley!â
   She raises her gun, shakily, until itâs aimed right between Deadshotâs eyes. A shot heâd be proud of. Pull the trigger Harley. Before Mistah J does.
   âNow!â
   And she makes her decision.
   She is fast, she always had been. Sheâd gotten faster living with Mistah J, dodging blows at any split second out of nowhere. Sometimes avoiding possibly lethal hits by inches. She moves, and she fires.
And a bullet hole appears in the center of The Jokerâs forehead.
   Time seems to slow. Puddinâs face frozen in shock, as his body shoots back and falls to the ground. Deadshot, in shock behind her. All of Suicide Squad and Amanda Wallerâs forces, who just a second ago had been planning to snipe Harley and replace her and Deadshot, frozen. Harley herself, barely comprehending what she just did. The gun falling from her hand, landing on The Jokerâs body below her. His limp body hit the roof, and time sped up again.
   âNo!â She cries out, and drops down beside him. âno, no, no, no, no, no, no.â She shot him. She shot him. The Joker, her Puddinâ, the man who had destroyed an entire city to get her back. Who wanted her so entirely that he killed anyone who wanted even a piece of her. He made her chose and she canât believe she chose wrong.
   She starts sobbing, oh god she hasnât cried in so long. Of course sheâd cry over Puddinâ. Why did I do that how could I have done this. He came for me and I killed him I killed him itâs all my fault.
   Her impulse killed him and she decides itâll kill her too. Her gun is still loaded. She grabs it and turns it on herself, fully ready to join Puddinâ wherever they went afterwards. Would you die for me? He asked her once, a long time ago. And he pushed her into a vat of acid to make her prove it. She was ready to drown in the vat then and she is ready to follow him now. But as she raises the gun, someone grabs it and wrestles it away from her.
   âNo, no give it back! Let me go to Puddinâ! Give it back!â Sheâs shrieking, her voice cracking, barely escaping through sobs. But Deadshot has the gun now, and he clicks the safety on and crouches down to face her.
   âHe gave you a choice and you made one, Harley,â he says softly.
   âIââ she swallows a sob. âI shot my Puddin, I shot my Puddinâ I made the wrong choice I messed up I shot him.â
   âHe had a gun pointed at your head. He was going to kill you.â
   She wants to tell him he doesnât understand, thatâs just how he is, how he makes a point, but sheâs sobbing too badly to talk anymore. She goes for the gun once more, but Deadshot keeps it away and holds her while she cries, neither of them quite able to do anything else.
And thatâs how the world exists for a moment. Harley Quinn, criminal queen of Gotham City, sobbing in Deadshotâs arms, while The Jokerâs former henchmen and Amanda Wallerâs forces watch in a state of pure, unadulterated, shock.
   Wallerâs forces shatter the moment first. Theyâre coming in. The Jokerâs dead, mission accomplished. Time to ship all their used criminals back to their cages. Deadshot and Harley slowly stand up, while men in riot gear with guns close in on themâwild criminals with no more kill switch to stop them. âHey Deadshot,â Harley says, wiping away the last of her tears.
   âYeah Harley?â
   âYouâre not going back to prison after all.â Fast as ever, she grabs him by the hand and makes a break for the helicopter again. She pushes him up first, and she hesitates again for a second. Wallerâs forces are closing in, she doesnât have much time. But Puddinâs body is lying there not feet from where sheâs standing. His head in a red halo of blood, eyes still wide open in shock. Tears start to fall again, and she makes a move for his gunâbut Deadshot calls her back. And again, she chooses him.
She jumps up to the helicopter and heâs there to pull her up. They stand there, two criminals, two friends, his hand on her shoulder. Soft, but firm. Not like Puddinâ, not like The Joker. Not like sheâs some fragile ornament or an old beat-up toy. Itâs comforting, grounding. Helps her keep her head on straight. Keeps her from thinking about what she would do with a lethal weapon right now. Keeps her from thinking if she made the right choice or not. Keeps her thinking about how she saved him, instead.
The helicopter flies away on Harleyâs order, and the two watch as Gotham, and its damn prison, and Amanda Waller and Suicide Squad and The Jokerâs body grow smaller and smaller until theyâre all just another dark spot on the horizon.
-
They hide out for a while, in an old warehouse on the edge of Gotham. Harley cycling between hysteria, and intense states of self-loathing, and occasionally thinking maybe she didnât make the wrong choice, only for it to crash down again when she remembers it was her who shot The Joker. She took him out of her life, out of the world, forever. Deadshot keeps her gun hidden from her, and does his best to talk her down. After a while, she goes a little comatose, and sleeps for a while. A long while, getting up only when Deadshot coaxes her into eating something.
