sanctifiedasylum

[sanctifiedasylum]

The tolerant intolerant.

As a constant over thinker, I often wake up at night pondering the complexities of my world.  My brain, much like dancing bears at a disco party, bounces from one subject to the next. All it takes to get into this realm is a post, a word, a video, a picture, or a thought, and here I am.   I find it is sometimes quite the rabbit hole to find ones self digging in. 

It's complex and maddening, yet peaceful in a way. I am always searching for something, asking  questions, and learning new things. Anything to make anything make sense or to expand my thoughts. 

As an empathetic person, I often find myself trying to understand where others may be coming from. My other half, as well as others, tell me I should not like or love everyone. Because they sure as shit, will not always return it to me.

I often think that's such a cynical way to look at life. But I, I do try to walk in others' shoes, so to speak. I do try to find at least one good thing in almost every person to like. Even if I dont actually like them. I will try to find one positive thing to give them a human existence.  Even if they're not all that pleasant. I once kept in mind that someone I worked with always wore nice shoes. Just so that I could not see them as a soulless asshole.

 They also like to tell me that not everyone is my friend. Which unless they are utterly the dregs of the earth and do unspeakable things, I get where they're coming from. Not everyone is going to like me, nor I them. Not everyone is inherently good. I do not like every person I meet. I'm not going to let people walk on me. Some I will try to avoid at all costs. So what he said may be partially true. I find that I make almost everyone that I meet my friend, if they are receptive. I do still try to give most people the benefit of a doubt. That is, until they prove me wrong, or I feel something is off. Once I'm proven wrong, though,  I will avoid them at all costs.  Im not a confrontational person. 

I don't like to argue or debate unless I'm pushed into it. Thus the reason I write more than I speak. I often find my distress in confrontation comes to fruition most when I should be sleeping. When the rest of my world is snoring in my ear. I worry over small things, big things, and the whole entire universe. I know that half the people I know would abandon me in a heartbeat because I do not believe exactly what they believe in. I try not to stress over this idea, but sometimes, I still do it on a daily basis. 

Thus, the reason I'm awake at this ungodly hour with a 4lb , 4 footed feline on my chest, playing on my phone. 

My first thought at 3 a.m., after thinking I was hungry and wondering why my chest felt so heavy, was:  why are those who profess they practice tolerance, the least tolerant people we know? They preach and spew their rhetoric at you and expect you to accept it. It doesn't matter what it is.  Doesn't matter which side you're on, or if you stand in the middle somewhere. If its not what they believe, you have to accept it. Or you are wrong.  They can not afford you the same courtesy of understanding your opinions, humor, sarcasm, or feelings. They can not fathom you think slightly different from them.  They do not realize that while you may not agree on all things. If, and that's a big If, "If" they were speaking in rational voices, and not pushing it in your face daily, or by screaming insults; they might find you have some common ground. But they plug their ears, open their mouths, and spew their animosity. They post their posts, comment their comments,  and shut their minds down. They scream from the highest towers that you and your beliefs are unacceptable. That you are inconsequential.  That they've seen the light and saw your true colors, and guess what? You're a monster to them. You are drinking the Kool-aid.  Your thoughts show the ugly side of everyone they know.  Whether you be wrong or right, they can not see clearly enough through their tolerant/intolerant conjectures to accept that someone else disagrees. Or maybe agrees, but has a different view on how much they accept it.  They can not have a decent, calm debate without spewing anger or hatred. Even if they claim to be your friend or family. You are to believe exactly as they say and do and follow it without regard to your own consciousness. You're not to ask questions. Accept it or be damned. Accept it, or you're an imbecile, a degenerate if you will. 

It hurts my heart most days. Friends and family are constantly berating each other because they don't have the same beliefs. They're blocking and unfriending, in some cases just not associating with those they used to care about. Over what? People who could care less about how we survive what they create?   In reality, we civilians mostly have the same basic beliefs. We all want the same things in life. Security in our future, a home, food, family, a life well lived. What one person believes is the best life, may not be the same as another. But inherently, the roots for our basic needs are the same.  

