samspinkyring

[samspinkyring]

Widowmaker cinematic - Mirrorwatch version

[samspinkyring]

Affection; a Sam Kiszka x Reader

no content warnings as of yet, but I'll add as we continue! i ask that readers bare with me, as this is my first time using tumblr and quiet honestly my first time posting a solo fic i've written completely by myself!! thank you for anyone stopping by <3

“Oh, i ‘ m looking for affection in all the wrong places . “

September

That was the last time you could honestly remember things being normal. The air had a specific crisp in its breeze, and fall sports were in full force. Sam had dragged you out to the football game, of course for no other reason than to poke fun at the players clad in shoulder pads and stupid knee-high socks. You and Sam’s friendship mostly consisted of being complete cunts whenever you went out into public together. The type of people you’d typically hate when being out in public, but Sam happened to bring out an extremely annoying side of you, and you didn’t help his ungracious sense of public awareness at all.

“Y’know, football is kind of a homoerotic sport once you really think about it.” Sam said, voice raised slightly above the band and fellow students in the student section that were cheering for the team. Both of you had no idea what was going on, and you were relieved you didn’t have to pretend. You were standing shoulder to shoulder with plenty of other students, and it wasn’t the most . . . comfortable experience, but you’re glad you have Sam to distract you.

There’s a soft laugh shared between you and your best friend, his hand coming up to lightly graze your arm to keep his feet steady on the narrow bleacher you two were standing on as he laughs that stupid annoying laugh you’ve learned to love, ”God, do you just say words to say them, Sam?” you tease, eyebrows raising as a silent test to your statement. There was some truth to your words. Sometimes Sam just. . . talked, probably because he wasn’t used to getting words in between his bickering older brothers. 

Truthfully, you loved them all. You loved how you could go to Josh about pretty much anything and he would listen – offer some philosophical advice that you couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Jake had this air about him that screamed confidence and you really admired him, his talent and attitude towards life was something that was infectious to you. Daniel, while not related, kept everyone in check. As tiring and overused as the term “mom friend” is, there's no other way to describe him, and you admired his ability to be the calm and driving force behind each and every one of you. Then there was Sam. . . Sam had all of the qualities of his older brothers and best friend all in one package. Something that drew you towards him like a moth drawn to a flame.

Although you would never tell him how you truly felt out of fear of losing the relationship you had built with not only him, but his family; you couldn’t imagine a life without him – so you kept quiet. If silencing your desire meant you got to keep Sam around, you would.

“Hellooo, Y/N, are you even paying attention?” Sam is waving a hand in your face, bringing you back to the fact everyone was cheering. You shove his hand away and start clapping almost instinctively over whatever play had just happened. 

You look at Sam with your eyebrows drawn in, glaring at him playfully, “What? Jealous I'm not giving you all my attention?” You tease, turning your head but not before shooting him a killer side eye

Sam lets out a small ‘pft’, shaking his head and brushing hair from his face,”Oh, whatever. Bite me.” He responds, popping his hip out hard enough to knock you into the girl to your right to which you immediately apologize.

You slap Sam in the chest with the back of your hand, glaring at him once more, “If you wanna be annoying, I’ll just go sit with Josh or Jake. I’m sure they'd be glad to keep me company.” You retort, a stern look on your face. Josh, Jake, and Daniel had shown up to sit and watch their friends in the band and whatnot that had been left behind once they graduated.

Sam’s teasing smile almost faltererd – and you can tell, “Yeah, whatever. You like hanging out with me too much.” He said, rolling his eyes. If only he knew the truth behind his statement.

The game goes on to win in Frankenmuth’s favor, ensuring that every possible place to get food in that town would be filled to the brim. You and Sam find the other three missing from the group to decide where to eat, and once Danny makes the decision for everyone, you pile in two different cars and head to the closest option for food and drinks. You and Sam drive together, of course, the other three in their own car. You sit in Sam’s passenger seat comfortably, it was your spot after all. You occupied it more times than you didn’t, in the morning on the way to school and typically after whenever you and Sam came up with mundane plans for the remainder of the day.

