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sapphireans · 4 years ago

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I want to become a writer. I want to throw the gun aside and only have pen and paper. One man told me that to write a story is to write a person. A man who takes lives cannot write about lives. That’s why I won’t kill.

#bsdedit #bsdgifs #bsdnet #fyanimegifs #allanimanga #fybungoustraydogs #oda sakunosuke #odasaku #bungou stray dogs #bsd #my gifs #hello yes I still miss him :((((

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sapphireans · 4 years ago

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These words Dazai said to Oda were also directed at himself. This is how Dazai finds the strength to face his reality everyday: he was hoping for something to happen, and while he did not know what that was or how, he had to believe it would happen. This is why I’m convinced Dazai never truly wanted to die. He was seeking something out there that he didn’t quite understand, but tried to make himself believe it would give him a reason to stay alive.

But this is also the reason why Dazai couldn’t save Oda. His plea, his heartfelt advice couldn’t become Oda’s reason to stay. While Dazai was searching for his calling, Oda had found his, and had lived for that sole purpose ever since. Sadly, that purpose had been taken away from him. A man’s sole reason to live and seek redemption, reduced to ashes all too quickly and too easily.

Dazai’s long and painful wait for that something was the reason he stayed alive. Oda having found that something to live for, and him seeing it destroyed within minutes, was the reason he stopped wanting to live. Dazai’s yearning for the unknown and hopeful - “it will happen” - couldn’t be more contrasting with Oda’s utter destruction from knowing his hope had already been extinguished - “it’s all over for me”. Dazai was chasing without knowing, but Oda had already chased, already known, and now that his destination had been burnt to the ground, there was nothing worth chasing anymore.

Which is also why Oda was the right person to give Dazai any sort of advice, and not the other way round. Oda had been there, and now he passed on the knowledge to Dazai that being good would definitely be better, even if it’s just a little bit. Dazai was holding on to something unreachable and unseen, but Oda gave him a new hope - a thread to cling to. Even if their hearts couldn’t reach out to each other in time, even if they were more different than similar, Oda was able to give Dazai a part of himself to help Dazai move on, to have something to cling to and rely on in the new struggle he had to face, this time without the bond he had with Oda and Ango to keep him afloat in dark waters.