Some people just enjoy making a mountain out of a mole hill and then try to ski down it on a straw mat with thumbtacks in it. Screaming their obscenities all the way down. They'll do it just to try and get your attention to make themselves heard.  So unhappy with their own life that they must always make their presence known.

If I could, I would tune it all out. But that's quite impossible to do without moving to a deserted island in the middle of the ocean and shutting off all technology. I feel like an island near Guam sounds nice, and the people are lovely there. So I've heard. (** Notice the sarcasm?**)

Now I'm not perfect! I, too, fall in the trap at times. I, too, have beliefs I sometimes feel passionate about or something that resonates with some things I believe. (Current rant at hand, case in point) I, too, can sometimes post or say ridiculous things because I find them entertaining, or because I think some people might relate or even agree.  I, too, can post wrong things. But I do learn from them. Sometimes, I will do so knowing it's gonna stir the shit pot, and I'm holding the spoon. Lol, I confess, sometimes I may instigate. But I do try and understand another persons views on most days. I don't try to go and rage at them over their ideas or views. Though, I often times wonder why they feel they need to do so to me and others. I try not to get inflamed with all that I see.

I may not agree, but I do not begrudge them for their beliefs.  A quote I liked when I was young comes to mind. I have no idea where I saw it or who said it. "Believe in what you want, but don't infringe on the rights of others."  I try my best to let people be themselves.  Sometimes, it's hard to live by, especially when people are constantly berating others. Or when internet warriors go on the war path.  I am far from perfect. But I am a work in progress. 

I digress, back to the  3 am rant:

I got up this early and thought it was quite the paradox, this professing tolerance while not quite tolerating others.  Thus, an innocent look on the internet delved me deeper into a sleepless morning.  I've been writing and reading, it's now 10:30 am. ( I should be sleeping. But alas, my sandman detests me. ) 

I've been reading Wikipedia,  Google,  Reddit... all on the Paradox of Tolerance and the subjects that go with it.  So my rabbit hole has begun. My brain may not retain it all, but I am reading it anyway. I forget most things nowadays, which is a blessing and a curse.  Honestly, I had heard of The Paradox of Tolerance but never really read anything about it. You may go look it up yourself... if you like. It's entirely too much to post about. There's plenty of astute theories and discussions out there.  Reddit has a great thread going. I've been reading that for quite some time. Seeing all the takes on it.  Eli5

https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/17c3usv/eli5_what_is_the_paradox_of_tolerance_and_is_it/

The thing with the paradox of tolerance, as one person stated and I can concur. Is that the one thing I can't wrap my head around, is, how do we decide who the tolerant and intolerant are? Isn't me? Isn't  you? ( Haha, and now I'm singing Vasoline in my head.)  If so, if it isn't us, who is it?   I think I, myself, I am stuck.  I think I am stuck in the middle. Like a fly in the vasoline. ( I'm still singing in my head.)  I'm tolerant of most things in life unless you are causing deep direct harm to another individual being. 

(*A social contract comes to mind. A social contract then has been created. Another solution is to place tolerance in the context of social contract theory: to wit, tolerance should not be considered a virtue or moral principle, but rather an unspoken agreement within society to tolerate one another's differences as long as no harm to others arises from same.*)

If you hurt someone beyond compare, whether it be mentally or physically. Then I'm not so tolerant.  There are some things I will never be tolerant of. Sexual crimes, child abuse, elderly abuse, mental abuse, animal cruelty,  murder, rape, things of that evil nature...nope. I'll never be tolerant of any of that. But I also feel that punishment should be a just punishment for those crimes. There may be other things that just hurt my feelings. I tolerate them. Because I'm grown. Well, I'll only put up with so much before I become intolerant. You may do something stupid for a while, but if you continually do it, and, do not change or grow.  Well then, I will lose my tolerance for you. You now have to deal with your own damn issues. Im not going to keep inviting the snake into the chicken coop, even though I know it's a good snake doing what good snakes do. You have to push me pretty fucking hard to piss me off, and to get me to the point of hating you.  Trust me, it has happened. I'm not perfect.

 " Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins.” I will not allow you to abuse me in any form. 