Sam parks next to the boy’s car and you both get out, walking into the restaurant together and bantering, riding the high of the night. You all piled into a booth, Sam comfortably between you and Danny and the twins in the other booth across from you. The waitress came over, a young girl who was very visibly upset that she had missed the game. Still, she reluctantly took your drink orders. You got a Shirley Temple along with Sam (who got his with extra grenadine and an extra maraschino cherry), the other boys getting a lemon water, Coke, and Dr. Pepper respectively.  As you guys settle in, small talk ensues.

“So, how long are you guys in town for?” You ask, leaning your elbow on the table and placing your chin in the palm of your hand.

“Don’t know. . .” Jake started, Josh interjecting to finish for him.

“It’s starting to pick up!” He said excitedly, “Y’know, we’re getting gigs further and further out which is awesome, but very unfortunate for Samuel.” He said, mocking a pout towards his younger sibling who simply scoffed in response.

“Well thankfully –” Sam started, pausing to shoot Josh a glare to which the elders reaction of course was to feign innocence ( always one for the theatrics ), “We live in a small town where the staff understands. You know? As long as I get my work done on the road or before sets or whatever – Daniel too!” He said, throwing his best friend into the equation.

Jake let out a small laugh, moving hair out of his face and staring out the window. You knew he was listening, but to anyone else, he probably looked miserable.

“Hopefully . . .” Danny started, getting the conversation back on track, “ hopefully we’re stationary enough for me and Sam to finish school this year. Music is great, but senior year is also extremely important.”

“Music is forever, Daniel! To hell with school. You won’t need it once we’re playing huge, sold out, one night only shows!” Josh  said, half joking, using his arms and hands while he talked.

“Oooh, like Madison!! All of the greats have played Madison Square Garden.” Jake said, motioning with his hand in the middle of the table.

“Big goals. Promise you guys won't forget me when you’re famous?” You say, jutting your bottom lip out in an extremely dramatic way.

There was laughter among your table, and for a split second your eyes caught Sam. All you could think about were his dimples and how perfectly they complimented his smile. You draw your eyes away, an almost painful feeling ripping through your chest

“No, but seriously, like, I better be on a guest list somewhere! Or maybe I can come on the road with you guys for a leg! I don’t know, something. You know I’m literally going to die of boredom once you guys leave again.” You say, a somber feeling filling in the creases of atmosphere around the five of you.

“C'mon, Y/N, of course we won’t forget you.” Josh starts, offering an extremely sincere smile.

Jake inhaled through his teeth, a look on his face that only said “I don’t know about that”, jokingly of course.

Suddenly the silverware on the table shook, Sam having kicked Jake underneath the table and shooting him a glare, “Kidding!” Jake exclaimed, rubbing his shin where the tip of Sam’s shoe definitely left a bruise.

“Seriously, you know we’d always be happy to have you tag along with us, Y/N.” Sam said, wrapping a comforting arm around you and pulling you in for a side hug.

Even though you have hair in your face and your shoulder feels like it’s about to dislocate from how hard Sam is hugging you, the only thing you could think about is your closeness. The way you can smell what cologne Sam is wearing, only because you were there when he bought it. You can feel how soft his hair is against your face and god, he’s so warm. You pull yourself out of his gravitational pull before you’re sucked into the inevitable black hole that already consumes you.

You tuck your hair back behind your ear, beaming at the boys,”Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m holding you guys to it! You bet your ass I’m gonna be at every show I can.” You say, a serious look falling on your face. You try to ignore how hot your ears are from the closeness with Sam, hoping nobody else notices.

“We believe you.” Jake said, holding his hands up as if he’d be hurt for not agreeing.

“Good.” You say, raising a fist playfully in Jake’s direction to which Danny intervenes naturally.

The night goes on as usual, you guys share food at the table, talk about stupid high school gossip, what songs are in the process of being written, etc. At the end of the night you split into two groups once more, climbing into your seat in Sam's car so he could take you home.

