saphiwrath

[saphiwrath]

Personal

by Tony Hoagland

Don’t take it personal, they said; but I did, I took it all quite personal —

the breeze and the river and the color of the fields; the price of grapefruit and stamps,

the wet hair of women in the rain — And I cursed what hurt me

and I praised what gave me joy, the most simple-minded of possible responses.

The government reminded me of my father, with its deafness and its laws,

and the weather reminded me of my mom, with her tropical squalls.

Enjoy it while you can, they said of Happiness Think first, they said of Talk

Get over it, they said at the School of Broken Hearts

but I couldn’t and I didn’t and I don’t believe in the clean break;

I believe in the compound fracture served with a sauce of dirty regret,

I believe in saying it all and taking it all back

and saying it again for good measure while the air fills up with I’m-Sorries

like wheeling birds and the trees look seasick in the wind.

Oh life! Can you blame me for making a scene?

You were that yellow caboose, the moon disappearing over a ridge of cloud.

I was the dog, chained in some fool’s backyard; barking and barking:

trying to convince everything else to take it personal too.

[saphiwrath]

"I aborted two daughters..."

by Diane Seuss

I aborted two daughters, how do I know they were girls, a mother knows, at least one daughter, maybe one daughter and a son, will it hurt I asked the pre-abortion lady and she said, her eyes were so level, I haven’t been stupid enough to need to find out, cruel but she was right, I was and am stupid, please no politics, I’ve never gotten over it, no I don’t regret it, two girls with a stupid penniless mother and a drug-addict father, I don’t think so, I shot a rabbit once for food, I am not pristine, I am not good, I am in no way Jesus, I am in no way even the bad Mary let alone the good, though I have held my living son in the pietà pose, I didn’t know at the time I was doing it but now that I look back, he’d overdosed and nearly died, my heart, he said, his lips blue, don’t worry, I’ve paid.

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I love them sm

Cropped it for the ask, but here's the full picture of the fellas.

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I just watched the second Andor trailer.

I’m so ready.

Am I the only one who noticed the frame that looks like a wedding?

I have so much hype-

A post to appreciate Maarva—she would have been proud to see her son now

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Gale Stilton

It's a long story.

But I'm happy to have created it for my friends.

Geronimo Stilton, step aside, we have a new protagonist in town.

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— beau taplin

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kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc

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Guardati.

È passata un'ora. Un'ora che cerchi di consegnare ad una pagina già mezza piena i pensieri che ti colano dagli occhi.

La pagina è quasi finita, ma non va bene niente. Ricominci ancora e ancora, passi dalla prima alla terza alla seconda persona, dalla filastrocca al racconto, dalla pagina di diario alla lettera ad un amico.

Le versioni bocciate, le copri di scarabocchi. A volte sono fitti, decisi, per rendere illeggibile quello che coprono. Altre volte sono più svogliati, servono più a fare sapere agli altri che sì, lo sai che fa schifo, piuttosto che a nascondere il tuo lavoro.

Forse sono gli scarabocchi la rappresentazione più accurata. Forse dovresti provare a leggere quelli, invece delle parole.

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I can't find a better way to publish this so here ya go!

RAIN WORLD LIZARD AMIGURUMI PATTERN

DISCLAIMER: this isn't an easy pattern to read not because the construction is hard, but because I wrote it as I went out of spite for the lack of RW patterns despite how plushieable everything is, without any real knowledge of how to write a pattern. Beginners are highly discouraged because it will be frustrating to read for them. I suggest starting this if you're pretty confident you can wing it when the instructions are unclear.

BODY:

Black yarn

SC 6 into magic ring (6)

(SC 2, INC) around (8)

SC around (8)

(SC 3, INC) around (10)

SC around (10)

(SC 4, INC) around (12)

SC around (12)

(SC 5, INC) around (14)

SC around (14)

(SC 6, INC) around (16)

SC around (16)

(SC 7, INC) around (18)

SC around (18)

(SC 8, INC) around (20)

SC around (20)

(SC 9, INC) around (22)

SC around (22) x20

DEC 11 times (11)

DEC 5 times, SC once (6)

Fasten off. You won't need a tail for sewing on this.

HEAD:

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT THE HEAD

I made the head using three panels because I hate stitching cube-ish shapes. If you want, you can make one 9×9 single crochet square and four 9×7 single crochet rectangles and join them so you get an open box shape.