But  tolerance is also a smokescreen that a lot of people use ( on either side). Some people just have shitty attitudes in life and live to make others miserable. Others just can't comprehend not everyone is going to agree with you. They use their strife or anger to justify their crappy behavior. If they think they are absolutely right, you are wrong, and you are not being tolerant enough. 

They don't want to be labeled,  but will ultimately label you.

If you dont see it their way. You're a racist. You're being ugly. You're phobic if you dont want it their way. You're a traitor to your country. You're an extremist if you believe all people should be able to live the way they want as long as they bring no harm to others. If you're pro this, or pro that, or maybe somewhere in between, you're wrong. Dont want biological men to compete against women... you're wrong. You want women to compete in men's sports... you're wrong. Do you want women in the draft? Oh no, not our girls... but you want equal rights?  You are wrong. Guns, no guns, holler "take them away", or "let me have my guns"...you're wrong. Think a baby begins at conception? Don't think it's a baby at all?  You're wrong. It's your body, your choice. But God forbid, you think there are exceptions or think it's wrong to use it as birth control.  You're wrong.  You don't want the evil orange felon of a man in office. You're labeled a radical and misogynistic bigot. You don't want the cackling hen in office. You're against women's reproductive rights, and you're not a woman. Vote, dont vote.. You don't want either or in the office. You're wrong! You're not down with the vibes, people.  You're drinkin the Kool-aid man. Pardon me... not man, uh woman, uh, person, uh shit ... <<< Oh, you dont want to use the accepted pro-nouns of the self proclaimed tolerant,   they, them, she, he, her, him, dog, cat, clown, twatwaffle,   Fuck you, you're a gender bigot, you're homophobic. ( Might just be that you're old and don't remember that bullshit nonsense). Believe in science? Astrology?Believe the world is flat? You're  nuts! Believe in ghosts, spirits, or aliens? Witchcraft? Mothernature? Are you a tree hugger? You are wrong. No pipeline, build a pipeline, build a wall, and don't build a wall. Energy, jobs, world trade, nope, you are all wrong. Wars, no wars?  Peace?  Protest, dont protest? Clean air, green solutions. You want people to come in the country legally... not illegally, you're a hater and a traitor. No wars, you're a pacifist who doesn't think in reality or dreamer who has no clue in life. Peace is an illusion.  You want lower interest rates.. lower gas rates, lower grocery rates, you're wrong. You want foreign people who don't even live here buying all our farmland, or real-estate, or maybe you want help for our farmers? Nope, you are wrong.  Military and police to protect us, wrong. Dont care who marries who. You're wrong. Believe in this god or that God, no God at all, you're wrong.  Taxes, no taxes,  You ain't black, you ain't white, you're not green, red or blue,  but you just a memba of a union that makes you do what they do. You're  so wrong. Death for murderers, or let em rot, oh you're wrong. Don't obey the laws. Obey the laws. Wrong! You're a religious fanatic 'cause you go to church, a temple, a mosque, a synagogue, but you're a heathen 'cause you dont. Wrong. We're all just wrong.

No one is going to be a lemming and think everything the same. If that was the case, we would all be running head first off the cliffs at this point. 

Yeah,  you can't win either side you go. You could say the grass is green, the sky is blue, and there is always gonna be that one person whose perception is that it's all purple.  ( Btw, that person is 5, so I give her leeway, and I like that she sees things in vivid color.) But brow beating people into believing your way is best is not gonna change their mind that the sky is purple.  Brow beating them only confirms that their stance is right and you are wrong. 

 So why the fuck ( pardon me) are you all going off the deep-end? Why the fuck are you losing friends n family? Every one has different ideas in this world. Different perceptions of how they want their life to be. We grow from understanding each other and respecting our differences.  If you debate them in a respectful and calm matter... you might actually learn, or change someone's mind. ( Let me reiterate CALM, and my acronym... Caring and Loving mankind.  ) It could go either way, you just never know. You talk calmly and rationally. You may just learn something. Those people we are arguing over up in there in the government could care less, truly, what we do in life. As long as we follow some semblance of societys laws. The laws, no matter which way we turn, will change again at some point.  They always do. It's why we choose to vote.  It's why we are a constitutional republic. Yay, America!

