sanity-falling

[sanity-falling]

[sanity-falling]

being in your early twenties is like [grocery shopping alone] [having instant noodles for dinner] [remembering random details about that one friend you haven't spoken to in five years] [feeling overwhelming guilt for every purchase that isn't strictly "necessary"] [having midday naps] [finding out through facebook that the girl who was mean to you in high school has a husband and a baby] [falling a little in love with every stranger on public transport] [pretending you're not afraid of being alone] [wondering when you'll feel like a fully realized person] [listening to bands you liked in middle school] [blinking and it's suddenly december] [failing to imagine yourself ten years from now] [feeling like you're running out of time]

[sanity-falling]

For my next trick I’ll go through 9 different emotions within two minutes

[sanity-falling]

imagine how good it must feel to press a gun to your temple after a bad day and just hold it there with your eyes closed for a few minutes before sighing and putting it away

[sanity-falling]

Why am I so disposable. I give and give and pour my all into people to beg for companionship. And I dare to be jealous?

[sanity-falling]

I’m trying to convince myself I’m okay. Trying to deny I’m a system still. Fuck!!!! I’ve been able to ignore my own mental state and issues for four months ! Fuck!!!!

[sanity-falling]

Why do I still think about it. Five ? Four? Years. When did I become that foul. How can I not do it again, how, how can I trust anyone after so long, I fucked up my entire life and dragged him with it. God bless lol

[sanity-falling]

i hate everyone and i wish i never made any connections to anyone

[sanity-falling]

I genuinely don’t even know who I am. And you know, maybe I’ve never known. I’ve always been mirroring partners I’ve been with. Who am I, truly lol?

[sanity-falling]

going to the grocery store is like ohh ok guess everything is 500 thousand million dollars now and i should just die

[sanity-falling]

I am the easiest person to get rid of. You can imply once that you don't want me around and you'll never see me again. Call me annoying once, I'm gone. Be mean to me once and I will get out of your life promptly. Look at me the wrong way and I am a ghost. The fear of being a burden will have me erase myself before staying where I'm not wanted.

[sanity-falling]

i hate everyone and i wish i never made any connections to anyone

[sanity-falling]

[sanity-falling]

"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

[sanity-falling]

when someone doesn’t wanna tell me what i did wrong and suddenly i’m 8 years old wondering what i did to make my mom mad again

[sanity-falling]

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

[sanity-falling]