Sometime afterâneither one is quite sure how long they hidâHarley becomes somewhat functional again, and once she can be trusted not to shoot herself, the two move back into the city. They stay quiet for a while, not exactly eager to have the cops and Batman on their tail again. And, likely, The Jokerâs men, who are probably out to murder the woman who killed their boss. No matter how much they may have respected or feared her before.
Deadshot starts ducking out to visit his daughter, whoâs more than glad to see him again. Harley, with nothing else to do, starts her life of crime up again. Itâs different without The Joker around, and sometimes sheâs hit with memories vivid enough to shut her down. Most of the time, she evades capture, relying on pure instinct. Itâs how she survived so long with Him anyway. But one day she completely shuts down, and Batman doesnât fight her. He knows she needs help. And Harley, back in the place where it all started, knows that too.
Arkham isnât the best place to be. No institution is, really. But some of the doctors seem to know what theyâre doing and, in time, Harley begins to heal. I made the right choice, savinâ Deadshot, she thinks sometimes. But she still thinks maybe The Joker didnât have to die. Maybe she could have helped him. That was her original job, wasnât it? To help The Joker? She tries not to dwell on it. She doesnât want to, not yet.
Harley slowly heals. Puts her identity back together from the pieces The Joker left her in. Separates the parts of herself that he took, from him. Sheâs Doctor Harleen Quinzel. She was a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum. She wanted to have a nice job and settle down with a spouse and a couple of kids. She likes flowers, her favorite color is red, she likes Christmas lights even though she doesnât celebrate Christmas. Sheâs Doctor Harleen Quinzel, psychiatrist and former doctor to The Joker. Sheâs Harley Quinn, currently the most confusing criminal in Gotham City. Not a hero, or a villain. Something in the middle. Something good and something illegal. And thatâs okay with her.
Deadshot visits her a lot, and he brings his daughter with him sometimes. He talks about getting custody once he has his own place, once he has some kind of stable living. Harley says he should just take her. He probably will. Even his living situation would be better than where she is now. Itâs not horrible, but it could be better. It should be better. âJust make sure you stay outta prison,â Harley tells him. âI never liked my dad much, but maybe things woulda been better if heâd been around, ya know?â By the time Harley is released, Deadshot has a place in Gotham and is living with his daughter. Harleyâs happy for them.
She makes friends easily in Arkham. Sheâs charming, to say the least, the kind of person you naturally gravitate too. Not many people dislike her, but those who do still respect her. Sheâs the woman who killed The Joker. She was completely under his control, and she still turned around and shot him. No one can quite fathom the strength that took.
Her most prominent friend seems like an unlikely one. Most seem to avoid herâyouâll probably wind up eaten by some plant whoâs name you canât pronounce if you donât. But Harley Quinn isnât afraid of anything, and goddamn if she isnât a sucker for a cute girl. And, in her experience, cute girls tend to be a sucker for her too. Pamela Isley, and her horde of murderous plants, are no exception. It doesnât take long for Harley to melt Ivyâs icy exterior, and before long sheâs once again falling for a patient at Arkham Asylum. But this time itâs different. This time, the one sheâs fallen for cares about her in return. Sheâs not a prize, or a possessionâsheâs Harley Quinn. A person. Harley Quinnâwhoever, exactly, Harley Quinn is.
Itâs Ivy who helps her realize how truly awful Harleyâs relationship with The Joker was. Ivyâs been there, itâs how she became who she is now. âHe took away who I was,â Ivy tells her. âIâm not human anymore. Not completely. But Iâm not a plant. I feel closer to themâhumans are vile creaturesâbut Iâm still human, I guess. On some level.â
âSometimes I donât even feel completely human,â Harley replies. âHe shaped me like clay, made me into what he wanted. And I let him, because I thought we were in love. But all he did was hit me and throw me in a vat of acid and try to kill me. Over and over and over.â
There was a pause, then Harley speaks again. âIs it wrong that I still love him? As much as I hate him and I know he was a vile human being and I did the right thing shootinâ him, thereâs still some part of me that wishes everything had stayed how it was at the beginning.â
âItâs not wrong. I felt like that at the beginning, wishing things had stayed how they were before he tried to poison me. It passes. It just takes time.â
So, Harley takes some time. She still has flashbacks, she still has moments of wishing she could take everything back and go back to the day The Joker asked her to smuggle him a gun. But she copes. And she moves on, in her own way. She reaches a day where she can confidently say she made the right decision. No hesitation. I was one hundred percent right in shooting The Joker. Her only regret is not doing it sooner.
