sapphic-whore96

[sapphic-whore96]

[sapphic-whore96]

[sapphic-whore96]

In your darkest moments, I’ll cover you

When you need someone to listen, I’ll cover you

The moments you feel you’re at your wits end, I’ll cover you

At times you are filled with absolute joy and peace, I’ll cover you

There’s not a single thing that could ever make me feel any other way about you. You have entered my life and filled me with something I never knew I needed, I can’t quite put my finger on what that is, but I do know there’s nothing that has ever made me feel so loved and alive like you have. I have and will continue to love you with everything I have, I will continue to fight for you. I used to think of it as fighting for us, but I know that’s just a fantasy in my mind that I wish were true, but I know even if that can’t be I will always fight for you, fight for what you deserve, and have this endless spirit living inside me just for you. You’re the one, the one who changed everything for me, my outlook now is so different from what I thought it could ever be. I hope someday I can tell you this for real, but for now I lay with my emotions, and I know that’s okay because I know I always have you, and that you will always have me. Love hurts, but I would take all the hurt to have just an incling of that happiness I get with you, you’re it baby, and I could never describe how much it means to me.

[sapphic-whore96]

You’re a small cabinet in my mind, the one where you keep the most precious memories stored, for the moments you need to remember what it’s like to feel love

~ r.m ~

[sapphic-whore96]

Time goes on, but my love for you remains deeper and fuller than ever, I love you with all my being

[sapphic-whore96]

The beginning of acceptance

As I lay awake thinking of you, thinking of what we had, apart of me trembles. It hurts not having you anymore, it hurts not being able to feel your touch whenever I want, it aches knowing that I just simply wasn’t what you needed me to be anymore; but there is another side. As I tremble I also realize the purity and joy that there still is between us, I may not have you the way I would like, but I still have you, and you still have me. When in real need of love and care, you’re there, at your weakest moments, I am there. We’ve been through some real hardships together, one shouldn’t simply just let that go completely, and although I can’t have you the way I want to have you anymore, I am so blessed everyday to be able to still be apart of your life. My world changed when you came into it, you didn’t only bring me happiness, you showed me my own self worth and what I’m capable of, you gave me safety, and you helped guide me to become someone I only ever dreamed of becoming. My love for you will never end, and although I don’t think that pain will ever go away, I also know that you will never go away either, we’re in this life together, and that’s something that means much more to me than what we had. I will continue to love you, no matter what happens, apart of my heart lies with you, and for that I’m forever grateful.

[sapphic-whore96]

Discovery

Yesterday we talked about us, what it was and what it is, we haven’t exactly done this since it ended, and a part of me wishes we didn’t. Things aren’t going back to the way they were, I had some hope that it would happen but you made that very clear it won’t. I sit here, heart heavy, and I can’t help but weep... I can’t exactly tell you how I feel, I can’t exactly tell anyone without it getting back to you, so I must remain in silence. Now it’s just about accepting and moving forward, but I’m not exactly sure I have the strength to do that, so I will sit here with my tears shedding, and see where it goes. Loving you will never stop, it’s just about letting go of what was and moving into what it is

[sapphic-whore96]

Numbing

I almost kinda forget what happened, and it isn’t exactly a normalcy feeling, but it’s a no feeling. It passes my mind but then it hits, and I feel crushed by a bouldering struggle of what to do. I love you, I can’t help but love you, and so the festation kicks in and I’m left just crush like a bug. But soon enough the numbness kicks in, which is my way of coping, but not actually dealing with losing you.. numb to what I shouldn’t be numb towards, and feeling what I wish I didn’t have to feel...

[sapphic-whore96]

Morning thoughts

Most of the time it doesn’t bother me, but there’s those days that it does. I woke up again in a panic, I grabbed your end of the bed to realize you’re no longer there. It took a second to come to, once I did then though that gut wrenching feeling kicked in, I became numb. I miss you, and I miss waking up in peace knowing you were there

[sapphic-whore96]

Heartache

She filled my heart so full, then just like that, was able to empty it all over again

[sapphic-whore96]

Her

A force of great power is living inside me, deteriorating all I thought I knew, and bringing all its strength onto the table.

It carefully creeps into the depth of me, and without hesitation it strikes, leaving me full of such deep serenity and joy, this feeling you might ask, is called love.

Step by step it challenges me, and the challenges it brings are unlike any other. Because with such calmness/serenity lies an anxious, butterfly ridden underground. With such joy lies a deep sadness, and although I feel there’s so much left to the story of this power, I have no control on whether it’s going to end or not.

Some days are better than others, this girl, my force remains at arms reach, however I have no power on what happens between us anymore, so I just sit and ponder. I’m breaking at the seams here, she’s my essence and all I could ever dream of, just staring me in the face, but that’s all I can do, just dream.

I spend day in and day out thinking of holding her again, being able to wake up next to her and tell her “Goodmorning beautiful” like it used to be. She’s still in my life, and I’m still trying to figure out whether that makes things harder or easier.

On one end she’s still there, I know if I ever need anyone or anything, she will be there. On the other end though it devastates me, because yes I can go to her for anything, but how do you go to someone about all your pain when it’s them inflicting it? I know that’s not her intention, life happens and that is why things ended, but as we spend time together, laugh together and enjoy our lives, it kills a part of me inside.

The things I would do to be able to kiss her again, to feel her body against mine and tell her how truly and intensely I’m still in love with her. I feel you personally only get one of these if your life, if that even. It doesn’t mean love will not enter your life again, but there’s that one that hits deeper than any other love. As terrifying as it is, I would tell anyone to go for it, because there’s nothing like it, and I’d kill to have it again.

[sapphic-whore96]

Long time coming

I’ve been away from the tumblr world a while, but I need a niche, somewhere I can vent and share how I feel, feel free to follow my journey. I’m mostly going to post about my love life, and lack of it lol. It’s been really a hard time and I’m hurting from what I’ve lost and I just wanna put it out there somewhere, and by all means please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts/feelings on what I’m saying, because that’s really why I wanna do this, so I can hear people’s opinions and just get it off my chest. Love you all and thank you xoxo

[sapphic-whore96]

[sapphic-whore96]

“I’m sick and tired of trying to hide the mess that I am.”

— (via habdichverloren)

[sapphic-whore96]

[sapphic-whore96]

I LOVE MY NEW SHIRT!

[sapphic-whore96]

when u cut a bad person out of ur life