I get it,  be angry if you see true racism, true homophobia, domestic and child abuse, and true hate anywhere. Be angry, stop it, say something. You see harm coming to another soul... stop it. Don't let someone kidnap the kid off the street or beat a person to death. Be kind to your fellow human beings, do unto others as you would have done to you. Show some damn respect and truly tolerate our differences.

But, for those of us here in the middle of all this rhetoric.... we're just trying to survive the rest of you and lean towards what affiliates with our beliefs just a tad more than the other. We don't have to be for one side or the other. But we lean either way, and we get berated just the same. Nowadays, political or belief wise,  if it doesn't align, you're wrong.  It's shameful, really. We should all feel shame that we treat each other so disrespectfully. I do, n I try my hardest to let you all be you. But it's getting tiring. It's tiring battling all your hate. 

Honestly, I don't give a rats ass what you do in your own  life as long as it doesn't hurt anyone and doesn't involve hurting children or animals. As a grown ass adult, make your choices, live the way you want, sleep with who you want, and vote the way you want.  Protest or debate peacefully when you feel the need. Protect yourself the way you see fit.  But deal with the consequences and actions. I live with my choices and my regrets daily. Grow up. Live a happy  life.

I Saw this in a comment in a thread. 

*As a result, the definition of an intolerant person has become so muddied and loose, to the point where it might as well mean, “someone who believes things that make me feel bad.*    

This struck a cord.  That's exactly how it's becoming. Everyone hates me, nobody likes me, I guess I'll just go out n eat worms. Except... they don't go out and eat worms they go and scream that you must believe like they do. Why, because you hurt their delicate feelings. If you don't well, we already went through that above.  We're all a little fucked in the head. What has become of us? 

Caught this guy's site while reading. 

https://markmanson.net/the-paradox-of-tolerance

>Tolerance means to accept something’s existence, even if you disagree with or dislike it. Tolerance of a thing does not require you to embrace it.

The irony is that in order to practice tolerance, you must be willing to sit with things that upset you or make you uncomfortable.

Yet, if your adopted ethic is that no one should ever be upset or uncomfortable, then you make any sort of tolerance impossible.<

Ok...well it 2 pm... just thoughts in my head. Im tired now. This world weighs me down. I love you all. I believe you may believe in what you believe in, live your life the way you want to, no matter your sex, race, or religion. Or even your political affiliation. Just make it a life full of love for yourself and your fellow human beings. 

It took me two days to write that and here I am on day 3, Wednesday. I wrote all that before I saw anything later in the evening. 

I am ashamed once again about human decency. A second assassination attempt has shown just how ugly we, as humans, can be.  Love Trump or hate him, there is something inherently wrong if you think a man being murdered is ok.  Last time, I saw people posting, " Oh, they should have got a better shot!"  Now I see people either spouting the same rhetoric  or yet, still others saying " Oh, I don't wish him dead, but.......  if it happens, I won't miss him." This nonchalant stance is the same as wishing him dead, in my opinion.  You say you don't wish him dead, but you will revel in the fact when it happens.  It's just a fancy way of saying you hope they kill him.  The funny thing is, if it was her, you'd be in an outrage at the injustice of it all. You be bringing pitchforks and storming the castle.  Crying Why aren't they doing more? Who is to blame?   The non-existence of our presidents voice and vice president lack of response " We dont condone violence."  That's a lack of reaction, not a condemnation. Playing it down. The media is in the "Look,  if I brush all this dirt under the couch... no one can see it, so it's not there mode. (Yet we all know it's there being ignored, just collecting more crap to add to the pile.)   I don't  hate anyone for this thought process. Or trying to rationally make it make sense.�� Frankly, it's in our nature to sometimes have those private thoughts. However, bringing them to fruition out for all the world to see. Or, enacting upon them, and premeditating the rationalization of someones death. Well, that just shows how devoid of emotion and how desensitized we have become to murder and to killing another human because we don't agree with them.  I'm ashamed and saddened to see all of it. We can not be that calloused in life about death and mayhem.

I never thought I'd be sharing a video from Chris Cuomo. But here I am . I'm giving this man much respect for sharing his view. 

https://youtu.be/MSuefLVK6aw?si=C09UBnr2JN7rzwEU

My fellow human beings... He's right.

We can do better!