LONG PANEL

Pink yarn

Ch 10

SC in second chain from hook

SC in every CH, turn work and repeat x23

HEAD SIDE PANELS ×2

Pink yarn

CH 10

SC in second CH from hook

SC in every CH, turn work and repeat × 7

LEGS x4

Pink yarn

SC 6 into magic circle (6)

(2 SC, INC) around (8)

SC around (8)

(SC 3, INC) around (10)

Switch to black yarn

SC around (10)

(SC 4, INC) around (12)

(SC 5, INC) around (14)

Assembly instructions if you made the head with three pieces:

Attach the head side panels to the long panel about 7 rows from each side of the long panel. That way, they will be centered on the long panel. Stitch each side panel to the long panel so you get a cube shape with one side open.

GENERAL ASSEMBLY INSTRUCTIONS:

Crochet a border around the assembled head. SC around while occasionally stitching tentacles (I did two per side) like so:

- CH your desired tentacle length + 1. I did a variable length of 10 to 13 for the sides and top of the head, and 4 for the bottom

- SC in the second CH from your hook

- If your tentacle is 4 CH long, SC in every CH. If it's one of the longer ones, it will look good with only SC as well, but I gave it a bit of shape by adding HDC and DC as well. My pattern was SC×2, HDC, DCx2, HDC, SC×2.

- Once you've done a stitch in every chain, skip one stitch of the border if you ended on a SC or HDC, two if you ended it on a DC, and proceed until you finish the border

- To finish the border, slip stitch into the first stitch of the border and keep the tail for sewing the head on the body

I suggest blocking the tentacles as they tend to curl on themselves a lot.

Embroider a line across three sides of the box for the mouth. Put one safety eye in each top corner of the head sides, on their side that's closest to the front of the head.

Sew the head to the body. Since it is open on one side, I didn't stuff it, I just used it as a cover for the body and secured it with a few stitches in pink yarn.

I can't provide instructions for the legs because I eyeballed them. Just try to line them up. I suggest keeping them closer to the head because it will make the tail seem longer. I didn't stuff them and they're a bit deflated as a result, so I suggest you do stuff them a little.

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truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

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The Starry Night

by Anne Sexton

The town does not exist except where one black-haired tree slips up like a drowned woman into the hot sky. The town is silent. The night boils with eleven stars. Oh starry starry night! This is how I want to die.

It moves. They are all alive. Even the moon bulges in its orange irons to push children, like a god, from its eye. The old unseen serpent swallows up the stars. Oh starry starry night! This is how I want to die:

into that rushing beast of the night, sucked up by that great dragon, to split from my life with no flag, no belly, no cry.

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In case anyone finds it helpful because mobility aids are horrifically expensive and inaccessible…

And for those people who have access to mobility devices but might benefit from a second chair they can abuse without risking expensive damage…

Erik Kondo has made a website, Open Source Innovations, that details plans for DIY wheelchairs. These wheelchairs can be made from common materials like wood, plastic, and pvc. They are lightweight and can be custom fit to the user allowing from the same degree of movement you would get from a custom chair. And they are durable and easily repairable. (he has been stress testing his latest design by dropping it down stairs, dropping it out of a car, launching it across a driveway, and throwing it off a deck). Its 12lbs and I think he said its was in the $200 ish range for parts.

He also is working on cheap, open source, accessible designs for beach chairs, off road chairs, motorized attachments (think smart drive), and so on. Plus he skateboards in his wheelchair. Cool dude, helpful info, pass it on.

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I need a hotline that I can call and complain to about all the petty stuff that I know my friends don't like hearing me say but I still need to yell about to someone

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please listen to this it is destroying me its so funny

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*jazz music stops*

When the team realize Gale and Athalia (my Tav) are a couple now. Gale is not joking anymore she's more vanilla than him, forgive her

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[saphiwrath]

I hope you heal from the things you don't talk about. I hope you heal from the things no one ever apologized for. I hope you heal from the things no one knows you went through. I hope you heal from the things you cry about at night. I hope you heal from the things and people that shattered your confidence. I hope you heal from the things you manage to hide so well. I hope you heal from the things which hurts you in anyway either emotionally, mentally or physically. I hope you heal both physically and mentally.