As you’re buckling up and Sam is starting the car, he begins to speak, “I really do miss you out there, y’know. If I could have it my way, you’d be with us every time.” He says, pulling out of the parking space

Although your heart skips a beat, you speak as if it doesn’t affect you, “Oh, whatever Sammy, don’t flatter me.” You say jokingly, though inside you feel like your heart is about to explode. The anxiety Sam gives you isn’t bad by any means, but it’s definitely hard to ignore the way it feels like every time you speak, butterflies are bound to fly right out of your damn mouth.

“I’m telling the truth!” He says, a hint of offense in his voice.

“I know, just fucking around with you. It means a lot, Sam. I’m like . . basically lost when you’re not here.” You admit, your eyes focused on the road. You’re nervous that if you even look in Sam’s direction you’ll word vomit all over. There’s a knot beginning to tie itself in your throat and suddenly it feels hard to speak.

“Tell me about it. Sometimes before I step on stage I just imagine it’s me and the boys in the garage and it's just you sitting on that dingy little couch. It calms my nerves.” He says, playing his luck with the admittance game.

You let out a fond laugh, your gaze averting to your folded hands in your lap, “You’re funny. .” You say, too caught up in the fact that you can hear your own heartbeat and how hot you suddenly are.

“How?” Sam asks, turning his head towards you.

“Just are. .” You say, meeting his gaze with a smile. He chuckles and turns his head back to the road, making his final turn onto your street. That searing pain is back in your chest once you realize your night is closing in on its end. Sam pulls up to the curb and turns off the ignition.

“I believe this is your stop, miss?” He says, a playful grin on his face.

“Oh, why yes it is.” You retort back, feeding into his playful nature. For a brief moment you two lock eyes and the world almost stops it’s orbit. You can see every glimmer in his eyes and you swear for a second you stop breathing all together.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Sam says, although it’s barely a whisper between the two of you. There’s almost a sense of warning in his voice.  The whole atmosphere shifts and suddenly you feel like you’re playing a dangerous game.

You know you are. You clear your throat before attempting to speak, not wanting to embarrass yourself and give away just how nervous the situation made you, “Yeah, see you tomorrow.” You said, letting yourself out of the car. 

Before you could get the door shut, Sam leaned forward just enough so you could see him, offering a gentle smile – much more comforting than the tone his voice had dropped to a few moments ago, “Goodnight, Y/n. I’ll text you when I get home, okay?” He said, knowing you would ask him to text you anyway to make sure he got home safe.

You nod and wave before shutting the door, making your way inside the house. Your heart is racing incredibly fast and you take a moment after shutting the front door behind you to process what the fuck just happened. So much for normal. You shake your head and toe off your shoes, kicking them aimlessly by the door. You make your way to your room, going about your night time routine before a ping! from your phone alerts you that Sam had gotten home safe. You sit on your bed and swipe the phone unlocked.

Sammy: hey, made it home :)

You: ok good id have to kill you otherwise

Sammy: wooooahhh. 

Sammy: what? jealous im not giving you all of my attention?

A taste of your own medicine from earlier. You roll your eyes at your phone screen.

You: not funny.

Sammy: oh what happened to me being funny ):

Your heart skips  a beat

You: i hate you 

Sammy: no you dont <3

You’re staring, mouth agape, at your phone. How do you even respond to that? Does he know? There’s a million thoughts racing through your mind.

You: shut up

Sammy: hey, dont be mean

You: im being mean.

Sammy: remember who gives you your rides to school in the morning, y/n

You: whatever samuel

Sammy: ouch, full name?

You: god given.

Sammy: ok, message received. good night. I’ll see you in the morning :) 

You: okie

Read 12:37 am

Letting out a groan, you flop back into your bed once again to process the text conversation that just happened. You put your hands over your face, sighing into them before plugging your phone in and making yourself comfortable in bed. Sam was the last thing you thought of before your thoughts lulled you to sleep.