Eventually, she and Ivy both leave Arkham Asylum. And the first day theyâre both out, Harley asks Ivy to stay with her, to be with her. And she does.
Harley moves in with Deadshot, who she considers a cool older brother at this point. Sheâs a great help in raising his daughter. And, after a while, Harleyâs girlfriend moves in with them too. And some years later, after an outdoor ceremony covered in red flowers and Christmas lights, Harley lives with her wife and Deadshot. And the three of them and Zoe are a weird little family, but a good one. And they all have problems, theyâre all still criminals and arenât afraid to turn to crime when they have to. Theyâre not good guys, but theyâre better than they were. Theyâre healing. Theyâll never be who they used to be, whether they want to be or not. They canât turn back the clock, but thatâs okay. They still have now. This moment.
If you could, you would go back and change anything? Deadshot doesnât have any regrets. Ivy isnât really sure. She loves her powers, her plants, but the negatives that caused it and came with it? If only she could get rid of that.
Harleyâs answer is usually a long one. Yeah, thereâs a million and one things sheâd change if she got the chance. She wouldnât go to Arkham. She wouldnât take The Joker as a patient. She would have left him sooner, seen the signs sheâd been taught to see. She would have killed him sooner. She would have pushed him into the acid. She would have helped Batman capture him during the car chase that got her arrested. She wouldnât have hesitated when she shot him on that rooftop, so long ago now. But if she did any of that, she wouldnât be where she is now. She wouldnât know Deadshot, The Joker would still be alive, maybe some other girl would have become Harley Quinn instead. Maybe there would have been many Harleyâs, dying and being replaced on a whim. She wouldnât have met the love of her life. Things would be different, so, so different. But would they be better? âI really donât know.â
But in the end, The Joker is dead. A bullet stuck right between the eyes, fired by Harley Quinn. The girl he shaped to be his perfect doll. The woman who was tired of being controlled. And Harley is alive. Sheâs Harley Quinn, and she endured The Joker for years and came out alive. She shot The Joker in the face and if thereâs any moment in her life sheâd never change, it would be that one.
Years and years later, she's put herself back together. One some level, because of trauma, part of her will always change. her identity will never be quite stable . But she's managed to carve out bits of pieces. She's Doctor Harleen Quinzel, psychiatrist. Her favorite color is red, her favorite flowers are sunflowers, she loves soft things and indie music. She's Harley Quinn, good guy criminal of Gotham City. The woman who saved Deadshot on a rooftop so many years ago, and killed Jack Napier, Gotham Cityâs most vile and notorious villian. And she will die before she defines herself by him ever again.
She's Harley Quinn, and all these years later, she's free.
#harley quinn#harleen quinzel#deadshot#poison ivy#harlivy#dcu#suicide squad#fanfic#abuse tw#attempted suicide tw#suicide mention tw#death tw#murder tw#gun violence tw
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Daily Word Count:Â 4,010!Â
Told myself I was gonna write at least 50 words yesterday, and I did. And then inspiration struck. Might actually post something here soon now? Hope you guys like Harley Quinn
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Daily Word Count: 3,045!!!!!!!
I did a lot of writing today Iâm very happy with myself. I had an idea for a Dungeons and Dragons campaign (well sort of, itâs a short murder mystery dinner type thing with a dnd play style) and spent most of the evening writing up the framework for it and the first few scenes. I canât wait to keep working on it!!!
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Daily Word Count: 512!
Today was mostly writing up some world building stuff, but I did also finish a scene I didn't get to finish last night. It'll have to be fleshed out more but the framework is there
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Daily Word Count: 650!
Havenât written anything in a while, but tonight I read through an old piece and worked on a scene. Also wrote in a few character who I can already tell is going to become a main. Hope I can keep up with it tomorrow!!!
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Daily Word Count:Â 1,576
Woo! Got a lot done today :D Over the last few days I finally finished lightly editing/reading through an old piece, so today I was able to continue it! I hope Iâm able to get just as much done tomorrow~
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Daily Word Count: 500
Today I worked a bit more on the same thing as yesterday. Got through another twenty pages of editing! I also wrote another page of a short writing prompt Iâm working on (which Iâll post once itâs finished and edited).Â
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Todayâs word count:Â 100
Okay, this isnât a lot, especially compared to yesterday, but today was a lot of editing a reviewing. I had an urge to dig up an old piece and read though it/make some small edits. Nothing major just yet. I was able to get through the first three chapters/twenty pages.
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Todayâs word count: 1,028.Â
I havenât tried to write anything in months (anything substantial in years), so Iâm pretty satisfied right now.Â
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